The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

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and the machine says, "Give it to me straight. I don't need any sugar coating; I can take the truth."

I put in a drama queen...

and, I can tell you the bear was this big and he had ferocious looking teeth. He seemed to be about ten feet tall when he stood on his hind legs and my legs couldn't carry me fast enough, so I jumped into the brook and swam across and he must have lost my scent. I sat and just rested on a log, trying to catch my breath. My clothes were wet and clung to every curve of my body. My nipples could be seen through my sheer linen blouse. But, I made it home. I'm fine.

I put in a white towel.
 
and, I can tell you the bear was this big and he had ferocious looking teeth. He seemed to be about ten feet tall when he stood on his hind legs and my legs couldn't carry me fast enough, so I jumped into the brook and swam across and he must have lost my scent. I sat and just rested on a log, trying to catch my breath. My clothes were wet and clung to every curve of my body. My nipples could be seen through my sheer linen blouse. But, I made it home. I'm fine.

I put in a white towel.

and the bear hurries over, thinking you've finally surrendered.

I put in Davy Crockett's Brown Bess...
 
and Bascom Lamar Lunford's spirit seranades you with his version of Li'l Margaret.

I put in a Foggy Mountain Breakdown...

and, it can be heard all the way to the Kentucky bluegrass hills.

I put in a natural bridge (a small vending machine size souvenir).
 
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