Yes again a handjob is most intimate act for so many reasons, kissing for a start. The varying techniques is intimate in itself.I've always thought this. I'm not entirely sure why. But to me (in both real life and in fiction), oral sex is the most intimate sexual act there is. I look forward to writing oral sex far more than writing penetrative sex.
Maybe it's because our sexy organs were always designed to fit together; because penetrative sex is, in some way at least, a physical process of reproduction. Oral sex transcends that natural fact. It is not a process of evolution (at least in the same way).
Maybe it's because oral sex is fundamentally a gift, rather than a mutual experience. There are exceptions, but giving oral sex doesn't have to involve receiving pleasure in return (physical pleasure, that is). You are stimulating your partner without being stimulated in return. You are gifting them an experience that you yourself are not experiencing. I'll admit that in this case, there is something to be said about the reverse of this - in penetrative sex, you are experiencing a mutual thing together, and that bond can be extremely powerful.
Anyway, maybe - and I think this might be the reason for me - it's because oral sex involves your face. A person's face is their most human aspect. When I'm love with someone, it is their face and their smile which I fall in love with. That is the most unique part of their body, the part which I connect to most. It's their face, for goodness' sake! Cute!!! So, when a person is using their mouth to pleasure you, they are using the most human part of their body to pleasure you; the most personal part of their body. That feels more intimate and more connected to me than using sexual organs.
This all applies (in my opinion) to erotica too. My favourite sex scenes to write are oral ones, and my favourite sex scenes to read are oral ones. It feels more tactile, somehow. It feels more intimate. Part of the reason writing oral sex can be more fun is that there is simply more to write about. People have less control over their sexual organs than they do their tongue and mouth, so there is less specificity to get into when it comes to penetrative sex.
I don't know what others think about the matter, and I'm not sure that I'm even expecting a reply to this thread, but I felt like trying to articulate myself. I'll also add that, more important than the sexual act is the context: oral sex and penetrative sex can both be supremely non-intimate. They can both be forms of fast physical pleasure. But in the context of romantic sex, I think oral sex is more intimate when done properly.
