LITEROTICA PODCAST
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Michigan Lady?

tsk tsk..

Hey babe!! Can we start our own clique?

Anacondaitis -- the trials and tribulations of big penisitis...

I need to start a support group to help me deal with this...

About 20 large busted women and I all sitting around on a large waterbed and discussing the issues involved...
 
the_tom_cat said:
Hey babe!! Can we start our own clique?

Anacondaitis -- the trials and tribulations of big penisitis...

I need to start a support group to help me deal with this...

About 20 large busted women and I all sitting around on a large waterbed and discussing the issues involved...
Click to expand...

May have to ;)

Did you get that definition from Websters, or the Urban Dictionary?

I doubt talking about 'it' is what you would want 20 big breasted women on a bed to be doing. That'd be a hecka big waterbed, bud!
 
Reminds me of my only megage de trios

Started from reading Penthouse Forum too two young lasses....

Ahhhhhh... those were the days....


So hows things in the country??

I am still enjoying life day at a time....
 
the_tom_cat said:
Started from reading Penthouse Forum too two young lasses....

Ahhhhhh... those were the days....


So hows things in the country??

I am still enjoying life day at a time....
Click to expand...

Well, life on the farm is kinda laid back
Aint much a not so old country girl like me cant hack
Its early to rise, early in the sack
Thank God Im a country girl!

I hope you know that song is now stuck in my head for the remainder of the day.:D

The key to enjoying life, my friend, it enjoying it a day at a time...so, good on ya!

YAY on your work thing, that was a bit worrisome at first.:rose:
 
Irish Prostitute

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cussed her.
'Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?'

The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff....Dad....I became a prostitute...'

'Yer what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'

'OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate.

For me little brother, this gold Rolex.

And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club........................ (takes a breath)............. and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and... ...' She is then interrupted by her Dad.

'Hold on girl, Now what was it ye said ye had become?'

Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff....a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff.'

'Oh! Be Jesus girl! Ye scared me half to death!
I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug.'
 
Well.....

Looks like Summer might actually FINALLY be getting here....

Now I am on a mission to start photographing you lasses on the Harley!!

Volunteers?

:)

I am very much impressed with natural beauty.... Dedicating a website too it soon...

In my spare time... ( cough )
 
Ouch!!

WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of romaine lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: 'Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.
 
Subject: SCHOOL 1957 VS 2007

SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch l ist and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
 
Red Wings!!

I can not believe that today they win and go to the Cup finals again!!

:)

I need a Red Wing fan nympho that loves playing euchre and/or pinochle...

:)
 
Short Joke

Officer, this is how the fight started...

I rear-ended the car in front of me. I admit that. It
was my fault! So, we
both pull over to the side of the road, and slowly the
driver of the car I
hit gets out of his car. . . and you know how you
just-get-sooo-stressed...
and life... sometimes life seems like... suddenly
funny?

Well, the driver of the car I hit is a DWARF!

He gets out of his car and I get out of my car. He is
frowning and scowling
and he storms over to me. Right up close at me he
looks up in my face and
says, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'

And I don't know what possessed me, officer, but I
look down at him and I
said, 'Well, if you're not Happy -- which one are
you?'
....... and that's when the fight started...
 
Headache

A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, 'I have a headache.'

'Perfect,' her husband said.' I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with crushed aspirin.

You can take it orally, or as a suppository, it's up to you.'
 
the_tom_cat said:
A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, 'I have a headache.'

'Perfect,' her husband said.' I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with crushed aspirin.

You can take it orally, or as a suppository, it's up to you.'
Click to expand...

now THAT's funny! :D
 
the_tom_cat said:
Officer, this is how the fight started...

I rear-ended the car in front of me. I admit that. It
was my fault! So, we
both pull over to the side of the road, and slowly the
driver of the car I
hit gets out of his car. . . and you know how you
just-get-sooo-stressed...
and life... sometimes life seems like... suddenly
funny?

Well, the driver of the car I hit is a DWARF!

He gets out of his car and I get out of my car. He is
frowning and scowling
and he storms over to me. Right up close at me he
looks up in my face and
says, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'

And I don't know what possessed me, officer, but I
look down at him and I
said, 'Well, if you're not Happy -- which one are
you?'
....... and that's when the fight started...
Click to expand...


That was funny. :D
 
Smart lil girl!!!

So, I was talking to this little girl Catherine, the daughter of some friends, and she said she wanted to be President some day.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there with us - and I asked Catherine - 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'

Catherine replied - 'I would give houses to all the homeless people.'

'Wow - what a worthy goal you have there, Catherine.' I told her, 'You don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and clean up all the dog poop in my back yard and I will pay you $5 dollars. Then we can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $5 dollars to use for a new house.'

Catherine (who was about 4) thought that over for a second, while her mom looked at me seething, and Catherine replied, 'why doesn't the homeless guy come over and clean up the dog poop and you can just pay him the $5 dollars?'

And I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'
 
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