Sex and Makeup

[Lord Pmann]

Hello there. My friend Garnate has a serious love of makeup and is here to answer your burning questions about all things cosmetic and sex related. What separates her from other, more twat-like makeup fairies? Well, for one, she's not a delusional, self-aggrandizing twat that makes you want to die every time you read what she writes, unless she is. Secondly, she'll answer your questions without being a condescending cunt, unless she does. Thirdly, you'll be able to hear her response because she's not mounted on some high horse way above the rest of you, unless she is.

Also she smells nice and you can ask her sex questions because, let's face it, after a hundred sexual partners I'm sure she's seen and heard it all. After a quick call to her doctor I can personally assure you she has miraculously avoided catching any STD's and will not be spraying herpes all over the thread, unless that's what you're into.

Her Dossier:

A little about her: She doesn't say stupid shit like "beauty insider" or "I'm conventionally beautiful". She won't call this thread a "Noble Prize Winning Thread", because she's not stupid enough to think that it's called the "Noble" Prize. She doesn't assume that, just because you've interacted with her at some point in time, you're madly in love with her and can't wait to get your dick wet with her superior pussy juice. She doesn't say things like how She's "genetically gifted", because that would make her sound a bit like Hitler. She also won't say things like 'QWOP into Mordor', because she doesn't know what the fuck that means. She has never turned an issue that was completely not about feminism into a feminist issue. She won't think you are a misogynist for thinking that the sky is blue.

So please, feel free to ask her all your questions about skincare, makeup, sex or even fashion. For fashion questions, she may call upon the resident Fashion Fairy, our benevolent Lord Pmann. If you're too scared to post your makeup or sex question, PM her and she'll anonymously answer it.

Her promise to you:

Although your questions are important to her, she will never, EVER take this thread seriously or call it important. Because it's a makeup/sex thread. On the Internet. In a sex forum. And she's not delusional enough to think otherwise.

My promise to you:

Garnate and I are sharing this thread. It's mainly hers, but there may be some fashion stuff that needs answering. I'm here for you as the Fashion Fairy. Or maybe you're wondering if your breasts are too large. I can examine that for you.

We really wanted to make a difference in the world. And now we are.

 

[Wife of Bath]

I don't wear makeup.

Should I see myself out?

 

[Lorilei]

Subscribed.

 

[glynndah]

Hello there. My friend Garnate has a serious love of makeup and is here to answer your burning questions about all things cosmetic and sex related. What separates her from other, more twat-like makeup fairies? Well, for one, she's not a delusional, self-aggrandizing twat that makes you want to die every time you read what she writes, unless she is. Secondly, she'll answer your questions without being a condescending cunt, unless she does. Thirdly, you'll be able to hear her response because she's not mounted on some high horse way above the rest of you, unless she is.

Also she smells nice and you can ask her sex questions because, let's face it, after a hundred sexual partners I'm sure she's seen and heard it all. After a quick call to her doctor I can personally assure you she has miraculously avoided catching any STD's and will not be spraying herpes all over the thread, unless that's what you're into.

Her Dossier

A little about her: She doesn't say stupid shit like "beauty insider" or "I'm conventionally beautiful". She won't call this thread a "Noble Prize Winning Thread", because she's not stupid enough to think that it's called the "Noble" Prize. She doesn't assume that, just because you've interacted with her at some point in time, you're madly in love with her and can't wait to get your dick wet with her superior pussy juice. She doesn't say things like how She's "genetically gifted", because that would make her sound a bit like Hitler. She also won't say things like 'QWOP into Mordor', because she doesn't know what the fuck that means. She has never turned an issue that was completely not about feminism into a feminist issue. She won't think you are a misogynist for thinking that the sky is blue.

So please, feel free to ask her all your questions about skincare, makeup, sex or even fashion. For fashion questions, she may call upon the resident Fashion Fairy, our benevolent Lord Pmann. If you're too scared to post your makeup or sex question, PM her and she'll anonymously answer it.

Her promise to you:

Although your questions are important to her, she will never, EVER take this thread seriously or call it important. Because it's a makeup/sex thread. On the Internet. In a sex forum. And she's not delusional enough to think otherwise.

My promise to you:

Garnate and I are sharing this thread. It's mainly hers, but there may be some fashion stuff that needs answering. I'm here for you as the Fashion Fairy. Or maybe you're wondering if your breasts are too large. I can examine that for you.

We really wanted to make a difference in the world. And now we are.

Define "smells nice". This could be very important.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I don't wear makeup.

Should I see myself out?

No ma'am. Perhaps you're worried those boobs are too large?

 

[Wife of Bath]

No ma'am. Perhaps you're worried those boobs are too large?

Worried is a strong word. Sometimes they bother my back, especially if my bra fits poorly.

 

[neci]

my bra wire snapped in half the other day. right in the center. is it possible for one's boobs to be too big for bras?

 

[Garnate]

Define "smells nice". This could be very important.

Do you like cookies? I smell like fucking cookies. Don't like cookies? Maybe sunflowers are your thing? That's right, I smell like a yard full of goddamn sunflowers. Amazing, right?

 

[Garnate]

my bra wire snapped in half the other day. right in the center. is it possible for one's boobs to be too big for bras?

It's very possible for your boobs to be too big for the bras you currently wear, yes.

 

[neci]

It's very possible for your boobs to be too big for the bras you currently wear, yes.

it fit correctly in all other respects. granted, it was about 6 months old. i just hate how fucking expensive bras are, then they have to go and snap on you.

 

[neci]

i don't even put them in the dryer.

 

[Garnate]

my bra wire snapped in half the other day. right in the center. is it possible for one's boobs to be too big for bras?

Also, here's an easy fix: Pull the broken wire pieces out of your bra. Just poke one end through the fabric and pull. Once both pieces are out, duct tape that shit together and slide it back in through the hole you made. If it's too tight of a fit, cut a long slit along the underside of your bra and duct tape the duct-taped wire back in.

You're welcome.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Worried is a strong word. Sometimes they bother my back, especially if my bra fits poorly.

And these are the kinds of things that I am here for. I hear stories like these and I remember why I started this in the first place. Garnate and I started this thread with a heart of gold. We are both into helping people and you are absolutely one that I would help.

I offer a two hand support system that would do wonders for your back. No need for those pesky bra straps. You just have me walk around with you, holding them at all times. There is no side effect. There is an added bonus of a hard cock pressing your back, about ass level. Yes, I call that a bonus b

 

[Lord Pmann]

is it possible for one's boobs to be too big?

No. It is not.

 

[Garnate]

it fit correctly in all other respects. granted, it was about 6 months old. i just hate how fucking expensive bras are, then they have to go and snap on you.

Do what I do. Only buy those pretty, frilly, mega-cleavage bras that cost $6 a piece. Sure you can only wear them a few time before they self-combust, but they were only $6 a piece. Buy a gaggle of them and you're set.

 

[Wife of Bath]

it fit correctly in all other respects. granted, it was about 6 months old. i just hate how fucking expensive bras are, then they have to go and snap on you.

It's a conspiracy!

 

[SweetSam42]

Hello there. My friend Garnate has a serious love of makeup and is here to answer your burning questions about all things cosmetic and sex related. What separates her from other, more twat-like makeup fairies? Well, for one, she's not a delusional, self-aggrandizing twat that makes you want to die every time you read what she writes, unless she is. Secondly, she'll answer your questions without being a condescending cunt, unless she does. Thirdly, you'll be able to hear her response because she's not mounted on some high horse way above the rest of you, unless she is.

Also she smells nice and you can ask her sex questions because, let's face it, after a hundred sexual partners I'm sure she's seen and heard it all. After a quick call to her doctor I can personally assure you she has miraculously avoided catching any STD's and will not be spraying herpes all over the thread, unless that's what you're into.

Her Dossier:

A little about her: She doesn't say stupid shit like "beauty insider" or "I'm conventionally beautiful". She won't call this thread a "Noble Prize Winning Thread", because she's not stupid enough to think that it's called the "Noble" Prize. She doesn't assume that, just because you've interacted with her at some point in time, you're madly in love with her and can't wait to get your dick wet with her superior pussy juice. She doesn't say things like how She's "genetically gifted", because that would make her sound a bit like Hitler. She also won't say things like 'QWOP into Mordor', because she doesn't know what the fuck that means. She has never turned an issue that was completely not about feminism into a feminist issue. She won't think you are a misogynist for thinking that the sky is blue.

So please, feel free to ask her all your questions about skincare, makeup, sex or even fashion. For fashion questions, she may call upon the resident Fashion Fairy, our benevolent Lord Pmann. If you're too scared to post your makeup or sex question, PM her and she'll anonymously answer it.

Her promise to you:

Although your questions are important to her, she will never, EVER take this thread seriously or call it important. Because it's a makeup/sex thread. On the Internet. In a sex forum. And she's not delusional enough to think otherwise.

My promise to you:

Garnate and I are sharing this thread. It's mainly hers, but there may be some fashion stuff that needs answering. I'm here for you as the Fashion Fairy. Or maybe you're wondering if your breasts are too large. I can examine that for you.

We really wanted to make a difference in the world. And now we are.

SO many words. Hurts brain.

Keywords for those of us of lesser intelligence might help: sex, makeup, fashion.

Ok, the day I take fashion help from a man who wears coral pink shorts is a day for the record books.

But I do like garnate....

 

[Lord Pmann]

SO many words. Hurts brain.

Keywords for those of us of lesser intelligence might help: sex, makeup, fashion.

Ok, the day I take fashion help from a man who wears coral pink shorts is a day for the record books.

But I do like garnate....

They are salmon, for fuck's sake. Who the fuck wears coral? They are salmon.

And you fucking love my fashion sense, so I don't even want to hear it.

 

[Garnate]

SO many words. Hurts brain.

Keywords for those of us of lesser intelligence might help: sex, makeup, fashion.

Ok, the day I take fashion help from a man who wears coral pink shorts is a day for the record books.

But I do like garnate....

And Garnate likes your boobs. And probably Lord Pmann does, too. He'd have to be gay AND blind not to appreciate them. Has he told you about his hands-on bra service? He's having a sale on it right now but you have to act fast.

 

[neci]

Also, here's an easy fix: Pull the broken wire pieces out of your bra. Just poke one end through the fabric and pull. Once both pieces are out, duct tape that shit together and slide it back in through the hole you made. If it's too tight of a fit, cut a long slit along the underside of your bra and duct tape the duct-taped wire back in.

You're welcome.

the pulled out wire fits over my head, and is so thin. the current ones would make better headbands. i seriously think these fuckers should be made out of aluminum or titanium.

No. It is not.

good.

Do what I do. Only buy those pretty, frilly, mega-cleavage bras that cost $6 a piece. Sure you can only wear them a few time before they self-combust, but they were only $6 a piece. Buy a gaggle of them and you're set.

do you have a go to place with $6 big boob bras? i do not shop at walmart.

It's a conspiracy!

it seriously is. i told myself i was going to learn to sew bras with noor's help, but i have not done this. first i need to get a cord for the sewing machine.

 

[Garnate]

They are salmon, for fuck's sake. Who the fuck wears coral? They are salmon.

And you fucking love my fashion sense, so I don't even want to hear it.

I don't ever want to catch you badmouthing coral again, got it? There's a reason it's this seasons color and I love it more than pasta.


Maybe not more than pasta. But it's up there.

 

[Garnate]

do you have a go to place with $6 big boob bras? i do not shop at walmart.

Why drive to Walmart when you can order them online directly from China??

That's what I do. They go straight from a small child's sewing machine to my mailbox.

 

[neci]

also. makeup. fucking geez. i went to work the other day, and put on the equivilant of ten minute stage makeup. then i sweated under bright lights and it all came running off on my sleeve. i understand there are products that help this, but if i am going to wear makeup, i want the liquid foundation and the powder to set. i also forgot the lipstick, so i probably looked like an undone, washed out, ceramic doll from the grocery store.

 

[neci]

I don't ever want to catch you badmouthing coral again, got it? There's a reason it's this seasons color and I love it more than pasta.


Maybe not more than pasta. But it's up there.

poor child probably looks at those and goes, "my stomach is never going to be this big."

 

[Wife of Bath]

Can this thread be about gardening? I'm super jazzed about my garden.