New Story Reviews (volunteers welcome!)

[janiexx]

Monday Reviews.

I'm sure my choice for today was inspired by the lunar eclipse on Saturday night...

Both stories are written by drksideofthemoon and are in the non-erotic category.

The first, Prairie Dreams: Memories is a wonderfully nostalgic look back at growing up and the simple pleasures of life. drksideofthemoon paints a beautiful picture of carefree youth, unspoilt by today's computer games and TV. The writing flows smoothly and made me smile as I imagined the things he got up to when he was growing up.

The second, Prairie Dreams: Duke n Earl was another beautifully written story, this time concentrating on the author's Uncle Harry who sounded like a real character. It's a story of a bygone age, obliterated by today's technology and the horses Duke and Earl were as valuable then as a state of the art tractor is today.

I have to admit, both stories brought tears to my eyes as I read, the vivid descriptions creating a stream of images in my head, like a good film.

That's it for me today. Enjoy!


Please also remember to direct any COMMENTS or QUESTIONS about these reviews HERE. Thanks!

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Belated Sunday Review 1

Galactic Slave- Ch. 06 by dweaver999
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=300114

Category: Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Review:

It's a bit short and extreme in some ways, but anyone with Gorean-style fantasies can appreciate this hot tale of sci-fi bondage. Even if the Master is a bit too harsh at times, he also still explains things to Susan as one would to another person, and the mix of alien cultures and customs is most intriguing as well. It really presents the question of how much a low-tech society can assimilate into a high-tech one, or if it even should. Still, a little more sex would help. Still, it's quality sci-fi and I have a soft spot for that, so I give it a 5.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Belated Sunday Review 2

You Are All Mine by SisterWiseAss
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=297208

Category: Lesbian Sex

Review:

While I'm not normally a fan of second-person work, this hot Sapphic bondage tale is worth overlooking such a quirk. In this case, it lends itself to the intensity of the encounter between the Mistress/Domme and her sub/slave girlfriend. I only wish that there was more dialogue, but it was still a fine, steamy lesbian tale. I give it a 5 as well.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Belated Sunday Review 3

Awakening The Beast by Shay73
http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=284959

Category: BDSM

Review:

Once again, this is an exception to my usual dislike of 2nd-person narrative. It's an extremely hot and sensual tale of D/s, this time with a Master and his slave, written from the slave's POV and addressed to her Master. It has a bit of dialogue, and while shorter than I would have liked, conveys a bit of affection between Master and slave as well. This is just as hot as the Sapphic one and also deserves a 5.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Belated Sunday Review 4

Payback Is A Bitch by easygoingguy
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=298498

Category: Incest/Taboo

Review:

This is a real guilty pleasure. It involves a cheating husband and a cheating girlfriend, so if you can't handle that, then don't read it. It is kind of short, but it is still hot, and I think that a lot of men with wives who won't fuck them anymore and hot, grown stepdaughters would probably relate to this as a fantasy. This is just an incest fantasy with a cheating element. The spoiled rich girl being grudge-fucked and loving it theme particularly appeals to me, I admit. She is most doing this for money, anyway, though he is also threatening to tell his wife about her being sexually active. It's a hot, nasty stroke piece and should be enjoyed and appreciated as such. I give it a 5, relieved to finally find a fourth story on Sunday worthy of such a rating.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Helping out Red here a little....

My Letter To You by wtdgirl1
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=300573

Category: Letters/Transcripts

Review:

This is a short, but hot little letter between a woman and her girlfriend, whom she apparantly wants to make her girlfriend in the other sense of the word. It is very intense and sensual, at least in my opinion. I gave it a 5, not only for the descriptions of lesbian sex, but also for the gutsiness in the character penning something like this to a previously platonic friend.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Wednesday's Reviews on Thursday (plus one Thursday review)

I was a very busy Litster yesterday and so missed Wednesday’s reviews, that and honestly I forgot I was back to doing them, this time on Wednesday. So these stories came out yesterday, March 7th.

First Review is a Lesbian Sex story:

Chapter one of rachlou’s Awakening :

This was a sweet, medium paced story of a young woman’s first climax as well as her first everything. . .touch, caress, attraction (perhaps) to another woman. It was written with detail that kept me wishing I was that young woman experiencing her first encounter with a tantalizing creature of the same sex.

This came out today, but how could I not continue the story. . .and so the review goes on. This chapter rachlou placed in the Nonconsent/Reluctance category.

Chapter 2: Awakening: A completely different chapter, and yet not. There is a reason for it being in the category rachlou chose and it is quick, but full of feeling and passion. Passion not in an erotic way. . .at least not till the end and though there isn’t any erotica described, it is felt in the way rachlou captures the emotions between the couple.

I really enjoyed both stories and would recommend them for a soft, pleasurable love story type read. A true romance.

If you’d like to comment on this review, or others please post on the Comments and Suggestions Thread.

Thanks,

Red.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Another Wednesday review on a Thursday.

This story came out yesterday, March 7th.

Category: Erotic Couplings


With just two submissions under their belt, I read:

Pitching a Tent - by fitter113.

Fitter writes a very detailed story about a couple camping out in the woods, but to me it comes across as a “he did this” “she did that” type of read. The detail is great, don’t get me wrong. It is well written as far as grammar, punctuation and spelling, but what I mean is there is no real emotion. It felt flat to me.

I’d like to see less of “his hands did this” “her hands did that”. . . I’d like to “feel” where those hands were going and “see” what was happening, instead of feeling like I was being told it all in a step by step guide.

I believe that fitter would make a great detailed erotic writer with more stories under his belt and more reading what other well known writers from the Favorite’s Portal have submitted.

If you’d like to comment on this review, or others please post on the Comments and Suggestions Thread.

Thanks,

Red.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

March 8th review for a March 7th story

A March 7th story for March 8th’s reviews. . .

Category: Erotic Couplings

I chose Story for a Friend by RidingWriter. This is this author’s first submission here at Lit.

This was another detailed fantasy. A man meets his lover at a restaurant and enjoys an evening of seduction and desire.

Written in first person wasn't a distraction for me, but the flow of the story was. . .it didn't flow well for me. There are many run on sentences, almost paragraphs of them. What I think would make this more pleasing to the eye is having these sentences broken down and made into more than just comma, after comma of detail. I see potential in this writer, but the sentence structure needs (In my opinion) to be honed and cleaned up.

I think this would be a "HOT" number if it were edited and resubmitted. I know had I not been reading a long litany of commas, I would have been a very aroused reviewer.

If you’d like to comment on this review, or others please post on the Comments and Suggestions Thread.

Thanks,

Red.

 

[sirhugs]

early....

...how nice of Lit to post over a page of new tales early today before I have to fly...

A few quick hits. More later if I have time.

She Liked It! by nighttimestories in Exhibitionist & Voyeur I found to be a lot of story for very little sex. What sex is there is abbreviated and lacks detail.It should work for hard core genre fans, and I liked the dialogue. A few jarring editing errors. Not the best example of this prolific writer's work, but a worthwhile read.

Addicted to my Ex-wife by JoeDreamer in Loving Wives has both a somewhat deceptive title and misleading category. Still, it is dialogue driven and a good read, though the plot is obvious and there is too much tell, not enough show - I never found myself 'watching this play in my mind like a movie' - my indication that a writer has truly captured me. Some nice grace notes in the sex, but the scenes are very short. If this wasa 'message' story, I missed the message, and not quite enough heat or tempo to be a great romp. Another average entry from a prolific writer who has done better.

For Her Family ch 6 by Athena_e19 in Nonconsent/Reluctance is a long tale that I am mentioning because it IS an example of the sort of sexual detail that I enjoy, and think Lit readers generally deserve more of. I have not read all the chapters, as this is not usually my category. This episode is is mainly incest, the reluctance a plot device. The events unfolded a little slowly for me ( some say that about my stories though), and at times it needed more dialogue. I've been reading a lot of athena lately- we've been posting across each other on Story Ideas, and I prefer her other works, such as Impregnation, but this is an above average story, with great sex scenes, so I cite it as a model, and recommend her as a writer worth a good hard look

Gotta go. I'll try to Blast from the Past in a bit. Remember, brickbats or boquets go on the Comments Thread

 

[sirhugs]

Blast from the Past

Sunrise at Sea by mannydcamp won "Best Loving Wives" story for 2004, so I thought I would recommend it for those who are leery about the category. It is a nicely developed "sharing with buddy" tale, good food for thought, insights into life choices. Mannydcamp is a couple, and I was left wondering if they live in the lifestyle, as their profile claims. It must ring "true". The sex is well detailed, with nice grace notes. At three Lit pages., it is no short stroker. I wished there was more dialogue, and at times it did seem to collapse too much action into too short a passage, to manage the lngth and hold the reader's interest. I wanted more detail about the people. Mannydcamp did post 13 stories, the most recent in 2005. Nine are rated "Hot". Not all are equally great, but there are many I have enjoyed, such as Our First Soft Swing , a long time personal fave that has influenced my own writing, though it has no dialogue and and is much shorter.

If you have comments on this review, or reviews generally, go to the Comments Thread

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Special Review

Getting My Boyfriend Back by Talynnda
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=297785

Category: Erotic Couplings

Review:

This is an awesome, naughty little tale....short and sweet! Of course, if you can't handle a little cheating in a work of fiction, then don't read it. However, if you can relax and enjoy yourself, I highly recommend this delicious stroke piece. I give it a 5.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Mystery/Suspense Thriller

Brodricksburg- Ch. 2 by K.K.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=301159

Category: Loving Wives

Review:

While I don't think that I'd put up with how the wife treated the man, this isn't really an LW story. I was drawn in first by the comments that alluded to a detective story. I read it and was impressed, though I think that it belongs better with the Non-Erotic or Novella categories. It's a very gripping detective story and I give it a 5. The marital issues were more of a subplot, in fact.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Rape, Rescue, and Sapphic Romance.

Saving Denise by turtlebabe45
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=301203

Category: Nonconsent/Reluctance

Review:

The sex itself is not as great, but that's realistic for a gang-rape scenario. This is a believable tale of romance between teacher/student, both of whom just happen to be women. They don't really get that intimate with each other at this point: just a kiss. However, it is a kiss that promises more for later, so is rather sexy, in my opinion. The way that the professor resisted her feelings for her student, until the student rescued her, was quite realistic as well. It made sense. However, something tells me that they won't worry about how inappropriate their relationship might be in the future. I give this one a 5.

 

[janiexx]

It's Monday again.

Just the one review tonight.

June in August

by techsan

Mature

A very well-written story featuring an older man, hampered by crippling arthritis, who meets a larger-than-life woman. Lust and passion ensue and I loved the detailed sex scenes in this tale and the obvious delight that the author takes in the female form. This is not your usual story of perfect bodies and I enjoyed it all the more for that. Sex is not just for the fit and beautiful.

It's a comfortable two Lit pages and I was drawn into the story, enjoying the sheer joie de vivre of this submission.

A well-earned "5" from me.

That's it for tonight. Enjoy!


Please also remember to direct any COMMENTS or QUESTIONS about these reviews HERE.Thanks!

 

[sirhugs]

saturday....

.....finds more than a few tasty treats. These are just a few that caught my eye:

In-Laws On Display by boxlicker101 in exhibitionist & voyeur is too short , by my reckoning. It is well written, tackling the question what a woman might do with her sister's husband while her husband and the sister sleep off their alcohol. Suspend disbelief and jump in. The dialogue is crisp, the action hot- I won't spoil it by telling you how far she goes.....I'm hoping there is a sequel!

Chandra's Dates by JustPlainBob, in Loving Wives (where else?) tackles the question of what a wife does when she dates co workers to hide her secret marriage ( the company has a no nepotism policy). It is hot and twisted, with lots of sex, intrigue and dialogue. It ids longer and more developed as a story ithamn many of Bob's efforts, but is strokeworthy, though not short, and if you empathize with the narrator hubby, it might be a bumpy ride.

New Writer Review

The Club by Wife_Voyeur, also in LW, when compared with JPB's story, shows the reach of the category - this is a quick no hold bars romp, full of hot sex, but with a lovely twist ending, and a hint of further adventures to come. A few spots in the writing are a bit rough - the present/past tense shifts seem random, "stalky" replaces "stocky" in a character description, for two examples - but if W_V finds an editor, the promise for the future is enormous, as are the thrills. W_V should not be discouraged by the trolls. If you visit, please encourage him (it is his first story).

Blast From the Past

Gail Prefers Peter by HadrianM, in Loving Wives, posted March 20, 2001, is both "Hot" and an Editor's choice. HadrianM submitted 14 stories ( 13 between 2001 and 2003, then one more in 2006 just to tease us) all but one ranked "H". Each tale stands solo, though characters recur. It is well developed, though improbable, and the heat makes up for any "moral" qualms.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

This was one hell of a funny read...

I Married John Cerrutti by angiquesophie
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=301050

Category: Humor/Satire

Review:

I laughed until I almost cried. It was hilarious. That kind of policy will teach a cheating wife to set a double standard for hubby....though I don't get why the hell he keeps marrying those women....is this guy a different kind of Bluebeard? I give it a 5. It was a great exercise in humor and satire, so it definitely belonged here. The wife's sense of "injustice" had me rolling my eyes and laughing my ass off. I must applaud the writer for her parody and encourage her to write more stuff of this vein. I highly recommend it.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Single Review for tonight

Orgy, Literotica Style- Ch. 1 by Hallowed Eve

Category: Chain Stories

Review:

You gotta love the way that our darling Eve writes these cute, naughty little tales. The way that she puts in Femdom without being over the top or threatening, along with the way that she and the Captain confuse the poor clerk with a fake "incest" angle, along with the invisibility and group sex ideas (an MFF threesome with some steamy Sapphic sex involved), all make this beginning of a hot chain story an excellent start. I look forward to the next chapters and give it a 5. Oh, did I mention the full-fledged lesbian sex, by the way?

 

[BedtimeStories77]

Orgy, Literotica Style- Ch. 1 by Hallowed Eve

Category: Chain Stories

Review:

You gotta love the way that our darling Eve writes these cute, naughty little tales. The way that she puts in Femdom without being over the top or threatening, along with the way that she and the Captain confuse the poor clerk with a fake "incest" angle, along with the invisibility and group sex ideas (an MFF threesome with some steamy Sapphic sex involved), all make this beginning of a hot chain story an excellent start. I look forward to the next chapters and give it a 5. Oh, did I mention the full-fledged lesbian sex, by the way?

Thanks Babe. Figured I'd post since the link to the chapter is in my sig line and You never linked it in Your post.

 

[MadelynW]

Would anyone like to have a look at my story?

My 'new' story (actually a re-write of one that I recently withdrew) has just gone up.

If anyone wants to have a look, please do.

It's at:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=302595

Is this OK? Or am I being too pushy?

I'd just really like some constructive critism...

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Thanks Babe. Figured I'd post since the link to the chapter is in my sig line and You never linked it in Your post.

Thank you for your reply. You had no way of knowing this, not being an AH regular, but there is another thread for the comments and suggestions on the reviews. Just for future notice, since I imagine that you'll be reviewed again.

 

[sirhugs]

On with the Show...

...this is it!!!

Yeah, I really AM Looney Tunes....

April by L.A. Wicker, in Mature. Suspend your disbelief and jump in, and see if you , like me , find that L.A.W. can take clanky improbable plots and write wonderfully steamy sex that redeems them? This version is "ex girlfriend's Mom". The improbability meter jumps when the moment after the 'hello' hug, April is expounding on how her hubby was caught screwing around, etc. A few paragraphs later, his hands are on her breasts. What works is that L.A.W. keeps the sex rolling for hundreds or thousands of words. Not a short stroker, but definitely a stroker!

Pam and the Test Drive by jallen944 in Incest/Taboo is a brother/sister story that is flawed because it never,, except in the description, mentions the relationship. If all you do is read the story, Pam could be any hot slut. Fortunately, the sex is graphically detailed and dialogue is abundant, so on my standards, it is an excellent read. High [raise indeed, since bro/sis sex is not a big attraction here ( my sis, you wouldn't want to take for a drive, trust me). But if you want shivers up your spine, tingling to your toes, try this one.

Morning Coffee Ch 1 by espeteroh in Mature, sad to say wastes a great title. I hate giving a mixed review to a writer I love, but most readers will hit "Back" after the dull opening. Those of us who loved earlier works might soldier on to endure trite dialogue and, alas, interrupted sex. Stay turned for chapter two, because the nicely detailed sex was just getting good...

Blast From the Past

Girl's Tennis Coach by Slickman, in Mature, posted March 6, 2004 is an example of the range possible in this category, and how good writing transcends pigeonholing. Chapter Two is hotter and more perverse, but I tried reading them originally in reverse order, and , trust me, you want to read these in order. As is Slick's habit, the stories are long, and unfold in exquisite detail. The way the tension builds however, keeps you scolling, as you need to know what happens next, so that you can breathe again. Nothing trite here. I'd say more, but why spoil it?

These reviews are just one Looney's views. If you want to review, jump in. If you want a debate, or just to comment, we have a comments thread for y'all.

Peace out....

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Perfect Loving Wives

What Comes Next? by J.J. Adler has to be the most perfect Loving Wives story I've ever read. There's not a thing to complain about here. The writing is good, the storyline believable, the sex HOT, and the couple's struggle is very real.

Highly recommend this one!

 

[sirhugs]

New Writer Review Edition Saturday

It was such fun to see so many new and newer writers submitting today, I decided to feature a few....


My Big Puffy Nipples and Earth Day by grushenka, in exhibitionist & voyeur may not be outdoorsy enough for the contest, but contains more than enough style, deft dialogue and steamy sex for a third entry from a promising contributor. I think Grushenka writes firmly tongue in cheek, perhaps right down to his/her bio. I think in time, she should stretch out the sex scenes with more detail. If you like smutty, fun and fast paced, check this one out.

Art Classes by handwriter, in Loving Wives is so well done, I suspect hand has written elsewhere. Suspend disbelief and dive right in. It even has a double twist ending. Along the way, if you don't measure improbability, the dialogue is smooth, the action intense, the sex detailed and varied. Not a short stroker, but hot enough for that crowd, and long enough for the more discerning, or post coital, reader as well.

Weekend With Sir by badlilgoodgirl in bdsm is a first story. It shows great promise. Though not my cuppa tea, there is detail and intensity. More experience hopefully will give 'bad' the confidence to extend the length and develop more plot and dialogue around the steamy sex scenes. If you like kink, and are not easily shock, read this.

Tennis Night by janetsue in Anal is another sexually detailed first submission. Like "Art Classes" the plot is unbelievable, but that hardly matters. This short stroker is almost all kinky varied sex. The category is almost irrelevant. Even if Anal is not your taste, if you want to read one handed, this story works well. It should find a bountiful Lit audience. and hopefully janetsue will return often.

Sarah's Birthday by A.J. Zulu in Incest/Taboo is unfortunately a more typical first entry. it suffers from too much show, not enough tell. It needed more editing - simple things like missing pronouns., more important errors like more than one character speaking in a paragraph. The sex is more detailed than the weakest stories, so there is promise here, but a long road ahead.

I skipped over lots of great stories, and invite discussion of the reviews I gave. So review if you wish, or comment on the Comments Thread please.

 

[cawastedyouth]

Just a highlight

I found inka's story "Tales in Slavery Pt2" by accident today.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=304686

It's been so long since I found anything that caught my attention and kept it. Her characters are fairly common, I would feel, but inka has managed to flesh out their presence so very vividly that they don't seem rehashed. You want the story, and the sex to just continue. She manages to balance the Non-Human main category against such juxtapositions as Master/slave, Humanity/depravation, Healing/suffering.

I look forward to more of inka's work.