Shortening "They gave each other a big hug"

[8letters]

In my story, two old friends meet. I'm working on reducing my wordiness in the story. If I had written of their meeting, "They gave each other a hug", then I could cut out a lot of deadwood by changing it to "They hugged."

What I have written of their meeting is "They gave each other a big hug." By big, I mean they held each other more tightly and longer than a normal friendly hug. Is there a short way of phrasing that?

They big hugged sounds comical.
They hugged ardently or They hugged passionately might work if they were lovers, but their not
They hugged strongly is what I currently have, but I think it sucks.

Any suggestions? I am seriously thinking of going back to "They gave each other a big hug."

Edit:
Here's more of the scene"

“Where’s your boyfriend?” [Thomas] asked [his sister Caitlin].

“He misplaced his passport and was searching for it. I know he has it. He should be here any…there he is!” She waved and a guy moved in our direction. He was really good looking, something like a young Tom Cruise with a dark, thick mustache. He looked a little taller than Caitlin, who is 5’8”.

“Oh my God!” Rebecca [Thomas' girlfriend] cried as he approached. “Jacob!”

“Rebecca!”

They gave each other a big hug.

“Well, you two obviously know each other,” said Caitlin.

“This is incredible!” said Rebecca to Jacob. “I thought I’d never see you again!”

They hugged again, then Jacob hugged Caitlin while Rebecca moved to my side and took my hand.

This is at the start of the cruise. Two days later, Rebecca will dump Thomas to go off with Jacob.

 

[LaRascasse]

In my story, two old friends meet. I'm working on reducing my wordiness in the story. If I had written of their meeting, "They gave each other a hug", then I could cut out a lot of deadwood by changing it to "They hugged."

What I have written of their meeting is "They gave each other a big hug." By big, I mean they held each other more tightly and longer than a normal friendly hug. Is there a short way of phrasing that?

They big hugged sounds comical.
They hugged ardently or They hugged passionately might work if they were lovers, but their not
They hugged strongly is what I currently have, but I think it sucks.

Any suggestions? I am seriously thinking of going back to "They gave each other a big hug."

Your original sentence isn't all that wordy. If you're looking to cut flab from your story, this is not the place.

 

[rjordan]

In my story, two old friends meet. I'm working on reducing my wordiness in the story. If I had written of their meeting, "They gave each other a hug", then I could cut out a lot of deadwood by changing it to "They hugged."

[snip]

Any suggestions? I am seriously thinking of going back to "They gave each other a big hug."

You sound like the backpackers who cut the handle off a toothbrush to save weight (some really do). Use the words needed to say what you want to say. If the context tells me these are two old friends who are really glad to see one another, "They hugged" is going to convey to me that they gave each other a big hug.

If the context doesn't convey that and the quality of the hug is important, then you need to tell me whether it was a perfunctory hug or a big hug if that will be confusing to me.

It's good to eliminate unnecessary words, but just trying to save word-weight doesn't seem like a worthwhile goal.

rj

 

[CyranoJ]

Don't think you necessarily need to shorten it either, but the baseline phrase for expressing "they gave each other a big hug" would be "they embraced".

 

[lovecraft68]

Don't think you necessarily need to shorten it either, but the baseline phrase for expressing "they gave each other a big hug" would be "they embraced".

To me 'embraced' is what lovers would do,

 

[Katiecat]

You could use an adverb to describe how they hugged:

"They hugged tightly."
"They hugged enthusiastically."
"They hugged sympathetically."
"They hugged tenderly."
"They hugged briefly."

 

[Swilly]

How about a bear hug?

 

[masterandmargarita]

Maybe they can "share" a hug? And if it needs to be emphasized, it could be a "lingering" hug? So: "They shared a lingering hug." I've used that one before, but that's not to say that it is necessarily good

 

[Handley_Page]

Maybe they can "share" a hug? And if it needs to be emphasized, it could be a "lingering" hug? So: "They shared a lingering hug." I've used that one before, but that's not to say that it is necessarily good

Sharing an affectionate hug ?
[well, perhaps that may be too 'English' , , ,]

 

[Hypoxia]

Any tighter, and their hug would be intercourse.

 

[glynndah]

They gave each other a big hug is fine. Keep it.

 

[sr71plt]

"Bear hug" would convey to me.

 

[SandraMustard]

Bear hug came to my mind before I discovered others have offered that already.

Then I realized that you didn't specify gender of "the two old friends." 'Bear hug' won't work for females as well as 'snug hug', or mixed ...

WTF is so wordy about the original seven? What are the other 10,000 words?

 

[slyc_willie]

"They clutched sincerely, holding the embrace."

That'd be my take on it. Wordiness is not necessarily a detriment to writing. There are times when a few extra words equates to another line or two of description. As someone said above, such a phrase is not the place to clip words. Know when to be concise, and when to be verbose. Both work.

 

[Handley_Page]

Could it be a "comradely hug?"

 

[slyc_willie]

Could it be a "comradely hug?"

Now that just makes me think of Cold War era soviet block soldiers sharing a quick "manly" hug. With pats on the shoulders to let each other know the hug was over.

But maybe that's just me . . . .

 

[glynndah]

Now... As far as that shortening goes, I think I'd change it to coconut oil. The unrefined stuff smells so good and the melting point is lower.

A from the good little witch.

 

[Over_Red]

As others have said, my first thought was bear hug.

 

[Carnevil9]

Any tighter, and their hug would be intercourse.

"If I hold you any closer, I'll be in back of you!" - Groucho.

As others have implied, if you want to reduce word count, don't try tightening up all the sentences. That will only change the style and ruin the flow. Keep the prose natural, but yank out unnecessary scenes. There are always a few. Keep only the action that is necessary to tell the tale, but tell it in the most natural possible way.

 

[TamLin01]

"They hugged."

That's all you need. If we already know that they're old friends meeting for the first time in a while then we will probably assume that the hug is a big hug. And how important is the size of the hug anyway?

 

[sr71plt]

The OP explained why it was a special hug. "They hugged" just rewrites the author's intent, which doesn't respond to the author's need.

 

[TamLin01]

He's overthinking it. We need to know that the characters hugged. We almost certainly don't need to know for how long or how enthusiastically. Without reading the story, I suppose I can't be completely certain of that...but it would be a very unusual case if it turned out we did.

"They hugged." That's the best way to do it. If we insist on communicating, as the writer here says, that the hug lasted longer than usual, he should simply say "They hugged longer than usual." Shortest distance between two points is still a straight line, ya know? But I still insist even that much is almost certainly not necessary.

 

[miloumilou]

I think your original "they hugged" is probably fine, but maybe you could consider "they embraced, warmly"? It suggests a degree of friendly intimacy without any sexual overtures.

 

[8letters]

Thanks to all who replied.

I added to the OP more of the scene:

“Where’s your boyfriend?” [Thomas] asked [his sister Caitlin].

“He misplaced his passport and was searching for it. I know he has it. He should be here any…there he is!” She waved and a guy moved in our direction. He was really good looking, something like a young Tom Cruise with a dark, thick mustache. He looked a little taller than Caitlin, who is 5’8”.

“Oh my God!” Rebecca [Thomas' girlfriend] cried as he approached. “Jacob!”

“Rebecca!”

They gave each other a big hug.

“Well, you two obviously know each other,” said Caitlin.

“This is incredible!” said Rebecca to Jacob. “I thought I’d never see you again!”

They hugged again, then Jacob hugged Caitlin while Rebecca moved to my side and took my hand.

This is at the start of the cruise. Two days later, Rebecca will dump Thomas to go off with Jacob.

You sound like the backpackers who cut the handle off a toothbrush to save weight (some really do). Use the words needed to say what you want to say. If the context tells me these are two old friends who are really glad to see one another, "They hugged" is going to convey to me that they gave each other a big hug.

If the context doesn't convey that and the quality of the hug is important, then you need to tell me whether it was a perfunctory hug or a big hug if that will be confusing to me.

It's good to eliminate unnecessary words, but just trying to save word-weight doesn't seem like a worthwhile goal.

The Soulful Bard reviewed on of my stories recently and his main criticism was that it was too wordy. "Cut the flab and make your story worth reading." So I'm trying to figure out how to cut flab.

Keep the prose natural, but yank out unnecessary scenes. There are always a few.

At first, I thought "I don't have any unnecessary scenes!" Then thinking more on it, I realized I did have one and as much as it pains me, I'm cutting it.

 

[sr71plt]

He's overthinking it. We need to know that the characters hugged. We almost certainly don't need to know for how long or how enthusiastically. Without reading the story, I suppose I can't be completely certain of that...but it would be a very unusual case if it turned out we did.

"They hugged." That's the best way to do it. If we insist on communicating, as the writer here says, that the hug lasted longer than usual, he should simply say "They hugged longer than usual." Shortest distance between two points is still a straight line, ya know? But I still insist even that much is almost certainly not necessary.

What you as the reader need is to get is what the author is trying to convey. The OP clearly noted that more than a simple hug was what needed to be conveyed in this context. What you have suggested changes the meaning of what the author was trying to convey. If you were an editor, you would be charged with a foul for doing this. You aren't the author of this story.