Men now want women to be confident and make the first move

[Le Jacquelope]

It was only a matter of time.

http://www.happenmagazine.com/magazine/article0.aspx?articleid=5847

According to this poll:

Only ten percent of men want to ask a woman out. 75% of men want women to ask them out.

Most men would be flattered and would say yes.



Very interesting. It looks like nothing short of a revolution by men, a desire for a complete overthrow of over a million years of rules of reproduction forced upon just about every species of animal and insect that ever evolved out of the muck.

I don't know of any animal or insect species in which the female is ever the aggressor...

 

[Selena_Kitt]

I'm sooo glad I'm married and not "out there" dating.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Do you know of any other species of animal or insect that changes clothes? Or plays baseball, or sits its young down at school-desks, or worries about those youngsters becoming adults too soon?

I can't think of any insect or animal that serves eight course meals, or uses higher mathematics, or can create what is in its mind, or find its way into the elements it never belonged in before-- deep ocean and outer space. Or use birth control pills. Or, indeed, ignore female seasons of heat entirely.

Humans do a shitload of things that are contrary to Mother Nature. This is merely one out of the many.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Oops, got off on a rant there! What I really wanted to say, is that I don't think it's a revolution on the part of most men. I think it's the result of a revolution on the part of women... Who stopped waiting to be asked out, and started doing the asking. I remember how shocked some guys were when I'd do that, back in the '70s...

But as you can see, men have figured out what a boon it can be. Used to be, a woman accepting a man's date was still undecided. He'd spend that night, and many nights afterwards, worrying and wondering when the next step would come. A woman who asks a man out has just jumped a whole bunch of those steps.

 

[S-Des]

Actually, the title of this thread should be, "Men now not afraid of women who are confident enough to make the first move." We always would have liked to have felt desired by women, rather than having to figure out if they're interested (or if we can make them interested). It's just that for a long time, society taught us it was our job to do so (and that something must be wrong with a woman if she wanted to take matters into her own hands). We've progressed to the point where that's no longer the case. There are still men who prefer to make the first move, others who would rather a woman approach them, and still others who don't care, as long as they get the chance to meet someone desirable. I'm sure there are plenty of women who still prefer to be approached, while others just take what they want (I'm still waiting for one of them ).

 

[Stella_Omega]

Des-- when you meet the woman who takes what she wants-- you'll be took, trust me

 

[Le Jacquelope]

Actually, the title of this thread should be, "Men now not afraid of women who are confident enough to make the first move." We always would have liked to have felt desired by women, rather than having to figure out if they're interested (or if we can make them interested). It's just that for a long time, society taught us it was our job to do so (and that something must be wrong with a woman if she wanted to take matters into her own hands). We've progressed to the point where that's no longer the case. There are still men who prefer to make the first move, others who would rather a woman approach them, and still others who don't care, as long as they get the chance to meet someone desirable. I'm sure there are plenty of women who still prefer to be approached, while others just take what they want (I'm still waiting for one of them ).

Were men afraid of women who are confident enough to make the first move, or were they afraid of what society would say of them if they let her?

I think men were more afraid of what society would say, than of women who are aggressive. In fact I know lots of guys who secretly went for that kind of woman and then denied they did, publicly.

Heck, there were a lot more gay people than society would let come out of the closet... why not this, too?

 

[S-Des]

Were men afraid of women who are confident enough to make the first move, or were they afraid of what society would say of them if they let her?

I think men were more afraid of what society would say, than of women who are aggressive. In fact I know lots of guys who secretly went for that kind of woman and then denied they did, publicly.

Heck, there were a lot more gay people than society would let come out of the closet... why not this, too?

Well said, and I believe you're pretty close. A lot of guys were probably intimidated by women who were forward, but more were probably nervous about what their buddies (or their moms) would say.

 

[human_male]

How many women are prepared to do that, though, even in this day and age? I'd like to hear from ANY (straight) women who made the first move with their SO (not including the mr. populars that all the girls faun over and flirt with).

 

[Le Jacquelope]

Well said, and I believe you're pretty close. A lot of guys were probably intimidated by women who were forward, but more were probably nervous about what their buddies (or their moms) would say.

It runs almost parallel with the chicken vs the egg argument.

When I was coming up, The Graduate was less controversial than it was "damn, I wish I were him." Now, older women cougar "women prey on younger men" action is all the rage.

Now I also think some of any real "yuck, she approached me first!" must have stemmed from the belief that "if a woman makes the first move, she must be hideously ugly/fat/have mental problems because no woman with a pulse ever has to approach a guy." with a hefty helping of "how many times have you seen Halle Barry approach a guy?"

 

[Guest]

Well said, and I believe you're pretty close. A lot of guys were probably intimidated by women who were forward, but more were probably nervous about what their buddies (or their moms) would say.

I migth be off here, but when a woman is sexually soft and waits to be approached she is less threatening.

An independant, strong woman who takes what she wants awakes feelings of competition in certain men while flower pot women can be dismissed as harmless.

There is a bunch of men out there that need for women to need them.

Spoken from experience...

Maharat

 

[Liar]

I like it. For two reasons.

The first being self-image. I tend to think of my looks as not exactly prime beef, and my charisma as, well, unpolished. If someone other than those who know me well finds me interresting enough to ask out, it confirms that I'm not Quasimodo.

The second is laziness. Hunting skirts is exhausting. I mean, wouldn't you prefer that people came to you with job offerings and publishing contracts, than having to scan the wanted ads and collect rejection slips?

 

[xssve]

Rape is unknown in any other species as far as I'm aware - the male may make the initial approach, but a Lioness is just as capable of ripping a Lions nuts off as another Lion if she isn't in the mood.

In other words, sex is consensual in every species, the male tries to get the females attention, but the females ultimately choose who they're going to mate with.

Humans are the only ones I'm aware of however, where estrus isn't the engine of reproduction - i.e., nobody knows what women want, not even women.


In fact, I've always preferred the woman to make the first move, then I'm sure I'm not just forcing my attentions on her, and she's aquiesing just to get rid of me. Some guys, of course, don't mind that.

Women could be very sexual aggressive before the sexual revolution, and before they had the economic options they have now - they would commonly try to get pregnent in order to trap a man - I've seen this happen even recently - not all women by any means, but it's a perfectly sound strategy.

In other words, the whole male/active-female/passive mythos is just that: a mythos - individual behavior can vary enourmously.

 

[Guest]

Humans are the only ones I'm aware of however, where estrus isn't the engine of reproduction - i.e., nobody knows what women want, not even women.

.

As a highly verbal, reasonably intelligent female I can say this: if I haven't made what I want clear enough, one is always welcome to ... ask.

Maharat

 

[neonlyte]

It was only a matter of time.

http://www.happenmagazine.com/magazine/article0.aspx?articleid=5847

According to this poll:

Only ten percent of men want to ask a woman out. 75% of men want women to ask them out.

Most men would be flattered and would say yes.



Very interesting. It looks like nothing short of a revolution by men, a desire for a complete overthrow of over a million years of rules of reproduction forced upon just about every species of animal and insect that ever evolved out of the muck.

I don't know of any animal or insect species in which the female is ever the aggressor...

Lets start a TV production company... there's a whole new market to be exploited, I mean, ripped off, I mean culturally catered for.

Actually, most modern 'soap' is about women coming onto men, we need more 'soap' with chaps in boots riding horses and women (with big bosoms) in frilled blouses sheltering from the sunshine under floral umbrellas. Away with these cursed dandies who fawn at the sight of blond hairs glistening on a hotties upper lip forearm. Let men rise from the cesspit of corporate slavery, (in our new TV shows) make cookies and fuck women!

 

[xssve]

As a highly verbal, reasonably intelligent female I can say this: if I haven't made what I want clear enough, one is always welcome to ... ask.

Maharat

Are you asking me out?

 

[The_Fractal_King]

I don't know of any animal or insect species in which the female is ever the aggressor...

Peacocks.
Humans.

Also, the word animals includes insects.

 

[christabelll]

How many women are prepared to do that, though, even in this day and age? I'd like to hear from ANY (straight) women who made the first move with their SO (not including the mr. populars that all the girls faun over and flirt with).

Uh - that would be me LOL
I saw him we tipped cups - smiled - went about my day saw him again - did the same thing- went away then- after that last fortifying mug of mead - walked up to him and stated boldly- I think your lovely- He whispered back you too- Walked away then danced back and asked -"Would you like a kiss?" He agreed and then he walked me to my car - where I broke two ribs falling off a split rail fence in garb no less... (no I didnt drive a designated friend drove)He gave me his card and I promised to call him in four days- which I did- we have been together ever since! And I am the aggressor most days when it comes to hopping into bed with him LOLOLOL....

 

[rachlou]

How many women are prepared to do that, though, even in this day and age? I'd like to hear from ANY (straight) women who made the first move with their SO (not including the mr. populars that all the girls faun over and flirt with).

I made the first move, but I already knew he was interested despite him being in a relationship with somebody else (I can read body language well enough). We were at a party and he had been watching me all evening. I contrived to be alone with him and when I flirtatiously put my arms around him and asked if he had been single, would he have asked me out, he replied, yes. So i kissed him. He didn't resist.

 

[christabelll]

Rape is unknown in any other species as far as I'm aware - the male may make the initial approach, but a Lioness is just as capable of ripping a Lions nuts off as another Lion if she isn't in the mood.

In other words, sex is consensual in every species, the male tries to get the females attention, but the females ultimately choose who they're going to mate with. <snip>

QUOTE]



Um - there you would be wrong
Male Dolphin Pods have been documented cutting a female away from her family pod and gang raping her for weeks. I kid you not! There was a huge study done on either spotted or bottle nose dolphins in the carribean - a few years back - Eventually they would let the female dolphin go back to her maternal pod and start all over with another female dolphin. If I remember correctly - the males would have "wars" with other male pods and then if they won would hunt down their females and would "cull" a preferred female out of it and keep her seperated for weeks (sometimes months). During that time the males in that "gang" would take turns "raping" her. Eventually, either because she was weak from hunger and abuse or they got bored, they would let her return to her maternal pod and go find another gang to fight with and start all over again.

I was absolutely stunned by it! I beleive it was a Animal Planet or Discovery Channel Documentary on Dolphins in the Carribean.

 

[TxRad]

I don't know of any animal or insect species in which the female is ever the aggressor...

Go ask a male preying mantas after he has sex. Oh wait, you can't. The female ripped his head off.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Rape is unknown in any other species as far as I'm aware - the male may make the initial approach, but a Lioness is just as capable of ripping a Lions nuts off as another Lion if she isn't in the mood.

In other words, sex is consensual in every species, the male tries to get the females attention, but the females ultimately choose who they're going to mate with. <snip>

QUOTE]



Um - there you would be wrong
Male Dolphin Pods have been documented cutting a female away from her family pod and gang raping her for weeks. I kid you not! There was a huge study done on either spotted or bottle nose dolphins in the carribean - a few years back - Eventually they would let the female dolphin go back to her maternal pod and start all over with another female dolphin. If I remember correctly - the males would have "wars" with other male pods and then if they won would hunt down their females and would "cull" a preferred female out of it and keep her seperated for weeks (sometimes months). During that time the males in that "gang" would take turns "raping" her. Eventually, either because she was weak from hunger and abuse or they got bored, they would let her return to her maternal pod and go find another gang to fight with and start all over again.

I was absolutely stunned by it! I beleive it was a Animal Planet or Discovery Channel Documentary on Dolphins in the Carribean.

And wasn't that a shock. Smiling, "gentle" Flippers aren't what bunny huggers want to believe, at all. A breedable female in the rest of the animal world isn't raped because her goal is to breed. Rape is a human concept because our babies take so long to grow up that they need family groups to do it in. That's one reason why women have/get to be choosier than, say, beef cattle.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I have been wanting this as a social norm my entire life. Although I bet I still don't ever get asked out

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I have been wanting this as a social norm my entire life.

HELL yes! Any of the Lit ladies who want to hit on me next March are totally welcome, you bet, yup-yup-yup, uh-huh, yowsa, etc., etc., . . .

 

[Katyusha]

As a highly verbal, reasonably intelligent female I can say this: if I haven't made what I want clear enough, one is always welcome to ... ask.

Maharat

Agreed. I might be classed as one of those aggressive females by some and as a dainty flower by others, because of the way I've always gone after men. But most men figure out pretty quick if I'm interested or not. Those who don't are always welcome to ask me too.