The Chrysalis - How much have you changed?

[s'lara]

Searching. Discovery. Experimentation. Evolution. Emergence.

i have done something that i haven't done since i began posting on the BB. i took a look through my posts and was surprised to see my own transformation take place. Oh, it wasn't a dramatic change (no, i didn't stomp in on big Domme boots then kick them off to put on slave chains).

i'm talking about having my views altered a bit to incorporate what i've learned from the people i've encountered. For instance, my thoughts and opinions on "switches" and those who Top/bottom have changed quite a bit. i've become not so narrow minded about what the lifestyle means to me.

But i do have a point.

We change/adapt as a consequence of our interactions. i was wondering how many here believe they have changed as well. If so, what has changed for you?

As a guide, please note the following:

1. my comments are related specifically to this board and your time spent here. i know people undergo changes in their real lives, but i would appreciate comments in relation to how you changed as a result of the things you've read here or the people you've met here.

2. If you feel you haven't changed in any way (perception, thoughts, ideas, viewpoints, r/l changes) then cool with me. i don't need a diatribe on how you haven't been altered one little bit. i am interested in hearing what has changed for you.

3. If you have changed, feel free to talk a bit about it. By no means do you need to provide details, just a short blurb about what has affected you and how.

Thanks in advance.

lara

 

[wolf2002]

I don;t think I have undergone a transformation, because it was all there from the beginning, but I definitely have changed because of this forum...

For me it all started when posted a story on Lit that had been in my head for a long time. It represented a dark, deep fantasy of mine... I labeled it 'BDSM' and even asked for commentary on this board. This gave rise to pretty heavy critisism because the story didn;t have much to do with BDSM (it mainly involved mock rape)...
Some people liked it, others bashed it, but all reactions were constructive and helpful... This made me realise that I had better find out something more about BDSM...

That was the beginning of an exploration that is becoming more intense by the day...

Wolf

PS sorry for the shameless plug

 

[Mr Blonde]

I think the ten weeks participating in this forum have provided some insights into my own behavior and into the thoughts of female submissives. I don't think I have actually been changed, but having a dialogue with others does provide perspective while broadening one's horizons.

Two examples:
1. By reading the posts of so many articulate female submissives, I know have a much better understanding of what my ex-girlfriends were probably feeling at different points of our relationship.

2. I have gotten a better understanding of the BDSM world in general, plus lots of interesting stuff about the mindset of dommes compared to doms.

 

[Desdemona]

I've changed a hell of alot. I started out scared and almost driven to explore my submissiveness while lurking in the early days of the old thread on the How To board. I read and lurked and read some more. Finally, I worked up the courage to start posting and interacting with others.

My limits have expanded and I've become much more open to trying new kinks.

I learned how to be safe when meeting people in real life which allowed me to progress from a skin to skin perspective.

When I first started, it was all about sexual submission. Now, it's about submission on many different levels. I would never have gone this route without the interactions on this board.

I'm still evolving. Its a pretty interesting journey for me.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I have become more tolerant and take Myself less seriously. I have learned that I have more patience than I ever thought I had and have discovered biting One's own tongue can be a good thing occassionally. The friendships here have kept Me inspired and intrigued.
I still live a formal D/s lifestyle as that is My choice, I still take My slave deeper and deeper into his submission. Inside My home I take Myself as seriously as ever and My tolerance has not lessened.

 

[Roxy_Rocks]

I find that I am constantly changing and evolving. I keep pushing my limits further and further, until maybe I won't have any limits?

 

[Ebonyfire]

I have become less patient with bullshit, and less tolerant of whiners and wannabes.

I do not like My time wasted. However, I appreciate honesty and candor.

My sense of humor is intact, but I reserve it for the times that suit Me. I find that I am meeting submissives who are more to My liking now that I am more focused.

I am encouraging friendships with like minded people who do not require a group think mentality.

 

[s'lara]

I don;t think I have undergone a transformation, because it was all there from the beginning, but I definitely have changed because of this forum...

For me it all started when posted a story on Lit that had been in my head for a long time. It represented a dark, deep fantasy of mine... I labeled it 'BDSM' and even asked for commentary on this board. This gave rise to pretty heavy critisism because the story didn;t have much to do with BDSM (it mainly involved mock rape)...
Some people liked it, others bashed it, but all reactions were constructive and helpful... This made me realise that I had better find out something more about BDSM...

That was the beginning of an exploration that is becoming more intense by the day...

Wolf

PS sorry for the shameless plug

i can appreciate your happening onto BDSM in that way. i think it's cool that you are pursuing the interest and hope you are doing it safely and enjoying it.

No problem on the plug ... have to get one in when you can.

lara

 

[s'lara]

<snip>I have become more tolerant and take Myself less seriously. I have learned that I have more patience than I ever thought I had and have discovered biting One's own tongue can be a good thing occassionally. The friendships here have kept Me inspired and intrigued.<snip>

First of all, welcome back Lady. i'm sure the sentiment about Your return being a happy occasion has been expressed, so i will only provide an emphatic ditto.

You make an excellent point in regard to tolerance and depth of self-seriousness. i am sure that You are the better for it in that You no longer allow things of a fleeting nature to twist Your world nor do You seem to find it necessary to engage in the unecessary.

As far as the friendships ... that is exactly what they should do. Inspire. Challenge. Great reasons for long and satisfying connections.

Finally, it is good to hear things are well with You and Yours.

lara

 

[SubChristy]

i feel i have changed some...in the short time that i have been here. i have been tring to search for information into my desires as a submissive...and have finally found what i am looking for...thanks to some wonderful friends. thank you all for being so kind and helpful in my journey

 

[cellis]

I cannot even begin to describe the changes that I have undergone in the last 2 years.

Like Des... I truely thought that this was all about sexual submission in the beginning... I have found over the course of time that my submission encompasses many levels... some I am better at than others.

I too looked back at the past... and saw where I started.. and for the the most part it was on the old Mother thread and How To board and alt.com...'

What I know today is so much more than I ever hoped to find in the past... I have gone way beyond where I thought He could have ever taken me...

 

[s'lara]

<snip>What I know today is so much more than I ever hoped to find in the past... I have gone way beyond where I thought He could have ever taken me... <snip>

That is exactly the point cellis. Without forward movement, stagnation just sets in. i am glad to hear you found what you were looking for and much more. i think your He and you have the right idea ... continuous growth. Cheers.

lara

 

[Quint]

I've become both more reckless and more cautious.

I started off without firm ideas of what D/s was; those expanded into a rather puffy ego and moral indignation if someone (myself included) was outside "healthy D/s." I was valiant on the "abuse vs. BDSM" battlefield and skeptical about the mere possibility of a no-limits slave--we are, after all, people first.

This grew into a much more open, flexible, "this is just how I live" sort of code. Especially with the help of the Topopolis crew, my fear of "doing baaaad BDSM" has faded. I find this route much more exhilarating than conventional "tie me down and give me sensation, not pain" D/s, as does T. I've found a core within me that reacts quite positively to violence, and I like it.

At the same time, I'm much more aware of the risks I put myself at now than I ever was before. Hence no more choking--although the next trend I see myself in is to reevaluate why it is preferable to live a "safe" life rather than an enjoyable one.

 

[Netzach]

Every month I care less and less how other people might choose to label me or what I do.

I find a breath of fresh air in the postings on Topopolis, even though this SM Noir badass kind of thing is more about how I think and less about how I play, it's enjoyable to see people shoot from the hip.

I take myself less seriously, I worry about making a mis-step less. I'm not embarrassed about nor am I evangelical about my own extremely SSC consistent feelings about SM. If you want to play way the hell out on the edges, it's your body it's your kink, I'm not going to club you over the head, just don't expect me to play with you, either.

I've grown out of trying to bottom much anymore, but I'm not totally opposed either. It's kind of like pickled herring. Sometimes I might have some.

I love humiliating a guy as much as I ever did, but I feel more of a maturing pull of guilt and entanglement, and it's harder for me to trust enough to do it.

 

[Krinaia]

It's difficult for me to seperate the growth that happened because of reading here at Lit, posting here, discussions with those in the lifestyle outside of Lit, and other explorations I conducted on the web.... But, I would say that Lit has had a very positive influence on my growth.

I began quietly, reading stories. I knew I was attracted to submissive/dominant roleplay but I had no idea how deeply that ran. Soon, I took it upon myself to explore other sites online, particularly those discussing bondage. By the time I found the bulletins here at Lit, I was fairly well educated. Problem was, I lacked practice. I think that reading what others had to say here, gave me the courage to overcome my fears and take those "real life steps". Once I had done that, I had the courage to begin posting.

One thing in particular that the discussion boards helped me through was anal sex. I did not know how to handle the mixed emotions regarding anal sex. I was unable to enjoy it because I let the taboos regarding anal sex to get in my way. Reading in the how to section along with here on the BDSM boards, helped me to accept my pleasure in anal play. I now own a plug and have worn it in public once or twice.

I went from a virgin with no experience, to a woman comfortable in her sensuality.

 

[Quint]

One thing in particular that the discussion boards helped me through was anal sex. I did not know how to handle the mixed emotions regarding anal sex. I was unable to enjoy it because I let the taboos regarding anal sex to get in my way. Reading in the how to section along with here on the BDSM boards, helped me to accept my pleasure in anal play. I now own a plug and have worn it in public once or twice.

That's something I didn't even remember. I used to be completely anti-anal. Thought "what the hell would I get out of that, I don't even like a single finger in there!" A combination of Literotica and real life stories wooed me into trying it. A year and a half later...

 

[Never]

189 = $ .25
92 = $ .10
395 = $ .05

 

[s'lara]

189 = $ .25
92 = $ .10
395 = $ .05

Never,

Should i ask about the about the cents value above? Or should i leave it in its mystery?

lara

 

[Croctden]

Mainly I've become more detail oriented. Nothing like someone asking you a question and struggling to explain something you just do reflexively.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Mainly I've become more detail oriented. Nothing like someone asking you a question and struggling to explain something you just do reflexively.

Chuckling ... amen to that struggle, but what a show when you get lightning in the bottle.

As to the detail? There's nothing like a moment's reflection to compose what you want to say here versus that odd 5 to 10 second silence in a face to face conversation.

Endless possiblities crystallized into something unique.