Nancy Friday

[Eyewitness]

Hey Listers,
So this post may be a dead duck, but I was wondering about the work of Nancy Friday.
Her first book, published in 1973, was My Secret Garden, a compilation of her interviews with women discussing their sexuality and fantasies, which became a bestseller. Has anybody here read this or any of her further works?
Would be interested to know people's thoughts and reactions, how did you come across this work in the first place? And has it influenced you in anyway? Looking for both male and female perspectives.

 

[IrishStarlight]

So I remember when I was a teen a neighbour gave us a box of old books and amongst the Mills and Boons and Detective Novels was Nancy Friday's My Secret Garden, so obviously as a curious young girl my interest was super piqued! It became a really important text for me in terms of forming my desires my curiosity seeing the word 'cunt' for the first time in print.. omg...some of the stuff in it I didn't even know about or understand at that point. I hid the book under my mattress and often masturbated with it. Unfortunately at one point my mother found it said it was not the type of book we should have in the house and I think she actually burned it... (that book was banned in Ireland at one point!). But it was amazingly groundbreaking and actually probably still is. Thanks Nancy!!

 

[Eyewitness]

So I remember when I was a teen a neighbour gave us a box of old books and amongst the Mills and Boons and Detective Novels was Nancy Friday's My Secret Garden, so obviously as a curious young girl my interest was super piqued! It became a really important text for me in terms of forming my desires my curiosity seeing the word 'cunt' for the first time in print.. omg...some of the stuff in it I didn't even know about or understand at that point. I hid the book under my mattress and often masturbated with it. Unfortunately at one point my mother found it said it was not the type of book we should have in the house and I think she actually burned it... (that book was banned in Ireland at one point!). But it was amazingly groundbreaking and actually probably still is. Thanks Nancy!!

Thanks for your input Starlight,
Indeed the book was a very taboo one to possess in Ireland back then, and probably still would be viewed the same way, by a large segment of society here to this day.
Like yourself I kept my copy hidden, not only to be used while masturbating, but to explore Friday's concepts and thesis about female sexuality, it's a topic that still fascinates me, and probably will until I pass this mortal coil. E

 

[twister947]

The Zipless Fuck!

 

[Eyewitness]

The

The Zipless Fuck!

Correct me if I’m wrong but that’s a term coined by Erica Jong. She also wrote that, "The zipless fuck is the purest thing there is. It's also rarer than a unicorn”

 

[twister947]

Correct me if I’m wrong but that’s a term coined by Erica Jong. She also wrote that, "The zipless fuck is the purest thing there is. It's also rarer than a unicorn”

You are correct (and I'm not). Good catch.

 

[Intrigued42]

I'm curious, with regard to the book banning, probably right after it was published in 1973: when were the Magdalene Laundries finally closed? I've found "sometime in the 1980s" but does anyone know when the last of them was closed?

 

[Eyewitness]

I'm curious, with regard to the book banning, probably right after it was published in 1973: when were the Magdalene Laundries finally closed? I've found "sometime in the 1980s" but does anyone know when the last of them was closed?

I believe that the book was banned in Ireland up until the early to mid 1990s, the mother and babies homes were in operation until 1998, at least that was the last date for the terms of reference for the government investigations into them ( a whitewash imo)

 

[drouin88]

I somehow came across this book on the internet when I was younger. Given some of the fantasies I have my Favorites sections were the ‘Incest’ and ‘Younger Boys’. It was nice knowing women had these fantasies also.

 

[Horny_rabbi]

I had a girlfriend back in college who was sexually very shy. One day I discovered that she was a huge Nancy Friday fan when I caught her masturbating and she confessed to frequent self-pleasure as she read My Secret Garden and Women on Top. That started some amazing sessions as I would read them aloud to her and she fingered herself to orgasm after orgasm.

 

[magicalmoments]

I discovered Nancy Friday shortly after "My Secret Garden" was published, probably mid 70's. I was a young married man and the book was instrumental in opening our eyes to sexual possibilities. Was key to us leading into swinging and what as known back in the day as wife swapping.
I bought each one of her sexual fantasy books as they came out, Still have them on my bookshelves.

 

[Oshkosh60]

At one point, I had all of her books....My Secret Garden, Women on Top, and Men In Love. they were the best.....I recently found one of them and read a few dozen stories. Very interesting and honest.

 

[Polranny]

Thanks for your input Starlight,
Indeed the book was a very taboo one to possess in Ireland back then, and probably still would be viewed the same way, by a large segment of society here to this day.
Like yourself I kept my copy hidden, not only to be used while masturbating, but to explore Friday's concepts and thesis about female sexuality, it's a topic that still fascinates me, and probably will until I pass this mortal coil. E

I had to laugh Looked it up on World of Books ... they suggest I might also like 'The 5 day juice' book

 

[jennifer1978]

I used to sneak my parents' copy of the book

 

[nightowl75]

My mom had a copy of “Women on Top” which I found and began to read at 15 or 16. This would’ve been around 1991. The fantasies in that book we’re eye opening. Five years later I bought a paperback copy at a local bookstore. I’ve never read any of her other works.

 

[Stoicbutfun]

Hi and yes loved My Secret Garden, Women on Top, Forbidden Flowers. As a guy it was great to know that we all really have these fantasies, some of which are regarded as taboo, and it is healthy to be able to open up and talk about them. I still read them and definitely masturbate to a few of them. It would be great to chat with anyone about them, a kind of online sex related book club maybe getting ahead of myself here… Great books though and Nancy Friday is an extraordinary lady!

 

[jennifer1978]

My Secret Garden is online as a pdf. It seems so quaint now with all the porn on the internet.

 

[StrongMaster7]

My mom had a bunch of borderline 'dirty' books. I remember My Secret Garden very well. I masturbated to the women's stories a lot. I also remember The Sensuous Woman and beating off to the author urging female readers to try anal sex. I used to babysit a lot and many people had The Happy Hooker on their bookshelves. I jerked it to that book dozens of times. Before the internet, books and magazines were it for 'stroke' material.

 

[Stoicbutfun]

My Secret Garden is online as a pdf. It seems so quaint now with all the porn on the internet.

I know what you mean, a bygone age I like it when I don’t need a quick ‘fix’!

 

[Dillharris]

In the 70's, I was a 15 year old boy/man working at a public library when I discovered Nancy. My Secret Garden had a profound impact on my ideological sexual development. Although I had seen Playboy and a Penthouse, I had not yet been exposed to porn, certainly not as it exists today. It lead to Sher Hite and a myriad of other pioneers of female sexuality and laid the foundation of how I perceived sex, particularly from a woman's perspective. Let's just say it was vastly different from what my other 15 year old boys/men friends were thinking and talking about.
Thanks Nancy!

 

[EmmaJ622]

So I remember when I was a teen a neighbour gave us a box of old books and amongst the Mills and Boons and Detective Novels was Nancy Friday's My Secret Garden, so obviously as a curious young girl my interest was super piqued! It became a really important text for me in terms of forming my desires my curiosity seeing the word 'cunt' for the first time in print.. omg...some of the stuff in it I didn't even know about or understand at that point. I hid the book under my mattress and often masturbated with it. Unfortunately at one point my mother found it said it was not the type of book we should have in the house and I think she actually burned it... (that book was banned in Ireland at one point!). But it was amazingly groundbreaking and actually probably still is. Thanks Nancy!!

I so agree - I found My Secret Garden a seriously exciting book. It opened my eyes certainly as a teenager, and we would pass it around amongst my circle of girlfriends, marking the pages we each liked! Some of us (ahem) went on to act out some of the fantasies and dreams we read that other women had tried (but that's another story).

I think I read one or two of her others, but none had such an impact (on me) as My Secret Garden - our very own MSG! Looking back with more feminist eyes, and obvs more experience - some of it does read quaint (or even queynte) and faintly old-fashioned - but sheesh, it was progressive back in the day. Would be interesting to know what a 15/16-year old today would make of it.

Thankyou to the OP.

 

[Eyewitness]

My Secret Garden is online as a pdf. It seems so quaint now with all the porn on the internet.

Never thought it would be called quaint, but I get you about the comparisons of what’s readily available on the web now.

 

[Oshkosh60]

My Secret Garden is online as a pdf. It seems so quaint now with all the porn on the internet.

But that is what made it so real and authentic. They were so much less bragging and more of the writer putting it down on paper as if to search for an understanding of their proclivities in the nature of sexual matters. I loved all of her books. Thanks for the information....agree with Stoic on starting an NF book club.

 

[Wonderer67]

My mom was dead set on teaching us kids about sex. She got my sisters the “our bodies, ourselves” books and I got a book called “the abz of love.”

She wanted us to be educated about sex, but she never really talked to me (and I’m guessing my sisters) about sex.

She also got us a few Nancy Friday books, which really opened my eyes about sez and fantasizing. I jerked off to those fantasies and stories like crazy. It was the early 80s.

My mom was pretty progressive. As a grandma, she got all of the female grandkids the our bodies ourselves book too.

 

[Dad442]

Hey Listers,
So this post may be a dead duck, but I was wondering about the work of Nancy Friday.
Her first book, published in 1973, was My Secret Garden, a compilation of her interviews with women discussing their sexuality and fantasies, which became a bestseller. Has anybody here read this or any of her further works?
Would be interested to know people's thoughts and reactions, how did you come across this work in the first place? And has it influenced you in anyway? Looking for both male and female perspectives.

Yes my wife love(s)My secret Garden as do I. My wife had the book, I did not buy it but I sure did enjoy reading it. On a 1-5 scale I give it an 8. I did make me supportive of my wife’s bi side.