The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

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and a nude day is always a good day isn't it?

I put in a fresh batch of margarita's complete with little umbrella's..

and the rains come, leaving us all soaked, but, mercifully, the little umbrellas protected the margaritas.

I put in a wet t-shirtless contest...
 
and the rains come, leaving us all soaked, but, mercifully, the little umbrellas protected the margaritas.

I put in a wet t-shirtless contest...

and, it's not only the t-shirts that were wet and removed.

I put in a very excited line up of judges.
 
and they get all wet just looking.

I put in a post-contest victory orgy...oops, sorry, I meant 'party'...

and, you hear the hostess say, "Narratore, party of sex, I mean, party of six, you can take your grope to the back room, I mean, you can take your group to the room in the back. Enjoy the appetizers."

I put in a course of simple pleasures.
 
and, you hear the hostess say, "Narratore, party of sex, I mean, party of six, you can take your grope to the back room, I mean, you can take your group to the room in the back. Enjoy the appetizers."

I put in a course of simple pleasures.

and each dish delights the gourmet.

I put in an assortment of herbs and spices...
 
and you get a hand sewn camel hide first base-mans glove

I put in a rain delay, and a tarp across the infield

... and a couple sneaks under it when no one is looking.

I put in a referee calling, "You're safe!"
 
... and a couple sneaks under it when no one is looking.

I put in a referee calling, "You're safe!"

Lol, and you get a third base UMPIRE looking at you with his mad face! Hahaha!

I put in a home plate Ump calling, "Cutey! Your Out!"
 
Lol, and you get a third base UMPIRE looking at you with his mad face! Hahaha!

I put in a home plate Ump calling, "Cutey! Your Out!"

and you get an ump holding his rump when I kick him in the ass. :mad:

I put in some peanuts and cracker jack...
 
and you get an ump holding his rump when I kick him in the ass. :mad:

I put in some peanuts and cracker jack...

Hahaha!watch it ump, cutey means biziness!

I put in a little plastic yorkie dog, from the cracker jacks box
 
Hahaha!watch it ump, cutey means biziness!

I put in a little plastic yorkie dog, from the cracker jacks box

and you get a red plaid scarf

I put in a pair of rose colored glasses
 
and you get a red plaid scarf

I put in a pair of rose colored glasses

and, you see trees of green... red roses, too... and you think to yourself... what a wonderful world.

I put in a beautiful day for U 2.
 
and the sounds of the Dragon Lady are heard for miles. . . .

I put in a really aggressive bronchial cough.

and, you are going to get quarantined for a week to ten days in the next rocket going to the moon. Bye bye. See ya. Have fun!

I put in a peaceful night's rest for everyone!
 
and, you are going to get quarantined for a week to ten days in the next rocket going to the moon. Bye bye. See ya. Have fun!

I put in a peaceful night's rest for everyone!

and you get yowling cats outside your window at 3 am

I put in a tractor tire tube
 
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