The unappreciated limerick

[EmilyMiller]

Oh dear. This is like bringing tequila to an AA meeting .

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

So, my latest: Off The Shoulder

A sad guy was getting divorced
So to escorts he felt he’d been forced
Then he met two young misses
Who fulfilled all his wishes
Their services he happily endorsed

 

[EmilyMiller]

Or my current work-in-progress (at 6k words):

My story is for Loving Wives
I bet they are sharpening their knives
But they might get quite pissed
At a couple of twists
I hope that they like their surprise

 

[SimonDoom]

On his neighbor he spied, a voyeur,
A dubious habit, for sure,
But she kept getting nude,
Near the window, no prude!
There's just so much a man can endure.

 

[AlinaX]

A penny she found in the park
And spent it that night in the dark
She lifted her skirt
And moistened the dirt
Then dried herself off with some bark

~ Filed under: Highly questionable activities.

 

[AlinaX]

There once was a daft limerick
'bout a man with a tentacle prick
At twelve metres long
It was a hell of a schlong
And a bit of a tripping hazard, to tell the truth

 

[SimonDoom]

Clothilde had a fetish for pee
Outside, on the streets of Paris.
She attracted a crowd,
Whose entreaties were loud,
To which she responded with "oui."

 

[TarnishedPenny]

A damsel, seductive and handsome,
Got wedged in a sleeping-room transom.
When she offered much gold
For release, she was told
That the view was worth more than the ransom.

 

[SimonDoom]

A damsel, seductive and handsome,
Got wedged in a sleeping-room transom.
When she offered much gold
For release, she was told
That the view was worth more than the ransom.

Excellent!

 

[AlinaX]

A damsel air-brained but seductive
Made arguments dim and reductive
She sat on a fence
Feeling pleasantly tense
And reasoned the shock was inductive

 

[SimonDoom]

A damsel air-brained but seductive
Made arguments dim and reductive
She sat on a fence
Feeling pleasantly tense
And reasoned the shock was inductive

It's fun to pull off a limerick where the end rhymes are more complex and trickier.

 

[12oclocktales]

In the Garden of Eden lay Adam,
Complacently stroking his madam,
And loud was his mirth,
For on all of the Earth
There were only two balls - and he had 'em.

 

[AlinaX]

In Eden a lusty lass walked
Through the trees and the long grass she stalked
With legs open wide
She fucked Adam astride
But when he rolled on top Lilith baulked

 

[MillieDynamite]

Data's Limerick

Data:
There once was a young lady from Venus
Who's body was shaped like a...

Picard:
Data, stop that!

 

[Red_Herring4]

I broke up with a girl named Marie,
Who then suffered intense ennui.
Released from her net,
I told her, "Don't fret.
There are plenty of me in the sea."

 

[Tedfkats]

There was a young man from St Paul
Whose dick was exceedingly small
He buggered a gnat
At the edge of a mat
And the gnat never felt it at all.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

A dashing young fellow named Blood
Made a fortune by standing at stud,
With an eleven-inch peter,
A double-beat metre
And a load like the Biblical flood.

 

[SimonDoom]

Betty Sue's attitude toward a dress
Was that more could be gotten with less.
The shorter the hem
The nearer the quim
To a suitor's sweet touch and caress.

 

[Comshaw]

A couple from me.

And for information's sake Sequim is pronounced "Skwim"

There was a young lady from Sequim,
who insisted on keeping it trim,
A fella named Dick,
gave it a long lick
And she instantly had quivering Quim!


There was a young lady from Florence,
who found sex completely abhorrent.
Until a guy named Dick,
strummed her bean with a flick,
and now she cums like a torrent!


Comshaw

 

[Smuttyandfun]

There was a young man from Nantucket
Who carried his thing in a bucket
Women would smile
And look for a while
But sadly, none agreed to suck it

 

[Smuttyandfun]

There was a young lady named Doris
Who would flash her giant clitoris
Like moths to a flame
The boys they all came
Except for a gay lad named Boris

 

[12oclocktales]

I dined with Lord Hughing Fitz-Bluing
Who asked, "Do you squirm when you're screwing?"
I replied, "Simple shagging
Without any wagging
Is only for screwing canoeing."

 

[SimonDoom]

Ogg came to the Hangout, years past,
His humor and wisdom stuck fast.
He embodied rare grace
In a querulous space,
And on that may his legacy last.

 

[Trionyx]

To which she responded with "oui."

Or: To which she responded “oui, oui.”

 

[AlinaX]

A parrot whose name was Louis
Was famous for saying, "Oui! Oui!"
A robber one day
Was caught out, in a way,
When they all heard the bird cry