Litiquette

[SweetSam42]

I take criticism terribly, here and in real life. I fully realize that by posting pictures here I'm essentially opening myself up to criticism, but my response to it is still awful.

Recently, someone criticized the quality of my pictures. He really was just trying to be an ass, and his comment was essentially benign, but it completely got to me and took me a day or two to collect myself enough to post a response to it that wouldn't make me sound whiney and/or dramatic. I should have ignored it, but couldn't. Weeks later, it still pisses me off.

Then there are the folks who don't understand why I am not immediately interested in hearing their fantasies about what they'd like to do to me, etc. Because I post erotic pictures and audio, I must want to fulfill their online fantasies and interact on a personal level, and why aren't I profusely thanking them for this wonderful gift of their erotic story even though we've never spoken before? I've had angry responses to declining these advances, and my response back those is swift and thorough. They get the full force of my irritation, an in-depth monologue about presumptions about female sexuality, and what I hope is quite a sting from my sharpe tongue.

 

[vibes]

I love reading other people's profiles. I'm nosey though It's the first thing I do when someone pm's me, then I check their posts and that pretty much determines whether I reply.

Since you have replied to me in the past ... your checking process is cracked

 

[Mindfondler]

I'm quite sensitive to criticism (indeed, I'm often self-critical) but I've developed a thicker skin from many years of experience on Internet forums, where criticism can be cheap (in both senses of the word).

One thing that I try to do if I feel that criticism is in any way justified is quickly to apologise sincerely, or at least to demonstrate that I've taken it on board. It may be a bit humiliating but, if I don't do that, then it weighs on me more heavily. I'd rather be known for making, acknowledging and learning from mistakes than for showing spurious "strength" by brazenly insisting that I'm always right.
.

 

[BreezySnow]

If I know you then you would know how to offer constructive criticism in a manner that you know I would not be offended. If you are not a friend then I probably don't care.

 

[SmileyGirl]

Since you have replied to me in the past ... your checking process is cracked

Yes but you're not a cockwomble
And you can hold a decent conversation

Hmmm as for criticism if it's personal from someone I like/respect then I will immediately be upset, in some cases passive agressive depending whether I agree or not. I value the friendships I have made here and I would hope I would avoid criticism. I will analyse and analyse and analyse again. Yeh I'm really good at that aha!

If it's some random that criticises me for not wanting to cyberfuck him or act grateful that he wants to get down and dirty then I really will tell it like it is and he will be left knowing what it feels like to be shredded. And if they had bothered to read my profile to begin with they could have avoided the shredding very easily

 

[Aquagal]

Yay, I've earned one point

Criticism I can handle, when that comes it is either something that allows me to take the time to reflect upon it, realize that it's true and I can better myself; or, it's just someone's opinion about something that really doesn't matter to me so I can just shrug it off.

The thing that is much more painful to me is to be ignored. If I've taken the time to post in a meaningful way about something that is bothering me or that is putting something out there for a response, then to get no response at all eats at me much worse than any criticism ever does.

Thank you for that clarity, I needed that poke. Sometimes I'm insensitive.

 

[BreezySnow]

Criticism I can handle, when that comes it is either something that allows me to take the time to reflect upon it, realize that it's true and I can better myself; or, it's just someone's opinion about something that really doesn't matter to me so I can just shrug it off.

The thing that is much more painful to me is to be ignored. If I've taken the time to post in a meaningful way about something that is bothering me or that is putting something out there for a response, then to get no response at all eats at me much worse than any criticism ever does.

I dont think anyone likes being ignored and I agree also!

 

[ManOSafety]

Thank you for that clarity, I needed that poke. Sometimes I'm insensitive.

I'm happy if that has proven valuable. Let the record show that comment was not poking you...though I would be happy to poke you

 

[Aquagal]

I'm happy if that has proven valuable. Let the record show that comment was not poking you...though I would be happy to poke you

Maybe it wasn't directed, but it is something that I'm aware of already. I think at times if I don't know what to say, I don't say anything at all. Hearing you describe it, was eye opening.

 

[Lord Pmann]

From time to time I get called out on something. Maybe it's something as benign as my vague profile or at most extreme I was called "limp-dick". I'll admit that upon hearing that last one I tried to keep my dick constantly hard but sadly that wasn't something I could do. the topic is, how responsive are people to criticism on lit. I know most will say they don't heed it or "Fuck'em, I am who I am" but deep down inside don't we all at least lol at what we're being criticized for and determine if we think it's valid. I think most of us say to ourselves "am I really.......?" But maybe not.

I have a pretty polarizing personality. You either love me or adore me. That's just how I am. But there are a few fuckwits out there who don't understand me. If I am in a debate about something here on the boards and I get called out, 99/100 times it's because the person is a baby or doesn't realize that I'm joking about the things I say.

Every once in a while someone who has an opinion I respect or care about will say something to me and let me know I'm being a dick or whatever. If they say it, I take it into consideration. Sometimes emotions or specific issues get the best of me and I might be a turd. So it really depends who and how.

I've been called much worse than limp-dick on here. MUCH worse.

 

[ManOSafety]

Maybe it wasn't directed, but it is something that I'm aware of already. I think at times if I don't know what to say, I don't say anything at all. Hearing you describe it, was eye opening.

Understood...I just wanted to make sure that I was also

It's not a Lit thing, but IRL my in-laws refuse to respond to people's illnesses. If a friend is sick, they will not ask them how they are doing or reach out to them at all, stating "it's none of our business." I want to shake them and say, if they are your friends, then it is your business, let them know you care!

 

[Aquagal]

I think I'm too literal. Here I was picturing Chainedup camming and someone called him limp dick, like he really did have a limp dick. Even that would be hurtful. I've never considered 'limp dick' as an assaulting nickname to throw at someone.

To be thrown verbal assaults at, I must consider the source. Is it constructive criticism or are they saying it in the heat of the moment. And who is saying it is the most important. If it's coming from a stranger, but put sincerely, of course I still take notice.

 

[makinmepurr]

I am pretty sensitive, and hate thinking I did anything to offend anyone. Sometimes my jokes and sarcasm get misread. My skin is definitely thicker now since being here a while, but comments can still get to me, even if they' re from a dipstick.

 

[Miasorrow]

I do not take criticism well especially when I think it's unfair and when I know I am right. But When see I am wrong I honestly admit it and accept the critisism.
I am usually right and that saves us time.
Just kidding!

 

[ManOSafety]

I do not take criticism well especially when I think it's unfair and when I know I am right. But When see I am wrong I honestly admit it and accept the critisism.
I am usually right and that saves us time.
Just kidding!

This is a perfect response...she even told us she's right

 

[AbsintheFather]

Here in the PG if I'm criticized, I've usually earned it (to some degree).

In the GB they attack for sport - I laugh it off over there.

 

[Violetvixen1]

I generally take criticism fairly well. I may not see the need to change who I am or how I behave, but I truly enjoy hearing what others think of who I am be it good or bad. It gives me the chance to learn and grow as a person. How I'm perceived has always interested me. I know who I am, and I've worked hard to get here, but sometimes it's surprising to know how other people view me. That goes for both lit and RL.

 

[Mr_Jon_Thon]

I do enjoy those “struck a nerve” moments where you get slammed by someone you weren’t even aiming at. I think, and I’m projecting a bit, we’re most sensitive about our hidden insecurities. When they get rubbed, we lash out. It can be a bit jarring when someone you were friendly with turns on you, but if you stop and reevaluate things, you can generally figure out where things went off the rails and which one of you was driving.

I’ve gotten a few “get lost,” “get off our board,” and “fuck you. Who asked you?” I’m not invested enough around here to really care what those who think they own the boards have to say. Since I’m not actually a twat waffle, I don’t get hurt by the words. Though, it comes in handy being an insensitive bastard.

And criticism is either accurate or it isn’t. If you’re self-aware and not in complete denial of who and what you are, it shouldn’t bother you too much. Taking your self-esteem from anonymous strangers isn’t a recipe for long term mental health. It’s the internet, if you hang around long enough you just might run into someone who gets their kicks from watching people self-destruct.

 

[Aquagal]

I have a pretty polarizing personality. You either love me or adore me. That's just how I am. But there are a few fuckwits out there who don't understand me. If I am in a debate about something here on the boards and I get called out, 99/100 times it's because the person is a baby or doesn't realize that I'm joking about the things I say.

Every once in a while someone who has an opinion I respect or care about will say something to me and let me know I'm being a dick or whatever. If they say it, I take it into consideration. Sometimes emotions or specific issues get the best of me and I might be a turd. So it really depends who and how.

I've been called much worse than limp-dick on here. MUCH worse.

I haven't been called limp dick before.

 

[Miasorrow]

This is a perfect response...she even told us she's right

Are you criticizing me ???

 

[Aquagal]

I think I'm too literal. Here I was picturing Chainedup camming and someone called him limp dick, like he really did have a limp dick. Even that would be hurtful. I've never considered 'limp dick' as an assaulting nickname to throw at someone.

To be thrown verbal assaults at, I must consider the source. Is it constructive criticism or are they saying it in the heat of the moment. And who is saying it is the most important. If it's coming from a stranger, but put sincerely, of course I still take notice.

Oh! I just wanted to point out to the dickwad that searches my posts going back in years about camming...LOOK! I said CAMMING!!!

 

[Paul_Chance]

From time to time I get called out on something. Maybe it's something as benign as my vague profile or at most extreme I was called "limp-dick". I'll admit that upon hearing that last one I tried to keep my dick constantly hard but sadly that wasn't something I could do. the topic is, how responsive are people to criticism on lit. I know most will say they don't heed it or "Fuck'em, I am who I am" but deep down inside don't we all at least lol at what we're being criticized for and determine if we think it's valid. I think most of us say to ourselves "am I really.......?" But maybe not.

I usually consider criticism. I consider the source. I consider the content. Sometimes a person is right and I can learn from it. Generally, if someone calls me a limp dick, LOL, that isn't criticism. That is just someone being an ass. Try not to be an ass.

 

[ManOSafety]

Are you criticizing me ???

That's much funnier when read in the voice of The Great Cornholio!

 

[Aquagal]

.....

 

[JennyNo1]

.....

I think this sums it up quite nicely.^^^