The politics of the strap-on

[Couture]

Probably not a good idea to try a lot of things I write about. My stories are acted out by trained professionals. Please. . .don't try this at home.

Always use condoms and actual sexual lubricants.
Joy burns like a mother, but not as bad as Ben Gay, which will make you find religion.
If your partner says no, it mean no unless you have a safe word.
Knives do a poor job of cutting through boxers.
The kitchen counter in 95% of American households is not long enough to support the male torso.

Come on, it's just fiction. Leave me a little editorial license.

 

[CarolineOh]

I don't have any problem with a bit of artistic license. In my own stories I've ignored matters like contraception and safer sex when it didn't seem to fit into the erotic mood of the narrative,
But if you post a link to a fictional piece to a forum in which people are seeking factual imformation, I don't think it's inappropriate for people to comment on unsafe or improper practices in the story.

 

[Shadowsdream]

For Me using a strap on on a male or a female gives Me much the same emotions. Power and control!
I adore both! I have discovered that My toys submission level drops almost to a sub space just by the anticipation of the control I will take in the ultimate way that I have chosen in that moment.
Strap ons can be used brutaly or passionately or lovingly. To intimidate or to reassure.

 

[gomeade]

It's all good

Couture--

No need to defend. I enjoyed the story. I did get a giggle over the thought of bubbles blowing out of his butt, but that's just me being bad.

 

[lovetoread]

Re: It's all good

Couture--

No need to defend. I enjoyed the story. I did get a giggle over the thought of bubbles blowing out of his butt, but that's just me being bad.

Heh what a mental image that was.

 

[gomeade]

Back to the matter at hand . . .

Shadows brings up a point which has not been much discussed here -- every strap-on user who has posted has given me the sense that they use the strap-on with a fair amount of gentleness, whereas Shadows mentions, and Couture's story illustrates, a more ramrod-ish approach to its use. I'm curious whether any of the strap-on users who are following this thread have engaged in a more vigorous use of the strap-on? I could see where some men might abhor this, not so much for pain issues (which a good lubricant should cure), but because of the heightening of the role reversal.
Again, I think that where strap-ons are not being used as a safer surrogate for exploring homosexual fantasies, the socially imposed notion of male-centered power and dominance gets way bound up in the use of the strap-on. When a woman takes that further and really goes to town with a pounding, body-slapping fuck, some men might consent but later feel that their status in the relationship is too threatened.

So, who can talk about forceful, not forcible, fucking with a strap on?

 

[cymbidia]

Not me! says the good little subbie, as she steps back from this part of the discussion.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Back to the matter at hand . . .

Shadows brings up a point which has not been much discussed here -- every strap-on user who has posted has given me the sense that they use the strap-on with a fair amount of gentleness, whereas Shadows mentions, and Couture's story illustrates, a more ramrod-ish approach to its use. I'm curious whether any of the strap-on users who are following this thread have engaged in a more vigorous use of the strap-on? I could see where some men might abhor this, not so much for pain issues (which a good lubricant should cure), but because of the heightening of the role reversal.
Again, I think that where strap-ons are not being used as a safer surrogate for exploring homosexual fantasies, the socially imposed notion of male-centered power and dominance gets way bound up in the use of the strap-on. When a woman takes that further and really goes to town with a pounding, body-slapping fuck, some men might consent but later feel that their status in the relationship is too threatened.

So, who can talk about forceful, not forcible, fucking with a strap on?

I do not recall saying anything about being gentle. You do have to be careful. I think a progressive approach is wise. You can tear the anal canal, and rectal surgery is not fun. The ass has to get used to being fucked. And I have to say, the men I know are not concerned with homosexual fantasies. they just like their asses fucked.

Ebony

 

[iamaddog]

strapons/like to get it

Miss EbonyFire says or said of some such some men just like to get it in the butt.....oh I spose it's possible...for some.
me? well.....can't say it was coz I had some lustful yearning for it. it was,..supposed-to-be just a way to "bond" emotionally with the girlfriend/1st Mistress---
but that got ruined when She said she couldn't deal with it.
maybe .. some day..I'll wait to see if Mistress Ann will do it for me.
as to wanting it,....well--okay, I'll confess..I liked it. quite so. but there is no particular drive for it. no particular lust for it. but..but...I did enjoy the power change. that part..I do crave for. I like the feeling of being under Her power as it were. that part is--what "I" crave..switching power.....but maybe..it is just my submissive side showing.....it was...a vanilla relationship.

everyone take care....
mad dog in california now.
registered #807385

 

[gomeade]

Preach on, Ebony!

I like your style. I agree that some men (me included, obviously) just like to get their asses fucked. My point there was aimed at the men who secretly crave it but won't admit to it.

Given your valid points about tears and other damage, just how "hard" do you do it with your subs? I'm not looking for erotica here, but I'm unclear about how you define the limit of safe, hard ass-fucking.

By the way, thanks to all who have posted.

 

[Jack_Shriker]

oh wow i missed this thread and i myself am happy to say i like strap ons they are fun things and prostate manipulation is the true key to an orgasm i think it makes the whole this so much better and also its a big submissive thing for the male

 

[gomeade]

A question of size and appearance

Okay, the last question went nowhere, so let's try this one.

Some women prefer to strap-on a truly cock-like dildo while others prefer something that does not look just like a penis. I'd like some direct feedback re: what you like to strap on and what dimensions you prefer.

Thanks!

 

[mikeuk60]

My female partner has two vibs...one small (about 5 inches and quite slim) and one monster. She has no interest on fucking me with either a vib or a strap-on although i am very keen having masturbated while penetrated by both on seprate ocasions.

The smaller of the two is far more comftable to play with although you do tend to loose the sensation quite quickly...the monster one takes a while to get in and takes a LOT of care, however by the time you climax it feels fantastic.

There are some great videos on strappedon.com its a pay site but i found it to be worth it...but only if you get membership to all of the offered sites.

Have fun

Mike

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Preach on, Ebony!

I like your style. I agree that some men (me included, obviously) just like to get their asses fucked. My point there was aimed at the men who secretly crave it but won't admit to it.

Given your valid points about tears and other damage, just how "hard" do you do it with your subs? I'm not looking for erotica here, but I'm unclear about how you define the limit of safe, hard ass-fucking.

By the way, thanks to all who have posted.

First of all, it depends on how relaxed the person is. The more relaxed, the easier it is, and the bigger the dildo.

Then you need tons of lube. You can never have too much lube for anal sex. And Each person is different. Just like many women do not like to be pounded, many men do not like to be pounded either.

Know your fuckee, LOL! what his/her limits are, and how their particular bodies react to anal stimulation. I always start with fingers. I use latex gloves on my hands.

Ebony

 

[cellis]

Ok I have a question about the strap on harness and the dildo and I am hoping someone can help me.

I want to get the harness from JT's Stockroom that cym had posted earlier. To go along with it I want to get the Nexus from good vibes. com, but I don't know if it will fit the harness. I have looked at a lot of different harnesses and the one from JT's is the one I want.

I wonder if anyone has used this combination or if you can tell me how you tell if the dildo works with harness.

 

[cellis]

Or if this one that is a little smaller would work...

 

[cymbidia]

Hey cellis? I have the JT's harness and so i know that it's fully adjustable. That means you can move the ring which holds the dildo in place around. That means you can use a two sided dildo like the ones you've posted pics of. The only real limiting factor is the diameter of the ring that hold the dildo in place.

1. Get that info about the dildo harness. If i recall this correctly, there are two different ring diameteres you can order, right?

2. Find out what diameter ring is required to hold into a harness the dildo you want to use.

3. Determine if that dildo harness will work with that dildo.

I'll tell you something fror personal experience though: it's a bitch to get the dildo into that ring on your harness. It's a bigger badder bitch to change it around with anything other than very occasional frequency. The dildo harness is designed for a dildo that fits *tightly* and, thus, requires some real muscles to get seated properly.

Additionally, if your dildo is just too big in diameter someplace along its girth, it's not going through the ring. Maybe from the other direction? Be sure it's girth will allow it to slide or squeeze through that ring from one direction or the other, too, or you'll NEVER get it seated properly.

The 3 keys to making this work are the diameter of the ring on the harness, the diameter of the place on the dildo that supposed to fit that ring, and the biggest diameter on the dildo.

 

[cellis]

Thanks cym, I was hoping that you would respond... I knew you had the harness and I was hoping that you had the Nexus too... since you seem to have just about every toy (lol).. I will get the information and then see which one I should order...

 

[cellis]

Ok here is another question about strap-ons... what about the vaculock system... has anyone used this type of harness and dildo system... and what do you prefer...

I am only interested because I am shopping around and ran into this...

 

[James Blandings]

Ok here is another question about strap-ons... what about the vaculock system... has anyone used this type of harness and dildo system... and what do you prefer...

I am only interested because I am shopping around and ran into this...

I can't speak from the wearer's perspective, but I can say that the vaculock system works pretty well, the dildo attachs very securely, and it is easy to change sizes if you are so inclined.

 

[cellis]

I can't speak from the wearer's perspective, but I can say that the vaculock system works pretty well, the dildo attachs very securely, and it is easy to change sizes if you are so inclined.

Thanks James Blandings...

I found one that I thought might be ideal from the wearer's perspective as well as the reciever's...

 

[superlittlegirl]

cellis

I have the Nexus Dildo, and it is, bar-none, the most incredible toy I have ever used. I have an extensive collection of dildoes and plugs, but that one is the one to have if you absolutely must choose. I can't say enough good things about it. I actually wrote a letter to Toys In Babeland telling them WHY I love it so much (with the hopes that they'd use my letter in the customer picks part of the site) but I never sent it off. I am going to dig it up and post it in this thread in a few minutes.

Also, I just tried on my harness with the Nexus. I actually had not done that yet because the lamentable lack of partner-sex in my life has made it a non- issue. But I tried it on (just for you, and the sake of the thread) and it is a great fit. I have a 2-strap leather harness from Onyx designs and I had to adjust the straps differently than I would have to with my regular dildo, but the fit was snug, the G-spot stim was strong, and it looked really hot, too. And of course, I had to take pictures! :-D

I have not been able to find my harness on the web anywhere, but I did get it from Toys in Babeland, in NYC. They don't have it listed in their online catalogue, but I'm sure they could tell you where to get it. It does not have interchangable sized rings; it just has an opening for the dildo to fit through, but it works really well with the toys I already have, so that option is not a necessity. I prefer this harness over the Terra Firma (from Stormy, I think) because it is made of a better grade leather, I prefer D-rings (which this has), it is very secure in fit, and it sits low-low-low on my pubic bone, so it puts the base of the dil right where I need it. Plus, I find it to be more aesthetically pleasing than the others I have seen. I feel so SEXY in my harness.

OK, I'm off to grab these new pictures-- visual aids will be available in mere moments.

--Freya

 

[superlittlegirl]

the nexus in the harness

here's the nexus strapped on, and IN!

 

[superlittlegirl]

on & in again

here's a horiontal view

 

[superlittlegirl]

the onyx harness itself

here's the harness sans dildo.