Objectification

[Netzach]

I've found this thread very interesting and wanted to add a, perhaps, different example of objectification.

The scenarios described so far are all played out withing the frame of an established committed emotional (although LD in many cases) relationship. A dynamic where the pyl is also loved and cared for.

As MIS said, one of the appeal for the pyl in such a relationship is that it reinforces her power position within the relationship; objectification puts her in the place she belong: subordinate, to serve, for his convenience and pleasure.

I would like to describe the feeling of objectification, within a totally different dynamic.

I've been seeing a Sadist in the last few months.

The dynamic is such at the moment that the exchanges between plays are, on his part very brief and to the point with the scope to assess where I stand after the previous play and set a date for the following encounter. We always start out as a nice conventional date even thou little words and actions here and there quickly put me in my place. When we get to the play place, I've not been allowed, so far, to look at him. The play is all about what He wants, taking what He wants and getting what He wants. It has nothing to do with me and what I want; my pleasure is nowhere in the picture. It makes me feel as all I am is just a willing body, that all the value that there is to me is how well I satisfy His desires. He will indulge me when He is done, but it still feels like the way you would care of a possession that you wish to be able to use again: even aftercare is somewhat objectifying.

Part of me wishes to develop a closer relationship and felt at first put of by the distance and shortness. And especially while going through sub-drop I am desperate for more closeness, more emotions, more attention, and He has made it clear that He is interested to here my thoughts (they are honestly in no form to be communicated at the time) and be there for me within the limits of his time.

But the fact is that, as soon as I regain my balance, I keep the distance myself. Part of me, I discovered, is totally enjoying this feeling of being just a willing body, something that you can and will replace if it does not work or perform as expected, something that you turn to when you need to scratch a hitch.

I know that the longer we interact, deeper connections will develop and this feeling of just being a body without identity will slowly fade. I wish before that happens to experience how it would feel to skip the friendly drinks before play and the down time afterward and go straight to play and than have him pack up and leave while I straighten up the room ...

Oh dear Lord this is delicious and where do I find your stateside evil twin?

Here's another I love -

H was, 30 years ago, a domestic sissy in an organized house. He was pretty much "the slut" - the personal maid was telling him at one point that the Mistress had this one client - the personal maid would go in, tie him down, tease him, hood him up. The Mistress would go in, and lean down and talk in his ear and do things to him in the chair, subtle, evil things, all the while talking, and leave before he was uncovered.

He never saw her.

But just as much, and only reading this thread, I realize she never saw HIM.

This would never fly in todays "beef market, barbie collecting" prodomme world where everything is pics and crap. I was born too late, I'm sure of it, from hearing this.

 

[Homburg]

Uh, you guys.

First of all that is effing hot. I am going to be fantasizing about the lower half of a femme sticking out of a wall now for days.

Second of all - people tell me MY bondage is elaborate, ha.

Well, usually I play a lot less ornate. MIS mentioned this particular fantasy and my mental wheels started to smoke from how fast they were spinning. I immediately started plotting out how to make it happen. Having power tools and a squat cage for lifting is just a lovely combo, and allows me to do all sorts of oddball stuff far more easily than otherwise.

 

[ataxia.girl]

that concept reminds me of a fantasy i had about an auction. in the fantasy the girl was put through a hole on the wall so that only he legs, ass, and lower back were exposed. the bidders the had a chance to test the responiveness of the girl without having to deal with her as person. she was simply an ass with a number attatched so she could be identified.

this fantasy was enacted and as part of it, i was put through a wall so that i could be tested for responsivness by the biders. it was a very objectifying experience to hear myself talked about by number not name, to hear my physical attibutes debated. with my face on the opposite side of the wall, it was easy to look at my backside without thinking about the full person. at one point the bidders wished to see how my ass reddened and began to test it, only interested in my ass, not the rest of me. very hot night for all involved.

i've had fantasies like this since i was a teenager. In one of them there is a room that is basically decorated with tits, the bodies are all on the other side of the wall. i didn't care if the girls were really uncomfortable and had to be stacked on top of each other. The important thing was to line the wall with as many sets of tits as possible. Most of these rooms decorated with faceless body parts still attached to living breathing human beings were in vegas. i thought it would be fun to have a casino with tits, pussies and cocks on the walls or as centerpieces on tables.

 

[ataxia.girl]

The play is all about what He wants, taking what He wants and getting what He wants. It has nothing to do with me and what I want; my pleasure is nowhere in the picture. It makes me feel as all I am is just a willing body, that all the value that there is to me is how well I satisfy His desires. He will indulge me when He is done, but it still feels like the way you would care of a possession that you wish to be able to use again: even aftercare is somewhat objectifying.

Both BD and UJ were much like this. The aftercare provided was like cleaning a gun after you've used it. You do it becuase it needs to be done in order to use it again not because you enjoy doing it and want to feel closer to the gun (for various reasons you may want the gun to "feel" closer to you however). With UJ especially even the "emotional" aftercare felt patronizing, like a task he was performing so i would work again. i was oddly okay with it.

i tend to thrive in a dynamic where i am looked at as a complicated toy. You can have lots and lots of fun with it but it has to be maintained or it quits functioning properly. As long as i feel like they are in control and my needs are being met i can actually deal with a less intense emotional connection from their side. In some ways i feel their distance allows them a certain objectivity that makes it easier for them to maintain me. When they start getting too emotionally wrapped up in me i begin to feel too much power and i fear my own destructive nature will ruin the relationship.

 

[Netzach]

i've had fantasies like this since i was a teenager. In one of them there is a room that is basically decorated with tits, the bodies are all on the other side of the wall. i didn't care if the girls were really uncomfortable and had to be stacked on top of each other. The important thing was to line the wall with as many sets of tits as possible. Most of these rooms decorated with faceless body parts still attached to living breathing human beings were in vegas. i thought it would be fun to have a casino with tits, pussies and cocks on the walls or as centerpieces on tables.

Weird! Wall o' boobs is more popular than I thought...hm.

 

[rida]

Oh dear Lord this is delicious and where do I find your stateside evil twin?

My evil twin is probably male and lives in NYC

Did I mention that the first thing I thought about the Sadist is that he is your male evil twin? LOL

... i thought it would be fun to have a casino with tits, pussies and cocks on the walls or as centerpieces on tables.

yes, yes, yes!
I know it is very banal but how about a row of cocks on coat hanger duty and a row of shaved female heads (rigorously looking down) on hat holder duty?

 

[twysted73]

Yes, yes, yes!
I know it is very banal but how about a row of cocks on coat hanger duty ?

Unless they're entertained, you'll have to pick up quite a few hats.
Viagra perhaps?

 

[rida]

Unless they're entertained, you'll have to pick up quite a few hats.
Viagra perhaps?

LOL!
Well, they could always be caged into rigid properly shaped and sized cages

 

[twysted73]

Very good point.

 

[The_Good_Sub]

i am typically the sub in our relationship, surprised? Sometimes my wife like to be the sub. Mostly my role is less sub but more servant. I serve to please and am pleased to serve. My wife is in control of my orgasms and so forth. But back to the serving thing. I love being the footstool or end table for my wife while she watches tv. Being taken for granted can be so hot.

 

[twysted73]

Good_sub...if you'd be so kind as to elaborate a little more on your impressions, interpretation and feelings about what and how she puts your useless self to something practical?

(do not take offense to my wording. I'm getting back into the mindset for an up and coming trip)

Because, and it is of course IMHO, I feel that his thoughts on this are along the lines to which this thread was created.
I wish to encourage more expression of thought as I feel this thread is rather helpful to me in regards to my own submissive who seems to be rather errant in her email-given task for such expansion/expression of thought.

~ Slainte`



,

 

[The_Good_Sub]

Well, it's hard to say really. The whole M/s thing is kinda new to her. I've always had an inkling towards pain and servitude. So we are kinda learning as we go. I alkways enjoy getting to serve her as something that isn't valued like a human, for instance, a footstool.

For her its the fact that she could not care less if her footstool is tired or has a backache. The fact that I am being viewed as less than human or like a sex toy would be treated. A woman uses a dildo and when she is done she washes it and tosses it back in the toy box. Not ever wondering or worrying about if it was satisfied.

For me it's the fact that i get to serve but don't get the recognition for being a good sub. I'm am expected to do the things and it's not for "rewards" it's because I am an object.

Hope that's what you were looking for.

 

[twysted73]

Anyone else??

 

[twysted73]

*cough*

 

[SubKekiLee]

Objectification.... Hmmmmmm I have lots of views on this.. I am my Sir's submissive and I love to serve him, I have asked him to think of taking me to a M/s relationship.... I would love to be at his feet nightly and serving him and making him happy if I needed to be his footstool or rub his back it isnt about me, it never has been it has always been about him... I love to serve.... I feel no more complete when I am serving him and at his feet at his side... When he runs his hands through my hair it moves me to no end... When he uses me for his pleasure... Mmmmmmm Yes... exactly

 

[unfoundiamond]

Does anyone have any experience, views, or comments regarding Objectification?

I have looked through the library & threads and most posts I have found that address this link it to humiliation. This is not the objectification I am talking about. Don't get me wrong... I love humiliation play but I am talking more about being an object, or something less than human in a freeing sense, with a degree of pridefulness in the ability to assume that role (as opposed to the pride that comes form being his whore).

When I first started identifying with BDSM and my submissive side I bought a book called "Erotic Surrender ~ The Sensual Joys of Female Submission" by Claudia Varrin. It had a chapter called "Objects of Beauty and Usefullness" which intrigued me. Two main themes of objectification she discusses are "useful objects" and "animal personas". I have read many posts on puppy or kitten play and pony-girl isn't something that has appealed to me on a deep level. I am more interested in the "useful objects" genre.

I would love to quote parts of the book but am unsure of copyright so I will try & pharaphrase it succintly & effectively to explain my attraction.

* If a submissive has a nurturing of service oriented style then it can be a gift to her Dominant as acknowledgement & appreciation for all the work that he puts into making her fantasies come true.

* By the Dominant treating you as an object, total subjugation and powerlessness can be enjoyed guiltlessly. (1)

* Puppy play or other role playing requires the Dominant to monitor each action of the "puppy" and the submissive to take on the persona, actions & intent of a puppy. As, say a candelabra the position can be assumed and all thought suspended which can apparently put a sub is an almsot trancelike state, a "lightness" of being" ... I'm not one for yoga or meditation but I imagine that the result is very similar with the added satisfaction of pleasing your Dom.

* Objectification is not necessarily sexual ..... as an object you can assume a position of usefullness (footstool, table, ashtray) or a "Objets D'art". For those of you who have read The Beauty Trilogy by Anne Rice this is addressed although quite often in a more sexual manner if my memory serves me right. However, as a piece of art the Dominant may pose the submissive on or over a chair or however he wishes in such a way that is not only aesthetically pleasing, but also exposed. I imagine that a difficult poistion to hold would provide more challenge to the sub, and as such more focus would be required in effect requiring denial of the outside world to a greater degree and her center being entorely on pleasing him....

I am not exactly sure of me attarction to this... perhaps a mixture of pleasing him, providing the Dominant with some "down time" while still being able to apprecaite you but not interact, the pridefullness that comes from knowing that he is admiring me, as well as a slight sense of humiliation taht I need to be all this for him.... (2)

*more thought needed*

1. Objectification to alleviate guilt is absurd,

2. Your attraction seems to be from the paragraph to be admired, not objectified

 

[Karleksknop]

My strongest wishes are related to this subject. I want to be a toy and used as an object, for His enjoyment.

I am not much for being humiliated by being called names or such, or treated as if I was worthless. My game is to put my heart and soul into pleasing, and the way I see it, having a toy that gives you exactly the pleasure you wish, anytime you want it is something only a stupid person would throw away.
I want to be a favourite toy, played with in a careful, loving way, to avoid unnecessary dents and scratches. I want to be told how to please, and I will obey in every way possible.
I want to be tied beyond any unwanted control and teased for His pleasure, until I beg for release. And I hope that I have been a good girl, so I will be granted one.

In my fantasy there are not that much limits if activities doesn´t mean permanent scarring or damage. Where the limits are in real life I don´t know since this fantasy seems very hard to make happen