My Grandfather and a Sausage

[geronimo_appleby]

tragedy struck in the summer of 1976 when the great hair weevil epidemic cut a swathe through middle england

delores however triumphed in through adversity and became too sexy for her shirt

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1363/1471980420_28eff70a4f.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

she sang:

I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan​

milan yesterday

http://trustedplaces.com/uploads/placepics/124333_fc2cbade.640.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

after the weevil tragedy and subsequent minor celebrity status, delores decided to write her memoirs

http://www.jimandellen.org/JanLievensOldWomanReading.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

and thus was broken the scandal involving the Polish lycra testing team

http://cucinatestarossa.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/red_bike_shorts_1.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

the scandal was that the bloke on the far left of the picture is, in fact, delores second cousin. none other than john terry.

john terry and his new hat

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_03/JohnTerryWENN_468x380.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

following his villification by the media, john went into hiding, but he was still easily identifiable by his penchant for blue lycra.

john pictured centre below.

http://www.weeklystandard.com/weblogs/TWSFP/100_0042.JPG

 

[geronimo_appleby]

unfortunately the blue lycra failed to sustain delores interest and she soon lost touch with her cousin.

delores found herself sliding deeper into the pit of iniquity.

delores and her kinky friends

http://images2.jokaroo.net/images/retired.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

...and then shit got really weird

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Media/Pix/pictures/2008/02/27/ulrika460.jpg

 

[PearlNecklace]

Where are you finding these pics?

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Where are you finding these pics?

in this box. originally left to me by great uncle pythagoreum-olaf-testicle in his will

http://www.ministryofpropaganda.co.uk/blogimages/20050222-box.jpg

 

[PearlNecklace]

in this box. originally left to me by great uncle pythagoreum-olaf-testicle in his will

http://www.ministryofpropaganda.co.uk/blogimages/20050222-box.jpg

What a treasure!

 

[geronimo_appleby]

What a treasure!

meet treasure.

http://a693.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/10/l_edf1ea0bed7f2fcce9f4c123865ea034.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

delores then took up amatuer dramatics.

delores playing the part of a bottle of wine in a midsummer night's dream, preston, lancs, 1926

http://www.georgehunka.com/blog/graphics/women.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

her next role was playing a television set in an episode of the bill, 1988.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3055/2614108133_3a2313e1b8.jpg?v=0

 

[geronimo_appleby]

delores acting career went from strength to strength; it seemed like she couldn't fail. then, the family curse played yet another ugly hand when a practical joke on kylie minogue went horribly wrong.

kylie pictured during the 'wedgie' incident

http://media.portland.indymedia.org/images/2007/03/355420.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

following the incident, boris the border guard was forced to dye his hair blonde and take up a posting in edgeware, london.

boris (left) with delores uncle john (centre)

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/05/21/article-1020864-0154144400000578-273_468x319_popup.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

the hat that john is wearing has had a colourful life too.

it began it's apprenticeship on the clyde shipyard in april 1972

http://www.tankmuseum.ru/images/china/team1.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

of course ships fell out of fashion

http://students.umf.maine.edu/~kellybt/index_files/imageSubmarine2sinking.gif

 

[geronimo_appleby]

...as did this hairstyle (praise be)

http://www.t-lay.com/images/mullet.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

following its truncated career in the shipyards, the hat 'experimented' in its late teens

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/184/454213767_f2360824a1.jpg?v=0

 

[lovemonster]

...as did this hairstyle (praise be)

http://www.t-lay.com/images/mullet.jpg

Is that from your holiday snaps last year?

 

[geronimo_appleby]

it spent time on the party circuit

http://www.hugpug.com/photos/sheba_layout/party_rusty.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Is that from your holiday snaps last year?

no, but he shit a kid!

 

[geronimo_appleby]

...and it dabbled briefly in crime

http://seoblackhat.com/images/non-seo-cassidy-in-black-hat-.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

of course, crime doesn't pay

http://www.encoreonstage.com/images/costumes/LA-83027.jpg