How little does it take to get your sub side out?

In an in person relationship, I’ve found a certain look very effective. Or running my fingers through her hair, so she’ll anticipate my fingers closing into a fist and controlling her by her hair. It’s cute if I delay closing my fist, just run my fingers through her hair to build anticipation.

In an online relationship, it’s strictly by tone of voice. My voice is naturally friendly and open. When it’s time for her to submit, I use a different tone. Not loud, angry, or pushy-but more serious and strict. It’s just to set the mood for what’s to come.
 
Very hard. I tend to be combative. My brain feels safe controling my environment but it keeps me numb. So I need to submit.
 
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