No More Mister Nice Guy!

[StondTmplPilot]

Ok, so I was wrong!
From now on, no more will I open the door for a lady, so she can enter first, let her get it her dam self. Same thing goes if she wants to smoke, she can light it herself because I am not going to make the effort to do it for her, why should I? Compliment her on how nice she looks? fuck that, she won't remember it. Maybe if I become an asshole, some lady might actually decide to give me a fair shot! Fuck being a nice guy, I am sick of hearing: "You know, your such a nice guy, but.." WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH BEING A NICE GUY ladies? Tell me, why is it that this nice guy gets jacked around? Do I have a sign on my head that says...."Here's a nice guy...Shit on him!"?

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[JazzManJim]

My Man, you're asking the same questions I've been asking myself for the last decade. Unfortunately, I've tried being a complete bastard and was terrible at it. I'm afraid I'm wired as a nice guy and I think that you may be, too.

It sucks and I keep getting told it's a good thing and there's a payoff at the end, but hell if I see it. Ah well...might as well have fun on the way. It's funny, but when a whole lot of women say "You're such a nice guy", they're really saying "Sure, I'll call you and tell you about the last guy who fucked me over, but I sure as hell wouldn't sleep with you".

There are, in my observations, three classes of guys for most women: Guys they'd date, Guyes they'd never date, and the Gay Men/Married Men/Nice Men categories.

 

[Rubyfruit]

What happened? You can't change, STP. You have the deadly and irrisitable combination of nice guy/tough looks. If some woman didn't appreciate you, then fuck her and say "next!"

 

[Debbie]

There isn't a sign on your head that says shit on you! I like you just the way you are. You are a very nice person.
If you become an asshole you won't be who you are.
Don't change! I have been with assholes and the nice guy I have now is worth 10,000 assholes.
*hug* You are a great guy.

 

[sarahuk4]

STP, don't give up being Mr Nice Guy, it works , I love it when men treat me like a woman ......it is lovely ......Well put it this way , I for one appreciate it .........so you can open my door for me any day ....ok...lol.lol...........

 

[u2slow13]

could be wrong but this may have something to do with his 30 day deal. If it is, sorry guy.

 

[Cheyenne]

Uh oh. This doesn't have anything to do with the friend of yours with the divorce that isn't quite final, does it?

There is nothing wrong with door opening. It is common courtesy for either sex. If I get to the door first, I hold it open for those behind me. If someone else gets there first and holds it for me, I say thank you.

 

[Moridin187]

I feel your pain STP and JMJ.. I've been hearing "You're such a nice guy but.." and "You're such a good friend.." for longer than I care to remember...

 

[StondTmplPilot]

Right now I am hurt, and bitter.


I dont know what else to say

 

[p_p_man]

Let me be the first to say that I stand "shoulder to shoulder" with you.

PS

oops. I thought your post was meant to be light-hearted. As I can't delete this one I'm adding this PS to say I didn't mean to tread on your sensibilities...

ppman

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Ok, so I was wrong!

And out of the wood work comes all the attached/married/and otherwise unavailable women to tell you how you are mistaken, etc., and how being a nice guy will pay off in the end. Yeah right!

Sorry ladies, and I appreciate the caring sentiment, but it really doesn't help - what we nice guys need is some good loving from someone who appreciates us, not platitudes.

I do think some of the women who pass up nice guys for assholes are getting what they deserve eventually, but that doesn't help us one iota does it?

What we want is not a pat on the back saying "better luck next time" - we want for these women to either get their heads on straight, or to tell us the truth with regards to why they dropped us like a hot potato. Maybe, then we will try not to do that same thing next time - or maybe we will, but either way maybe we won't be so frustrated for doing what every woman seems to be telling us they want us to do, but which never seems to work out and they never seem to really appreciate.

So, STP, my advice is that the best way to recover from such a situation is to go find someone even better, hotter, sexier, etc., and then parade that woman in front of whomever has pissed you off. Doing well in spite of someone's bullshit is the best revenge. When a woman looks at you all successful with another beautiful woman on your arm - she'll think "Damn! I let him go - and I could have had that and look what I am stuck with now!."

Don't try to change - like JMJ said, we are wired the way we are, and we aren't really good at being assholes. Let the assholes have the dim-witted bitches that choose them.

There, have I sufficiently tarnished my rep as a nice guy yet? Good! What have I got to loose? Not much from what I can tell.

 

[Siren]

 

[Rubyfruit]

No platitudes here, STG.

I married a nice guy. My lovers are nice guys. Frankly, I think that women in their 20s are more apt to find the asshole type attractive - I know I did.

Mature people or either gender generally appreciate honestly, frankness, consideration and kindness.

 

[modest mouse]

The other side of the coin.........

STP,

I am getting zero loving as a total asshole so I suggest winning the lottery and renting happiness.

(I would wink if there wasn't way too much truth to this.)

 

[Moridin187]

Re: Re: No More Mister Nice Guy!

And out of the wood work comes all the attached/married/and otherwise unavailable women to tell you how you are mistaken, etc., and how being a nice guy will pay off in the end. Yeah right!

Sorry ladies, and I appreciate the caring sentiment, but it really doesn't help - what we nice guys need is some good loving from someone who appreciates us, not platitudes.

I do think some of the women who pass up nice guys for assholes are getting what they deserve eventually, but that doesn't help us one iota does it?

What we want is not a pat on the back saying "better luck next time" - we want for these women to either get their heads on straight, or to tell us the truth with regards to why they dropped us like a hot potato. Maybe, then we will try not to do that same thing next time - or maybe we will, but either way maybe we won't be so frustrated for doing what every woman seems to be telling us they want us to do, but which never seems to work out.

And with these words STG expresses the exact sentiments of all of the members of the "Too Nice for Our Own Good" club. The other thing, I don't know if it's happened to you guys, but it does to me, is that I tend to attract the Wrong type of women.. I'm a hopeless romantic at heart, and (if this ever gets out IRL I'm screwed) an incredibly sensitive person.. The few relationships I've had in my life have all been with emotional abusers, women who made me their punching bag whenever they were depressed or angry. My last girlfriend used to use the threat of killing herself to cow me whenever I didn't go along with whatever she wanted, and it worked, because the thought of losing her and being alone again scared the shit out of me. Thanks to my sister I finally got out of that mess, but it's the kind of woman I tend to attract, when I do attract a woman.

 

[JennyOmanHill]

STP

Please don't stop being a nice guy! There's too few of you around as it is!

 

[seXieleXie]

i have never slept with/dated someone who isn't nice, man or woman. i give the nice guys lovin' but one person can only do so much!
please believe me guys, there is a woman out there searching for a genuinely nice guy to turn on with all the power of her love (and sex drive).
i can't pretend to understand why women drop nice guys like hot rocks. i don't know how many girl i've watched throw away a good man who i would have got down on my knees and begged to go out with me.
people are fucked up. men are scared of commitment and women are scared of nice men. it sucks. i wish i could help.

STP i know you're hurting. all the cyber hugs in the world won't end that. but all of us at lit are here for you, and most of us have been there. i hope your heart heals and you can find that special someone who actually deserves you.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

I dont know what else to say

Bend me over that pool table and whisper all those unpolite things in my ear...... I'll listen

Hell, I might even let you win another game, lol

 

[Debbie]

I wasn't meaning to sound like I was giving out platitudes.
STP I have been where you are many times and I am only 32. I am a nice person. I treat others the way I like to be treated and hope for that in return. I have had times in my life where I have been so angry that being nice has got me nowhere. People wipe their boots on me, walk over me and come back for seconds.
I decided I needed to change. Not who I was. I prefer to be nice. (Even though the word sometimes sticks in the back of my throat! )
I was silly and naiive when I was younger. I thought I could fix all the problems in the world and found myself with jerks and assholes. Took me years to figure out I wanted to help make them better.? *shaking head at my own stupidity* Meanwhile I missed out on some really great guys becuase I was being screwed by mean minded, shallow dicks who treated me like dirt. WHY? Because I let them.
I am still a nice person. The only thing I have changed is what I will allow people to do to me.
Take care

Debbie

 

[Sassy7]

Re: STP

Please don't stop being a nice guy! There's too few of you around as it is!

I agree, there are not enough nice guys around. I keep finding all the jerks, and would love to find a nice guy. Sorry you are hurting, I know how that feels. I have had my heart stomped on a few times. Hang in there, the right person will come along. Hugs.

 

[Debbie]

Re: Re: No More Mister Nice Guy!

Don't try to change - like JMJ said, we are wired the way we are, and we aren't really good at being assholes. Let the assholes have the dim-witted bitches that choose them.

There, have I sufficiently tarnished my rep as a nice guy yet? Good! What have I got to loose? Not much from what I can tell. [/B]

You haven't tarnished your nice guy reputation at all! I like what you had to say about being wired the way we are.

 

[Elizabeth]

((((STP)))) Don't stop being a nice guy. We ladies here, love ya the way you are.

 

[sch00lteacher]

I am not such a nice guy. I am kinda rough around the edges. Not always, but sometimes.

But I was born in the Appalachian mountains, and rasied by mountain people.

I will always treat a woman as a lady. I will open doors, light cigarettes, defend their honor...

And I will expect other men to do the same. If not I might piss you off a little bit, like I said I am kinda rough around the edges.

If I see you miss treat a little ol' grey haired woman (i.e. slam a door in her face, etc.) I will kick your ass. And if we were back home I'd have about twenty other guys helping me do it.

 

[StondTmplPilot]

I am not such a nice guy. I am kinda rough around the edges. Not always, but sometimes.

But I was born in the Appalachian mountains, and rasied by mountain people.

I will always treat a woman as a lady. I will open doors, light cigarettes, defend their honor...

And I will expect other men to do the same. If not I might piss you off a little bit, like I said I am kinda rough around the edges.

If I see you miss treat a little ol' grey haired woman (i.e. slam a door in her face, etc.) I will kick your ass. And if we were back home I'd have about twenty other guys helping me do it.