Is it ok to Switch?

[shrek100]

Hope this ok to post this here.
So I am female. 47. Married to an adventurous husband. Have tried lots of sexual things. Threesomes etc etc

Last night I was out with some friends and we got drunk. One of the girls started talking about sex and domination. After a while it become obvious she has no idea.
Being drunk I told a few tails of my sex life. Sex dungeons, doing totally dominated by Mr. And then I said and then other times I totally Dom Mr with strapons etc etc

“Don’t believe you, you can only be one of the other! Nobody switches you can only enjoy it one way or another”
So one of the other girls who has joined Myself and Mr disagreed and an argument started.

So my question is am I weird to like to switch? And does anyone else?

 

[YerLittleSecret]

Not weird at all! I think that's very common. Maybe more for men than women but I'm totally a switch. There are times I enjoy totally dominating my lover and times where I want to be dominated. It can even change in the middle of having sex. I might start out very aggressively using my lover, then somewhere in the mix, I'm being the one getting used and I'm completely submissive and subservient. It's more mentally stimulating therefore, physically stimulating for me. But that's how MY mind and body works. There are people who can eat the same meal for breakfast every day and those who eat something different every morning, depending on what sounds good to them. And there are those who don't eat breakfast at all. Therefore, you're not weird or wrong. She can be only the one thing and you be all of the things...and both can be true and very much right for each of you!

 

[shrek100]

Not weird at all! I think that's very common. Maybe more for men than women but I'm totally a switch. There are times I enjoy totally dominating my lover and times where I want to be dominated. It can even change in the middle of having sex. I might start out very aggressively using my lover, then somewhere in the mix, I'm being the one getting used and I'm completely submissive and subservient. It's more mentally stimulating therefore, physically stimulating for me. But that's how MY mind and body works. There are people who can eat the same meal for breakfast every day and those who eat something different every morning, depending on what sounds good to them. And there are those who don't eat breakfast at all. Therefore, you're not weird or wrong. She can be only the one thing and you be all of the things...and both can be true and very much right for each of you!

Thank you
That’s exactly as I feel

 

[wicked woman]

You yourself said '...she has no idea.' Not sure why you would give her opinion any weight. If you want to switch...switch.

I don't know how common it is to switch...whether with the same person or with different people (e.g. D with one person, s with another person)...but there are definitely people who switch. You obviously don't need anyone telling you that though. It's not my thing but that's irrelevant.

 

[DrHappy]

It can even change in the middle of having sex. I might start out very aggressively using my lover, then somewhere in the mix, I'm being the one getting used and I'm completely submissive and subservient.

Yes! For some of us, it’s easy to enjoy either role. I like variety and I like playing both sides.

One of my stories uses this element where a couple takes turns playfully dominating each other. He starts out in charge, and they switch at some point, and she pays him back. I wrote the story because I enjoy the back and forth dynamic. If you are interested, here is Playful Power Play. It’s my shortest story, it's domination without heavy BDSM, and the plot is pretty light.

 

[BiBunny]

Of course it's OK. It's also fairly common, so I have no idea why this person would say that.

 

[shrek100]

Of course it's OK. It's also fairly common, so I have no idea why this person would say that.

I wonder if her sex life is not good.
I was talking to Mr Shrek about it and he suggested I invite her round for a switch session
He would say that.

 

[IrisAlthea]

You yourself said '...she has no idea.' Not sure why you would give her opinion any weight. If you want to switch...switch.

This!

So my question is am I weird to like to switch?

That is not the same question as your ”Is it ok?” in the title.
Weird just means unusual and/or unexpected and to the large majority, a lot of these things that we do are weird.
That does not mean that it wouldn’t be ok or that you shouldn’t do it.

Being drunk I told a few tails of my sex life

Rarely if ever a good idea.
In general, drunk or sober, I find it good policy to be very restrictive with who gets to have an opinion on my shenanigans and even more restrictive with whose opinion I value.

 

[Yesok1]

This comment relates to Bdsm, not other sexual activities.

Don't bdsm drunk. Ever!

Yes, switching is fun. But I'm definitely a bottom. My partner tops from the bottom because I'm not naturally a top in bdsm play.

 

[cdstefi]

I'm a switch and wouldn't have it any other way. I'm a bit greedy and want it all

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

So my question is am I weird to like to switch? And does anyone else?

Not weird at all! If that were the case I'd be quite the weirdo! I've been a switch for years and it's perfectly acceptable -- at least in the world of BDSM. I like being a switch since it has the advantage of being able to adapt to a potential partner's preferences. It also makes play more versatile and interesting, IMO.

 

[Wonderer67]

Life ain’t black-and-white.

Giving and receiving works for me. Men and women work for me. Being dominant and submissive works for me.

I don’t care about labels. Ya like what ya like.

 

[base10]

Nothing is "weird". As long as it works for both parties involved, it's good.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Switching is remarkably common, but you wouldn't guess that from most BDSM erotic stories where everyone is either a dom or sub - - almost never a top or bottom, and even more rarely a switch.

I've tried to redress that a bit in my stories.

 

[Samantha47]

Hope this ok to post this here.
So I am female. 47. Married to an adventurous husband. Have tried lots of sexual things. Threesomes etc etc

Last night I was out with some friends and we got drunk. One of the girls started talking about sex and domination. After a while it become obvious she has no idea.
Being drunk I told a few tails of my sex life. Sex dungeons, doing totally dominated by Mr. And then I said and then other times I totally Dom Mr with strapons etc etc

“Don’t believe you, you can only be one of the other! Nobody switches you can only enjoy it one way or another”
So one of the other girls who has joined Myself and Mr disagreed and an argument started.

So my question is am I weird to like to switch? And does anyone else?

Not at all

 

[Samantha47]

This comment relates to Bdsm, not other sexual activities.

Don't bdsm drunk. Ever!

Yes, switching is fun. But I'm definitely a bottom. My partner tops from the bottom because I'm not naturally a top in bdsm play.

Me too in BDSM play

 

[Goldenfinger]

Of course it is! You do you.

 

[Samantha47]

Of course it is! You do you.

Oh yes honey

 

[masterslave00]

I would say it is absolutely normal. My FWB and I switch regularly as well as play completely vanilla.

I believe that being switch, one has much better idea of what to do as Dom and what to expect as Sub...

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

There's nothing strange at all about being a switch -- I've always been a one. I love being on both sides of the power exchange dynamic, it makes the scene more versatile and interesting. It also gives me the opportunity to adapt to a partner regardless whether she is a top or bottom.

 

[SPARTAN047]

There's nothing strange at all about being a switch -- I've always been a one. I love being on both sides of the power exchange dynamic, it makes the scene more versatile and interesting. It also gives me the opportunity to adapt to a partner regardless whether she is a top or bottom.

I've pretty much stayed a switch although I've understood 10+ years ago that I was much more bottom or submissive, but I've played a top/Domme role so many times I have a good idea of what to do. So it's nothing weird.

 

[varv]

In my opinion, it is not just possible, But NECESSARY! Otherwise, in the end, you can end up in a mental hospital, or on the bottom! I am a mid-level manager. And I know exactly what I need to relieve professional stress.

 

[lc69hunter]

Hope this ok to post this here.
So I am female. 47. Married to an adventurous husband. Have tried lots of sexual things. Threesomes etc etc

Last night I was out with some friends and we got drunk. One of the girls started talking about sex and domination. After a while it become obvious she has no idea.
Being drunk I told a few tails of my sex life. Sex dungeons, doing totally dominated by Mr. And then I said and then other times I totally Dom Mr with strapons etc etc

“Don’t believe you, you can only be one of the other! Nobody switches you can only enjoy it one way or another”
So one of the other girls who has joined Myself and Mr disagreed and an argument started.

So my question is am I weird to like to switch? And does anyone else?

On BDSMtest.org, I have taken the test three times over the last three years, and every time I came up as 100% switch. The rest of the categories move up or down a bit, depending upon what I have been reading or writing.
The problem of being a switch, as you mentioned, is that a non switch can never understand the sexual or emotional dynamics of it, so being switch with a non switch doesn't mean a thing. I have only had two relationships (including my current one) with a switch, and it is a rush when I give up control to her for a weekend (we try and switch at least once a month). She is the manager of the local Fascinations Superstore and is super kinky, so I get put thru the ringer when I bottom.

 

[SPARTAN047]

It's kind of true. You need to switch back and forth with taking charge and giving up control unless you're secure in your role.

 

[theMasterBaiter]

I don't fucking care if it's ok, it's just how I am.

I know how to slap you around because I've been slapped around and I regularly slap myself around while jacking. And the same for CBT, spanking,whips, chains, and all that shit. I know what's gonna make you cream 'cause it's what makes me cream.

But I will say it's nice to hear all the positive replies here. I love all you switches! We should have an orgy! ,o)