How does a bi-newbie guy come out to his wife?

[OralAllOver]

Usually these "how do I say" questions have an unstated motivation behind them.

Like (not putting words in your mouth, just giving examples)
"How do I say it so that the other person doesn't get mad?" or
"How do I say it so that they'll agree to give me something I want?" or
"How do I say it so that..." some other motivation succeeds.

Because the answer to "how do I say it" is trivially simple. I can't tell what your unstated motivation here is. But the answer to that will have a huge role in determining what to say next and how to say it.

Trivially easy? WHAT?

Not a change of subject: have u considered psychotropic medications? Maybe two of everything....
And regular empathy boosters

 

[Britva415]

Trivially easy? WHAT?

I’m assuming you have a tongue in your head and aren’t medically intubated, and have no other condition rendering you functionally mute.

You could do it right this instant if you wanted to.

The reason you don’t isn’t because you can’t talk, it’s because the agenda has other priorities besides just getting away with saying the words out loud, as if one could without any consequences or blowback.

Saying “honey, I’m bi” isn’t any harder than saying “please pass the salt.” That isn’t the hard part. The hard part is having it go the way you want it to, which is why it’s important to know and to say what that looks like instead of just asking “how do I say…” without spelling out what the agenda really is.

(I’m not trying to make this personal. I don’t know you or what your situation is. The “you” I’m referring to here is a generic and impersonal “you,” given some hypothetical person who finds theirself in a situation like what prompted the original question.)

 

[OralAllOver]

1) Emotions r real. This is not for debate.
2) Sexual "morality" can trigger wildly destructive and judgmental reactions. Also not for debate
3) Spouses have great power involving everything and everyone you value
4) Hurting a spouse should be avoided if possible, a sometimes fraught determination
5) Dude, your way, your thoughts r not the only valuable ones. Open your mind and heart