No Nut 19

[seela]

Day 196: The idea to tie the required number of edges a day to something completely arbitrary that me or my partner have no control over seemed like a fun idea when I thought it up. Until it meant having 18 edges in 48 hours.

My brain is mush.

Lord have mercy.

 

[seela]

Day 201: So the number starts with a two now.

I've edged more recently than probably ever during this year. Okay, definitely more than ever during this year.

Some days the required number of edges has been high enough that I've had to do some serious planning to fit them all in, because I've learned that I definitely need time between the edges or the temptation to go over gets really bad. It's been a good exercise, interesting. I hate it and love that I do it anyways.

It keeps me desperate. Keeps me frustrated. Keeps me wanting things. Questionable things, good things, humiliating things, all the things. Keeps me willing to go the extra mile. I only wish there were more extra miles to go.

I've been thinking about finding someone to scratch some particular itches that aren't seen to, but my current drippiness and willingness to go the extra mile make me a little worried. I'm not sure this is a good time to get to know someone new, because I might get carried away a little too easily right now. And at the same time this is the perfect time. A bit of a pickle.

 

[SissySalina]

Hope you are doing ok seela, have not seen a post for a while.

 

[seela]

Day 211: Still on the wagon! Thanks for asking SissySalina.

I've been keeping up with the rather randomized number of daily edges, and man, it's been a wild ride. I've edged more than ever this year and that definitely messes up with my head a little. I had already gotten pretty used to this whole nutlessness and thought it would be roughly the same the rest of the year. But it's not quite so. And going from double digits to "no touching your sad drippiness today" is quite a mind fuck and so, so difficult.

This feels again a lot like it did at the beginning. I definitely feel that high that I've always felt after, say, 10-14 days of no nut. I'm constantly aware of my neediness and I guess "vaguely sexy" is the right way to describe this feeling. That's odd because sexy is not something I normally would feel or describe myself as, ever. It does have an effect on my self confidence too, I think, a positive effect. Overall, in everything I do. It's weird.

On the fucked up sex front, I'm willing to go farther than I thought I would or should. I crave humiliation something bad right now and in a way I'm a little afraid of it.

Right now I want this to go on foreverrrrrrrr.

 

[base10]

Day 211: Still on the wagon! Thanks for asking SissySalina.

I've been keeping up with the rather randomized number of daily edges, and man, it's been a wild ride. I've edged more than ever this year and that definitely messes up with my head a little. I had already gotten pretty used to this whole nutlessness and thought it would be roughly the same the rest of the year. But it's not quite so. And going from double digits to "no touching your sad drippiness today" is quite a mind fuck and so, so difficult.

This feels again a lot like it did at the beginning. I definitely feel that high that I've always felt after, say, 10-14 days of no nut. I'm constantly aware of my neediness and I guess "vaguely sexy" is the right way to describe this feeling. That's odd because sexy is not something I normally would feel or describe myself as, ever. It does have an effect on my self confidence too, I think, a positive effect. Overall, in everything I do. It's weird.

On the fucked up sex front, I'm willing to go farther than I thought I would or should. I crave humiliation something bad right now and in a way I'm a little afraid of it.

Right now I want this to go on foreverrrrrrrr.

Telling the world about your dripping pussy seems like a good place to start on the humiliation front

 

[seela]

Telling the world about your dripping pussy seems like a good place to start on the humiliation front

You would think so but I think I'm too far gone already.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I'm on day 3 of a 7 day challenge and I'm going insane. I don't know how you do it Seela. #sendprayers

 

[AlwaysFara]

You would think so but I think I'm too far gone already.

Good Lord, woman. Look at your AV.

 

[gracie920101]

Yes, I'm in love with the outfit in your av.

You're not so bad either!

 

[seela]

I'm on day 3 of a 7 day challenge and I'm going insane. I don't know how you do it Seela. #sendprayers

You're doing so well! The first days are the hardest for me. Around day 10 I hit a really lovely place where I just feel good, soft, mellow, confident and weirdly almost kinda sexy all the time. It doesn't last forever, I've learned, but while it lasts it's amazing. The feeling has come and gone during the year and now I'm very much feeling it again, so yay!

Good Lord, woman. Look at your AV.

Good Lord, how did that happen!

Yes, I'm in love with the outfit in your av.

You're not so bad either!

Fun fact, I only have the outfit because I ordered stuff from a store and for whatever reason that was in the package as well. I contacted the place to ask if they want me to send it back, they didn't. Once they sent me 6 pairs of panty hose when I ordered only one. I don't know how they're still in business with all these random freebies they send people.

The outfit is it's a bit snug on the boob front but it's not like I ever actually wear it anyways so it doesn't matter.

 

[seela]

Day 216: It's August now, you guys! I've done about 60% of the year, it's hard to believe!

I've been wondering how I'll feel when the year is over. Will I be relieved or will I maybe be sad and want to continue this? Will this year feel like a silly, stupid experiment or will I feel a tiny bit proud of myself for doing it? I'm pretty sure it's going to be a mixed bag of every emotion ever when it's time to have that first orgasm.

The last orgasm I had was during the last minute of 2018 and the previous one before that was in November. I was really disappointed when I was told to have the orgasm right before entering No Nut 2019 instead of just continuing the streak I had going since November. It was such a strange mix of emotions and sensations that evening that I didn't really enjoy the last orgasm all that much. I just didn't know how to process it all. I kept thinking that the orgasm ruined a good streak and it felt frustrating to go back to square one.

I'm pretty sure that's how it'll be after this year is over as well. I will feel frustrated to give up the streak. I'll be sad. Anybody who's ever heard me talk about crosswords knows how much I love a good streak, and 365 days is a damn fine one! It'll be difficult to let go. If it comes down to "the year is over, you may have an orgasm now" instead of "the year is over, you must have an orgasm now", what will I do?

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Day 216: It's August now, you guys! I've done about 60% of the year, it's hard to believe!

I've been wondering how I'll feel when the year is over. Will I be relieved or will I maybe be sad and want to continue this? Will this year feel like a silly, stupid experiment or will I feel a tiny bit proud of myself for doing it? I'm pretty sure it's going to be a mixed bag of every emotion ever when it's time to have that first orgasm.

The last orgasm I had was during the last minute of 2018 and the previous one before that was in November. I was really disappointed when I was told to have the orgasm right before entering No Nut 2019 instead of just continuing the streak I had going since November. It was such a strange mix of emotions and sensations that evening that I didn't really enjoy the last orgasm all that much. I just didn't know how to process it all. I kept thinking that the orgasm ruined a good streak and it felt frustrating to go back to square one.

I'm pretty sure that's how it'll be after this year is over as well. I will feel frustrated to give up the streak. I'll be sad. Anybody who's ever heard me talk about crosswords knows how much I love a good streak, and 365 days is a damn fine one! It'll be difficult to let go. If it comes down to "the year is over, you may have an orgasm now" instead of "the year is over, you must have an orgasm now", what will I do?

If I haven't said it already: this is such a fascinating journey you are on. You have such inner strength. I just went like ten days and it was torture. Like lots of people here. I'm pulling for you! Go Seela!

Glad to hear that you're getting a good feeling about this again. I hope today isn't too drippy. (And add my two thumbs up for the new Av; it was hard to top your pretty tied feet, but the new outfit looks great. The collar is a nice touch).

 

[seela]

If I haven't said it already: this is such a fascinating journey you are on. You have such inner strength. I just went like ten days and it was torture. Like lots of people here. I'm pulling for you! Go Seela!

Glad to hear that you're getting a good feeling about this again. I hope today isn't too drippy. (And add my two thumbs up for the new Av; it was hard to top your pretty tied feet, but the new outfit looks great. The collar is a nice touch).

Thanks! I have easier days and harder days, too. Lately it's been hard in most enjoyable way, but I know it'll change again at some point.

 

[cookiecat]

It is weird to wonder how your next orgasm will be. Like it should be passing out amazing. But just as likely is it might not be. Thinking about this for the next 150 days would tie me up in knots. I'm anxious for you!!

seela - how has not cumming affected the rest of your life? Does it distract your thoughts from other day to day things?

-- chiming in on the AV. Very striking.

 

[seela]

It is weird to wonder how your next orgasm will be. Like it should be passing out amazing. But just as likely is it might not be. Thinking about this for the next 150 days would tie me up in knots. I'm anxious for you!!

seela - how has not cumming affected the rest of your life? Does it distract your thoughts from other day to day things?

-- chiming in on the AV. Very striking.

I don't think it'll be "passing out amazing" because there will be a lot of inner turmoil connected to it no matter what, but "pretty nice" is a likely scenario.

I'm not going to worry about it, because it doesn't really matter anyways. If the first orgasm I have after no nut isn't amazing, one of the next ones will be.

How this affects the rest of my life. Hmm. Good question.

Most days it doesn't distract my thoughts too much. I've noticed that I have an uncanny talent of compartmentalizing. When I'm at work and have to concentrate on something, it doesn't even cross my mind, no matter how drippy, achy and borderline whiny a morning or a lunch break it has been for me. The same goes for anything else that I'd consider important. But the moment I can have my mind wander a little, it almost always wanders to sex and the throbbing feeling between my legs and my brain goes mushy and eyes glaze over the first chance I get.

I've also realized that without noticing I might start to squeeze my thighs together if I sit with my legs crossed, like I often do. Or I might move my leg up and down a little (or a lot) because it creates stimulus especially if I'm wearing the right pants and sit with my legs crossed. I also used to have a saddle chair at work, but I had to give up using it because I caught myself starting to kinda grind it, which is way, way embarrassing, especially as I share my office with someone. I stand at my desk more now, which is probably better for me anyways.

But any of that unintentional stimulus still doesn't distract me from my work if have to concentrate on it. When I emerge out of my concentration bubble, I can feel instantly really horny and it'll be full on wetness from then on, but while I'm in that bubble, it never registers to me. With less important things concentrating and compartmentalizing can be a bit more of a problem sometimes I guess.

In general the perma horny keeps me a little softer, a little more willing... A little less stuck in my head. A little more what I'd like to be all the time. There are certain things in my life that prevent me from reaping the full rewards in this area, but I thoroughly enjoy what I get through this.

And in other ways it's affected my life, I'd say it's given me a little more confidence in myself to be able to tackle things that feel really difficult or impossible at first. It's given me a very concrete way to measure my self-discipline, and I've noticed I have more of it than I ever imagined. I'm trying to implement that newly discovered self-discipline in other areas of life, too. I feel utterly stupid for figuring out these things through something as stupid and pointless as no nut, but there you go.

Thanks for asking!

 

[base10]

In general the perma horny keeps me a little softer, a little more willing... A little less stuck in my head. A little more what I'd like to be all the time. There are certain things in my life that prevent me from reaping the full rewards in this area, but I thoroughly enjoy what I get through this.

And in other ways it's affected my life, I'd say it's given me a little more confidence in myself to be able to tackle things that feel really difficult or impossible at first. It's given me a very concrete way to measure my self-discipline, and I've noticed I have more of it than I ever imagined. I'm trying to implement that newly discovered self-discipline in other areas of life, too. I feel utterly stupid for figuring out these things through something as stupid and pointless as no nut, but there you go.

Thanks for asking!

This makes a lot of sense to me. I don't think it's stupid that you figured it out through this method. Sexuality is such an important part of all of our lives, so why shouldn't it reveal things about our life.

I really like the part about how it has made you open and softer. When you're at a party, in a good mood, a few drinks, maybe someone to flirt with; the walls are down a bit and you can just be yourself. Not cumming forcing you into that mindset more often seems like a wonderful effect.

 

[seela]

I really like the part about how it has made you open and softer. When you're at a party, in a good mood, a few drinks, maybe someone to flirt with; the walls are down a bit and you can just be yourself. Not cumming forcing you into that mindset more often seems like a wonderful effect.

That's a really good comparison for how it feels a lot of the time. And even if it doesn't feel like that exactly that moment, it's not difficult to get me to that stage. Some thoughts or some words is really all it takes most days.

That said, it's really not all sunshine and happiness, this no nut business. I have legit cried because I haven't been able to fall asleep with all the frustration and throbbing going on. I have cried because I've felt lonely and alone with all the thoughts and feelings.

When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's really bad.

 

[base10]

That's a really good comparison for how it feels a lot of the time. And even if it doesn't feel like that exactly that moment, it's not difficult to get me to that stage. Some thoughts or some words is really all it takes most days.

That said, it's really not all sunshine and happiness, this no nut business. I have legit cried because I haven't been able to fall asleep with all the frustration and throbbing going on. I have cried because I've felt lonely and alone with all the thoughts and feelings.

When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's really bad.

From the dominant perspective, that screams out to want to be the person to guide and care for you through the emotional roller coaster

 

[seela]

From the dominant perspective, that screams out to want to be the person to guide and care for you through the emotional roller coaster

Hmm. Interesting.

I've never felt like I'd need guidance or care here. Just more like the opportunity to vent, which is simply not always doable. Besides my venting very easily turns into annoying whining and that's not ideal, so I try to deal with the emotions and physical discomfort in other ways.

Sometimes I wish I felt more comfortable sharing things here, because that might help a little with the overwhelmed and lonely moments, but that's not the case.

 

[SissySalina]

Day 216: It's August now, you guys! I've done about 60% of the year, it's hard to believe!

I've been wondering how I'll feel when the year is over. Will I be relieved or will I maybe be sad and want to continue this? Will this year feel like a silly, stupid experiment or will I feel a tiny bit proud of myself for doing it? I'm pretty sure it's going to be a mixed bag of every emotion ever when it's time to have that first orgasm.

The last orgasm I had was during the last minute of 2018 and the previous one before that was in November. I was really disappointed when I was told to have the orgasm right before entering No Nut 2019 instead of just continuing the streak I had going since November. It was such a strange mix of emotions and sensations that evening that I didn't really enjoy the last orgasm all that much. I just didn't know how to process it all. I kept thinking that the orgasm ruined a good streak and it felt frustrating to go back to square one.

I'm pretty sure that's how it'll be after this year is over as well. I will feel frustrated to give up the streak. I'll be sad. Anybody who's ever heard me talk about crosswords knows how much I love a good streak, and 365 days is a damn fine one! It'll be difficult to let go. If it comes down to "the year is over, you may have an orgasm now" instead of "the year is over, you must have an orgasm now", what will I do?

You will make the right decision for that time. Sure of it!

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Hmm. Interesting.

I've never felt like I'd need guidance or care here. Just more like the opportunity to vent, which is simply not always doable. Besides my venting very easily turns into annoying whining and that's not ideal, so I try to deal with the emotions and physical discomfort in other ways.

Sometimes I wish I felt more comfortable sharing things here, because that might help a little with the overwhelmed and lonely moments, but that's not the case.

Just remember Seela, this is a judgement-free zone, because we're all pretty kinked up here. And, look back through this thread: we're behind you.

Hope your day isn't uncomfortable in a bad way.

 

[seela]

Just remember Seela, this is a judgement-free zone, because we're all pretty kinked up here. And, look back through this thread: we're behind you.

Hope your day isn't uncomfortable in a bad way.

This definitely is not a judgment-free zone, sadly. Another big issue is that certain things just go against my Lit brand, so to say. I'm also not completely anonymous here anymore. Those are some of the reasons why I hold back.

My day has been pretty good thanks! Hope yours is as well.

 

[Phosphene]

This definitely is not a judgment-free zone, sadly. Another big issue is that certain things just go against my Lit brand, so to say. I'm also not completely anonymous here anymore. Those are some of the reasons why I hold back.

I think it is better to hold yourself back a bit because being too personal so publicly makes you vulnerable. I find this journey of yours very interesting, though, and I really appreciate what you do choose to share. Thanks for letting us follow along.

 

[SissySalina]

Seela, please post what you want to. The enjoyment is seeing what you post and how much you allow others into your life so it is up to you and no-one else.
All have limits and must stay inside them for our own good.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

I guess there is more judgement than there should be on a sex site.

Sissy and Phosphene are right; just be you.