The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[kimbalee]

and two little brown eyes *blink* at you behind a mountain of other items,

I put in a handful of minced carrot to lure them out of hiding

and you get a big hug

I put in a copy of "The Boxcar Children"

 

[Austin8]

and you get a big hug

I put in a copy of "The Boxcar Children"

and boxcar willie sings train songs

I put in a little bunny to keep the hedgehogs Bread and Jam company

 

[kimbalee]

and boxcar willie sings train songs

I put in a little bunny to keep the hedgehogs Bread and Jam company

I love baby bunnies! (I know, big surprise, huh?)

and you get a bunch more carrots so you can shred some more for them.

I put in a request for the machine to give you a Salad Shooter to make your job easier...

 

[Austin8]

I love baby bunnies! (I know, big surprise, huh?)

and you get a bunch more carrots so you can shred some more for them.

I put in a request for the machine to give you a Salad Shooter to make your job easier...

and it's salad for all you varmints! Tat-tat-atat-ata-tat!

I put in a potato cannon

 

[kimbalee]

and it's salad for all you varmints! Tat-tat-atat-ata-tat!

I put in a potato cannon

and you get a pumpkin chucker.

I put in a few pumpkin plants hoping for a bumper crop...

 

[Austin8]

and you get a pumpkin chucker.

I put in a few pumpkin plants hoping for a bumper crop...

and vines completely cover the machine and charley browns voice can be heard summoning the Great Pumpkin

I put in a pumpkin pie pumpkin bread pumpkin empanadas pumpkin juice shooters and pumpkin spice muffins

 

[kimbalee]

and vines completely cover the machine and charley browns voice can be heard summoning the Great Pumpkin

I put in a pumpkin pie pumpkin bread pumpkin empanadas pumpkin juice shooters and pumpkin spice muffins

and you get back pumpkin cookies with cream cheese icing and a pecan half on the top.

I put in an empty wash tub for you to fill with a butterfly garden...

 

[Austin8]

and you get back pumpkin cookies with cream cheese icing and a pecan half on the top.

I put in an empty wash tub for you to fill with a butterfly garden...

but first you get a old fashioned country wash tub scrubbin

I put in one of those netty scrunchy thingies to use in the wash tub

 

[kimbalee]

but first you get a old fashioned country wash tub scrubbin

I put in one of those netty scrunchy thingies to use in the wash tub

and you get pomegranate mango bath and shower gel.

I put in a rubber duckie...

 

[Austin8]

and you get pomegranate mango bath and shower gel.

I put in a rubber duckie...

and I sing a song while I wash your... "Ruber Ducky your the one... you make bath time oh so much fun...

I putin a nice Corona eGrip tool for you to use, to... to... plant stuff yeah thats it plant stuff!

 

[kimbalee]

and I sing a song while I wash your... "Ruber Ducky your the one... you make bath time oh so much fun...

I putin a nice Corona eGrip tool for you to use, to... to... plant stuff yeah thats it plant stuff!

and you get a kick in the pants!

I put in an empty wash tub with the contents dumped over your head...

 

[Austin8]

and you get a kick in the pants!

I put in an empty wash tub with the contents dumped over your head...

Ha! as long as it's empty then Im ok

I put in a big ol can of whup ass

 

[kimbalee]

Ha! as long as it's empty then Im ok

I put in a big ol can of whup ass

that will get used on you, soon.

I put in a new writing tablet for you to use to write in 100 times :

I will behave myself when referring to my "business," my "junk," my "equipment," and my "tool..."

 

[Austin8]

that will get used on you, soon.

I put in a new writing tablet for you to use to write in 100 times :

I will behave myself when referring to my "business," my "junk," my "equipment," and my "tool..."

and you get an erotic story about a landscaper and a flower girl

I put in some of MY old *JUNK* I found in the closet! Lol Like that post!

 

[kimbalee]

and you get an erotic story about a landscaper and a flower girl

I put in some of MY old *JUNK* I found in the closet! Lol Like that post!

d'oh! you do NOT listen to instructions. :caning:

and your junk goes out for a garage sale.

I put in a few seed catalogs that look a little questionable...

 

[Austin8]

d'oh! you do NOT listen to instructions. :caning:

and your junk goes out for a garage sale.

I put in a few seed catalogs that look a little questionable...

and it's MY SEED you want to plant! hahahah!

I put in a some smart ass answers for my Cutey!

 

[kimbalee]

and it's MY SEED you want to plant! hahahah!

I put in a some smart ass answers for my Cutey!

and the machine admits that there are a million of them. shithead.

I put in a bazillion and a half questions to keep you busy...

 

[Austin8]

and the machine admits that there are a million of them. shithead.

I put in a bazillion and a half questions to keep you busy...

and I answer them all

I put in a special phone call

 

[kimbalee]

and I answer them all

I put in a special phone call

and the machine asks, "Sir who are you trying to call? I have told you 15 times that there are no qypsies here!"

I put in a post office worker...

 

[Austin8]

and the machine asks, "Sir who are you trying to call? I have told you 15 times that there are no qypsies here!"

I put in a post office worker...

and I ask very pollitely to borrow her pen

I put in a bumper sticker thats says: Honk If Your Horny

 

[kimbalee]

and I ask very pollitely to borrow her pen

I put in a bumper sticker thats says: Honk If Your Horny

and you get one back that says, "Bumper stickers are stoopid."

I put in a can of chicken and dumplings...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get one back that says, "Bumper stickers are stoopid."

I put in a can of chicken and dumplings...

and, finally, there's something good to eat out of the vending machine.

I put in a bottle of cosmopolitan mix.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, finally, there's something good to eat out of the vending machine.

I put in a bottle of cosmopolitan mix.

and suddenly everyone seems so urbane.

I put in an Olmstead plan for a city park...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and suddenly everyone seems so urbane.

I put in an Olmstead plan for a city park...

and, it comes complete with hoops for your dog to jump through.

I put in a plan for a place for pussies to park.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, it comes complete with hoops for your dog to jump through.

I put in a plan for a place for pussies to park.

and the machine turns nostalgic, filled with memories of warm summer nights and soft summer girls on the green meadows of the park

I put in a Ode to Summer Nights...