The Gentle Dom/ Daddy

[nakedginger]

If you been in the dynamic a while your D/DD may be able to pickup some of your subtle changes or inflexion. Although the key to good/successful dynamics is communications, there are ways of asking/suggesting for changes or improvements without being overt. You should however feel comfortable to speak your mind the submissive is not a door matt.
You get out what you put in.

Thank you. This is exactly what I like and how things should be

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

The negatives are finding a DD for the first time in your life.. And it's the only dynamic you've known in that lifestyle, and it's not so gentle.. You feel like In order to please your daddy, you play a part to please him..
Not realizing that what you thought was a great relationship was you being used and then told your were crazy to think you mattered to your DD... You asked to be called a slut, therefore you liked it...
That you weren't special you were one of many he was using...

I'm just still bitter...3½ years was not my imagination...
It wasn't all bad, of course..
I got some cool toys!!

I was so hurt by my DD after that ended.. I asked to get over 10 stories and audios deleted from my account, and I'll never call anyone Daddy again..
Love and learn...

 

[Sexy_Singer]

The negatives are finding a DD for the first time in your life.. And it's the only dynamic you've known in that lifestyle, and it's not so gentle.. You feel like In order to please your daddy, you play a part to please him..
Not realizing that what you thought was a great relationship was you being used and then told your were crazy to think you mattered to your DD... You asked to be called a slut, therefore you liked it...
That you weren't special you were one of many he was using...

I'm just still bitter...3½ years was not my imagination...
It wasn't all bad, of course..
I got some cool toys!!

I was so hurt by my DD after that ended.. I asked to get over 10 stories and audios deleted from my account, and I'll never call anyone Daddy again..
Love and learn...

I'm so sorry that you went through that experience

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Prior to meeting my ex, I would never have considered this. The terminology felt squicky to me (because I didn’t really understand it at that time), but… He and I had been talking for a while and clearly were compatible and one day he told me this is the dynamic he preferred and asked if I would consider calling him “Daddy.” I was surprised and told him I needed to think about it. I did say yes and it really, really worked for us. The dynamic was a caring and guiding one and nurturing while still being demanding. I loved our relationship and him.

I don’t think I would necessarily seek out Daddy/babygirl again, especially since my partner isn’t into it and I see he and I making it for the rest of our lives. Him not being into it is interesting, though, because a lot of our relationship dynamics are similar to my last. He’s strong, caring, guiding. We don’t have a punishment dynamic. (Which is great, as I am happiest when pleasing my partner and NOT needing to be punished ever, lol).

 

[IrisAlthea]

If you know me, you know that the majority of my time has been spent on the Play Ground side. But, since my start on Lit, I have grown and evolved. I've listened closely to those who were in D/s or DD/lg dynamics. I heard the caring in the relationships. Though sometimes it isn't always sexual, this dynamic has drawn me in. I find fulfillment in the Daddy identity.

I appreciate any serious discussion, whether from Doms/Daddy's or subs/littles on this subject. What have you experienced in your relationships? What are the positives? What are the negatives?

I don’t have any experience with the Daddy Dom thing and it isn’t something that I’ve felt drawn to.

As for the caring though, I think a version of that needs to be part of the package for me. It’s the thinking ahead, staying aware and looking out, that makes some things that would otherwise be a no, feel doable.

 

[nakedginger]

Maybe the terminolgy puts people off? People think of incest (which it definately is nothing to do with) rather than a mature guiding figure you get comfort with. The dynamic of a guiding older "father figure" is poweful in my relationships. I am a natural pleaser so want to make Him like a daughter woukd her parents. It is also great for learning, guiding and self-improvement.
I have ADHD and need calm control to keep me focused. I like instruction, routine, chores and helping.

 

[Mrlighthouse]

A caring strong yet fun Daddy is how I try to be.
Generous in all aspects, and kind. Mixing it with sexual energy and lots of respect

 

[IrisAlthea]

Maybe the terminolgy puts people off? People think of incest (which it definately is nothing to do with) rather than a mature guiding figure you get comfort with. The dynamic of a guiding older "father figure" is poweful in my relationships. I am a natural pleaser so want to make Him like a daughter woukd her parents. It is also great for learning, guiding and self-improvement.
I have ADHD and need calm control to keep me focused. I like instruction, routine, chores and helping.

And father figure isn’t necessarily associated with a comforting, mature guidance, for all of us.

 

[nakedginger]

And father figure isn’t necessarily associated with a comforting, mature guidance, for all of us.

Yes, of course sadly.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I had to laugh at "father figure" and "please parents" because earlier this week I had a discussion about how I dislike my parents being bossy and demanding, but had no problem if my SO was.

I've never thought of any of my DD as a father figure, really. This requires more thought.

 

[nakedginger]

I had to laugh at "father figure" and "please parents" because earlier this week I had a discussion about how I dislike my parents being bossy and demanding, but had no problem if my SO was.

I've never thought of any of my DD as a father figure, really. This requires more thought.

That's interesting and never really though of it like that. I always had a good relationship with my parents and I guess, male authority figures.
This needs some analysis

 

[Oralexplorer]

I had to laugh at "father figure" and "please parents" because earlier this week I had a discussion about how I dislike my parents being bossy and demanding, but had no problem if my SO was.

I've never thought of any of my DD as a father figure, really. This requires more thought.

Ohhh be careful of rabbit holes they can go deep.

 

[Sexy_Singer]

Prior to meeting my ex, I would never have considered this. The terminology felt squicky to me (because I didn’t really understand it at that time), but… He and I had been talking for a while and clearly were compatible and one day he told me this is the dynamic he preferred and asked if I would consider calling him “Daddy.” I was surprised and told him I needed to think about it. I did say yes and it really, really worked for us. The dynamic was a caring and guiding one and nurturing while still being demanding. I loved our relationship and him.

I don’t think I would necessarily seek out Daddy/babygirl again, especially since my partner isn’t into it and I see he and I making it for the rest of our lives. Him not being into it is interesting, though, because a lot of our relationship dynamics are similar to my last. He’s strong, caring, guiding. We don’t have a punishment dynamic. (Which is great, as I am happiest when pleasing my partner and NOT needing to be punished ever, lol).

That's a beautiful share TPH. Thank you.

 

[Littlewolf8258]

Following this thread because the idea of a gentle Dom is intriguing. I also resonated with what you said about it not always being sexual. I don’t have any experience with a D/s dynamic but I’m curious about what this would look like.

 

[wwot40]

Following this thread because the idea of a gentle Dom is intriguing. I also resonated with what you said about it not always being sexual. I don’t have any experience with a D/s dynamic but I’m curious about what this would look like.

It is a dynamic that can be very powerful. I think you will find a lot Daddy/Mommy types fall into this category. It can be much more about mentoring and widening an aperture of thought or desire. Not all D/s is about strict discipline and pain. Does that help?

 

[Littlewolf8258]

It is a dynamic that can be very powerful. I think you will find a lot Daddy/Mommy types fall into this category. It can be much more about mentoring and widening an aperture of thought or desire. Not all D/s is about strict discipline and pain. Does that help?

It does help, thank you.

 

[wwot40]

It does help, thank you.

I am glad!

 

[nakedginger]

Following this thread because the idea of a gentle Dom is intriguing. I also resonated with what you said about it not always being sexual. I don’t have any experience with a D/s dynamic but I’m curious about what this would look like.

I think D/s to many is bondage / discpline and punishments. If we look at other dynamics we have more mentoring and training to serve the Dom/Daddy. This works best as a long-term commitment

 

[Sexy_Singer]

Thank you all for contributing to this thread. I really appreciate it.

 

[Littlewolf8258]

There is such a wide range of DDs simply because each person is different. They each have something that is a core strength.

I won't forget the first time someone asked me what I needed, how they could help me grow as a person. He didn't want to know what turned me one or anything of that nature - and I had to think!

He taught me how to manage my time better, how to list things and go through it - and not beat myself up if something moved to the next day, but not to be lax about it, too.

In a way, it helped me to learn about myself more and to accept myself.

That's just one positive thing.

(I'll have more to say later!)

Oh! Just a reminder. DD/lg isn't incest.

This sounds amazing and kind of helps me narrow down something that I have been searching for but hadn’t found the right words. Thank you for sharing

 

[kyblue12]

I think D/s to many is bondage / discpline and punishments. If we look at other dynamics we have more mentoring and training to serve the Dom/Daddy. This works best as a long-term commitment

I am very recently released from this exact trap. An experience this afternoon brought into focus the possibility of a more gentle, nuturing relationship. I can't say the door is open, but I am definitely considering turning the knob as I learn more and more.

Thank you all in this thread for the open, honest discussion. Since my discovery something about this feels natural and right for me. Your comments are showing me that it is, and how much I need to learn about it.

 

[dawn_of_night]

I am very recently released from this exact trap. An experience this afternoon brought into focus the possibility of a more gentle, nuturing relationship. I can't say the door is open, but I am definitely considering turning the knob as I learn more and more.

Thank you all in this thread for the open, honest discussion. Since my discovery something about this feels natural and right for me. Your comments are showing me that it is, and how much I need to learn about it.

I'm glad to see you here .
I think this is a great place and have seen some well known litster that you can rely on for deeper discussions

 

[kyblue12]

Thank you @dawn_of_night id been here recently and kind of forgot about it. It seems like a good space for DDs and hopefully I can get some good info here.

 

[Strixaluco]

This is an interesting thread, let's give it a little boost.

Maybe the terminolgy puts people off?

It does, many.

I don't call my partner Daddy in any language, not even "Big" (DD/lg is Big/little in Finnish), but a Dom. We'd both be weirded out if I called him Daddy. There's however no confusion over me being a little and him being a Daddy for me. The type of the dynamic and what you call each other don't need to match.

I think D/s to many is bondage / discpline and punishments. If we look at other dynamics we have more mentoring and training to serve the Dom/Daddy. This works best as a long-term commitment

There are so many variations of each - and combinations too. D/s doesn't need to include bondage. DD/lg includes punishments for many. Some do the whole range of BDSM in addition to DD/lg.

In fact, in the beginning the whole range of possibilities can feel overwhelming. How to know what exactly you want, if you haven't even tried yet? And in the beginning there's likely to be a whole lot of experimenting. You can even change your mind over time.


I discovered me being a little just over 3 years ago. I then (less than 3 months later) found my current partner with open eyes, knowing I'd need a Daddy Dom. He was an experienced Dom, but I was his first little.

And Daddies have their limits, too. For him age playing would have been a hard one. Glitter, too... Not issues with me, I just need to be taken care of.

Oh and that's another thing you can run across. Like @barefootgirl69 described, when a little has never had that kind of support, it can be bewildering to suddenly think what you'd even need!

Negative sides? None yet. Some challenges, but no negative sides. Positives? I'll need another post for that...

 

[kyblue12]

I love that post @Strixaluco . My little and I are both new, we are exploring every day, learning every day, and will be for a long time. We also can understand your reticence with the word Daddy. It’s you who gets to define your relationship, not everyone else. she and I are comfortable with and use Daddy, you two are not. It’s beautiful that we all are right.

It has been very eye opening to have the return of support for her as well. Even as Daddy I need her to help me too, just in the way a little can.