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Coated his driveway with toothpaste to avoid decay.
Spends 4 hours a day looking at the video feed from her front door to see if that squirrel comes back.
Gives mud bathes to stray cats.
Makes home movies of moths flying into light bulbs
Is trying to ban me from Lit and shut down this thread because I posted a lie about him ...
has bigger balls than a elephant
shaves his entire body every night before he goes to sleep
Bought 400 cans of shaving cream, pasted his own label on them and tried to sell them for twice the amount.
Spikes his Hollandaise sauce with marshmallow peeps.
Has the full set of Garbage Pail Kids
Walks into the umbrella store trice a week, but never makes a purchase
Has a different coloured trenchcoat for each day of the week.
Feels sexy in heels and a little red dress, but only on rainy days.
Pours water on people using a watering can and asks them if they like “singing in the rain”
Is NEVER away.
He's a real life virgin