On your first meeting with someone you find out ...

[jaF0]

You meet someone in some public social setting ( you know, the old fashioned way ) and are having your first conversation with them. At some point it comes out that they are a police officer. How do you react? Does it increase your interest? Are you neutral? Or is it a deal killer?

 

[KatieDoes]

100% deal breaker.

But I’d not tell them that was the reason, remain polite, and extricate myself as quickly and safely as possible.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Deal breaker for me, yes. Like KatieDoes, I wouldn’t tell him this is the reason. I would be polite, keep my guard up, reveal very little about myself, and then not say yes to a date or any further relationship considerations.

 

[jaF0]

I've known several over the years, multiple agencies and locations. Knew some before they applied. Without fail, every single one was a bit different somehow. Hard to explain, but the personality was very 'off'. I got to a point where I could tell just by tone of voice, words used and general demeanor.

 

[may_I_please]

are they carrying their handcuffs?

details matter

(also nationality of copper, this reservation seems significantly US based)

 

[MedicalMuse]

You meet someone in some public social setting ( you know, the old fashioned way ) and are having your first conversation with them. At some point it comes out that they are a police officer. How do you react? Does it increase your interest? Are you neutral? Or is it a deal killer?

Neutral. I’ve known good cops and bad cops. I’ll wait to see which for myself.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I don’t care. I can’t imagine not talking to someone because of their job (provided it’s an honest living).

Lots of cops are douchebags. So are lots of doctors, lawyers, nurses, etc. Never engineers though.

I’d have the same reservation with a cop as I would have with someone in higher education.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I don’t care. I can’t imagine not talking to someone because of their job (provided it’s an honest living).

Lots of cops are douchebags. So are lots of doctors, lawyers, nurses, etc. Never engineers though.

I’d have the same reservation with a cop as I would have with someone in higher education.

Not talking to someone? By “talking” do you mean “dating?”

I know several police officers very well, one of my closest friends is actually a cop. But, statistics don’t lie. Getting into a romantic relationship with one is not worth the risk.

 

[ericrodman101]

I find police officers very arresting.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Not talking to someone? By “talking” do you mean “dating?”

I know several police officers very well, one of my closest friends is actually a cop. But, statistics don’t lie. Getting into a romantic relationship with one is not worth the risk.

Not continuing to talk to someone in whom I had interest. I wouldn’t avoid a date with someone who was a cop.

What is the risk?

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Not continuing to talk to someone in whom I had interest.

What is the risk?

Domestic violence

 

[ericrodman101]

You meet someone in some public social setting ( you know, the old fashioned way ) and are having your first conversation with them. At some point it comes out that they are a police officer. How do you react? Does it increase your interest? Are you neutral? Or is it a deal killer?

You could offer to accompany them to the station and help with their enquiries.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Domestic violence

Would you extend that same statistical risk to race or only to occupation?

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Would you extend that same statistical risk to race or only to occupation?

It’s been a while since reading about the topic, but I recall my research indicating domestic violence by police officers is 15 times higher than the rest of the population. That research also suggested this number is likely low due to a culture of silence and of victims being afraid to report.

The thread was asking about police officers, not race. I’m not making any statements or implying anything about race. As a DV survivor, I take care to not put myself at risk. I will not date cops. You don’t have to agree. Feel free to date whom you wish, my opinion doesn’t need to be yours.

 

[Lord Pmann]

It’s been a while since reading about the topic, but I recall my research indicating domestic violence by police officers is 15 times higher than the rest of the population. That research also suggested this number is likely low due to a culture of silence and of victims being afraid to report.

The thread was asking about police officers, not race. I’m not making any statements or implying anything about race. As a DV survivor, I take care to not put myself at risk. I will not date cops. You don’t have to agree. Feel free to date whom you wish, my opinion doesn’t need to be yours.

I understand it’s not a thread about race. But it’s the height of prejudice to say that you wouldn’t continue talks simply based upon a person’s occupation.

I don’t want your opinion to be mine. But I suspect you would show quite a moral outrage if someone said something similar with regard to something other than occupation. Certainly unflattering statistics can be shared about a number of jobs, races or religions.

I think when we judge people based on the actions of others, we perpetuate prejudice. You are literally choosing discrimination.

 

[JerseyJade]

I don’t care. I can’t imagine not talking to someone because of their job (provided it’s an honest living).

Lots of cops are douchebags. So are lots of doctors, lawyers, nurses, etc. Never engineers though.

I’d have the same reservation with a cop as I would have with someone in higher education.

Would you say no to her?

 

[Lord Pmann]

Would you say no to her?

Who could say no to that smile? (apparently no one on the TN police force)

 

[JerseyJade]

Who could say no to that smile? (apparently no one on the TN police force)

#facts

 

[KatieDoes]

Becoming a police officer is a choice that someone makes, based upon their personality, character, and life goals.

If someone chooses to be an accountant, I would assume that they like order, precision, and aren’t particularly risky.

If someone chooses to become a wildlife photographer, I would assume that they like adventure, travel, and the outdoors.


I could be easily be incorrect in my assumptions, but they would be based upon actions and decisions made by those people.

If someone is born a particular race, and I make assumptions about their personality, character, or trustworthiness, based upon that, rather than on their actual behaviors and choices, that would be discrimination.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I understand it’s not a thread about race. But it’s the height of prejudice to say that you wouldn’t continue talks simply based upon a person’s occupation.

I don’t want your opinion to be mine. But I suspect you would show quite a moral outrage if someone said something similar with regard to something other than occupation. Certainly unflattering statistics can be shared about a number of jobs, races or religions.

I think when we judge people based on the actions of others, we perpetuate prejudice. You are literally choosing discrimination.

For what it’s worth, I’d never date someone religious either.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

@KatieDoes, I love you, girl

 

[Lord Pmann]

Becoming a police officer is a choice that someone makes, based upon their personality, character, and life goals.

If someone chooses to be an accountant, I would assume that they like order, precision, and aren’t particularly risky.

If someone chooses to become a wildlife photographer, I would assume that they like adventure, travel, and the outdoors.


I could be easily be incorrect in my assumptions, but they would be based upon actions and decisions made by those people.

If someone is born a particular race, and I make assumptions about their personality, character, or trustworthiness, based upon that, rather than on their actual behaviors and choices, that would be discrimination.

‘Tis a lovely speech, but assuming that discrimination is relegated to something inherent to one’s being is categorically false.

Prejudice has an ugly face no matter what form it takes.

 

[FunLi]

I don’t care. I can’t imagine not talking to someone because of their job (provided it’s an honest living).

Lots of cops are douchebags. So are lots of doctors, lawyers, nurses, etc. Never engineers though.

I’d have the same reservation with a cop as I would have with someone in higher education.

I agree. Although, I know some douche bag engineers too

Dating a first responder in general isn’t for the weak. That’s for sure. But dating or ‘marrying into’ certain professions always come with pros and cons. While statistics lean a certain way, it wouldn’t persuade me to totally write someone off and discourage me from developing my own impression.

 

[Booboobear84]

Becoming a police officer is a choice that someone makes, based upon their personality, character, and life goals.

If someone chooses to be an accountant, I would assume that they like order, precision, and aren’t particularly risky.

If someone chooses to become a wildlife photographer, I would assume that they like adventure, travel, and the outdoors.


I could be easily be incorrect in my assumptions, but they would be based upon actions and decisions made by those people.

If someone is born a particular race, and I make assumptions about their personality, character, or trustworthiness, based upon that, rather than on their actual behaviors and choices, that would be discrimination.

I'm an accountant, but I have chosen to work at 6 high tech start ups, so it doesn't preclude risk taking. I'm not particularly orderly, but I do love logic and numbers.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I agree. Although, I know some douche bag engineers too

Wrong. Engineers and Project Managers are among the most trustworthy of all professions. I’m willing to pre-judge their noble asses.