sex and religion

[James G 5]

Well, I'm not a religious person, but I do believe in God and karma (consequences for your actions). I believe that the main objective is to live in harmony with the universe; that is, be kind to other people & nature, be generous not selfish, don't deliberately harm ppl or take a life, etc. I feel that I uphold most of these goals. As long as my BDSM lifestyle involves consenting adults and causes no harm, then I don't feel too guilty.

You sound perfectly healthy

 

[pw27]

I believe in God but don't follow any religion, never went to church much growing up. Sex between consenting adults is fine, even if it's "kinky" or whatever. I've never understood why sex, masterbation, homosexuality etc., is seen as so wrong? I've never felt this way.

 

[Mysticcal]

I'm dying here
not just the laughing but the soda out my nose

oops, so sorry about the soda and nose thing lol....I was sitting at work when I did that, and just kept chuckling to myself all afternoon, the scene continuing to play out in my head....my friends thought I was losing it LOL!

 

[pointless]

if god exists he'll punish us for our sins regardless of whatever we do or say. it doesn't matter. god created all the good and all the evil things in the universe and then left it behind. he doesn't give a damn about us, so have no need to do anything to please him.

there is no heaven. there is no hell. there is only existence and non-existence. do what you want now, because when you die it's out of your hands.

the worst thing that can happen is nothing, and if that happens you'll never know.

 

[Noor]

How do your religious or spiritual beliefs effect how you feel about sex? does anyone feel guilty about being on this site? does anyone actually *enjoy* the guilt factor? (rebelling ex-catholic school girls, preachers daughters anyone?)

I am not religious, although I do enjoy studying religions.

In the religion of my mother's parents, which is the religion I was most exposed to as a child and that I have studied most as adult, women have a right to sexual satisfaction. A woman being unsatisfied sexually within a marriage can use that as grounds for divorce. I think that attitude was conveyed to me by my parents even though they were extremely non religious.

I have never associated any guilt with sex. I don't feel guilty about being on this site but I do respect the sensitivity of other people in my life who would feel uncomfortable knowing. In some ways it is no different than not letting friends who are cat lovers know my feelings about cats.

I think it depends on a religion concept of sex and sin and what options there are for repentance. I worry more about lutherans, baptists and methodists than catholics. My catholic lovers have been pretty cool about sex, when I asked one of them about it he just said, what do you think confession is for?

 

[SlickTony]

In the religion of my mother's parents, which is the religion I was most exposed to as a child and that I have studied most as adult, women have a right to sexual satisfaction.

And what religion was that?

 

[naughteeegirl31]

I was raised Catholic, but was never taught that sex was a dirty thing. Surprisingly, there are a few healthy, normal people in this extremely stuffy religion. I am very comfortable with being a sexual person. My SO and I have a very exciting and fulfilling sexual life. I am not ashamed or talking or reading about sex with others. I think that it is a healthy way to learn new things to try and to get information out there. Most people get hurt by not knowing the truth about things. I think that the How to site is fantastic because it educates people.
That being said, we have recently started experimenting with others and this does make me a little uncomfortable in a religious/spiritual sense. I am working through those feelings and my SO is ok with stopping, if I still feel uncomfortable doing this.
The comments that I have seen on this site have really given me some insight into the thoughts that I have.
Thanks
Naughtee

 

[Noor]

And what religion was that?

Judaism. My mom's family was orthodox, modern orthodox , not the "hole in the sheet" kind.

 

[SlickTony]

Ok, that sounds like my youngest sister's husband's family, a little bit. But I believe they describe themselves as "nonobservant."

 

[sweetnpetite]

I believe in God but don't follow any religion, never went to church much growing up. Sex between consenting adults is fine, even if it's "kinky" or whatever. I've never understood why sex, masterbation, homosexuality etc., is seen as so wrong? I've never felt this way.

I have a saying
"god isn't catholic, god isn't protostant, god isn't jewish, and god isn't muslim. no james, god/dess isn't pagan either. god is just god(des)

 

[James G 5]

I have a saying
"god isn't catholic, god isn't protostant, god isn't jewish, and god isn't muslim. no james, god/dess isn't pagan either. god is just god(des)

*I* am Pagan
God is God
I wouldn't presume to label him(her)

 

[entitled]

*I* am Pagan
God is God
I wouldn't presume to label him(her)

And this brings up an interesting point. How do people that label God as 'theirs' and 'theirs only' know that their God is the one and only? We all just might be sitting under the guidance and wisdom of one God and just may be too stubborn and stupid to admit it's the same one as everybody else's.

 

[James G 5]

And this brings up an interesting point. How do people that label God as 'theirs' and 'theirs only' know that their God is the one and only? We all just might be sitting under the guidance and wisdom of one God and just may be too stubborn and stupid to admit it's the same one as everybody else's.

There's a concept known as "The 9 million names of God"
Runs along the lines that we humans have minds too small to comprehend the divine
it suggests we each see but a piece of the puzzle and slap a name on that piece so we understand it
In that sense, I guess we Polytheists are better off, since we see more than 1 piece

 

[operaBaritone]

I was until very recently a firm fundamentalist Christian, though I probably would not have referred to myself as such at the time. Sex was considered an abhorrent thing outside of marriage, and not something to be talked about period stop. I developed a form of obsessive compulsive disorder known as religiosity in some literature which was NOT because of my religion but rather because of my mental constitution being what it was around the people I was around (I am bipolar with other severe issues, but currently stable and medicated thank you for asking ). I can go into much more detail about this,

about the issues with Christian hell
http://thecreature.vox.com/library/post/the-psychology-of-a-conservative-christian-hell.html

about the experience of a christian summer camp
http://thecreature.vox.com/library/post/the-psychology-of-a-christian-camp-experience.html

about my deconversion
http://thecreature.vox.com/library/post/the-terrors-of-giraffes-in-the-state-senate-1.html

A more general essay
http://thecreature.vox.com/library/...ome-other-generally-nonsensical-subjects.html

That should give some background

 

[Hiliburn]

Wow- this is the second stereotyping post in a row.
I am a Christian, I am married, and therefore I have no guilt for being here. Do I have more limits than some others, sure. That doesn't mean I will sit around and judge others because of it. Most often I will use their kinks to intice me to enjoy myself more. I live under the idea that God gave us marriage to enjoy ourselves sexually. What other creatures can enjoy so many postions and sexual options for no other reason than the pleasure of it all? Not many. I'd call that a blessing. I have the wifely duty of making my husband happy, what's wrong with that?

 

[lastingpassion]

Live and Love....

For most of us I believe, guilt about our sexuality fades as we learn and discover about human emotions and needs. Why else would so many middle age people be on this site? Consider this.... guilt feelings within your mind about sex, actually controls your thinking and thus learning more about the natural beauty of physical pleasure. As we embrace the many forms of erotic pleasure with others, we realize that we are giving happiness as well as receiving happiness. Why should anyone feel guilty about happiness, in any form?

 

[operaBaritone]

stereotyping post?

I lived it ma'am, it is not "stereotyping" anything.

 

[snoopercharmbrights]

There's a concept known as "The 9 million names of God" ...

I hate to seem pedantic, but the short story by Arthur C. Clarke was called "The Nine Billion Names Of God" and is available on-line free at http://lucis.net/stuff/clarke/9billion_clarke.html if you really want to know how IBM could bring about the end of the world in six weeks during the early 1960s.

 

[newbiebabe]

Interesting old thread being brought up to date, I think.

I was raised in a very conservative Christian home. Very! However, we attended churches whose ideas regarding sex, while still promoting abstinence until marriage, were very progressive regarding sex within marriage.

If you have not read Song of Solomon, do so. It is beautiful poetry and shows us how God made sex for our pleasure and how to enjoy love, sex and intimacy. Tommy Nelson, a pastor in Denton, Texas has fabulous and fun studies on this.

To believe that if you are a Christian or of some Christian religion/belief and cannot enjoy sex so you must turn away from your beliefs to do so, is a very constricted view of what God intended for our sexuality. I agree, it is man, not God, who has put a lot of these strictures in place to control others. And personally, I think it saddens Him that we have "dirtied" this thing that I believe was given as a gift to us.

Everyone is responsible for their own sexuality particularly in regards to "kinks". While it is not ours to judge someone else... let's just say we still do to some extent even if it is just to read something and say, "nope, never". The only caveat to this would be sex with children... there is the line that I would always draw.. no matter what. Otherwise, to each his own as long as others are agreeable and not hurt by your actions. I personally adhere to the non-humiliation side of sex but if others enjoy it and have a willing partner.. then again, to each his own.

As to reconciling my belief system with being a participant on this board... well, again, that is for no one else to judge. It is my decision and I am willing, should there be repercussions, to own my actions and be accountable. That is all that should matter to anyone.

 

[kskittles]

Religion is silly and sex is pleasurable......what else is there to discuss?

 

[MiriamL]

Religion is silly and sex is pleasurable......what else is there to discuss?

For me, religious ritual and sexual ritual are closely related and forever entwined.

In religious ritual there is the eternal principle of the unio mystica...the mystical union with the holy spirit, whereas sexuality is a physical union.

During communion a women kneels to take the flesh and blood of Jesus into herself, symbolized by sacred bread and wine. And also when she kneels to swallow an enormous thrusting phallus, taking her partner's sacred life-giving sperm into herself and thus being made whole in the union of male and female.

 

[gryffdon]

I have traversed this globe at least half a dozen times and investigated many religions even during my travels. I wont deny or argue the fact that during those travels as well that my pants had a difficult time staying zipped and buttoned up. Did religion play into sex and vice versa? Yeah a little.

How? Well I met a lady that based on her religious views wouldnt have anal sex nor would she do it in any position other than plain ol missionary. I met several ladies that refused to use condoms or contraceptives... in fact they all told me that if they got pregnant then it was the will of God.

Now, being slightly older and hopefully a little wiser I have settled down quite a bit even for not being middle aged just yet and decided to settle into a religion that suits me and my needs. Is sex taboo? It is when you wantonly seek it out simply just for the fun of it. It is a fact that Humans are the only creature that has sex for fun aside from Dolphins. Religions has a whole do not condemn sexual intercourse... what is condemned is that acts before lawful marriage and of course homosexuality... along with a few other taboos such as incest and child molestation.

My point is that it isnt religion that is saying sex is wrong it is the open, wanton gluttonous search for it and even the baseless discussion of it like it is no longer a private or sacred occurrence. Case in point... If you feel you need sex or the like to have a meaningful relationship than you need help and it is akin to saying the only way to have fun is if your drunk or buzzed.

 

[kskittles]

Hooray for hocus-pocus

 

[MiriamL]

Religions has a whole do not condemn sexual intercourse... what is condemned is that acts before lawful marriage and of course homosexuality...along with a few other taboos such as incest and child molestation.

However, the Hebrew bible does NOT condemn the daughters of Lot for consorting with their own father...plying him with wine and then riding his erection camelgirl style!

Their mother on the other hand, was turned into a pillar of salt merely for looking back on the destruction of Sodom and Gormorah.

Moses and company were also known to acquire sex slaves from among captured prisoners, so it wasnt all exactly kosher.

 

[operaBaritone]

I have traversed this globe at least half a dozen times and investigated many religions even during my travels. I wont deny or argue the fact that during those travels as well that my pants had a difficult time staying zipped and buttoned up. Did religion play into sex and vice versa? Yeah a little.

From your discussion that follows, either you haven't investigated religion much at all or you're being willfully ignorant.

Now, being slightly older and hopefully a little wiser I have settled down quite a bit even for not being middle aged just yet and decided to settle into a religion that suits me and my needs. Is sex taboo? It is when you wantonly seek it out simply just for the fun of it.

Oh no, perish the thought of having sex for the fun of it. Also you're making the perilous logical fallacy of "argument from authority" in a certain sense. We were made with an extreme surplus of sperm and a pretty much constant flow of sexual tension and yet we should be having sex for some reason other than "fun". What do you mean by that? You haven't bothered to define what you think sex is for.

It is a fact that Humans are the only creature that has sex for fun aside from Dolphins.

A) there is absolutely NO way this could be verified. First we don't know what every creature thinks or if every creature is conscious in the human sense of that term, even as ill defined as a "conscious-being" is. Secondly you have to define what "having sex for fun" means. In addition, much of this could be tacked up to animals not having a concept of what you're calling "fun", which would, again, be quite difficult if not impossible to verify.

B) Bonobos? Honestly how long did you go about looking THAT up? the bulls***-ometer is at max

Religions has a whole do not condemn sexual intercourse... what is condemned is that acts before lawful marriage and of course homosexuality... along with a few other taboos such as incest and child molestation.

Yes, and rape is not universally condemned, at least, not in strong terms. In the Hebrew Bible the offense of rape was punished by forcing the rapist to marry the nonconsenting individual. Actually child molestation and incest aren't universally condemned either. Child molestation is never addressed in the Hebrew Bible, to the best of my knowledge in the Qu'ran, or in the Christian New Testament. Sorry, but your blanket statements do not hold water.

Homosexuality is also NOT condemned universally, gilgamesh is quite arguably given a male consort so that he refrains from having sex with anything that moves.

Pederasty was quite common in many cultures, notably the greek and roman, which is, in effect, child molestation and child rape in at least some cases. Polygamy is of course not universally condemned, it would seem that for the majority of history marriage has been between one man and many women. Also, Muhammed's youngest wife was, I believe, 9 at the time of marriage. In what sense is Muhammed consumating this marriage not child molestation or child rape. What do you define "child molestation" to be? It'd be interesting to hear which holy books you refer to when you say that child molestation is condemned. I am personally not aware of any strong definitions of "age of consent" or "child molestation" in any of the relatively common holy books, especially those that are reasonably old.

Acts before lawful marriage are not universally condemned, especially since "lawful marriage" is a very hard term to define. When does a coupling become "lawful"? Does a contract need to be established? At what point in history do you think contract law of this sort was established? Does an external body need be involved?

Do you realize that most religious documents were written in a time in which people were coupled at very young ages?

My point is that it isnt religion that is saying sex is wrong it is the open, wanton gluttonous search for it and even the baseless discussion of it like it is no longer a private or sacred occurrence.

"wanton gluttonous search"...? "baseless discussion"? What makes discussion "baseless"? Define what you mean here. Why is sex necessarily a "private" or "sacred" occurance? who decided this? I certainly wasn't consulted. You're making assumptions like they're going out of style. What does "baseless discussion" mean anyway? You're throwing out phrases as though they make sense when you haven't bothered to define anything specifically.

How many religions have you looked into? Do you know anything about forms of Wicca? How about the various forms of Druidism? Do you discount celebrations of fertility out of hand? Or by "religion" to you give precedence to Islam, Christianity and Judaism?

Case in point... If you feel you need sex or the like to have a meaningful relationship than you need help and it is akin to saying the only way to have fun is if your drunk or buzzed.

What the hell does this have to do with the subject at hand? What does that have to do with the rest of your argument? Or are you just firing from your various orifices? Are you making the claim that anyone who has sex for "fun" is this sort of person? Are you suggesting that anyone who doesn't follow your particular idea of the purpose of sex is in need of "help"? What sort of help would you suggest? Psychological? What particular illness or malady are you referring to here.

Or perhaps, again, you're just speaking out of your various orifices and don't know what you're talking about.