The politics of the strap-on

[gomeade]

Such a complex issue!

I know of no other consensual practice that triggers this much difference of opinion. As one who would be on the receiving end, I view this as the ultimate surrender and exchange of power. Many women who have actually used strapons find the sensation of having an externally directed organ very exciting. One of the things that really excites me about this is the thought of feeling her erect nipples brushing against my back in certain positions.

More thoughts? Pictures? Graphs and charts?

 

[CarolineOh]

Re: Re: Re: Ohhhhh Caroline Oh

Me too.

 

[CarolineOh]

Re: Such a complex issue!

I know of no other consensual practice that triggers this much difference of opinion. As one who would be on the receiving end, I view this as the ultimate surrender and exchange of power. Many women who have actually used strapons find the sensation of having an externally directed organ very exciting. One of the things that really excites me about this is the thought of feeling her erect nipples brushing against my back in certain positions.

More thoughts? Pictures? Graphs and charts?

Lots of pictures here.
http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=72926

 

[SierraMoon]

i have used strap ons on both men and women, because i was asked to... (actually took a gf's virginity with it!! ). I found that it was indeed very enpowering, and it felt really good at the time. I, myself have what i've heard called "penis envy".... i am enamored with the male genitalia, so to feel that i had one of my very own was a huge turn on. I would do it again, if asked, but i am not the type that will tell someone they will succumb to my using one.... if i'm told they are interested, and they crave it, i would do it again in a heartbeat... it's truly an awesome feeling!! hugs to all... sierra

 

[gomeade]

Thanks for the link, Caroline

Caroline Ohhhhhhh's link to the forum thread is a treasure trove of strap-on pics. Our Mr. Blandings is quite the sharer of all photos BDSM, and I salute him. Quite beautiful.

 

[SpectreT]

A Strap-on thread?

You knew it had to happen. No one, and I mean no one, can post a thread about women using strap-ons, especially on men, without me popping in with a comment.

It's one of my top fantasies. I'm not even remotely attracted to men, but cocks do turn me on to look at. I like wearing women's clothes, so that's two gender-based "issues" I have, but I haven't given up on finding a woman of compatible kinks.

And yes, James has shared quite a bit of imagery with us, hasn't he?

 

[Ebonyfire]

I must be the odd woman out...

I know quite a few men who like to be anally stimulated. I like to do it, because it is really wonderful to see a man cum so hard. It is wonderful. Many times they finally let go and scream in release!

Itis especially erotic when my sub is begging to cum cause he has been on the edge so long that he can barely hold on!

I have had an orgasm just hearing him moan! It is hot!

I usually just describe the last experience I had in great detail, and then the male I am talking to is eager to be the next in line.

Yes, you have to train the ass, but sometimes it does not take all that long, if the guy is really horny and you have lots, and I mean lots of lube.

Ebony

 

[CarolineOh]

I don't know that you are the odd one out, Ebonyfire, this is something I have been wanting to do for a long time.
My ex-husband loved anal play, and I occasioanlly used a dildo or anal beads with him, but he never agreed to letting me use a strap on. Eventually, he turned out to want real dick more than he wanted a wife, but that's another story.
Reading your thoughts on the subject makes me more determined to make this fantasy a reality. Thanks.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Apology accepted, and I'm glad to know that it just came out wrong, because I think there's an important point in here.

Personally, I haven't done the strap-on thing. I like anally stimulating a man, and have done so in a variety of other ways, but I don't feel particularly drawn to the idea of strapping on a cock. It doesn't turn me off, it just doesn't particularly strike me either. If he suggested it, though, I'd gladly do it.

As to whether I have "issues" about power and its relationship to the phallus? Well, that's a question too huge to even guess at an answer. I seem fairly well adjusted to me, but don't we all? LOL

It's an interesting line of thinking, even if I don't yet know what I think.

Of course, that never stops me from pontificating, anyway.

 

[VeryBadGirl]

I am DYING to do this to my hub, but it's been slow going. The problem is that I think we've been using toys that are too big. I need to get something smaller so that we aren't nervous.

He's not ANXIOUS to be fucked by me, but will do it because I want to, and because he thinks he will enjoy it. When I DO do it, it will be because I love playing with his ass - seeing toys go in and out is a huge turn on for me. On his end, I think he just likes the way it feels.

We DO disagree about the position though - I want him bent over, but he wants to be on his back. Hmmm, what could this mean?

VBG

 

[pierced_boy]

Pontificating

.

 

[Lain]

When my current lover showed me his box of toys, it included a strap-on. He had only used it once with a previous partner, but had spoken a few times about how much he enjoyed it.

The thought of using it on him is very exciting. For me, it's definitely a power thing -- to have him at my mercy. It's also curiosity -- to know what it's like to be on the thrusting end.

Unfortunately, the last time I brought it up (about a month ago), he said he was uncomfortable with the idea, and I decided I wouldn't initiate anything with the strap-on until he expressed that he was ready for it. Lately, though, I've been getting a bit impatient and thinking of bring it up again...



Lain

 

[Ebonyfire]

Try your fingers first!

When my current lover showed me his box of toys, it included a strap-on. He had only used it once with a previous partner, but had spoken a few times about how much he enjoyed it.

The thought of using it on him is very exciting. For me, it's definitely a power thing -- to have him at my mercy. It's also curiosity -- to know what it's like to be on the thrusting end.

Unfortunately, the last time I brought it up (about a month ago), he said he was uncomfortable with the idea, and I decided I wouldn't initiate anything with the strap-on until he expressed that he was ready for it. Lately, though, I've been getting a bit impatient and thinking of bring it up again...



Lain

I have found if a man is apprehensive about a strap on it susually means he is afraid it will hurt. If you prepare him by using progressive stretching he usually finds that the sensations are so pleasurable, he can't wait for you to "strap it on."

You really have to take your time and use lots of lube. I usually take about 30 to 45 minutes prepping a virgin ass for my anal probes. It is worth the effort!

Good luck.

Ebony

 

[Ebonyfire]

I am DYING to do this to my hub, but it's been slow going. The problem is that I think we've been using toys that are too big. I need to get something smaller so that we aren't nervous.

He's not ANXIOUS to be fucked by me, but will do it because I want to, and because he thinks he will enjoy it. When I DO do it, it will be because I love playing with his ass - seeing toys go in and out is a huge turn on for me. On his end, I think he just likes the way it feels.

We DO disagree about the position though - I want him bent over, but he wants to be on his back. Hmmm, what could this mean?

VBG

I like both positions. I got my anal trainer from goodvibes.com. tf is a lot narrower than a regular dildo and fits right into my harness. It does not look anything like a real cock, cause that is not my purpose.

I am not mimicking having a real dick. I am using a dildo. both of my harness dildoes are brightly colored; purple and blue, my favorite colors.

Ebony

 

[gomeade]

Why men say no

Although I think some men truly are apprehensive about pain (funny how it often fails to deter them from craving their female lovers' assholes), I think that many more men are concerned that they may subtlely open the possibility to their female lovers that they may be gay if they reveal how much they love being anally penetrated. That's not so much male narrowmindedness as it is the pressures of social stereotypes. As boys, most of us learn of gay male behavior as being the desire to have anal sex with a man and until recent years most young boys were taught by their peers that being gay was bad. We rationally know that nothing could be further from the truth, but so much of our sex-play, particularly in B&D is tied with youthful, subconcious patterns.

I guess there must be some basis for the fear given the earlier post here re: the woman whose ex-husband turned out to like the strap-on so much because he was, in fact, gay. I'm just glad that he was finally able to get in touch with who he really was.

I must say, seeing the large number of women post to this site re: their willingness and even eagerness to explore strap-on sex is totally depressing me that I've never met such a person. I salute all of you and regret that I've not (yet hopefully) had the pleasure.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Why men say no

Although I think some men truly are apprehensive about pain (funny how it often fails to deter them from craving their female lovers' assholes), I think that many more men are concerned that they may subtlely open the possibility to their female lovers that they may be gay if they reveal how much they love being anally penetrated. That's not so much male narrowmindedness as it is the pressures of social stereotypes. As boys, most of us learn of gay male behavior as being the desire to have anal sex with a man and until recent years most young boys were taught by their peers that being gay was bad. We rationally know that nothing could be further from the truth, but so much of our sex-play, particularly in B&D is tied with youthful, subconcious patterns.

I guess there must be some basis for the fear given the earlier post here re: the woman whose ex-husband turned out to like the strap-on so much because he was, in fact, gay. I'm just glad that he was finally able to get in touch with who he really was.

I must say, seeing the large number of women post to this site re: their willingness and even eagerness to explore strap-on sex is totally depressing me that I've never met such a person. I salute all of you and regret that I've not (yet hopefully) had the pleasure.

Yes I have read that the primary sexual acitvity of gay men is not anal penetration but cock sucking and mutual masturbation. If that is so, then most men are gay at heart!

LOL I sincerely doubt that little bit of generalization! If men are that worried about appearing to be gay, then things have sunk to a sad state!

Ebony

 

[CarolineOh]

Re: Why men say no

I guess there must be some basis for the fear given the earlier post here re: the woman whose ex-husband turned out to like the strap-on so much because he was, in fact, gay. I'm just glad that he was finally able to get in touch with who he really was.

That was me.To clarify, he wouldn't let me use a strap on, although we did other anal play. I think it's possible that he thought it might tip me into figuring out his true orientation, I don't really know.
As far as him being in touch with who he was, he always knew, he was screwing around with guys behind my back the whole time we were married. I was the one with blinders on.

 

[gomeade]

Sometimes blinders are bad

He was a foolish, baddddddd man to lead you on like that. But your tiara still shines.

 

[cymbidia]

I have a really good black leather harness and a couple of dildos that were made for harnesses. I got the harness from The Stockroom (http://www.stockroom.com/j013.htm), the place at which i get most of my online toys, and can recommend it without hesitation as being of very good quality.

I have used the harness with three different partners. All of them were Dominant and i was definitely sub in our sexual play. Those who know me know that i don't switch; i'm just not wired that way.

In all cases, i wore the harness and used it and dildos at the express request of my Dominant. In all cases, i found incredble pleasure by taking what so many think of as a dominant position - that of the one doing the fucking of someone else who is "just" recieving it. In my case, with my partners, my Dominants, i was always still sub, always still controlled by them and used for thier pleasure.

Initially, way back when the first of them got the thing for me and told me it would become apart of our play, i was resistant. I was sorta panicky, i think, and afraid i couldn't "do it" right, or that i would hurt him, or that i would feel funny and wrong by taking a quintessentially Top position.

All was well, though. One can indeed wear and use - vigorously! - a strap-on cock and still remain entirely submissive to her partner. One can find pleasure in doing that, too, a unique kind of pleasure. (Those dildos? They hook into the harness right over your clit! Every thrust presses against your clit. Harder...faster...more...more...more... WOW!)

There are a lot of us who have experience with strap-on's, i think, and from all sides of the BDSM equation, too.

 

[Lance Hardrock]

An inspiration

Cym you are an inspiration to all us subbies.

 

[gomeade]

Strap-on submissive?

Cym's concept is novel. Dominance suggests control, and it's difficult to be in control of being penetrated by one's submissive. With dominant women being fucked in some fashion by a submissive male, control can remain with the woman through her ability to force her sub to hold his ejaculation for her command. However, that issue isn't present in strap-on sex. There is some control kept through the use of the vibrator or dildo inside the harness for the woman's pleasure, but still, Cym and her partner pulled off a feat if they were able to maintain the dom and sub roles intact while Cym was using the harness. Rock on!

 

[Couture]

Great thread! It inspired me to write a story. Thanks.


Breaking and Entering

 

[iamaddog]

strapons.....yummmmmm

"I" have had one.....experience...period!

and god did i love it!

hopefully....maybe...if I'm a really good boy I will be brave enough to ask Mistress if She will give me my 2nd taste...
it is way too early and i am in my 2nd day here full time real life...


if i just had courage said the cowardly lion...



mad dog in california from iowa

 

[gomeade]

Inspiration is a reward in itself

I'm glad that our thread got Couture's creative juices (ha!) flowing. Sexy and multi-themed story, no less. But Joy dish detergent as a lubricant? I just wonder about the bubbles . . . .

 

[cymbidia]

Re: Inspiration is a reward in itself

But Joy dish detergent as a lubricant? I just wonder about the bubbles . . . .

Note: Do not use Joy dish detergent as a lubricant at all anywhere on your body.

It's not intended to be used on the delicate tissues we have inside our anuses and vaginas. It's formulated to cut and breakdown grease and leave your dishes streak-free.

Do not ever ever ever ever ever EVER use anything not designed for use inside your body as a lubricant.

It's stupid and you can end up hurt.
And it wouldn't be good pain, either.
AND you'd have to tell a Medical Professional or two all about it.

Geeze.
The unsafe things some people put into stories...



gomeade? Nice catch. Thank you for giving me a chance to lecture ponderously about that which it would never have occurred to me that i (or any of us) would need to mention. Who, after all, would actually put dish detergent...there?