Open this thread and you'll be sorry

[A Desert Rose]

I won't tell

I'm counting on it. ;-) Some things have to be kept to ourselves, huh?

 

[Kajira Callista]

I'm counting on it. ;-) Some things have to be kept to ourselves, huh?

giggles and hands you a huge bag of reeses

 

[Bunnydancer]

I just read through this thread and I am horrified that no one has taken this from her side of the story. Desert Rose, you have every right to do as you please. So what that you are in a D/S relationship. So what that you "ruined his weekend". You chose to do something for you. His reactions are the uncalled for ones not yours. IF he cared half as much for you he wouldn't have you as his "girl on the side". He is manipulating you. He is using you. You need to stand up for your choices and decisions. Do you believe he will leave his girlfriend for you? Do you want him as yours? If you want one thing and he wants another this relationship is going to go no where. If he can't "suck it up" that you made a choice for yourself and he wants to try to ruin your fun by hanging all over you while you are doing something for you HE is the one at fault. Screw all of this he is my Dom shit. You are a human being. He is the one with a woman on the side.

From what I have read in this thread he's not a Dom. He's a control freak. He has you dancing on strings knowing he has no commitment to you. He wants you as his little pet that he can have when he doesn't want his girlfriend. Fuck if I'd ever let a man do that to me. Even if I was a submissive that wouldn't happen.

 

[Bunnydancer]

I see alot of conflict. You speak of choosing a relationship with him because he wouldn't get too close to you and that he had other comittments. Yet you also speak of your displeasure that you have to compete for his time and attention.

You said you got into this and agreed to his stipulations and conditions... yet now that you are in it, you don't abide by them. You even resent them and resent it when he is unhappy that you abide by them.

It sounds a little to me like you want to be the one who is special enough to make him change.

I've never seen that end well. No matter what kind of relationship you are in, you have to accept people for who they are.

It never works well to take "Mr. I-Guess-He'll-Do-For-Now" and try to turn him into "Mr. Right" through conditioning and manipulation.

Does it work for someone to turn a person who has strong feelings for you into your puppet?

 

[Kajira Callista]

I just read through this thread and I am horrified that no one has taken this from her side of the story. Desert Rose, you have every right to do as you please. So what that you are in a D/S relationship. So what that you "ruined his weekend". You chose to do something for you. His reactions are the uncalled for ones not yours. IF he cared half as much for you he wouldn't have you as his "girl on the side". He is manipulating you. He is using you. You need to stand up for your choices and decisions. Do you believe he will leave his girlfriend for you? Do you want him as yours? If you want one thing and he wants another this relationship is going to go no where. If he can't "suck it up" that you made a choice for yourself and he wants to try to ruin your fun by hanging all over you while you are doing something for you HE is the one at fault. Screw all of this he is my Dom shit. You are a human being. He is the one with a woman on the side.

From what I have read in this thread he's not a Dom. He's a control freak. He has you dancing on strings knowing he has no commitment to you. He wants you as his little pet that he can have when he doesn't want his girlfriend. Fuck if I'd ever let a man do that to me. Even if I was a submissive that wouldn't happen.

ADR is no fool. She is where she is because she chose to be...and she owns up to that.

 

[Bunnydancer]

ADR is no fool. She is where she is because she chose to be...and she owns up to that.

I do not know her so I will assume that she isn't a fool. Owning up to it is good as well. I am simply putting in my input on the issue. My opinion. You know. The things that everyone has. I just don't like seeing a woman have to tolerate the behavior of a man like she has had to. If she meant so much to him he wouldn't have had the fits it sounds like he had. He would have supported her choice.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Woman, it is not that you are not special enough for him, it is that you are too special and perhaps he just isn't able to handle or acknowledge that. I know you say he is right for you, but is that in all ways, or just the ones you choose to concentrate on. I always think that if someone is right for another, that other person is not left feeling angry, hurt, wanting, less than, in all the bad ways, only in good ways which make their day. It sounds like your day is far from being made. Admittedly I can see the allure in feeling some of the things he has wanted you to feel, but it sounds like you have passed that point where it is a thrill and has begun to go on the destructive cycle. I hope I am wrong, and I have faith you can make the decisions which are right for you...just remember we think you are fairly special here.

Catalina

 

[graceanne]

I want Him and I want to be only for Him... I don't share well.

First, I am so sorry that you're going through this. *hugs*

Second, if you know you don't share well, why'd you get in a relationship with a man who's got a girlfriend? It sounds, and I reserve the right to be wrong (please don't yell at me if I am) like you let lonliness rush you into a relationship that isn't right for you. You should miserable, not like you're fulfilled or getting anything out of this relationship. I understand you're 'crazy about him', so this is gonna suck, but I think you should let him go.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Does it work for someone to turn a person who has strong feelings for you into your puppet?

You have to take into account that Mr. Mann was posting some of those things before he'd had a chance to read everything else I'd had to say. He was posting to just my initial thread post. His tenor changed as he read more. And no offense was meant by him or taken by me.

On the other hand, I appreciate your opinions in this thread and your view on my situation.

Thank you for reading this thread to begin with. And thank you for posting to it.

It's nice to meet you. ;-)

 

[Bunnydancer]

You have to take into account that Mr. Mann was posting some of those things before he'd had a chance to read everything else I'd had to say. He was posting to just my initial thread post. His tenor changed as he read more. And no offense was meant by him or taken by me.

On the other hand, I appreciate your opinions in this thread and your view on my situation.

Thank you for reading this thread to begin with. And thank you for posting to it.

It's nice to meet you. ;-)

The pleasure's mine.

You seem like a strong woman from what I've read so far and I believe you will be as strong as you need to be in this case's regard. Just never completely give up your free will to any man.

 

[Recidiva]

The pleasure's mine.

You seem like a strong woman from what I've read so far and I believe you will be as strong as you need to be in this case's regard. Just never completely give up your free will to any man.

Unless he's really, really good. And I mean really good. *nods*

 

[Bunnydancer]

Unless he's really, really good. And I mean really good. *nods*

Even then these days I couldn't. But that's not an issue.

 

[Recidiva]

Even then these days I couldn't. But that's not an issue.

How 'bout just for a few hours, could you go for that?

 

[leeroy jenkins]

Desert Rose I would not persume to give any relationship advice on how to deal with your SO, but I can say something about taking care of yourself. Your in this relationship and you get something out of it, be it just having someone at times to spend time with to the other end and having a play partner. Only you know what needs you get met from it, but there does come a time when you might want to evaluate if getting those needs met is worth the cost your going through.

You are the only one that can take care of you, and from reading some of the posts it sounds like he sure is hell is taking care of himself. Good luck in whatever you decision is be it stay and deal or getting out.

 

[Bunnydancer]

How 'bout just for a few hours, could you go for that?

I could be convinced I think. I just don't know if my husband would ever want that. He seems to be quite content with the roles we have.

 

[Recidiva]

I could be convinced I think. I just don't know if my husband would ever want that. He seems to be quite content with the roles we have.

Fabulous. As long as you're reasonable about it

 

[A Desert Rose]

Woman, it is not that you are not special enough for him, it is that you are too special and perhaps he just isn't able to handle or acknowledge that. I know you say he is right for you, but is that in all ways, or just the ones you choose to concentrate on. I always think that if someone is right for another, that other person is not left feeling angry, hurt, wanting, less than, in all the bad ways, only in good ways which make their day. It sounds like your day is far from being made. Admittedly I can see the allure in feeling some of the things he has wanted you to feel, but it sounds like you have passed that point where it is a thrill and has begun to go on the destructive cycle. I hope I am wrong, and I have faith you can make the decisions which are right for you...just remember we think you are fairly special here.

Catalina

Let's talk about special... He complains to me that she won't give Him head and when He can finally coerce her to do it, she won't swallow. It just infuriates Him. Nevermind a good ol' assfucking. That won't ever be happening. What a princess.

He's the most Domly Dom, I've ever met. Marquis had a thread, I think on being a natural dominant? Well, that would be Him. He has alpha male written all over him. It's what drew me to him, to begin with. And she hasn't got a submissive nerve in her body.

I am the outlet He needs. Good ol' Roxanne bends to His will at every turn. And He loves being able to exercise that beastly side. I'm the one who accepts and welcomes it.

But you're right catalina, I'm beginning to think that He's only right for me in certain ways... not in all ways. I've got to step back and look at the big picture. If He cares about me at all, He'll let me do that.

 

[Bunnydancer]

Fabulous. As long as you're reasonable about it

I'm as unreasonable as he wants me to be. It's always for the best that the sub be the one to set the limits and standards. That way I can give him the gift of dominance that he craves.

 

[Recidiva]

Let's talk about special... He complains to me that she won't give Him head and when He can finally coerce her to do it, she won't swallow. It just infuriates Him. Nevermind a good ol' assfucking. That won't ever be happening. What a princess.

He's the most Domly Dom, I've ever met. Marquis had a thread, I think on being a natural dominant? Well, that would be Him. He has alpha male written all over him. It's what drew me to him, to begin with. And she hasn't got a submissive nerve in her body.

I am the outlet He needs. Good ol' Roxanne bends to His will at every turn. And He loves being able to exercise that beastly side. I'm the one who accepts and welcomes it.

But you're right catalina, I'm beginning to think that He's only right for me in certain ways... not in all ways. I've got to step back and look at the big picture. If He cares about me at all, He'll let me do that.

Well, I'm sorry, but a guy that has a girl for looks isn't Dominant. He's whipped by society's idea of who he should be with. And not being able to convince any woman of what he wants definitely disqualifies him, particularly if he can't pick them right the first time.

Fuck him. He's busted, toss him back. Stamp his ass for the next woman. "Grade A Loss"

 

[Recidiva]

I'm as unreasonable as he wants me to be. It's always for the best that the sub be the one to set the limits and standards. That way I can give him the gift of dominance that he craves.

I just talk a lot, which he likes, but he also likes getting me to shut up. Win-Win.

 

[Bunnydancer]

Let's talk about special... He complains to me that she won't give Him head and when He can finally coerce her to do it, she won't swallow. It just infuriates Him. Nevermind a good ol' assfucking. That won't ever be happening. What a princess.

He's the most Domly Dom, I've ever met. Marquis had a thread, I think on being a natural dominant? Well, that would be Him. He has alpha male written all over him. It's what drew me to him, to begin with. And she hasn't got a submissive nerve in her body.

I am the outlet He needs. Good ol' Roxanne bends to His will at every turn. And He loves being able to exercise that beastly side. I'm the one who accepts and welcomes it.

But you're right catalina, I'm beginning to think that He's only right for me in certain ways... not in all ways. I've got to step back and look at the big picture. If He cares about me at all, He'll let me do that.

Alpha male doesn't always mean he's a good Dom. Honestly he sounds like a spoiled brat to me.

 

[Guest]

I just read through this thread and I am horrified that no one has taken this from her side of the story. Desert Rose, you have every right to do as you please. So what that you are in a D/S relationship. So what that you "ruined his weekend". You chose to do something for you. His reactions are the uncalled for ones not yours. IF he cared half as much for you he wouldn't have you as his "girl on the side". He is manipulating you. He is using you. You need to stand up for your choices and decisions. Do you believe he will leave his girlfriend for you? Do you want him as yours? If you want one thing and he wants another this relationship is going to go no where. If he can't "suck it up" that you made a choice for yourself and he wants to try to ruin your fun by hanging all over you while you are doing something for you HE is the one at fault. Screw all of this he is my Dom shit. You are a human being. He is the one with a woman on the side.

From what I have read in this thread he's not a Dom. He's a control freak. He has you dancing on strings knowing he has no commitment to you. He wants you as his little pet that he can have when he doesn't want his girlfriend. Fuck if I'd ever let a man do that to me. Even if I was a submissive that wouldn't happen.

No they haven't much...And they probably won't...
*sigh*
But, let me preface anything else with "opinion" that the fellow involved is a major wanker...
Yah know..if your sub/slave/pyl does something you don't like. Or can't live with..
Well hell..
Get on with it... Do whatever... Be pissed..Punish...Cut em loose if you have to.
But for the Gods sakes.. Don't piss and moan and whine on and on and on..
You lose all right to any respect as a Dominant, when you can't keep from sounding like someones mother, griping and nagging at a teenager.
Do it...Get it done...Get on with it..
I won't hazard a guess as to why he feels the need to have the girlfriend...But he is keeping you secret so she doesn't drop him like a rock...

Before I go any further...I guess two questions are in order...

Hmmm Did he have this "girlfriend" when you started your relationship with him? And did you know about her before you were involved?

Two I guess, is one of those things that you have to ask yourself....
If you knew it was going to piss him off... And you are desirous of maintaining a D/s relationship with him...Why did you do it?

 

[A Desert Rose]

Desert Rose I would not persume to give any relationship advice on how to deal with your SO, but I can say something about taking care of yourself. Your in this relationship and you get something out of it, be it just having someone at times to spend time with to the other end and having a play partner. Only you know what needs you get met from it, but there does come a time when you might want to evaluate if getting those needs met is worth the cost your going through.

You are the only one that can take care of you, and from reading some of the posts it sounds like he sure is hell is taking care of himself. Good luck in whatever you decision is be it stay and deal or getting out.

Thank you for this post.

I'm beginning to think the cost is too high. And I see now, that I have been manipulating Him. But He manipulates me, too.

This whole thing is probably not very healthy for me, I guess. And I keep telling myself that I'm worth more than this... to someone, somewhere, sometime.

 

[Recidiva]

Thank you for this post.

I'm beginning to think the cost is too high. And I see now, that I have been manipulating Him. But He manipulates me, too.

This whole thing is probably not very healthy for me, I guess. And I keep telling myself that I'm worth more than this... to someone, somewhere, sometime.

You are. To us, for one. To yourself. That's what you have to work on. Not getting someone else to tell you what you want. Find out what you want for yourself. Even if you can't get it ideally, figuring it out first and sticking to it is something you're going to need to get any relationship to work.

 

[Guest]

Let's talk about special... He complains to me that she won't give Him head and when He can finally coerce her to do it, she won't swallow. It just infuriates Him. Nevermind a good ol' assfucking. That won't ever be happening. What a princess.

He's the most Domly Dom, I've ever met. Marquis had a thread, I think on being a natural dominant? Well, that would be Him. He has alpha male written all over him. It's what drew me to him, to begin with. And she hasn't got a submissive nerve in her body.

I am the outlet He needs. Good ol' Roxanne bends to His will at every turn. And He loves being able to exercise that beastly side. I'm the one who accepts and welcomes it.

But you're right catalina, I'm beginning to think that He's only right for me in certain ways... not in all ways. I've got to step back and look at the big picture. If He cares about me at all, He'll let me do that.

ROFLMAO!!!!

Oh darlin....Sorry for the laughing.... But I think I just figured this guy out...
And I've seen him before....Hell...He's even made it into TV plots...CSI I think it was...
You are his therapy....
You are what he has to have, to feel like he still has his balls...
Of course he's going to go whiney ass ballistic over this...
'Cause she's got him WHIPPED....

*snicker*
"She won't blow me"
What a wanker....