Oral sex is more intimate than penetrative sex.

[Cagivagurl]

Perhaps it's not more intimate than other forms of sex, but...
Giving your partner oral sex is a precious gift.
You're saying, "Babe, this is all for you."
She can lay there, and bathe in the hopefully wonderful bliss. Do nothing but close her eyes and enjoy...
It is the gift of bliss... Removed from having to participate... She doesn't have to worry about your enjoyment. Where her fingers are, is she doing the right thing. She can just luxuriate in your desire to give her something special. Yeah it might take a while, but she can just enjoy....

So is it more intimate.... Nah, it's sexual, but... (Always a but) In a way, it's more personal.

Cagivagurl

 

[Sienna62]

It’s such a nice thing to be able to give someone pleasure.

100%

 

[Nellie60]

Sometimes a hand job/fingering can be more intimate than any of them because of this, all the things OP said, and because there can be more immediate eye contact and kissing and cuddling.

People in the throes of extreme arousal/orgasm tend to go off into their own world for a few moments, but when one of them is fully present and grounding the other in the relationship with eye contact, it can be incredibly powerful.

Some of the same goes for masturbation while one only watches.

Manual stimulation is often portrayed as what you "settle for" when the other options are off the table for whatever reason, but for people in a truly intim8 relationship, it can be the best thing for some moments.

I agree l am a fan of handjobs and fingering of your partner simply due to close intimacy that can be achieved.

You look into their eyes, kiss and really make out.

 

[Belegon]

as a self-proclaimed "oral aficionado" I definitively agree with the portrayal of the act of oral sex as being incredibly intimate. It is more enjoyable, in some ways, than penetrative sex. Yet I often find myself wondering what makes it so enjoyable to give for others... I have no doubts or second thoughts about saying that it is the thing I enjoy the most, so I wonder at the disfunction within myself that makes me wonder why others enjoy giving as much as I do. There is also the fact that I want it to be the first thing I do with a new lover, despite the fact that our intimacy has not yet been given time to fully develop. Part of that is selfish. I want to perform for her in that way first not for her sake, necessarily, but because It's what I enjoy most. And it doesn't always work out that more intimacy develops. There are probably at least a half dozen women in my sexual history where my going down on them was the end-all and be-all of the sexual relationship. I don't begrudge any of those times, nor do I see them as somehow "lesser" lovers or relationships. And while there are some of those partners where I truly wish our sex lives had become more deep and varied, I don't feel those relationships were cheated and incomplete. I just wish there had been more, usually because of the emotional connection.

That stipulated, the emotional connection is what usually drives my desire for a woman anyways. I can watch a video and say to myself, "damn, that girl is HAWT!" but I have very rarely chosen someone to be my real life lover simply because of attractiveness (as a matter of fact, I'm having trouble recalling even a single incident of such.) The basis of my lust is almost always a function of how I feel, not what I see.

 

[Live4themoments]

Oral sex is more intimate because it involves our 5 senses: taste, sight, smell, touch (via mouth) and hearing. Intercourse involves touch, sometimes sight, sometimes hearing. For something to stimulate 5 senses it represents a wonderful, erotic opportunity. Intercourse can easily be cleaned up after (unless finishing inside). Oral is the sharing of something highly personal, our mouths, as we are willing to taste, eat, and swallow something that is a part of the other person (even if don't swallow you still have part of your partner in mouth and taste a little).

 

[Melon_Morph]

I agree that oral is very intimate and Im surprised at how many people seem to not like it in erotica. Perhaps they see it as just foreplay and are disappointed when penetrative sex is not the end goal of a sex scene.

I personally have always found receiving a sloppy blowjob (preferably with hands in there for added assistance) to be the most intense sexual pleasure. Beyond just the physical sensation, it is the experience of someone focused on pleasuring you to the best of their ability. I also think dirty talk incorporates really well. It allows for those statements to be punctuated by various other sounds like slurping, gasping, etc.

Similarly, performing cunnilingus is an act focused on giving of pleasure. Trying to stay in tune with what is effective while still varying the technique, all the while stimulating them with your hands in whatever way they prefer.

 

[Belegon]

**confused** She asks: "is a penis in my throat NOT penetrative sex?"

It may be for you dear, but I have not ventured to such an act since the years right after high school when I was really trying hard to do EVERYTHING so I could figure out what I really liked... and even the most generous sized clits don't reach my throat, no matter how hard I may suck.

 

[P0peye]

I agree that oral sex is immeasurably more intimate than other forms of penetrative sex. In my case, I'm a Cocksucker. I love giving other men blowjobs, or more correctly, I love letting other men fuck my throat. As a biological male, I have 2 orifices available for sexual activity. I'm repulsed by anal sex because of the scatological implications, the remaining option being my mouth, the other hole found at the opposite end of the alimentary canal.
This is the ultimate surrender. My mouth and my throat comprise the orifice that I use to speak, eat and most importantly, to breathe, and to allow someone to fuck me in that essential opening places me in an extremely vulnerable position. With a very thick cock forced all the way down my throat, I'm utterly unable to eat, speak or breathe, leaving me completely at his mercy. And I find that to be incredibly exciting!!
For a man like myself to elect to become a submissive Cocksucker is extremely humiliating. And to risk my survival by allowing him to block my throat and control my access to oxygen is, to me, highly erotic and arousing.
I love sucking cock! I love being a Cocksucker. I love being savagely throat fucked!!!

 

[calmlikeabomb]

Oral sex is more intimate because it involves our 5 senses: taste, sight, smell, touch (via mouth) and hearing. Intercourse involves touch, sometimes sight, sometimes hearing. For something to stimulate 5 senses it represents a wonderful, erotic opportunity. Intercourse can easily be cleaned up after (unless finishing inside). Oral is the sharing of something highly personal, our mouths, as we are willing to taste, eat, and swallow something that is a part of the other person (even if don't swallow you still have part of your partner in mouth and taste a little).

Well said. It's so intimate. I am literally consuming her, devouring her, feeling the little changes in her scent, her taste, her body heat. And the best part is there is no rush, just my mouth and fingers and her whimpers and moans.

 

[Trionyx]

It might be proposed that cunnilingus is more intimate than intercourse for the male but the opposite could be the case for the female with whom intercourse is more intimate than fellatio (assuming heterosexual contacts.)

A female literally opens herself for penile penetration, allowing the male into her, which can foster closeness and intimacy. When she gives head, usually she is more in control and the interaction is her primarily giving pleasure. (Assuming no face fucking here.)

For reasons described in other posts, cunnilingus can be conceived as more intimate for the male.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I've given head to way more men than I've had sex with... And I've given head to 99% of the men I've had sex with.

Intercourse is very, very intimate to me.
I believe men view oral sex on a female to be very intimate, IMO. More so than I view it to be...

 

[Noor]

It's an interesting topic. I've always felt that oral is extremely intimate, especially because usually eye contact can be established and maintained, and nothing is more intimate than that. The main thing that keeps it from being more erotic than penetrative intercourse is that the giver can't talk while performing, and I'm a major fan of dirty talk. OTOH, I can see where someone would find that aspect to be very intimate indeed, in that the giver sacrifices the right to communicate verbally for the purpose of giving the receiver pleasure.

Maybe to males and maybe 69 to some but I don’t find it so.
I prefer skin to skin, I want to feel my lovers body against mine in some way, I want to be able to see their faces, esp their eyes, I find kissing much more intimate than oral. I want something that can’t be replaced by a toy and yes, there are licking toys, and sucking toys, and sleeves.

 

[stickygirl]

Giving oral sex to a man is an excellent opportunity for planning and formulating ideas. Perhaps Sea Mist Green would create a restful mood in the bathroom, so long as it was one of those kitchen/bathroom paint varieties that resist moisture? Will they recruit someone from outside the company when Derek retires or will we all have an opportunity for promotion?

When giving oral sex to a man, it's important to stop after their crisis or else they complain it's "too much, honey". Sex with a man is like a soccer match: we go off at half time for a cuppa, then change ends. So long as we put a ball into the back of the net, everyone goes home happy.

Oral sex with woman is like consecutive black runs down the Matterhorn: everything looks spectacular, there's plenty of heart-stopping, gasping for breath moments piqued by the very real risk of personal injury. No break at half time - it's straight back onto the chairlift, red faced and giggling. Also slippery.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Giving oral sex to a man is an excellent opportunity for planning and formulating ideas. Perhaps Sea Mist Green would create a restful mood in the bathroom, so long as it was one of those kitchen/bathroom paint varieties that resist moisture? Will they recruit someone from outside the company when Derek retires or will we all have an opportunity for promotion?

You are such a romantic, Stickygirl. How on earth we managed to write our lyrical French piece, I really don't know

 

[SPARTAN047]

I think except for creampies, yes.

 

[MillieDynamite]

For me, passionate kissing is more intimate than anything else. Have I said that before?

 

[Erozetta]

Hand holding is especially intimate for me.

Which sounds insane.

But it's probably one of the only things involving touching another person that didn't come with stipulations or expectations attached.

It calms me when I'm in the verge of a panic attack, and for anyone to be able to touch me in that state and not worsen the situation is rare.

I can kiss, fuck, and suck pretty much anyone without much thought or need for intimacy involved. But letting someone hold my hand means I trust them, probably with my life. It's untainted and pure and real. It's simple but powerful.

And, yeah, it's a bit insane to find something so mundane intimate. I don't remember all of the sexual moments I've had with people, but I remember the moments when I knew I trusted someone enough to hold their hand when seeking comfort from them. It was always a "first day of school upset fluttery stomach" feeling being uncertain if they would let me hold their hand or not. It would absolutely crush me to have someone reject my attempt to hold their hand.

Hugs would be next on my list. Head on the shoulder, deep sigh, falling into the other person type of hugs. Which, now that I think about it, is also about being able to be vulnerable with someone I trust.

 

[burgwad]

So then 69ing must be the very highest form of intimacy?

But no for real this has turned into a surprisingly nuanced discussion. Props, everybody.

 

[Dearelliot]

I think having my tongue up inside a woman's ass is very intimate!

 

[MillieDynamite]

Really?

I think having my tongue up inside a woman's ass is very intimate!

 

[Dearelliot]

Really?

My wife wont let me,

 

[MillieDynamite]

In the words of Gomer Pile, "Surprise, surprise, surprise!"

My wife wont let me,

 

[Dearelliot]

But that's okay, the nice ladies I pay let me.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Oh, my word, that's nasty and when I was the kind you paid, that was hard "No, fucking way!" You got to have standards and limits, especially on the streets. Cause fucking money isn't everything.

But that's okay, the nice ladies I pay let me.

 

[Dearelliot]

Oh, my word, that's nasty and when I was the kind you paid, that was hard "No, fucking way!" You got to have standards and limits, especially on the streets. Cause fucking money isn't everything.

I'm surprised. I haven't noticed many ladies saying no to that over the years...I mean working ladies...or frontal oral sex either. Even the massage ladies have agreed to allow.