Since Emerald...........

[MsTerious]

used my most personal experience of being raped against me, I guess there's no harm in telling you the whole story.

Yes, I, like many, have some psyche problems. After my surgery, my meds went haywire on me and that is why I was so bitchy and on edge, to say the least. I told Laurel about this, and that's why she was so quick to forgive, forget, and move on. NnN has never posted anything without her name, I am not responsible for any of the 'unregistered' posts. I'm honest enough that if I have something to say, I'll say it with my own name. I'm sure you can all see the difference between NnN and MsTerious because now my meds are back on track, and I'm much more calm. MsTerious is the real me, NnN wasn't. I have purposely been posting on the gb now because I wanted to see what you were all about. I have learned that most of you aren't the jerks that I thought you were. I also learned that most of you actually like the real me. So, are we going to continue to be adults and enjoy each other's company? Or is this flaming going to continue?

Fyi, I only changed my name because my personna has changed. Those of you who are saying that by changing my name and not being honest about it is deceitful, and doing so indicates that I think you're stupid, guess who bent over backwards to help me change my name. Laurel has been a very kind, understanding, helpful, and beautiful human being. One thing she is not is stupid or deceiptful. Nor am I.

 

[estevie]

But you played it out even after you came back as a changed person.

I can understand your reluctance to talk about private things. If you would have given anyone a clue that you had private issues, to tell us right out what was going on is not necessary, but once you were figured out, why lie and say she wasn't you? Or for that matter, explain when you registered your new nic what was going on. It would have saved you some grief, don't you think?

Just my opinion.

 

[MsTerious]

Curious and Ladybird, thank you for your kind words in the other thread. You don't know how much that means to me.

If everyone isn't willing to "play nice" I will leave Lit and won't come back with a different name. I really don't want to leave. I've thoroughly enjoyed this past week with you all. Maybe I should have created a poll, but I will base my decision on the responses I get.

 

[MsTerious]

But you played it out even after you came back as a changed person.

I can understand your reluctance to talk about private things. If you would have given anyone a clue that you had private issues, to tell us right out what was going on is not necessary, but once you were figured out, why lie and say she wasn't you? Or for that matter, explain when you registered your new nic what was going on. It would have saved you some grief, don't you think?

Just my opinion.

I did say that I was having problems and asked them to please back off, and they didn't. Why would I have told them about my name change, when the whole point of changing my name was to start with a clean slate? I didn't say anything last night because I was caught offguard, didn't know what to do, and had to sleep on it and decide what I was going to say and do.

 

[brokenbrainwave]

fair enough, I had a gut feeling something was up, you simply knew to much about how the board works.

One last question, if your really NnN, what was it that caused you and I to have a huge arguement?

I am not the trusting type, so please bear with me, thank you.

 

[estevie]

You know, I should apologize. I have no idea what I'm talking about. I've jumped into something that I know nothing about. I didn't know you before the name change, I don't know you now. I know nothing of the history here.



My apologies.

 

[SexyAmber]

Curious and Ladybird, thank you for your kind words in the other thread. You don't know how much that means to me.

If everyone isn't willing to "play nice" I will leave Lit and won't come back with a different name. I really don't want to leave. I've thoroughly enjoyed this past week with you all. Maybe I should have created a poll, but I will base my decision on the responses I get.

Well I don't know anything about of any of this and quite frankly I don't really care to because I like to keep my drama exposure to a minimum however why on earth would any would let other people dictate if you came to lit or not? They don't pay your internet access bill. Make your own decisions.

Just my Opinion
A

 

[MsTerious]

fair enough, I had a gut feeling something was up, you simply knew to much about how the board works.

One last question, if your really NnN, what was it that caused you and I to have a huge arguement?

I am not the trusting type, so please bear with me, thank you.

Does it really matter what caused us to fight? I don't care about that, what I care about is that we've been able not to fight. I've realized that you are a pretty cool guy. I am certainly not too trusting either, hon, so I'll bear with you if you bear with me. Deal?

Geeeez now I've lost all of those posts for nothing!!!

 

[MsTerious]

Estevie, no apology necessary.

Amber, they wouldn't be making any decision for me. I would base my decision on the outcome of this mess. If I am going to be continually flamed, I am not going to stay and deal with that again.

 

[brokenbrainwave]

Does it really matter what caused us to fight? I don't care about that, what I care about is that we've been able not to fight. I've realized that you are a pretty cool guy. I am certainly not too trusting either, hon, so I'll bear with you if you bear with me. Deal?

Geeeez now I've lost all of those posts for nothing!!!

yes I understand what you are saying, however, given my nature and how long I have been on the net, I need you to tell me to prove it (even in pm if you wish).
IF this is the real you, then I will admit, this is a much better version.

save for the damn use of emotes, lol.

 

[MsTerious]

BBW honey, I don't know what you expect me to tell you. I think that this past week is enough evidence that this is the real me. I don't think that with the month I've had, that I should have to prove myself any more then that.

edited to say:
Notice that I've taken this seriously enough to stay away from the emotes! so there

I would also like to point out that Emerald knew about the trouble I was having, both physically and psychologically. For her to continue to badger me while aware of this is just plain ugly.

 

[brokenbrainwave]

ok I am not trying to get under your skin or anything, nor ask you to prove yourself. I am probably one of the more forgive and forget members around. I suppose all I wanted was a shred of evidence that you were NnN, however, if you'd rather leave that in the past, I more than understand.

Handshake?

heh, she never see that joy buzzer I have hidden in my palm

 

[MsTerious]

Oh I see, after trying so hard to prove that I wasn't NnN, now you want me to prove that I was. petition You are not getting under my skin at all hon. You are being very kind and I thank you for that.

Oh, and btw,

I have to go for now. I have an appointment. It'll be interesting to come back (in an hour or so) and read what I missed.

bbs

 

[KillerMuffin]

I'm not a forgive and forget, however I don't hold a grudge against you. I am perfectly ambivelent.

The problem you're going to run into is that whole trust issue. Trust is a very precious commodity online. When one person reads another person's posts they must make a decision whether to believe that person is genuine or false. It takes trust to believe that other people are genuine. Usually we have no trouble giving this trust.

Unfortunately, some people get caught lying. Which you did. You did bluntly state that you were not Naughty and Nice. While you claim that semantically this is true, most people will see that you're one person and you've posted as two people and lied about doing so. Moreover, you claim that the original persona wasn't the real you.

There's some heinous things people can do to each other online. One of the most heinous things is someone pretending to be someone they're not. Which you have just admitted to doing. You--for whatever reason--pretended to be what you're not for quite some time and then decided to change and be the real you. To compound this, you lied about the change when confronted with it.

This isn't something that's going to make the average poster trust you. Most people won't flame you for it because on the whole most people aren't interested in hurting others. However, they will not be quick to believe what you say, either. There will be an element of doubt, is she real? Is she playing a game?

I'm not saying this is an unrectifiable situation. You can overcome the dishonest stigma you've got around you right now. It will, however, take a lot of time, patience, and understanding. And there will be one simple fact of life--you can ask another whose done exactly what you've done--you will be trolled. We have a few cowards around here who will throw this into your face for as long as you're here. If you can't deal with that, then a forum move would be in order.

People don't want to be hurt. Trusting others hurts us. It's very hard to trust a known liar. So far you aren't willing to admit to any mistakes you might have made as possibly hurtful to others and you are not sorry for it other than being caught at it. People may not notice it consciously, but they will notice. I'm not talking about trolls and flamer, I'm talking about the average poster who comes here to have fun and enjoy the place.

There is a right way and a wrong way to behave when you've been caught being dishonest. There's the right way and the politician's way. It's up to you to pick the right way out of the rest.

You are responsible for you own behavior. You are ultimately responsible for whether you enjoy this site or not. People accepting you for who you are is a big help, but that isn't going to happen for a while. You will be forced to prove yourself if you stick around here. If you leave, you can blame trolls and flamers if you like, but they can't force you do to do what you don't want to do.

My advice is to step back for a moment and think about what you have done here as if it were done to you. Give hard thought to how you would feel if you were on the receiving end of your own behavior. If you don't care, you'll find that you won't be forgiven. If you do care, then when you read someone's post to you, bear in mind that to them, you aren't MsTerious. You're NaughtynNice with a new name and a history of dishonesty. This isn't a fun realization and it's not fun to deal with. Don't make excuses for what you did, that will only make things worse.

Another chunk of advice. Be true to yourself and give that same honesty to others. People may not like you--not everyone will--but they will learn to respect you for it. In turn, give back that respect--even if you don't like the person.

I'm not saying this to be flaming or mean. This is the bald-faced truth as I see it. You can do what you like with it or you can ignore it, that's entirely up to you.

 

[sunstruck]

Ok, I understand you have issues, that much is obvious. But I think comming back under a new name was just earsier than apologizing for your behavior. But you seem to have done that, more explanation than apology though. So, while I'll never trust you, or believe anything you say, I am going to leave you to your board expirience. I only as that you steer as clear of me as is reasonably possible and DO NOT do this again.

Thank you.

 

[Guest]

I'm just saying hello to the conflict thread.

Female version is always better. It's bitchy and a lot of back stubbing.

Okay. I'm dancing now.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Spelling Bubba sez:

Stabbing!

 

[brokenbrainwave]

maybe not KM, ya never really know what that little freak means.

 

[busybody..]

MSterious

No one gives a SHIT if you stay, go or commit suicide.

As far as I am concerned YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT and you couldnt SUFFER ENOUGH!

I hope you suffer in agony for the next few decades!






Can I blame it on my meds?

You are a POS!

 

[bluespoke]

Re: MSterious

No one gives a SHIT if you stay, go or commit suicide.

As far as I am concerned YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT and you couldnt SUFFER ENOUGH!

I hope you suffer in agony for the next few decades!






Can I blame it on my meds?

You are a POS!

My aren't we the kind empathetic one.

Hope you're never in constant pain and looking for understanding.

 

[Calamity Jane]

What continually amazes me is that people think just by changing their name, they become someone else. A writing style is awful hard to change, and others recognize it. Changing your name is like changing clothes. You're still the same damn person.

NnN/MsT... you got off on the VERY wrong foot here. Think about it, you came onto the board, flamed Laurel and demanded that people beg you to stay. Then, when Laurel and everyone else explained the rules of the board, you made a huge deal about your graciousness in forgiving Laurel. We all know that's bullshit. You know that's bullshit.

You're going to have to prove yourself. It's not up to us to make you feel comfortable. It's not up to us to make you feel accepted, or wanted or anything else. Stay if you want, go if you want. Most of us probably don't care either way. But don't expect people to believe you until you've shown that you're capable of telling the truth.

 

[MsTerious]

KF, I understand that you aren't flaming me. I understand that there may be a trust issue. However, I also understand that this isn't real life...
The fact of the matter is that you all think that I owe you an apology for my 'behavior'. And I do apologize. However, I feel that you all owe me an apology for the way you dragged me through the mud. I have at least attempted to apologize and explain what happened. Not one of you, with the exception of BBW has owned any of your behavior. Although a good portion of this was my fault, there is a portion that is everyone's elses. Remember, I am one person with a crowd of people telling me off. You're a crowd of people with one person reacting and bitching. You told me to put myself in your shoes, how would I feel if someone did this to me? I don't know how I'd feel. I would never say things like the guy above me did to anyone. And I would realize that this isn't the real world, so what's the big deal. But, I would be a little angry, hurt, and cautious. Perhaps you all should put yourselves in my shoes and imagine how it felt to have so many people saying so many horrible things to me. Especially when my brain wasn't functionally properly. (yes, i understand that you didn't know, but you do now) As I explained above, I was caught offguard, very upset that my rape was used against me again, afraid of what you all would do, and I didn't know how to resond. I had to sleep on it and figure out what I was going to do. Was I going to tell you what happened, or was I going to disappear? I am sorry that I lied like that, but I was quite upset and stuck between a rock and a hard place. KM, I didn't take your post as a flame, I appreciate that you took the time to give me some valuable advice.

Sunstruck, I will not go out of my way to avoid you. I have the same right to post anywhere as you do. If you "aren't going to trust or believe" me, that's too bad. Hopefully in time that will change. It took a lot of courage for me to start this thread. I believe that it should say a lot about who I really am. I can understand that you'll be cautious and doubtful, but if I am not holding a grudge against any of you for the way you "behaved" I see no reason why any one of you should hold a grudge against me. It takes too much energy to hold a grudge, especially online. Notice, I didn't avoid you all when I came back in, I wanted to get to know who you really are, just like you want to know who I really am. What I found was that you are all pretty cool, so I don't regret posting amongst you. You, Sunstruck, mentioned that I was all up in your face. I can't figure out why you said that because it couldn't be further then the truth.

busybody, how cruel, that just says a lot about who you are......

Good lord, I didn't realize what a long post this is. Sorry.

 

[busybody..]

MsTERIOUS

I hope you get hit by a bus......and splatter, but dont DIE, just agonize for decades.











Oh, Im sorry, did I say that? It must be my meds! Yeah thats the ticket, blame my shitty personality on the meds!

 

[MsTerious]

PCG, if you haven't seen the change in me over the last week or so, that's really too bad, because I am a very kind person and worth knowing. About the Laurel comment, that was not bullshit at all. She has been very helpful and understanding. Showing appreciation for that means it's bullshit? I don't think so. Like I said before, I think it's a bit extreme to say that I have to "prove" myself. I've explained, I've apologized, and I have shown you that I am honest. Do you think that it was easy for me to start this thread? It would have been a lot easier for me to leave. I stayed and explained because I am honest. I buried NnN because I didn't like her either. I wanted a fresh start and telling you that I was NnN certainly wouldn't have been a fresh start.

 

[MsTerious]

Hi Blue, thanks for getting my back hon!!