Possible No Fetishes

[live4thebj]

I'll definitely look into it. Only use a few and not often. But hopefully they are good ones

Quantity. Send out 10 messages maybe two replies. Tip: NEVER EVER loan them money!

 

[LoveOlderLove]

Quantity. Send out 10 messages maybe two replies. Tip: NEVER EVER loan them money!

I'll definitely start looking! And definitely wouldn't do that, but thanks for the tip!

 

[SPARTAN047]

Asexual (Ace) people.

 

[Britva415]

Asexual (Ace) people.

Wait till you hear about nonsexual fetish

 

[Sweetdreams71]

Do you believe it is possible a person has absolutely no fetishes?

Define fetish, or do you mean something that one finds attractive. We all have something we find attractive in someone, like you said some men like fishnets. I would say women like a nice tailored suit jacket. We do think differently (men vs women)

She also has an issue that her pussy does not get wet and it is tight…and I mean it is really tight. Without lube I am not making entry. When I do make entry it literally feels like someone grabbing hold of my cock and squeezing it as hard as they can and I can barely pump in and out.

We talked to doctors and etc. and still getting nowhere.

You need to go to a menopause or gynecology specialist. Definitely something not good about that.

Yesterday evening I caught her in a good mood and had a very nice open conversation about sex, her lack of drive, and so on.

One of the things I asked her is there anything that turns her on? And I mean anything. Whether that is watching guys ride bulls (that did it for my ex-wife). Some food she eats (again I know this had an affect on woman). She swears she does not have a fetish.

I would bet her hormone levels are depleted. No hormones no desire, and for a reference. When a woman gives birth, or a man breaks a leg, etc, extreme pain, and it hurts so bad you throw up, can't breathe, pass out from pain. Now a year later, you remember that it hurt, and it was extreme, but it's a memory, you don't remember the actual pain. That is how it is with many in menopause, I remember I loved sex, it was a need and a desire and craved it. But now since the hormones are gone you no longer need it and you don't miss it. It sucks....cause it was so important.

Then she said back in the day she would masturbate a lot. I then asked, okay so when you masturbate what do you picture in your mind. Turns out it is very vanilla; basically the same stuff I done to her many times over. Eat her pussy and fuck her. What she sees in her head is just that but the man has no face.

I have masturbated many times, and sorry to disappoint the men, never thought of a man or anything other than how it physically feels and how to achieve that orgasm. And as we age orgasms are fewer, not as good, and unfortunately getting wet, well that is a memory for the most part. And don't worry, your lady knows it as well.

I even offered we try to find some porn that is like that and not the over the top shit. But she declined.

I heard from others (plus me) that porn once we get older, is just a reminder how we will never be that sexy young hottie again, not a turn on....

She even mentioned maybe it is time I get some on the side and i refuse to do that. I am not going to risk a 14 year relationship for some side pussy and/or mouth. Sorry but not worth it. I rather jerk off till I die then risk our relationship.

She obviously loves you very much, if she said this. She knows how important sex is to you and she wants you to be happy, what a truly unselfish gesture.

Try and find something that you used to do together, if you went to a club or concert, and when you came home and she was all over you. I know I love a good date night out with friends a few drinks, and dancing!

 

[ZfrkS62]

Do you believe it is possible a person has absolutely no fetishes? I will go into detail so expect a detailed hopefully not too long post.

I been with my fiance going on 14 years this September. In the beginning we had sex often and it was quite enjoyable.

She is not a sexual person but she did just enough to make it enjoyable for me and put effort into giving me head knowing how much I love blowjobs.

For several years now her sex drive just went away. She is going to be 49 this year in August. I was expecting when she turned 40 that she would become this sex maniac based on things I heard and read of this happening to woman and that did not happen.

She also has an issue that her pussy does not get wet and it is tight…and I mean it is really tight. Without lube I am not making entry. When I do make entry it literally feels like someone grabbing hold of my cock and squeezing it as hard as they can and I can barely pump in and out.

We talked to doctors and etc. and still getting nowhere.

Yesterday evening I caught her in a good mood and had a very nice open conversation about sex, her lack of drive, and so on.

One of the things I asked her is there anything that turns her on? And I mean anything. Whether that is watching guys ride bulls (that did it for my ex-wife). Some food she eats (again I know this had an affect on woman). She swears she does not have a fetish.

Then she said back in the day she would masturbate a lot. I then asked, okay so when you masturbate what do you picture in your mind. Turns out it is very vanilla; basically the same stuff I done to her many times over. Eat her pussy and fuck her. What she sees in her head is just that but the man has no face.

I even offered we try to find some porn that is like that and not the over the top shit. But she declined.

She even mentioned maybe it is time I get some on the side and i refuse to do that. I am not going to risk a 14 year relationship for some side pussy and/or mouth. Sorry but not worth it. I rather jerk off till I die then risk our relationship.

Anyone can relate to this?

100% my wife. Not a single kink or fetish. She's been taking about the same two semi fantasies for almost the entire time we've been together. I

One is being rescued from the side of the road by a stranger after her car breaks down, yet she has not once come into the garage to act this out while I'm working on any of our cars.

The other is always what she SHOULD have done on our first weekend together.

I asked her if, for my birthday, we could act out one of two of HER fantasies, hoping she'd reveal one. Nope. Nada.

Our sex life has been just shy of lukewarm for years and I just can't get the temp turned up.

You might find something worthwhile in the podcast in this link. They talk a lot about the physiology and varied effects of menopause and ways to mitigate some of them.

This link is to the Spotify podcast “Science VS” episode about menopause. The host is a bit goofy but all of the science is backed up with available footnotes.

My wife listens to that podcast, and I can't stand the host for more than 10 minutes. For some reason, I picture Rebel Wilson and I'm instantly annoyed.

I didn't know they did an episode on Menopause, now I'm wondering if this is where she got the idea that sex won't be enjoyable once she hits it.

If you want an amusing medical podcast, check out Sawbones. Goes through the history of medicine and what passed for it in the early days.

 

[LMWM321]

I've posted this elsewhere, but it's relevant to the discussion. Especially about menopause.

Menopause is an asshole. The hormonal changes not only rob a woman of her ability to create a life - something which she may have felt partly defined her as a woman - but also leads to weight gain, loss of muscle tone, vaginal dryness, heat-flashes, insomnia, etc.. and of course, diminished libido. What is not clear is whether a drop in libido is partly an emotional consequence of those physical changes or entirely a result of the hormone changes. ..In any case, a woman feeling less confident in her body is a BIG part of menopause and a big part of diminished interest in sex.

So what's a husband to do? ..Make sure your wife knows she's still beautiful and tell her why! ..I don't mean just giving her sexual reassurances like, "baby, you're still fuckable!" Blech!! I mean, find specific things about her that you find beautiful and tell her - not just once or twice, but regularly. And say it like you mean it! ..And encourage her to spend time and money on herself doing things like spa visits, massages, Yoga, etc.. And if you don't already, start exercising together. ..Maybe long walks, bike rides, etc.. Exercise is important component of physical health, mental health and sexual health. Yoga is my wife's new preferred exercise and it's been great for her. She lost all the weight she gained from Menopause plus another 10-15lbs. Yoga is just incredible.

Regarding sex... Quit thinking of orgasm as the goal of sex. The goal of sex is to have mutually enjoyable physical contact that brings you closer - and that's it! Orgasm may sometimes be a consequence, but it's not the goal. My wife started to dread sex because she thought I'd be disappointed if she didn't orgasm. The perils of expecting an Orgasm was the subject of our first session w/ a sex therapist and its impact was huge. My wife still has them, but much less often and they're much softer. Her orgasm success rate is probably 20% or less, but we enjoy having had sex 100% of the time.

And guys.. Don't think like a guy! Don't think, "I'll help her get her horniness back by buying her more sex toys, bigger dildos, and share with her crazier sex fantasies or show her wilder porn!" ..Unless she tells you that's what she wants you may be doing the very opposite of what she needs.

I remember one such clumsy effort.. I decided to show my wife group-sex porn thinking maybe that was an unspoken fantasy of hers, and seeing it might excite her and rekindle her desire. Her reply after seeing it? "Why would seeing a bunch of gorgeous, tight-bodied 30-somethings having crazy sex with screaming orgasms do ANYTHING for me but make me feel WORSE about my body and inability to orgasm?" She was absolutely right and though my intentions were good, I felt terrible. These days, when I show her porn now - which is not often but sometimes just to show an idea for a position or different toy - I find clips of mature women with real-world bodies engaging in real world sex.

I'm happy to say that our sex life is back on track though the sex is and will forever be different. There are times when she eagerly wants PIV penetration (with a 1/4 tube of lube), but more often she uses her suction toy as I worship her feet, then breasts, then masturbate in front of her or on her. ...We do have crazy nights w/ butt plugs, pegging (her to me), titty-fucking, ass-eating (me to her) etc.. which are things we NEVER did before menopause.

Amazingly, dealing with her menopause has brought us closer by making sex much more intentional and helping us discuss openly our respective itches. But now, the singular goal is to just experience pleasure together and NOT to necessarily orgasm.

 

[SPARTAN047]

Wait till you hear about nonsexual fetish

A fetish for Literotica? How quaint.

 

[MaturemanAJ]

Do you believe it is possible a person has absolutely no fetishes? I will go into detail so expect a detailed hopefully not too long post.

I been with my fiance going on 14 years this September. In the beginning we had sex often and it was quite enjoyable.

She is not a sexual person but she did just enough to make it enjoyable for me and put effort into giving me head knowing how much I love blowjobs.

For several years now her sex drive just went away. She is going to be 49 this year in August. I was expecting when she turned 40 that she would become this sex maniac based on things I heard and read of this happening to woman and that did not happen.

She also has an issue that her pussy does not get wet and it is tight…and I mean it is really tight. Without lube I am not making entry. When I do make entry it literally feels like someone grabbing hold of my cock and squeezing it as hard as they can and I can barely pump in and out.

We talked to doctors and etc. and still getting nowhere.

Yesterday evening I caught her in a good mood and had a very nice open conversation about sex, her lack of drive, and so on.

One of the things I asked her is there anything that turns her on? And I mean anything. Whether that is watching guys ride bulls (that did it for my ex-wife). Some food she eats (again I know this had an affect on woman). She swears she does not have a fetish.

Then she said back in the day she would masturbate a lot. I then asked, okay so when you masturbate what do you picture in your mind. Turns out it is very vanilla; basically the same stuff I done to her many times over. Eat her pussy and fuck her. What she sees in her head is just that but the man has no face.

I even offered we try to find some porn that is like that and not the over the top shit. But she declined.

She even mentioned maybe it is time I get some on the side and i refuse to do that. I am not going to risk a 14 year relationship for some side pussy and/or mouth. Sorry but not worth it. I rather jerk off till I die then risk our relationship.

Anyone can relate to this?

I think anyone that has been in a long-term aging relationship can relate at least a little.
I can only offer what I experienced as she transitioned through pre menopause and then menopause.
Our relationship struggled due to her losing her interest it appeared in sex, I talked and talked and talked to let her know we are struggling in this relationship. Well we figured out a few things we are two different individuals she wasn't struggling at all ahe was totally happy with where the relationship was at.
I started to do things on my own to try and find answers to how I was feeling and will go into greater detail in a DM if you want.
Bottom line she finally realized she was happy as a clam and I was ready to leave the relationship and once she figured that out she started to listen instead of in one ear out the other.

Some marriages seem to be happy with no sex but look on these pages and not many senior men are happy about it.
Soon as a man says ok and starts to golf more, fish more or whatever then he isn't a loving husband anymore.

Yup she visited the doctor and we agreed their options with the side effects just weren't an option we would consider.
Getting older isn't easy physically or psychologically.

I have always loved giving oral and now I do it before, during and after sex to help the situation.

She says that we need to bottle and sell my precum because it's the best natural lube there is.

Keep talking together and hopefully you two find a happy middle ground.
If another woman is honestly ok with her discuss it in detail.
If she says yes and you can't do it then you deal with the cards you have been dealt.

 

[Baztrachian]

I would strongly suggest you see another doctor. If your wife's vagina is so tight as to not allow penetration at all, there could be a medical issue. Good luck.

Fibroids would be my first suspicion here.