The Gentle Dom/ Daddy

[Strixaluco]

No actually... I said something that isn't true. There's one clear negative side, and that's the added complication to finding a partner that matches you. I didn't suffer from it, but I also consider myself extremely lucky. If I believed in karma, it would confirm that belief.

I know many Doms and subs who are polyamoric. They don't need to get everything in a single package. While I do know littles who are polyamoric, it seems to me that it is more common for us to monogamous and to need that "all in one". Or at least to have a desire for the main romantic partner to be the Daddy.

I have talked less with daddies about this, so I don't know if the same applies. But I wouldn't be surprised if it fid when talking about responsible Daddies. As DD/lg goes deep emotionally. Very deep. I've had more than one good, long, serious relationship in my life, and yet this goes beyond all of them.

 

[Strixaluco]

It has been very eye opening to have the return of support for her as well. Even as Daddy I need her to help me too, just in the way a little can.

3 years with others in the thread of littles has taught me, that it seems to be a native trait for littles to offer support back. We are very caring, too.

2-3 years in the national bdsm scene has taught me that many Doms think that they can not accept support from their subs. But this is different with many Daddies. The vulnerability is accepted. And I'd actually miss it if my partner was keeping his vulnerability from me. Of course I want to help him!

 

[kyblue12]

3 years with others in the thread of littles has taught me, that it seems to be a native trait for littles to offer support back. We are very caring, too.

2-3 years in the national bdsm scene has taught me that many Doms think that they can not accept support from their subs. But this is different with many Daddies. The vulnerability is accepted. And I'd actually miss it if my partner was keeping his vulnerability from me. Of course I want to help him!

That’s what I have like most about this. The reciprocity. There is a circle of support that allows DD and little to grow themselves and together. It is an incredibly deep bond for us already. It started before we began exploring and is continuing to grow now.

 

[Strixaluco]

One challenge we've encountered, in addition to even knowing what we'd want in terms of DD/lg, is practical limitations. I'd benefit from some rules that he doesn't feel comfortable setting as he cannot supervise them. Like bedtime hour (we haven't moved together so far.) Sure, overseeing it would help even more, and 1-2 times a week he does that, and physically tucks me in before leaving home.

He could check my sleep stats to see if I followed the tiles, but that's just not him. Just like not all Doms (or subs) are in for a total power exchange and rather stay within sessions.

 

[kyblue12]

Our bed time routine is me tucking her in and cuddling her in messages when we sign off for the night. It’s what we have, so we make use of it.

I think we fall into a similar power exchange. I don’t need to check her stats. She’s been her a few nights after sleep time. I just check in to make sure she’s ok and understand that she can’t sleep sometimes.

 

[kyblue12]

for the first time ever I found my inner Dom earlier today. I had a task in mind for her and in addition to the task she gave some playful pushback. I was firm,got a bit firmer as the pushback continued, and praised when she settled to listen. She responded positively to the task and was rewarded again.

It was an amazing feeling moving through that. Not even close to a power trip, just a feeling that we had connected that way.

I also have to admit to a little bit of arousal as well. That shocked me, I would not have expected that since taking on that role seemed foreign as could be up to that moment. Ours is a low sexuality relationship though so I didn’t mention it, but it was there.

 

[kyblue12]

Try implementing early bedtime as a discipline method.

that was going to be an upcoming question… discipline and an online only relationship…. Ty @dominantman22

 

[barefootgirl69]

If it's not a hard limit for her. It's something to be discussed to see if it would be worth implementing or trying.

This one area is more difficult with LDR.
In one previous DLG, we discussed tasks and apps that help in these areas.

Try implementing early bedtime as a discipline method.

that was going to be an upcoming question… discipline and an online only relationship…. Ty @dominantman22

 

[barefootgirl69]

What tasks and what apps exactly?

If I had that information at the top of my head, I would have posted it here. Pretty sure we discussed it #2 and #3 of the thread I mentioned.

 

[dawn_of_night]

If she's an animal lover.... I recently started using Finch....
It lets me set goals for myself and rewards me with little rainbow stones and stuffies for my finch ....

It's free ... But also has purchases so be ware

Totally not the same I'm sure, but I like the goals aspect

 

[dawn_of_night]

Nice, i implement putting star sticker on her calendar for every achievement.

Man.... I lose my calendar weekly....
I'd never get a star

 

[dawn_of_night]

Five stars in arow earnjng you a reward might serve as a motivation to never lose it again...

Maybe!!

 

[Daddyhelpme]

The direction this thread has taken makes me curious how often the daddy thing is non-sexual (talk of bedtimes and calendars and life lessons). I absolutely love when my daddy gives me pleasure but I feel like my preference for Daddies is non-sexual at the root of it.

I personally trace it back to 3 years spent at a high school for "at-risk youth". I would describe every male teacher I had there as a daddy, but there was never anything inappropriate or sexual with me or any other student. One teacher saw I was struggling with life stuff in my senior year and he called me to his room, sat down with me, and taught me how to write checks and balance my checkbook. Another teacher had me come to his room during his planning period for weeks in my sophmore year and made me practice typing until I was testing at 70 words per minute. This wasn't a grade requirement, he just thought having this skill would make my life better. There are dozens more examples I could give but I feel like this set the precedent for me.

 

[kyblue12]

@Daddyhelpme I think that will differ for each relationship. Not everyone will have the same level of sexual activity, just like in a vanilla relationship. For us we decided that the best way forward was to follow the lowest level of consent in a sexual situation. she generally has a lower sex drive than I do so we will almost always default to what she wants at the time. Thats us though, I can see a variety of different ways a relationship can go though. We each find our own road and this another part of that.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Here's a link to Daddy's Little Girl for discussion on online apps.

Post in thread 'Daddy's Little Girl - Fourth Edition' https://forum.literotica.com/threads/daddys-little-girl-fourth-edition.1583842/post-101089163

 

[Strixaluco]

that was going to be an upcoming question… discipline and an online only relationship…. Ty @dominantman22

What about asking your little about it?

I actually had to write an essay about punishments, and then we had a discussion based on that.

 

[Strixaluco]

The direction this thread has taken makes me curious how often the daddy thing is non-sexual (talk of bedtimes and calendars and life lessons). I absolutely love when my daddy gives me pleasure but I feel like my preference for Daddies is non-sexual at the root of it.

I'm afraid the statistics are missing...

There are so many variants. I know even those who enjoy "dark DDlg". I'm on the other side of the spectrum, I am not little and sexual simultaneously really, I've described myself as "sub in the bedroom and little outside of it".

So yes, I have a very much sexual relationship with my partner, but not sexual DDlg.

 

[dawn_of_night]

I'm afraid the statistics are missing...

There are so many variants. I know even those who enjoy "dark DDlg". I'm on the other side of the spectrum, I am not little and sexual simultaneously really, I've described myself as "sub in the bedroom and little outside of it".

So yes, I have a very much sexual relationship with my partner, but not sexual DDlg.

This is comforting to know that I'm not the only one that feels that way because in a sexual relationship I want very adult things and it's hard to be little during that time. But outside of the bedroom, I like the things that littles like: stuffies and coloring and cartoons and snacks and cuddles and naps and comfort.

 

[Strixaluco]

This is comforting to know that I'm not the only one that feels that way because in a sexual relationship I want very adult things and it's hard to be little during that time. But outside of the bedroom, I like the things that little Spike stuffies and coloring and cartoons and snacks and cuddles and naps and comfort.

I've understood that also many Daddies would be weirded out by having something sexual with their partner actively in little mode.

I simply snap out of little mode when anything sexual is happening. At most I can flirt in a teenage-reminding mode, and then I get surprised when it actually leads to something and *snap*

 

[BiBunny]

And for me--and I know I'm probably in the minority here--it can be sexual. Doesn't have to be, but it can be. I don't suddenly become not little when I'm ready for playtime. *Shrug*

 

[dawn_of_night]

And for me--and I know I'm probably in the minority here--it can be sexual. Doesn't have to be, but it can be. I don't suddenly become not little when I'm ready for playtime. *Shrug*

So Ive been thinking about this.... And I'd say the best description for me....
Would be....
"He fucked the little right out of me"
Because I'm sure it starts playful and silly.... And then at some point all the naughty comes to the surface and I'm not little anymore and I want lots of adult things.....