Straight men who've suffered from insecurity or an inferiority complex due to penis size...

[JudyCD]

I’d be glad to boost someone’s ego who is suffering from small cock inferiority complex.

 

[Jonnymc]

Didn't matter how big your dick is or was or will be. The tool you have is just that, if the tools get dirty and rusty they are not desired. Remember to clearly treat your tool like a tool. There are many things that can be done to ensure a healthy size, muscles need exercise and care to focus on performance control. Also remember to squeeze those two but checks at the end of every pump the sphincter pumps lots of blood and if you are not focusing on the right things does not matter the size performance will fail. Not all women want a 9 inch cock even if you have to give it to her three times, LoL just like not all men want a big booty or double d breasts.

 

[pink]

I'd rather have a small working one than to have a dick that doesn't work or is somehow not right.

I didn't word that well but I hope y'all understand.

 

[lc69hunter]

I know this can also be a source of erotic excitement, for some men in some contexts, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about when you just feel like giving up, as far as competing with other men for women's sexual desire, because you know so many men have bigger dicks, and more than a few have very big dicks. Or, if you're already in a relationship, you go through that thought process that's guaranteed to make you feel useless sexually--you start wondering about some of the dicks your woman has had previously.
My question is this...I have found, pretty consistently, that I start having these feelings whenever I'm feeling poorly about myself in general, when my self-image isn't doing too well. The two go hand in hand. Is that what happens with you guys?

That is for the most part, a porn generated issue. Five inches ( I have seven) can satisfy a woman if he knows what he is doing. That being said, my second wife, and several long term lovers, equated a large cock to a decadent dessert. Great to have occasionally, but would not want as a full time diet thereof.

 

[Jonnymc]

It's kinda funny to hear all this and also is a fact of life the guy with the 15 inch dong that requires so much blood pressure and donde never get rock solid for insertion having a large cock like a wet noodle still has insecurities with his performance as he should for men it is all about composition, 15 inches long but bendy like a mountain road and always pointing down, then there is the flip side to the guy who is competing with a not so large cock at below average so he has doubts but is always ready to please and point rock solid and he too will have insecurities this is why men are selfish at heart instead of enjoying the moment and focusing on working everything he can with his body to please his partner he is focused on what he does not have to share or give,,, men are givers and they always want to give more,,, .... Also I find a lesson in time cause when we where all young and got to that point in life where we got the opportunity to use our tool who cared about the size performance

That is for the most part, a porn generated issue. Five inches ( I have seven) can satisfy a woman if he knows what he is doing. That being said, my second wife, and several long term lovers, equated a large cock to a decadent dessert. Great to have occasionally, but would not want as a full time diet thereof.

Well said, it is sad to hear that men have body issues with this topic like , guys I know we look at our own but to a woman they look weird and are not attractive they do not hold it in high regard like we do with tits or ass.

 

[lovecraft68]

I see these guys all over the comments section on you tube. They subscribe to incel channels like Better Bachelor where the new schtick is to pretend they're single by choice.

They also show up in any clip involving a woman fight scene where the fact that even in a fiction a woman can be a bad ass makes them butthurt.

 

[Pairaclities]

Can’t remember where I saw this but I found out I’m hung like a horse.
An average horse is 1000 lbs and has a 20” dick. That’s 50 lbs per inch.
I’m 200 lbs so I only need 4” to be hung like a horse!!

 

[policywank]

If this guy posted this in isolation, I'd be inclined to have some sympathy for him, but he's posted numerous threads that shine a different light on his character.

I remember a thread from a woman on Lit asking people's views on having breast augmentation. Plenty of men pitched in saying 'it didn't matter' but they got criticised by women saying it wasn't for men to decide or advise or offer opinion. Maybe dick size should be a matter for guys to discuss since our opinion is pertinent or welcome? I'd be happy to sit on my hands.
*sits on metaphorical hands
*phew that's better

That is probably for the best. Although I feel as though the thread on breast augmentation was seeking the female perspective as much if not more so than the male perspective. And women really can stick mainly to what we think about the topic. But when it comes to penis size it is also mainly about what women think or what guys think about what women think. Mostly guys endlessly rationalizing why it doesn't matter but never quite believing it.

 

[Pairaclities]

That is probably for the best. Although I feel as though the thread on breast augmentation was seeking the female perspective as much if not more so than the male perspective. And women really can stick mainly to what we think about the topic. But when it comes to penis size it is also mainly about what women think or what guys think about what women think. Mostly guys endlessly rationalizing why it doesn't matter but never quite believing it.

Well, I think this is a great comment, and a quite perceptive final comment. Now, I am also somewhat puzzled/intrigued to ask a question.

Let’s suppose a woman meets a man and is pleased and happy with his personality, and they go on some dates - possibly movies and dinners or events etc., and after some of these it leads to the sexual. Now, on discovery of this man having a smaller penis than she desires, she decides that she can not be long term happy with that size, but, as has been posted by women on this site, she has the sex and then moves on.

The question is, if a woman feels the personality and intellectual connection with the man, would she accept the artificial penis (strap-on) route as an acceptable way to be satisfied - perhaps not every session - but when needed? I wonder this due to the amount of people that use these devices regularly; in particular to compensate for ED, in the lesbian world, some of the LGBT world, etc. but can it really replace the natural?

Just curious for opinions from the women in the know.

 

[Pairaclities]

I like it.

 

[FuntimeXXX]

I know this can also be a source of erotic excitement, for some men in some contexts, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about when you just feel like giving up, as far as competing with other men for women's sexual desire, because you know so many men have bigger dicks, and more than a few have very big dicks. Or, if you're already in a relationship, you go through that thought process that's guaranteed to make you feel useless sexually--you start wondering about some of the dicks your woman has had previously.
My question is this...I have found, pretty consistently, that I start having these feelings whenever I'm feeling poorly about myself in general, when my self-image isn't doing too well. The two go hand in hand. Is that what happens with you guys?

I am sorry you're feeling so sad and down on yourself. I am 50 female and never in my entire life can I think of a single instance of ever hearing of a woman leaving a man for the size of his dick. I dont recall every hearing a friend discuss it. Maybe its a generation difference Idk, i didn't look at your age. I have known men to leave women for larger tits or smaller ass, too many to count. Women as a species in general dont think in those terms. Not if there are feelings involved. If its just a FWB or bootie call situation maybe. But a woman that loves her man will absolutely not leave him because his dick is small, or horrifying huge. Chances are she lost her feelings for you and/or she deliberately wanted to hurt you and used something she knew would hurt your most. She played on your insecurities, most likey to make herself feel like less of a piece of shit for dumping you. I cant explain why women do some of the shit we do, especially in our youth. If she just didnt have feelings for you, it would have been kinder to just be honest. Some people just like to go out thinking they won...

 

[policywank]

Well, I think this is a great comment, and a quite perceptive final comment. Now, I am also somewhat puzzled/intrigued to ask a question.

Let’s suppose a woman meets a man and is pleased and happy with his personality, and they go on some dates - possibly movies and dinners or events etc., and after some of these it leads to the sexual. Now, on discovery of this man having a smaller penis than she desires, she decides that she can not be long term happy with that size, but, as has been posted by women on this site, she has the sex and then moves on.

The question is, if a woman feels the personality and intellectual connection with the man, would she accept the artificial penis (strap-on) route as an acceptable way to be satisfied - perhaps not every session - but when needed? I wonder this due to the amount of people that use these devices regularly; in particular to compensate for ED, in the lesbian world, some of the LGBT world, etc. but can it really replace the natural?

Just curious for opinions from the women in the know.

I don't think that I would see it as a full and true substitute for a real penis. But I also think that most women understand that there will always be trade-offs with a prospective partner. If we are really into a guy we are likely open to compromise. As a result, the artificial route might be an acceptable, albeit imperfect, substitute for a woman inclined to make a legitimate trade-off.

However, I do wonder how many couples would actually pursue this route because in order to do so does require acknowledgement that she wants more than what he can offer. I think the biggest hurdle is often simply accepting that premise. Broadly speaking the expectation is usually that the woman must feed the narrative that size doesn't matter. As a result, the mental/emotional aspects of acknowledging that she would prefer a larger penis can have a seriously negative affect on their sex life.

 

[Pairaclities]

I think you nailed that perspective. I guess it would take a man that can accept he has limitations without ego and participate as required. Maybe he doesn’t exist, or is very rare based on your comment.

 

[policywank]

I think you nailed that perspective. I guess it would take a man that can accept he has limitations without ego and participate as required. Maybe he doesn’t exist, or is very rare based on your comment.

I think that such men do exist but I don't feel as though I can really assess how rare they are. Certainly the anecdotal evidence is that when the topic comes up there is a rush (from men and women) to rationalize the premise that size doesn't matter, silence or marginalize anybody who says otherwise or generally deflect the matter. The subject gives rise to such sensitivities and insecurities that most women are very hesitant to bring it up. There are some men who would be receptive, but the risk that they won't be and the potential reaction is just not worth the risk for most women. As a result, women self-censor ourselves on the topic so a lot of men who might be receptive are never given the opportunity.

The cognitive dissonance around this topic is comparatively extreme. The best example I can think of is the way men will say "I've never had any complaints." Think about the layers of hostility and shame women face for diminishing a man's sexual performance or virility, not to mention the inclination to not hurt his feelings. It is actually pretty absurd to think that any woman would complain or that lack of a complaint means she was fully satisfied.

I know that sometimes women do say negative things but that is usually for vindictive or defensive reasons. Whether justified or not it didn't just arise out of nothing. Chances are we felt insulted or mistreated and our negative comment was retaliation. Reality is that the vast majority of times that women are unsatisfied for whatever reason we say nothing. We may give the guy another shot or we might just move on. But except as noted above we have zero interest in stopping at the complaints department and inviting hostility from an insecure man.

I don't say that to be mean, just to illustrate that cognitive dissonance that is so pervasive and serves to keep men from even considering any unflattering possibilities.

 

[Pairaclities]

Well said.

 

[Ray Roberts]

I wonder if some of the insecurity is fed by the propensity for denial among men. I am not trying to take a cheap shot. I mean this sincerely. Every time this topic comes up, men and some women rush to find ways to say that penis size doesn't matter or that if it does the other aspects of a person's being can compensate so as to neutralize it as a consideration.

But the points they make are never fully convincing. Like saying women prefer a great guy with an average dick to a jerk with a big dick. Sub-consciously you now that is an example contrived to make you feel better because the real gauge of whether it matters is whether a woman prefers a great guy to have an average dick or a big dick. Or guys pull out statistics to prove that their dick is average. Again sub-consciously you know those average are skewed down by a worldwide sample and even if they weren't you know that most women aren't seeking average in anything.

The truth is that yes some women do prefer a larger penis. It probably isn't as important to us as most guys worry it is. But it isn't utterly irrelevant and you know it. By trying to convince yourself otherwise you pour enormous psychological energy into maintaining and building this barrier to reality. and every time you feel down or insecure the reality gets past the barrier and delivers a beat down to your ego all over again. By not accepting reality you set yourself up to keep living that experience over and over again.

Consider the female example. Our body parts are scrutinized and commented upon ruthlessly. It is an unavoidable part of our existence. There is no rationale scenario in which we can convince ourselves even for a moment that men don't care about several different aspects of our physical being. Sometimes it gets us down. But if I had to spend time building up a false world in which no guy ever cared about their size of my tits or the shape of my ass I wouldn't have time for anything else in my life and I would probably go insane from the self-delusion. My only rational choice, is to accept it and deal with it.

Men are not scrutinized or critiqued to nearly the same degree, but you do know that women and people in general have preferences in your other physical attributes. You know some women prefer tall men. However you feel about that you know that to be true. If you are a 5'6" man you don't go around making up fantasies and false comparisons to convince yourself that no woman ever preferred tall men. You just seek women for whom that isn't a factor and if she happens to be 5'1" then so be it. Even then she might prefer someone taller (all other things being equal), but on balance you are a good fit and nobody can be the best of everything.

I know that being told to accept yourself as you are and a bunch of other feel good messages is often unhelpful. But in this situation I think it is a bit more straight-forward. Yes some women prefer bigger dicks - it is far from the most important but it is a factor. By all means up your oral sex game but don't pretend it is a substitute. And stop hoping that all guys with bigger dicks are all assholes that would turn a woman off with their personality. Stop it with the distractions and rationalizations. Accept it and move on.

This may also have an ancillary benefit. Guys who are hung up on this usually let it affect their behaviour towards women. Whether it is latent hostility, insecurity or creepy obsequiousness it is unattractive and unsettling. And the latter part is the more relevant. To the extent that a woman doesn't want to be around a man it is usually because they make us uncomfortable more so than because we don't find them attractive.

Men and women are really all the same and can be grouped as being, Small - Medium - Big. So if your measurements are the same, or one removed sexually your coupling should be satisfactory. Its when the two extreme's couple up that problems can arise. So if your fanny is really big, a small dick is never going to satisfy your partner, hence so many men feel inadequate and feel the need to encourage their wife to share with other studs who are hung in the hope that this will quell their partners sexual needs and their partnership can continue. (wife sharing is extremely erotic anyway, even without thoughts that size plays in the interaction) If you don't believe this take a look at the "Loving Wives" readers section, the most popular section on LITEROTICA

 

[Beandip478]

I definitely had one girlfriend leave me cause she wanted a bigger dick, that hurt for sure (and we'd been together a good while). Then I realized, date short women lol. That plus eat the pussy good. As for the feelings well you can actively work to improve in areas that will ensure you're more desirable be that financial, behavioral or physical, after all women are largely attracted to a holestic package not your just dick. Ultimately we all have some insecurities about real or imagined shortcomings so I'd recommend conventional methods to combat anxiety probably apply. Do your hobbies, work on not dwelling on negative thoughts, exercise, etc.

All good advice, and all conclusions I had come to myself. One other thing that took a hundred years to occur to me--dildo and strap-ons! Lesbian women use them on each other, and nowhere is it written that the man in a straight relationship cannot wear a strap-on for those nights when his girlfriend or wife says she wants something bigger. Dildos come in every size, and because it's you who's giving her this pleasure, emotionally and psychologically it remains part of the relationship.

 

[cuck72]

I don't have a really small penis, but it's not as big as a lot of guys that are like 6 + inches. So, I don't know what they go through with their little pee, pee feelings. So, I can see it being hard for them unless they get off on being like a cuckold. I really get excited thinking about other bigger cock guys fucking my wife, so that's my outlet about my 4 1/2" pee, pee. It's natural for your wife or GF to be attracted to other men, or the big cocks. Just like us guys that see a hot looking woman. But I'm lucky where I enjoy being a cuckold and bi, so I can get off thinking of those guys with bigger more manly cocks. We are an older couple now, and my wife has lost most of her sexual desires, but again helps me with having submissive bi cuckold thoughts, so I can still get off thinking of sucking a guy's cock or being denied her pussy because I was her cuckold.

 

[ShandyLeer]

Not small myself, but all the same I adore my partners reaction to seeing really hung guys revealed when were watching porn. Length appeals to her, but what clearly turns her on most is girth.........

 

[policywank]

Men and women are really all the same and can be grouped as being, Small - Medium - Big. So if your measurements are the same, or one removed sexually your coupling should be satisfactory. Its when the two extreme's couple up that problems can arise. So if your fanny is really big, a small dick is never going to satisfy your partner, hence so many men feel inadequate and feel the need to encourage their wife to share with other studs who are hung in the hope that this will quell their partners sexual needs and their partnership can continue. (wife sharing is extremely erotic anyway, even without thoughts that size plays in the interaction) If you don't believe this take a look at the "Loving Wives" readers section, the most popular section on LITEROTICA

I think that different pairings fit together in different ways and for most of us there is a logical counterpart. As with any other aspect of finding a mate it is often about finding the person who is best suited to you. But I haven't found it to be a simple matter of small woman/small man = the right match. There might be some correlation there but there is more to our anatomical and psychological preferences.

Bottomline is that we all have preferences and that is ok. It is incumbent on all of us to accept the fact that people who we find attractive may not reciprocate those feelings. It is not for us to judge why they feel how they feel or to try to change how they feel. Some women do prefer a larger penis - that is our prerogative. How men deal with that should not be our issue.

By the way, I don't know why you say "If you don't believe this....". A simple search would indicate that I have published numerous stories in LW.

 

[Rob_Royale]

I used to have issues with insecurity when I was young and dating. But, it drove me to improve my bedroom skills beyond actual intercourse. I figured there was more than one way to impress a woman in bed. Then I dated a short woman. Apparently not every woman's vagina is the same depth. She'd had a boyfriend who was on the longer side and he just battered the hell out of her cervix. Apparently, that's not comfortable for most ladies. The first time we slept together when I was as deep as I could go, she sighed and said, "Yeah, that's better." Talk about an ego boost.
I'm not quite five inches. But I've been making my wife cum her brains out for 31 years. Become a great lover. Learn how to make her cum. She'll stay.

 

[policywank]

I used to have issues with insecurity when I was young and dating. But, it drove me to improve my bedroom skills beyond actual intercourse. I figured there was more than one way to impress a woman in bed. Then I dated a short woman. Apparently not every woman's vagina is the same depth. She'd had a boyfriend who was on the longer side and he just battered the hell out of her cervix. Apparently, that's not comfortable for most ladies. The first time we slept together when I was as deep as I could go, she sighed and said, "Yeah, that's better." Talk about an ego boost.
I'm not quite five inches. But I've been making my wife cum her brains out for 31 years. Become a great lover. Learn how to make her cum. She'll stay.

I think that we all probably have something to feel insecure about. It usually doesn't mean nearly as much to other people as it does to us. Ideally we are all nice to each other and don't dwell on those things, but ultimately it is up to each of us to deal with it and move on.

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

I am sorry you're feeling so sad and down on yourself. I am 50 female and never in my entire life can I think of a single instance of ever hearing of a woman leaving a man for the size of his dick. I dont recall every hearing a friend discuss it. Maybe its a generation difference Idk, i didn't look at your age. I have known men to leave women for larger tits or smaller ass, too many to count. Women as a species in general dont think in those terms. Not if there are feelings involved. If its just a FWB or bootie call situation maybe. But a woman that loves her man will absolutely not leave him because his dick is small, or horrifying huge. Chances are she lost her feelings for you and/or she deliberately wanted to hurt you and used something she knew would hurt your most. She played on your insecurities, most likey to make herself feel like less of a piece of shit for dumping you. I cant explain why women do some of the shit we do, especially in our youth. If she just didnt have feelings for you, it would have been kinder to just be honest. Some people just like to go out thinking they won...

I actually know of two. Both on the extremes though.

Wife had a college friend that we’d bump into her husband and her out at social events. Didn’t see them for a year or so and when we did, the husband had been replaced with a younger BF. Turns out the husband had a monster cock that made sex painful with this woman. Now I‘m sure there had to have been other circumstances, but it was a factor In his replacement. They remained good friends after.

The other was a girl a GF set up with a friend of mine. He turned out to be on the smaller side. The girl in question was an admitted size queen so anything short of 7-8” she would have turned her nose up at!. In her defense, her first serious BF and the one who took her virginity was well endowed.

Which leads to a question…

I’ve read somewhere our first sexual experience(s) are a kind of roadmap to what we prefer sexually. Whether it be size, type, looks ect…

Any anecdotal evidence out there in the LitUniverse?

 

[policywank]

I actually know of two. Both on the extremes though.

Wife had a college friend that we’d bump into her husband and her out at social events. Didn’t see them for a year or so and when we did, the husband had been replaced with a younger BF. Turns out the husband had a monster cock that made sex painful with this woman. Now I‘m sure there had to have been other circumstances, but it was a factor In his replacement. They remained good friends after.

The other was a girl a GF set up with a friend of mine. He turned out to be on the smaller side. The girl in question was an admitted size queen so anything short of 7-8” she would have turned her nose up at!. In her defense, her first serious BF and the one who took her virginity was well endowed.

Which leads to a question…

I’ve read somewhere our first sexual experience(s) are a kind of roadmap to what we prefer sexually. Whether it be size, type, looks ect…

Any anecdotal evidence out there in the LitUniverse?

I think that it is pretty difficult to come to a provable conclusion about whether cock size is a deal breaker for some women. Even if it is most women aren't going to say so - why go out of your way to hurt someone's feelings and invite other people to judge you for your preference. And I think it is relatively rare that someone's appeal comes down to a single thing like that.

As for the first sexual experience thing I would say that doesn't apply for me. After my first time I was very keen to explore the world of sexual possibilities. The characteristics that made that guy attractive to me are still appealing but I wouldn't say there is any causal relationship there. I fucked a guy I found attractive. The fact that he was my first didn't make him or those characteristics more appealing to me.

 

[OldnCurious]

Statistically I am considered average, however I always wonder if I was bigger in size would my personality or confident level be any different.