The unappreciated limerick

[EmilyMiller]

Once a young miss in a frock
Said how can I swallow that cock?
It’s too long and wide
It won’t fit inside
I can’t be a THOT on Tik-tok

 

[EmilyMiller]

A blonde girl called Em tried her best
To not get so very obsessed
But she kept wasting time
By just posting rhyme
And regardless of others’ distress

 

[TarnishedPenny]

On a maiden a man once begat
Triplets named Nat, Pat and Tat.
Twas fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding,
For she hadn’t a tit for Tat.

 

[EmilyMiller]

When I have to deal with a prick
Whose offensive and also quite thick
To turn round my frown
And help me calm down
I just write a new Limerick

—

That’s better.

Em

 

[Zootonius]

Limericks were stuck in his head
But posting them filled him with dread
As much as he tried
He couldn't decide
And his stomach was calling to be fed

 

[AlinaX]

Limericks were stuck in his head
Out they turned as he tossed in his bed
Unable to sleep
Despite plenty of sheep
He tried verse - but climaxed instead

 

[Zootonius]

The fellow's main task lay ahead
But found a distraction instead
He was writing a story
That was really quite naughty
But waisted his time on this thread

 

[EmilyMiller]

The fellow's main task lay ahead
But found a distraction instead
He was writing a story
That was really quite naughty
But waisted his time on this thread

*cough* waisted *cough*

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

I worried about his Mom and Dad
Meeting mine, could really be bad
Especially my Mom
It all could go wrong
And then I’ll be left feeling sad

 

[Zootonius]

*cough* waisted *cough*

Em

I can't even write a limerick without an editor

 

[Zootonius]

I worried about his Mom and Dad
Meeting mine, could really be bad
Especially my Mom
It all could go wrong
And then I’ll be left feeling sad

"...where she feared most to fail, she was most sure of success, for those to whom she endeavoured to give pleasure were prepossessed in her favour."

--Pride & Prejudice, Ch 44.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I can't even write a limerick without an editor

I misspelled forlorn initially in one of mine

 

[12oclocktales]

Here are 2 limericks I posted on Lit last December. They got me exactly 2 stars. Maybe they're just too dirty.

There was a young guy from Sioux City
Who dated a babe oh so pretty;
Her ass he did fuck,
But his cock she’d not suck,
“Don’t fancy a rod quite so shitty.”


For his birthday she’d try to detect
The best gift and then go select;
Sports tickets, they’re fine,
Or a case of good wine,
“Your tongue up my ass would be perfect.”

 

[SimonDoom]

Paradise Lost, in limerick form:

In Eden Eve and Adam acted good.
They did what Yaweh said they should.
But Satan with his tasty fruit
Induced the first marriage dispute.
And lo! There went the neighborhood.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Um, gee…. That red light emanating from the back room will be me, blushing.

Bit cheeky of Simon though, to blame you for his in-built procrastination.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Bit cheeky of Simon though, to blame you for his in-built procrastination.

Oh no you don’t! It doesn’t matter what I say; one of you is going to sic the dog or the dingo on me.

 

[SimonDoom]

Oh no you don’t! It doesn’t matter what I say; one of you is going to sic the dog or the dingo on me.

No dogs or dingoes for me. But I'm not above a little gentle teasing or blame-passing.

 

[Alitaptap]

The dingo gave TP an elephant kiss
But something truly was amiss
For his tail was a wagging
But something was lacking
A little more would’ve been bliss

 

[AlinaX]

Miss Emily loves a fun verse
Though limericks are a bit terse
With wits how she writes
Her fantastical flights
And shrugs saying, "Meh, could be worse."

 

[EmilyMiller]

I had quite a nervous weekend
And that’s why Limericks I penned
But on the night
It turned out alright
So I hope my rhymes did not offend

 

[jehoram]

Your weekend was somewhat disquieting
We wonder what was it you're fighting
But as for your verse
It could have been worse,
So don't let it hamper your writing.

 

[WillyBoyIsHere]

An unfortunate fellow from Kent,
Had a penis all twisted and bent.
To save himself trouble,
He put it in double,
So instead of coming, he went.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

OK, back at it.

There was an old man of Lyme
Who married three girls at a time.
When asked why the third,
He said, "One's absurd,"
"And bigamy, sir, is a crime!"

 

[Duleigh]

There was a young girl who begat
Three brats named Nat, Pat, and Tat.
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding
When she found she'd no Tit for Tat.

 

[12oclocktales]

There was a young lady of Natchez
Who chanced to be born with two snatches,
And she often said, "Shit!
Why, I'd give either tit
For a man with equipment that matches."