sex and religion

[culloden]

I would agree that suicide is never that simple, suicide is quite a mind boggling endeavor in some ways. And I am sorry for your loss, though it was a time ago.

And again, as you point out, nothing is that simple. Of course this is true, and you will get no argument from me here. However, just because there are contributing factors, the fact that religion in my case and many others was a contributing factor is a travesty.



Interesting how I didn't bring up contradictions in scripture, you did. I have problems with the scripture that is quite straightforward and not contradicted. Besides that by the very definition of a contradiction you can't reconcile them. I think you mean "apparent contradiction", which is the word most defenders of the faith will use.



Again, I did not bring up the censorship of sex, you did. And I don't intend to have sex outside my marriage should I ever get married, but until the time that I am married I will at least consider premarital sex as a possibility.

You shouldn't read much into the nuances you point out. Chatting online is very different than in person, where the feedback of conversation allows for clarification of minor points as you go. Nor should it be taken as seriously as the published word, which is written and rewritten a dozen times. Online talk has the grave disadvantage of memorializing shoot from the hip writing.

 

[Felix_Jones]

One thing I forgot.

Should people's religious beliefs be respected?

Not out of hand. I respect the people and their intellect very much in some cases, but I do not respect their religious beliefs in the sense that I will not criticize them. In many cases I respect the person enough not to do this to his face, but I will in print and otherwise be critical, usually in as cordial a way as possible, of their beliefs.

I'll defer to H.L Mencken on this one:

"We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart."

 

[operaBaritone]

I'll defer to H.L Mencken on this one:

"We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart."

Hahahaha! Yes, the awesome H.L. Mencken, always a source of quotes

I most assuredly agree

 

[CNYCarol]

How do your religious or spiritual beliefs effect how you feel about sex? does anyone feel guilty about being on this site? does anyone actually *enjoy* the guilt factor? (rebelling ex-catholic school girls, preachers daughters anyone?)

PLEASE, sexuality and religion aren't even vaguely related!

Religion has long tried to insert itself into our sex lives. Tell them to mind their own business.

The best book I have ever found for discussing sex and religion is entitled "Intended for Pleasure" by Ed and Gail Wheat.

Let me see now, the preacher says sex is shameful, GOD says "Be fruitful and multiply". I think I'll trust GOD's word before the preacher.

AMEN!!!!!!

 

[CNYCarol]

PS: I am a VERY devout Christian!

 

[Felix_Jones]

Religion

I only use religion for swearing and sex games. I'm still working on fucking a chick in a confessional. And if there were any hot nuns (there aren't) I'd do that, too.

 

[mythtrav16]

How do your religious or spiritual beliefs effect how you feel about sex? does anyone feel guilty about being on this site? does anyone actually *enjoy* the guilt factor? (rebelling ex-catholic school girls, preachers daughters anyone?)

I'm an atheist, albeit a fairly spiritual one, and I do feel guilty about being on this site. More specifically, writing stories for this site. You wouldn't know it from my stories, but I'm not really a horny guy. I can count my number of lovers on one hand, and I've never had sex with anyone I didn't believe I was in love with at the time. To me, sex has always been about expressing, commemorating and enhancing a great emotional connection with someone special. It's a sacred experience I reserve for a person who is truly sacred to me.

There's probably a little guilt that comes from those beliefs; like I'm not giving the remarkable woman in my life the focus she deserves. But I think the main reason I feel guilty about writing my stories is because about a year ago, I found out about this black sheep in my family that nobody had ever told me about before. They told me he used to write "naughty stories", like I do now. Then I found out the guy grew up to become a pedophile. It's hard not to feel dirty (in a bad way) about writing erotic stories when you learn something like that.

So why do I keep writing? I guess I'd feel even more guilty if I didn't write; if I didn't make some creative contribution to society.

...for now at least.

 

[CatBrown]

Too long without a post

This thread has gone too long without a post!

I am a Christian. I write Christian fiction. I also write erotica, and enjoy reading it (a lot!)

Have you ever read Song of Songs? That is some mighty erotic writing, and it's right there in the Bible, nestled among Wisdom and Prophets. If God saw fit to give us a book like that, and humans (who mess everything up) saw fit to leave it in every version of the Bible, who am I to argue?

(Granted, I don't get into incest and rape literature, but that's in the Bible too. Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob all married first cousins, and several kings of Israel married sisters (ewwww!))

 

[MissBecky2011]

I'm a bi Christian

How do your religious or spiritual beliefs effect how you feel about sex? does anyone feel guilty about being on this site? does anyone actually *enjoy* the guilt factor? (rebelling ex-catholic school girls, preachers daughters anyone?)

I always hid my true sexuality due, in part, to my faith. I hid it from others & denied it 2 myself.
I came out 2 my family & some of my friends in June. Since then, the only real "guilt" I've felt is due 2 my still lying 2 some ppl...

 

[Little Bird]

This thread has gone too long without a post!

I am a Christian. I write Christian fiction. I also write erotica, and enjoy reading it (a lot!)

Have you ever read Song of Songs? That is some mighty erotic writing, and it's right there in the Bible, nestled among Wisdom and Prophets. If God saw fit to give us a book like that, and humans (who mess everything up) saw fit to leave it in every version of the Bible, who am I to argue?

(Granted, I don't get into incest and rape literature, but that's in the Bible too. Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob all married first cousins, and several kings of Israel married sisters (ewwww!))

In ancient times, people, and especially in high society, were really into simbolic family relationships. You could become someones son or brother quite easily, without being actually related in any way. So it's always hard to tell in what way people are actually related, even though the terms that are used seem quite obvious.

As another example, Japan does not really have a concept of step siblings. If your parents marry, you are from then on brother and sister, and to refer to each other as such. There are countless stories in which young couples find out their single parents are dating and it turns into a minor catastrophy when they marry, because it makes their children siblings and it gives their relationship a strong incestous touch.

Some people make deal out of Franklin and Eleanor Rosevelt being cousins, while actually his great-great-great-great-grandfather was her great-great-great-great-great-grandfather, who was born 180 years before either of them. As 5th cousins once removed, they would have had a 0,3% chance to share even a single chromosome of their mutual ancestor. And who would object to that?

 

[NaturistLouise]

Religious Upbringing

I seldom write about religion or politics because inevitable it ends up in arguement and I post in sites like this for fun and to share.

I grew up in a fundamentalist, religious family and I thank my Mom and Dad for teaching me a lot of great things in life and showed me how to be a nice person which I attempt to follow. However, growing up, Mom's teaching on sex left me with a lot of guilt. (Dads could never talk to daugters about sex back then!)

I started dating at a young age and soon found that it felt real good to do some touching and to be touched. Yet, I always felt guilty because it was 'supposedly wrong'. The first time I had sex, it was far from pleasurable .... rushed in the back seat of a car, fear of pregnancy and religious guilt stole a fantastic first-time experience from me.

I did a lot of thinking after my first time and came to grips with my sexuality. I could see nothing wrong with enjoying sex and still be a Christian and it's been fun ever since.

The only set back was getting undressed the first time at a nude resort ..... those instilled religious values popped up again and it took all the willpower I could muster to remove my shorts and panties.

 

[CoupleFromOhio]

One thing I am thankful for God's blessings in our marriage. Sex is a gift from God and I am happily married and sexually satisfied being with my wife, best friend and sex partner. It's important for us to negotiate how we are going to talk about our sexual relationship together. To talk honestly about our sexuality, sexual preferences, fears, feelings about our bodies, struggles, joys. This is REAL intimacy, deep friendship with trust and faithfulness. My wife and I are so compatible with everything in our marriage. Unlike most men who don't confess to their wives, I am able to accept as I am that I am able to share my deepest sexual secrets with her.

Christian faith communities and theological traditions affirming that sexuality is a good gift of God, with a few exceptions that some have judgemental views which can be unChrist-like attitudes or feelings toward an object, person, or action that were contradictory. The love of Jesus is so inclusive that love knows no boundaries. People may be disgusted with of others' beliefs or their lifestyles. Christian lovemaking is the most passionate, erotic, playful and super-satisfying expression of sexuality known to humankind. This is because our sexuality is a powerful gift of the Creator.

I will stop here

Go Bucks

 

[MizCreatrix]

I was raised in a fairly strict Italian-Catholic household. I made all of my sacraments and all of that jazz, but I can't really say I'm a devout practitioner in any way, shape or form.

Religion (and my Catholic upbringing for that matter) never really played much of a role in my sex life, not in terms of the guilt factor. I am no hedon, but I've never stopped doing something that felt good because I was afraid of sinning or anything like that. On the other hand, and I may be scolded for this, I find the use of religious tenets to be an extremely erotic way to explore sexuality and power dynamics. If anything, I've quite enjoyed flipping Catholicism on its head and feeding off (maybe even exploiting?) of a sense of "deviant faith" in sexual expression and in much of my erotica. (I know, I know...the blasphemy!) Not sure if that makes sense and my intent is certainly not to offend anyone.

To say that religion and sex have no correlation is not exactly true. For one thing, religion often has a lot to say about gender roles and how we "do sexuality", which is where the whole "flipping it on its head" idea excites me. I'm a cultural rebel, what can I say?

Also, and this may make more sense when one thinks about a BDSM or D/s dynamic, religion is embedded in power exchange, ritual and psychosexual drama. It may be an undertone or something that devout folks don't openly talk about, but sexuality is everywhere in religion, IMO. Of course, there is a marked difference between "sex and religion" and "sexuality and religion". In this post, I've been mostly referring to the latter.

Having said all of that, I do believe that Christian (and other faiths) relationships and marriages can be beautiful things. I do not look down on anyone whose faith plays a large role in their relationships and sexual expression. I do have a bit of a problem when religion is used to promote a "right and only way" to do things, but that is definitely another post altogether.

 

[dirtybelle]

Wow....this is kind of a big deal...and a two-edged sword.
First of all let me say that I am a virgin and a deacon's daughter.

I believe in remaining a virgin until marriage, because I believe that is what a virtuous woman does and in Proverbs it says that a virtuous woman is far more valuable than rubies.

Also the Mother of Jesus, Mary was a virgin....she set an example, don't you think.

Also I believe that when you have sex with someone it should be an act of love.
In Chronicles it describes what love is....patient.
I interpret that in meaning waiting until marriage.

I know that everyone has their own opinion, so I thought I would throw mine out there, as well.

O and please don't pm me because you disagree, you won't change my mind.
Thank you.

 

[NikkiBastion]

Sex is the only time I invoke jesus or god, and the only time I pray is while the zipper's coming down.

Proud, militant atheist here so no, it's par for the course!

 

[MizCreatrix]

Sex is the only time I invoke jesus or god, and the only time I pray is while the zipper's coming down.

You just made my day.

 

[tenchikoi]

Sex is in no way sinful. God gave us the gift of sex to share with a committed partner in a responsible way. For me, it's far too sacred a thing to be so casual about. I don't mean 'committed' in the way we've come to know it today, as in marriage. I mean two people deciding to be together exclusively. Heck, in the old testament their idea of 'marriage' was trading livestock for the woman or sending her to sleep with the guy for the first time and suddenly they're 'married'. So no, I don't put much stock in the term marriage of any sort. Leave it to the couple to decide what's best for them. Sex is good, we wouldn't be here without it. <3

 

[michael2956]

I've been thinking about this for a long time, trying to make sense out of my journey. First of all, a bit of background. I grew up in a fundamentalist church and became a minister. I got tired of only hearing about "personal salvation" and heaven and hell, so I left the ministry and went to law school. 20 years ago, I left that conserative church. I now attend a more liberal denomination.

As you might imagine, for a long time sex was synonymous with guilt. Everytime I masturbated I prayed for forgiveness and asked God to help me control myself. Like that worked! My first girlfriend and I never had intercourse, but did everything else....oral, mutual masturbation, dry humping, etc. I was a virgin until I got married, and I've never had sex with anyone else.

But...I love ertoica and porn and still masturbate. I feel a little guilty, but not much. Three years ago, my wife encountered an old boyfriend on Facebook and had an affair. We stayed together, but I still can't get past that. I've gotten into some mild S&M with her. She's willing and even seems to get into it. I don't know if that's my way of working out my anger at her or God, or if it's just a turn-on. I still but still haven't "strayed," though I truly want to. I suppose I want a revenge fuck, but also I just want to feel like I'm attractive and wanted.

As you can tell, I'm still confused about how sex and religion mix. I'm 55 and still trying to figure it out.

 

[NikkiBastion]

Hard to respond on this as an atheist...so all of the "god and sex" talk sounds creepy.

 

[ceeopp]

the way that become a sexy women...

 

[feline0099]

Similar Story to Mine...

I've been thinking about this for a long time, trying to make sense out of my journey. First of all, a bit of background. I grew up in a fundamentalist church and became a minister. I got tired of only hearing about "personal salvation" and heaven and hell, so I left the ministry and went to law school. 20 years ago, I left that conserative church. I now attend a more liberal denomination.

As you might imagine, for a long time sex was synonymous with guilt. Everytime I masturbated I prayed for forgiveness and asked God to help me control myself. Like that worked! My first girlfriend and I never had intercourse, but did everything else....oral, mutual masturbation, dry humping, etc. I was a virgin until I got married, and I've never had sex with anyone else.

But...I love ertoica and porn and still masturbate. I feel a little guilty, but not much. Three years ago, my wife encountered an old boyfriend on Facebook and had an affair. We stayed together, but I still can't get past that. I've gotten into some mild S&M with her. She's willing and even seems to get into it. I don't know if that's my way of working out my anger at her or God, or if it's just a turn-on. I still but still haven't "strayed," though I truly want to. I suppose I want a revenge fuck, but also I just want to feel like I'm attractive and wanted.

As you can tell, I'm still confused about how sex and religion mix. I'm 55 and still trying to figure it out.

I identify with many things you say - especially, "I'm still confused about how sex and religion mix. I'm 55 and still trying to figure it out." Just make that 50 in my case!

I grew up in an evangelical church and with very strict parents - all of which instilled a deep shame about my body, sexual thoughts & feelings, and actually, a fear of men. A majority of my adult life I carried that false guilt and shame around with me..... unintentionally giving an unspoken message to men to just leave me alone. Unfortunately, that worked pretty well. My dating life has been sparse and I'm single at 50. (Being single does have it's perks, lol...)

This year, in sort of a mid-life re-evaluation of my life, I finally tackled my issues with sex, religion, shame, etc., and feel free from all of that. My problem is that now I'm struggling with - have I gone too far in the opposite direction? How does my freedom fit with my Christian beliefs. So although I've gotten the false guilt and shame off my back, I'm still struggling with what IS okay to do, considering my beliefs? I used to think masturbation was wrong, though I did it since my 20''s. I'm convinced now that it's not wrong. I love erotic stories - writing and reading, and sometimes view porn.

The other thing I can't figure out is - is it okay or not okay to chat with married men? Is erotic, online chat cheating if a person is married? If so, what does that mean about me even though I'm single? I'm really struggling with that one, since probably half or more, of men here that PM me are married. Please understand, anyone reading this, that I'm not judging you if you're married. I've read a lot of articles on the Web on the topic. I'm just really confused about it...Sorry to ramble on here... but it helps to find this thread here!

 

[Reba67]

for a long time sex was synonymous with guilt. Everytime I masturbated I prayed for forgiveness and asked God to help me control myself. Like that worked! My first girlfriend and I never had intercourse, but did everything else....oral, mutual masturbation, dry humping, etc. I was a virgin until I got married, and I've never had sex with anyone else.

But...I love ertoica and porn and still masturbate.

A lot of this parallels my life. It took me quite a while to realize that the feelings I had were just part of being human and that by indulging in masturbation, it was a heck of a lot easier to wait for intercourse until marriage. My husband and I did a lot together, including mutual orgasms (sometimes times together), but saved intercourse until our wedding night. Man, I thought we had some incredible orgasms and intimacy before marriage, but since marriage, it has only intensified several fold. The church certainly encourages physical intimacy with one's spouse.

 

[Little Bird]

I noticed that there are very few major religions in which having a body is considered a good thing. It's usually regarded as baggage that the spirit has to drag with it in this world and something to discard and leave behind when this live is over. Or even better, one should learn to either ignore the body or control it in a way that it keeps quite and doesn't interfere with the mind and spirit.
There are some elements of hinduism and taoism that aknowledge the body as something useful, but even then it's still mostly as a tool that can be used for the benefit of the spirit.
Almost always the mind and spirit should be detached from any physical aspects of being human, which I find rather odd.

The other thing I can't figure out is - is it okay or not okay to chat with married men? Is erotic, online chat cheating if a person is married? If so, what does that mean about me even though I'm single? I'm really struggling with that one, since probably half or more, of men here that PM me are married. Please understand, anyone reading this, that I'm not judging you if you're married. I've read a lot of articles on the Web on the topic. I'm just really confused about it...Sorry to ramble on here... but it helps to find this thread here!

I think it's pretty easy to tell: If you think your partner won't like it if you do it, so you do it anyway but in secret, then it's cheating. By being in a commited relationship, it is assumed by default, that you keep all your sexual activities within the relationship, unless there are any specific agreements for anything else. If you act against that mutual understanding, it's cheating, simple as that.

 

[TheOne007]

I seem to notice an interesting cue from religion vs. sex. In most of the past relationships, I notice that most people who are christians (not catholics, but methodists, non-denominational, baptists, etc) are more sex driven. I don't know if it's the area i'm from or what. I'm Catholic, and I find that the "waiting till you are married" is very old school. Most catholics I know believe in the use of contraception. My ex was non-denominational and was always saying during sex that I would burn. I'm still here

 

[feline0099]

I think it's pretty easy to tell: If you think your partner won't like it if you do it, so you do it anyway but in secret, then it's cheating. By being in a commited relationship, it is assumed by default, that you keep all your sexual activities within the relationship, unless there are any specific agreements for anything else. If you act against that mutual understanding, it's cheating, simple as that.

I understand what you're saying, and that's really the view I lean towards. But then what is considered a "sexual activity" and what isn't? What about married people who read and/or write erotic stories, which is sexually arousing? Or viewing pornography. I'm really not arguing - just trying to make sense of what I think is not a black & white issue.

The other thing is that I'm not cheating on anyone --- I'm single. But then that brings up the question of --- am I contributing to a married man's cheating (if chat is cheating)?