Litiquette

[SweetSam42]

A zero response topic. That's a first, apparently I need to step my game up.

Okay then, we all have sex while fantasizing about someone else, at least those of us in a relationship for number of years. Many have included lit friends into that fantasy. Is it wrong to have sex with your partner because your lit friend has you so wound up you needed physical satisfaction? Your sole reason for having sexy is because you want to fuck your lit friend?

Nah.

I mean, that's why some of us are here, right? To make our sometimes less-than-thrilling real life sex lives better? Everyone fantasizes about someone else from time to time. No harm done, I say.

There are probably a few exceptions to that reasoning tho - one being that if it starts to take over your sex life, then maybe take a step back from your lit friend.

 

[dutchrain]

Nah.

I mean, that's why some of us are here, right? To make our sometimes less-than-thrilling real life sex lives better? Everyone fantasizes about someone else from time to time. No harm done, I say.

There are probably a few exceptions to that reasoning tho - one being that if it starts to take over your sex life, then maybe take a step back from your lit friend.

I couldn't have worded it better.
A Lit-friend or a celebrity, what is the difference?
Except we have a connection with a Lit-friend we most probably would never have with a celebrity.

 

[dutchrain]

Good evening all, I hope Saturday has been great.

Just a quick survey, most to help anyone that's relatively new enjoy themselves and avoid the potential downfalls of Lit. What threads do you all enjoy most, and why? Which of the active threads do you enjoy least, and why.

Chained, you posted this in the middle of my night! How do you expect me to answer in my sleep? I do utter a word once in a while when I am asleep, but I don't sleep-read and sleep-post.

A few of my favorites:
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=837680
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=962990
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=916582
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=956486
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=806437

Threads I don't enjoy ... are threads in which someone is solely looking for wank-fodder. Of course that is how I interpret some threads.

Edits to say Litiquette is on the "subscribes" list too ...

 

[SweetSam42]

Good evening all, I hope Saturday has been great.

Just a quick survey, most to help anyone that's relatively new enjoy themselves and avoid the potential downfalls of Lit. What threads do you all enjoy most, and why? Which of the active threads do you enjoy least, and why.

Here are a few of mine (in addition to Litiquette, of course )

What are your confessions
Anonymous Secrets (not updated in a month or two - need some secrets, people!)
What would you do if you were 22

 

[Lustful_Intentions]

Nah.

I mean, that's why some of us are here, right? To make our sometimes less-than-thrilling real life sex lives better? Everyone fantasizes about someone else from time to time. No harm done, I say.

There are probably a few exceptions to that reasoning tho - one being that if it starts to take over your sex life, then maybe take a step back from your lit friend.

Bingo. Boundaries are an important thing. A spontaneous encounter can happen here, but if it becomes ongoing, that conversation needs to happen early.

(GM Sam )

 

[Thandi]

Nah.

I mean, that's why some of us are here, right? To make our sometimes less-than-thrilling real life sex lives better? Everyone fantasizes about someone else from time to time. No harm done, I say.

There are probably a few exceptions to that reasoning tho - one being that if it starts to take over your sex life, then maybe take a step back from your lit friend.

Very well put Sam!

If it's all consuming, and you're not focusing on your partner anymore, then it becomes an issue.

 

[Paul_Chance]

A zero response topic. That's a first, apparently I need to step my game up.

Okay then, we all have sex while fantasizing about someone else, at least those of us in a relationship for number of years. Many have included lit friends into that fantasy. Is it wrong to have sex with your partner because your lit friend has you so wound up you needed physical satisfaction? Your sole reason for having sexy is because you want to fuck your lit friend?

I am going to give you a first impression based on the last sentence above - if your sole reason for having sex with your IRL partner is because your Lit partner has you so turned on you need a sexual release... <do these pants make my ass look judgmental?>...that is some pretty low shit. What about your partners feelings? What about sex through deception? What about using another human being without regard to their emotions?

Now, I will nuance the line here several times - if you carry into the encounter the arousal from your Lit partner...yet still love your partner and care for them as a human being, but are deceptive about the source of the arousal - well it is better to love and be loved, but love is a complicated dance, and arousal is a complicated dance. You may want to do a karmic check there, but it is not as bad as the first scenario. The relationship may well contain other karmic acts that, in the balance, render this small deception meaningless.

Here is another line - if you are in one sexual relation (IRL) and another (Lit) and the there is cross arousal, but no deception of the self or the partner, then that is another bit of karma.

And yet another - if there is no explicit or implicit expectation of exclusivity, then that is another layer.

Finally, if you are in an acknowledged open relationship - it could actually be good karma - no deception, no betrayals, just arousal and pleasure.

I do think, from years on line, and from having been down the road myself - the most dangerous part of an online relationship is when it begin to contribute negatively to the IRL relationship - when it starts to cause the loss of emotional intimacy, the loss of an intellectual connection, and/or the loss of physical intimacy.

Don't make the mistake of thinking I am some sort of saint, even though my judgmental pants give me the ass of a young Adonis, at the end of the day we are all human and beautifully flawed and many of us due whatever it takes to get us through the day. Life itself often puts us in a place where are choices are not good - but we still make a choice and keep moving. Contemplate the choices you make and be conscious of the human tendency to slide slowly into a corruption of the spirit where you realize what you are doing is acquiring negative karma but cannot or will not stop.

Gee, I guess I had some thoughts around that question.

 

[may_I_please]

I need to stop reading your posts Paul, you have an unnerving ability to make me think.

Although if I do I would miss some of the most amusing lines ever written: "Even though my judgmental pants give me the ass of young Adonis"

 

[Thandi]

I need to stop reading your posts Paul, you have an unnerving ability to make me think.

Although if I do I would miss some of the most amusing lines ever written: "Even though my judgmental pants give me the ass of young Adonis"

I totally agree, that made me almost spit out my soup!

 

[Paul_Chance]

Why, thank you on both counts May I.

That one was definitely a thought provoking question for me. I have resolved it, for my own karma, but being honest about it (my online activities) with my partners. I have often been amused by the range of actions, which went from - they didn't even care, to bemusement, to curiosity, to "read that one to me again, it's hot".

I often wonder (without knowing the inner nuances of anyone else's relationships) how often those involved in secret Lit relationships are hiding from the demons of their own creation, where an open conversation about it with their IRL partner might move them into a better karmic position.

In my experience - actions that damage a relationship can be forgiven and healed if we are open about them, acknowledge them and change our behavior or come to an accommodation regarding them. But, as long as they remain secrets, they continually do damage to the relationship - and when revealed can rip it apart.

Secrets are landmines waiting to destroy a relationship.

Without those pants though, my ass looks like an ordinary middle aged mans. More Pan than Adonis.

 

[Lustful_Intentions]

Contemplate the choices you make and be conscious of the human tendency to slide slowly into a corruption of the spirit where you realize what you are doing is acquiring negative karma but cannot or will not stop.

Paul, I can say that we've never crossed paths (as far as I know), but this is some sage advice. I have a situation myself where I have to feel myself constantly trying to manage that slide. That alone can be very consuming for a person, and bring all kinds of trouble to a relationship.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Thandi - LOL - when soup spitting on Lit, try not to hit the computer! I have been there more then once!

 

[Thandi]

Thandi - LOL - when soup spitting on Lit, try not to hit the computer! I have been there more then once!

 

[NotHisLady]

A zero response topic. That's a first, apparently I need to step my game up.

Okay then, we all have sex while fantasizing about someone else, at least those of us in a relationship for number of years. Many have included lit friends into that fantasy. Is it wrong to have sex with your partner because your lit friend has you so wound up you needed physical satisfaction? Your sole reason for having sexy is because you want to fuck your lit friend?

Did you forget that some of us are here because our long time partner has stopped having any interest in sex?

 

[stickygirl]

Hmm... interesting posts. Would I be putting a cat amongst pidgeons ( and doves ) to ask if women fantasise more than men in bed? Maybe that's a question that shouldn't be asked
I don't know that many people in long-term relationships to add much to what's already been said.
It was like summer today in the UK - I think I caught the sun

ETA I think there can be nothing worse than being in a loveless relationship or worse still, one of simmering resentment - sticking together 'for the kids' is BS. Better to make a clean break and a chance of a fresh start....but then the lawyers get stuck in and resentment becomes hate
Like I know shit but hey *shrugs*

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

If I Were at a computer, I'd reply more in depth to Paul.

Suffice it to say. . I agree. It depends so much on your current relationship, whether you are honest about it, etc. So very many factors and facets change the way the game is played.

For me, I found a support system here which ultimately gave me the strength to make decisions I thought I'd never be able to make. Had I not been able to voice them, I'd have continued in a miserable (and dangerous) situation.

I look back and see how life (and Lit) has changed me, and not all of it has been "good"... But not all has been bad, either.

 

[ChainedUp]

Strolls in for an afternoon read, lots of good stuff, thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.

So we have a bead on using Lit as a sexual stimulant

But what about arousal? Does it follow the same path as sex? I think it seems that that lit based arousal can be pretty intense. Is it unfair to your Lit partner to be aroused through them but not finish with them? I suppose it's where both parties choose to draw the line.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Strolls in for an afternoon read, lots of good stuff, thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.

So we have a bead on using Lit as a sexual stimulant

But what about arousal? Does it follow the same path as sex? I think it seems that that lit based arousal can be pretty intense. Is it unfair to your Lit partner to be aroused through them but not finish with them? I suppose it's where both parties choose to draw the line.

I would think this one would depend entirely on the nature of the relationship with the partner on Lit. (To me, "partner" implies an explicit relationship, but that is just my interpretation.) I personally kind of like the idea that my words might lead one of fellow Lit readers to a higher state of arousal that would result in their having a good (or better) sexual encounter with their partner or with themselves. But, that said, I do not have a Lit partner with whom I have any sort of explicitly monogamous relationship - and a relationship of that nature would change the calculation.

 

[stickygirl]

Strolls in for an afternoon read, lots of good stuff, thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.

So we have a bead on using Lit as a sexual stimulant

But what about arousal? Does it follow the same path as sex? I think it seems that that lit based arousal can be pretty intense. Is it unfair to your Lit partner to be aroused through them but not finish with them? I suppose it's where both parties choose to draw the line.

I think that assumption is a bit mechanical and I can't see any dots to join. Sure, people will have cyber sex ( ie inspired masturbation ) but can that really hold a candle ( no pun intended ) to the real thing? I can see some of the friendships here become pretty intense and very occasionally, lead to a hook up, but it's all wank & fantasy for the most part.
Maybe it's just me, but Lit rarely makes me horny, though it's plenty other things. I can think of two occasions in two years when I've had cyber sex that really engaged me emotionally. The other times have been either hysterically funny or really rather icky and made me feel dirty in a bad way *shudders*

 

[rubydlite]

Good evening all, I hope Saturday has been great.

Just a quick survey, most to help anyone that's relatively new enjoy themselves and avoid the potential downfalls of Lit. What threads do you all enjoy most, and why? Which of the active threads do you enjoy least, and why.

----> I used to enjoy the would you/have you/what would you threads...they're great ice breakers when you are new. Now though, I tend to enjoy the threads where I feel I get to know people and how they tick.

Okay then, we all have sex while fantasizing about someone else, at least those of us in a relationship for number of years. Many have included lit friends into that fantasy. Is it wrong to have sex with your partner because your lit friend has you so wound up you needed physical satisfaction? Your sole reason for having sexy is because you want to fuck your lit friend?

-----> I'm not so sure how to answer this....partly because I'm not sure I want to dig that deep down , or, more honestly see what I discover when I do. If I have sex with my rl partner (yes...I said if) it is most definitely because of a lit friend...I don't feel guilty because my rl situation predated lit. I'm not saying it's right or wrong...it just is.
Uggg...I don't like to delve in this part of my brain....

 

[ChainedUp]

Squeaking out the few last hours of the weekend, I paused to wonder "Why". Why do we all do this? Why have we all chosen Lit as our place to gather? As newbies, we most likely read the stories. Then we stumbled here. The interactions intoxicating. But why? What is it about this place that has a hold on us?

 

[Thandi]

Squeaking out the few last hours of the weekend, I paused to wonder "Why". Why do we all do this? Why have we all chosen Lit as our place to gather? As newbies, we most likely read the stories. Then we stumbled here. The interactions intoxicating. But why? What is it about this place that has a hold on us?

I've made good friends here.....plus there's all those awesome pics & gifs.

 

[shmily]

when I first came here in 01 - yes it was because the guy I was with lurked here, he had read some of my stories and introduced me to that side. it took me awhile to get on the boards, mainly when seeking an editor. but then started with the game threads - (they are safe). but as I got to know a few people started playing in other threads. went away for awhile. came back. went away. came back.. mainly just the type of forum and interaction. different from FB and haven't really looked for other sites. I enjoy good discussions and jump in if the mood strikes. I still love a good read and trip over there still.

 

[Paul_Chance]

I came here primarily for the stories and that is still my main interest. After I had been reading for a while, I wandered around and came to the forums. Like other forums I participate in I am drawn here for three main reasons:

1. I enjoy reading what other people are thinking and having conversations.
2. I have met some nice people who are fun to interact with.
3. The threads and pics are a constant source of erotic inspiration.

That pretty much sums it up.

 

[LusterMunky]

What is it about this place that has a hold on us?

I'm just here to harass Thandi.