Puns

[mnbreastluver]

When you purchase trash bags, you are just throwing your money away.

 

[done_got_old]

Coin counterfeiting is a bad mintin' racket.

 

[mnbreastluver]

The only web developers that enjoy finding bugs are spiders.

 

[done_got_old]

A sailor has courage by the boatload.

 

[porkyrocket69]

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

 

[porkyrocket69]

If a cat could text you back, it wouldn't.

 

[Ask For More]

I tried to use 'beefstew' as my email password, but my computer rejected it because it wasn't stroganoff.

 

[Ask For More]

Google are designing a new car, I think it runs off a search engine.

 

[done_got_old]

Are you feeling blue? Yes, cyan.

 

[done_got_old]

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Does an apple a day really keep the doctor away?
Yes, but only if you aim it well enough.

 

[done_got_old]

I should have been sad when my flashlight batteries died, but I was delighted.

 

[mnbreastluver]

A fine is a tax for not following rules. A tax is a fine for following rules.

 

[done_got_old]

The lumberjack loved his new computer. He especially enjoyed logging in.

 

[done_got_old]

This garment is made out of the feathers of starving parrots. It's polypropylene.

 

[mnbreastluver]

The broom is the only invention to truly sweep the nation.

 

[done_got_old]

I went to the dentist without lunch, and he gave me a plate.

 

[done_got_old]

https://pics.me.me/darth-vaders-rarely-photographed-wife-ella-ella-vader%F0%9F%98%82%F0%9F%98%82%F0%9F%98%82-12144747.png

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you sweat in a sweater, you are the sweater.

 

[done_got_old]

Lifelong counterfeiters never make any real money.

 

[mnbreastluver]

A race that ended in Finland is an actual race to the Finnish line.

 

[done_got_old]

I met two policemen in a lift, I realized then I was going down.

 

[done_got_old]

For a holistic diet, eat lots of Swiss cheese.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Holding back a fart is something only an asshole can do.

 

[done_got_old]

​A sophisticated dinner party and the guests have enjoyed an excellent meal with relaxed and intelligent conversation.

A male guest lets out a triumphant loud and prolonged fart. The man of the house is appalled.

"How dare you fart in front of my wife" he says.

"Sorry" says guest. "I didn't know it was her turn".