My Grandfather and a Sausage

[geronimo_appleby]

delores found herself - she'd been lost for several hours - on a farm. she learned how to operate a big green tractor...

a big green tractor

http://www.marshallauction.com/Multi/eichoffjd8220tractor.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

...anf then she learned to operate a big red tractor.

a big red tractor in an afghan poppy field

http://www.danheller.com/images/UnitedStates/Washington/Tulips/red-tulips-n-tractor-2-big.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

after harvesting poppies for forty years, delores then found an afghan coat.

she loved that coat.

the coat

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41236000/jpg/_41236196_rockblair_203.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

after her afghan adventures, and prison sentence, delores collected afghan memorabilia.

she collected an afghan hound...

the hound

http://www.exposay.com/celebrity-photos/rod-stewart-2006-clive-davis-pre-grammy-awards-party-xQsUdF.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

...and an outpost manned by soldiers.

an outpost

http://cache.boston.com/resize/bonzai-fba/AP_Photo/2008/06/18/1213792662_0399/539w.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

it was then things started to get weird.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

something weird from the future

http://www.gearfuse.com/wp-content/uploads/andrew/4_mar07/weird_helping_hand_49.jpg

 

[InnocentCuriosity]

something weird from the future

http://www.gearfuse.com/wp-content/uploads/andrew/4_mar07/weird_helping_hand_49.jpg

not entirely sure which bit is weird...
the plastic smiles?
the bouffant hair?
or the dismembered body parts holding her tits up??

 

[geronimo_appleby]

not entirely sure which bit is weird...
the plastic smiles?
the bouffant hair?
or the dismembered body parts holding her tits up??

it's the fact that it's 9:30am in the picture, yet seems to be the dead of night; although, the woman lurking in the background - all in pink - looks like the Dead of night.

 

[pleaz_me]

delores found herself - she'd been lost for several hours - on a farm. she learned how to operate a big green tractor...

a big green tractor

http://www.marshallauction.com/Multi/eichoffjd8220tractor.jpg

You found my other car!

 

[InnocentCuriosity]

You found my other car!

Blimey! I'm impressed at your recognition skills!
That little red jalopy is practically hidden behind the big green tractor!!

 

[geronimo_appleby]

delores found she was plagued by dreams. it felt as though she never slept.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

plague cottages, eyam, shortly before the plague...

http://www.wishful-thinking.org.uk/genuki/DBY/Eyam/PlagueCottages2.jpg

an artist's impression of a dream

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/AMA/SWEE100~Dream-In-Dream-Out-Posters.jpg

a scene from delores' dream

http://oldpeoplesridingclub.org/photos/soldier_expo.jpg

 

[lovemonster]

Could you ask that artist guy to get out of Luv's head? It's scary.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Could you ask that artist guy to get out of Luv's head? It's scary.

http://www.faculty.de.gcsu.edu/~rviau/ids/Artworks/giger.deadbabies.jpg

 

[lovemonster]

*shivers*

think of all those dirty nappies...and the puke.

 

[merlinsapprentice]

I also have a wonderfully colourful Family history. My great, great, great Grandfather (removed several times)............
Antonio Vivaldi was born in a derelict pastrami factory in Padua, Lombardi on 5th April 1793
His father was an itinerant pig-castrator of small stature, his Mother , a renowned finalist in the Alpine Talk- and – Dance Marathon of 1761, (Winning the Foot – and Mouth medallion in that year), was more famous for her inventions of Mortadella Emetico, a delicacy the main ingredient of which was porcine gonads.
Thus her meeting with Fred Vivaldi on a day trip to Abruzzi was a fortuitous one and the issue from their union was 13 children, three of whom may still be seen at the Universitat d´Dagos in Pamplona, in bottles.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

in an effort to combat the constant dreaming, delores took up physical pursuits in order to tire herself out and therefore sleep more soundly.

she took up ballroom dancing

http://www.massivedogz.com/Images/tanker%20004.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

...with a succession of partners

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/15/22809050_cf1c24d0bc.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

she swam every day

http://www.oasisvillas.com/gifs/mandc2.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

delores after a TV appearance on strictly cum dancing

http://www.c-b-t.com/wp-content/10.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

delores found fell running exhausting

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/aequitas3/funnypicturescowass.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

and eventually slept for twelve years straight through

http://www.voipmonitor.net/content/binary/asleep.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

when she awoke, delores joined the south-barkingmadshire facial hair growers association.

http://www.btp.police.uk/History%20Society/Images/History%20Society/Constituent%20Forces/Southampton%20Dock%20Police%2018901.jpg

 

[geronimo_appleby]

she was appointed president of the association in 1892

http://www.adb.online.anu.edu.au/images/portraits/A060302.jpg