Strickly online D/s relationships...discuss, share advise

[Iamsubmissive]

Does anyone even know what we were discussing here? I feel like we've all just run amuck...

Let's recap:
There have been a lot of different comparisons of online and RL relationships.
A few opinions were given on age differences.
Racy is too independent and rebellious to be a sub.
Primalex has a fixation with Pippi...kind of.
A short discussion on vulnerability took place.
Several opinions on submissives were given.
I don't think you would be a good waitress if you're too clumsy.
Opinions on opinions were discussed.
Possible knee weakening blowjobs were brought up.
And I am interested to hear more about this Dom/subspace/submission deal.

I'm sure I missed a thing or two in there, but it's been hard to keep up. If anyone would like to add to this discussion just jump in anywhere I guess...

 

[Mrtenant]

Does anyone even know what we were discussing here? I feel like we've all just run amuck...

Let's recap:
There have been a lot of different comparisons of online and RL relationships.
A few opinions were given on age differences.
Racy is too independent and rebellious to be a sub.
Primalex has a fixation with Pippi...kind of.
A short discussion on vulnerability took place.
Several opinions on submissives were given.
I don't think you would be a good waitress if you're too clumsy.
Opinions on opinions were discussed.
Possible knee weakening blowjobs were brought up.
And I am interested to hear more about this Dom/subspace/submission deal.

I'm sure I missed a thing or two in there, but it's been hard to keep up. If anyone would like to add to this discussion just jump in anywhere I guess...

You missed dessert.....

Just some chocolate pie.....award winning, beat 40 other desserts at my office


Chocolate Cream Pie

3/4 cup white sugar
1/3 cup all purpose flour
2 cups half and half
2 squares unsweetened chocolate
3 egg yolks
2 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon real vanilla extract
I baked pie shell
Whipped Cream Topping

Combine sugar, flour, half and half and chopped up chocolate in a saucepan, stir constantly. Cook on medium heat until mixture blends evenly and begins to bubble for about 2 minutes

Mix a little of the hot mixture into the egg yolks, beat them rapidly to avoid cooking the yolks.

Stir the warm yolk mixture into the remainder of the mixture and cook on medium for 90 seconds.

Remove from heat and stir in butter and vanilla.

Pour the filling into the pie shell and chill for two hours. (the pie, not you...you got dishes to do)

Pipe the whipped topping with a cake frosting piping bag on top of the pie. Cover generously and evenly.

Sprinkle with bits of shaved chocolate

 

[KimGordon67]

Oh - someone's been waiting for this. They will be pleased.
(Half the ingredients are a foreign language to me, so I can't do anything with it.)

You missed dessert.....

Just some chocolate pie.....award winning, beat 40 other desserts at my office


Chocolate Cream Pie

3/4 cup white sugar
1/3 cup all purpose flour
2 cups half and half
2 squares unsweetened chocolate
3 egg yolks
2 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon real vanilla extract
I baked pie shell
Whipped Cream Topping

Combine sugar, flour, half and half and chopped up chocolate in a saucepan, stir constantly. Cook on medium heat until mixture blends evenly and begins to bubble for about 2 minutes

Mix a little of the hot mixture into the egg yolks, beat them rapidly to avoid cooking the yolks.

Stir the warm yolk mixture into the remainder of the mixture and cook on medium for 90 seconds.

Remove from heat and stir in butter and vanilla.

Pour the filling into the pie shell and chill for two hours. (the pie, not you...you got dishes to do)

Pipe the whipped topping with a cake frosting piping bag on top of the pie. Cover generously and evenly.

Sprinkle with bits of shaved chocolate

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Farawyn]

I've been called Pippi. Old pic with braids that someone saw and won't let go. I believe it's affectionate...
I don't have red hair or buck teeth.


Yes, RL is better, but here I am with you all. So.

 

[Iamsubmissive]

You missed dessert.....

Just some chocolate pie.....award winning, beat 40 other desserts at my office.

Oh...bless you! Lots of people have been waiting for this. I had almost given up hope! I did get an awesome chocolate cake recipe while I was waiting though. Haven't had a chance to make it yet...still need to shop for some of the ingredients. (I might add one chocolate dipped cherry on a stem to the top just so people can fight over it...I'm a mean tease like that!) Thanks!

 

[Iamsubmissive]

Oh - someone's been waiting for this. They will be pleased.
(Half the ingredients are a foreign language to me, so I can't do anything with it.)

Really? Sugar, flour, unsweetened choc, egg yolks, butter, vanilla, pie crust, and whipped cream are foreign ingredients? I could see half and half maybe not being universal, but the rest? That's stuff I have in my pantry almost all the time.

 

[IslandStyle_44]

You missed dessert.....

Just some chocolate pie.....award winning, beat 40 other desserts at my office

....Pipe the whipped topping with a cake frosting piping bag on top of the pie. Cover generously and evenly.

Setting the bar high. I like it. Were the other 40 submissions worthy competition? j/k

Slight pause - whipped cream topping. Anytime I see "topping", I think of the non-dairy topping (Cool whip). Just want to clarify. I prefer hand whipped but I know you have to treat it differently so it won't separate.

Thanks for the share, mate.

I suppose submissve has different connotations to different people. I don't necessarily consider a certain position or certain act submissive or dominant. You can put a spin on almost any position or act.

Yeah, I'm having a hard time with this one as there no meaningful qualifiers to it. I presume that's what spurred _NecroSomantic's response. I defer to the OED's definition of a Sadist as that's an obvious example to apply to this opinion.

The tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others.

Applying RB's logic: ...one can put a spin on (a Sadist's act on a partner) as submissive (depending on your point of view). I suppose "almost any..." is his out, but barely.

Another option: hit tumblr for (insert act here such as spanking/breath play/deep throat, etc etc) then apply the logic.

 

[KimGordon67]

I suppose submissve has different connotations to different people. I don't necessarily consider a certain position or certain act submissive or dominant. You can put a spin on almost any position or act.

If your head is hanging off the end of a bed and someone is standing over you with their cock down your throat and their hand around your neck, I guess you could say they're not 'dominant' ... but I do think it would be a tough call.
I'm just saying I still feel that I have power in that context.

 

[Primalex]

These "I'm not submissive, I just enjoy submitting" discussions remind me of those "Dude, I'm not gay, I just like to suck other guy's cock and feel their cock in my ass." discussions.

 

[barefootgirl69]

These "I'm not submissive, I just enjoy submitting" discussions remind me of those "Dude, I'm not gay, I just like to suck other guy's cock and feel their cock in my ass." discussions.

*claps hands and laughs!*

 

[KimGordon67]

These "I'm not submissive, I just enjoy submitting" discussions remind me of those "Dude, I'm not gay, I just like to suck other guy's cock and feel their cock in my ass." discussions.

There's some interesting research to be done there. You can enjoy same sex behaviour without adopting the identity of 'gay man'. (And indeed you can be a gay man even if you're not having sex.) similarly, I think you can enjoy submissive behaviour without identifying as 'a sub'.
I do, however, think it's a bit silly to enjoy homosexual sex while also being homophobic. But of course, that still happens.

 

[RuneBlade]

Hello! Just to get as many views as we can, care to share how you would define a submissive? Only if you want to!

Eh, I doubt my definition would be eloquent enough to capture everything, and certainly no more or less valid than any other's definition, so I'm not sure of the usefulness. But... I did poke my toe in the pool, so I'll bite.

I would say that a submissive is a person who meets the following criteria, more or less:

• they identify themselves as a submissive (I feel this is key. Is this using the definition to define the term? Hmph.)
• they tend to prefer delegating control over themselves and/or the situations they put themselves in to others
• they may put the needs of others above their own, for one reason or another

Yes, RL is better, but here I am with you all. So.

I'll drink to that.

If your head is hanging off the end of a bed and someone is standing over you with their cock down your throat and their hand around your neck, I guess you could say they're not 'dominant' ... but I do think it would be a tough call.
I'm just saying I still feel that I have power in that context.

Granted, that specific scenario is hard to spin another way. I just wouldn't go so far as to say that giving a blowjob is a submissive act, which I thought you were insinuating.

 

[KimGordon67]

Eh, I doubt my definition would be eloquent enough to capture everything, and certainly no more or less valid than any other's definition, so I'm not sure of the usefulness. But... I did poke my toe in the pool, so I'll bite.

I would say that a submissive is a person who meets the following criteria, more or less:

• they identify themselves as a submissive (I feel this is key. Is this using the definition to define the term? Hmph.)
• they tend to prefer delegating control over themselves and/or the situations they put themselves in to others
• they may put the needs of others above their own, for one reason or another

I'll drink to that.



Granted, that specific scenario is hard to spin another way. I just wouldn't go so far as to say that giving a blowjob is a submissive act, which I thought was what you were insinuating.

Good lord no

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Yes, RL is better, but here I am with you all. So.

.....

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Who said online cannot satisfy

....

 

[Farawyn]

....

Oh, Honeylicious! I do love you.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[TheSilverLining]

I'm sure I missed a thing or two in there, but it's been hard to keep up. If anyone would like to add to this discussion just jump in anywhere I guess...

Faraway said something about all submissives in a box and I'm afraid my mind took it here.

But now I want chocolate cream pie....and my oven is broken.
Oh! Pre-baked pie cases!

 

[Iamsubmissive]

Faraway said something about all submissives in a box and I'm afraid my mind took it here.

But now I want chocolate cream pie....and my oven is broken.
Oh! Pre-baked pie cases!

That link made me laugh. I've seen a similar pic with a glass box. Now I'm imagining a Dom sorting through the box of subs like it's a sock drawer...just tossing them around until he finds the one he's looking for

 

[Iamsubmissive]

Eh, I doubt my definition would be eloquent enough to capture everything, and certainly no more or less valid than any other's definition, so I'm not sure of the usefulness. But... I did poke my toe in the pool, so I'll bite.

I would say that a submissive is a person who meets the following criteria, more or less:

• they identify themselves as a submissive (I feel this is key. Is this using the definition to define the term? Hmph.)
• they tend to prefer delegating control over themselves and/or the situations they put themselves in to others
• they may put the needs of others above their own, for one reason or another

You know, after I posed the question of the definition of a submissive I thought about how I would define it. And I came up blank...so many things 'could' describe the term but also not necessarily be true. So I'm gonna go with the first item on this list: they identify themselves as submissive (Hey! I fit that criteria )...someone with the desire to submit to another? Someone who is willing to give up part or all of their control in a given situation? Someone who receives fulfillment or pleasure by pleasing another? I don't know what statement would fit all...

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[RuneBlade]

That link made me laugh. I've seen a similar pic with a glass box. Now I'm imagining a Dom sorting through the box of subs like it's a sock drawer...just tossing them around until he finds the one he's looking for

Haha. This would make a great comic panel.

 

[RuneBlade]

You know, after I posed the question of the definition of a submissive I thought about how I would define it. And I came up blank...so many things 'could' describe the term but also not necessarily be true. So I'm gonna go with the first item on this list: they identify themselves as submissive (Hey! I fit that criteria )...someone with the desire to submit to another? Someone who is willing to give up part or all of their control in a given situation? Someone who receives fulfillment or pleasure by pleasing another? I don't know what statement would fit all...

I was getting a little involved in the local kink community at one point, going to munches and exploring fetlife. I was keenly aware of the need for labels in that community. I hate being stuffed into a box with a label as much as anyone, and tend to try and not use them, but it does seem to give people a common ground and an idea on how best to communicate with the individuals around them. And they were a quick way to identify if someone had the potential to be a playmate or partner.

Necessary evil, I suppose. It seems that's what you're running into here. There are few catch all traits that make someone a submissive. You can get 10 subs in a room, and it could be amazing how different they all are. So in the end, how useful is the term submissive? It's very broad.

In some senses, saying you're looking for a submissive is about as useful as "I'm looking for a woman". It's all the particulars that make the difference, the reasons behind the behaviors as much or more as the behaviors themselves.

 

[cascadiabound]

[...] Necessary evil, I suppose. It seems that's what you're running into here. There are few catch all traits that make someone a submissive. You can get 10 subs in a room, and it could be amazing how different they all are. So in the end, how useful is the term submissive? It's very broad.

In some senses, saying you're looking for a submissive is about as useful as "I'm looking for a woman". It's all the particulars that make the difference, the reasons behind the behaviors as much or more as the behaviors themselves.

For the win. Thank you RuneBlade.