Litiquette

[Aquagal]

Well, that's a vote for leg humping if I ever saw one

I'm only stretching my leg, didn't you see my post this morning?

 

[Thandi]

.....

That's a lovely leg!

 

[Thandi]

Evening topic: do we bore with lit lovers easier than RL lovers? If so why? For me the boredom can happen if there's no connection. What say you?

Yes. It's easier to move on, because there is no facetime.
You are not held as accountable I think, and everyone here knows there's someone new waiting around the corner.
It's not how I see it, but after a year, I've figured it out.
It sucks, but it's Lit....need to get a backbone sometimes.

 

[NotHisLady]

Yes. It's easier to move on, because there is no facetime.
You are not held as accountable I think, and everyone here knows there's someone new waiting around the corner.
It's not how I see it, but after a year, I've figured it out.
It sucks, but it's Lit....need to get a backbone sometimes.

virtual world=virtual lovers/virtual love
that kind of, well sucks

Maybe I'm not clear on what "lit lovers" means?
The only intense relationships I've had here have had more interaction than JUST here and existed in what I consider my real life.

 

[ChainedUp]

virtual world=virtual lovers/virtual love
that kind of, well sucks

Maybe I'm not clear on what "lit lovers" means?
The only intense relationships I've had here have had more interaction than JUST here and existed in what I consider my real life.

I was thinking lit lovers = playmates

 

[KalIsBack]

Evening topic: do we bore with lit lovers easier than RL lovers? If so why? For me the boredom can happen if there's no connection. What say you?

I think it depends on the attitude we bring to it.

 

[Mindfondler]

Evening topic: do we bore with lit lovers easier than RL lovers? If so why? For me the boredom can happen if there's no connection. What say you?

I have several Lit friends that I'm very fond of, and with whom I communicate regularly outside the Lit forums. I don't have any Lit lovers, though, so the following is just my hypothesis based on my experience of online interactions.

I think there can be a syndrome along the lines of the excitement of a small child in a sweet shop (candy store) -- the immediacy and diversity of opportunities is overwhelming. It's usually not necessary to make the same level of initial investment in getting to know someone online compared to in real life, and quick rewards early on make it tempting to ditch the arrangement once it hits the "boring bits" that are part of the ups and downs of a real-life relationship.

I'd suggest that the ability to liven up those "boring bits" is one factor that makes for a successful long-term relationship, but this depends critically on the "connection" to which ChainedUp refers and the commonality of longer-term values and goals. I don't think these latter points are necessarily aligned during the early stages of an online relationship, which may even be a case of "any port in a storm".

Having said all that, I don't see anything intrinsically inferior about an online relationship compared to a real-life one (indeed, the first may evolve into the second, as NotHisLady indicates). As with all relationships, what counts is how much effort both of those involved are prepared to put into it.

Please feel free to debunk the above. As I said, it's just my hypothesis, and I'm not wedded to it irrevocably.
.

 

[ChainedUp]

An early morning topic: how far are you willing to go to please your partner? Sometimes your partner isn't an exact match with wants and needs and for them to enjoy the pleasure they want you have to engage in an activity that isn't your "cup of tea". How deep into your uncomfortable zone will you go?

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

An early morning topic: how far are you willing to go to please your partner? Sometimes your partner isn't an exact match with wants and needs and for them to enjoy the pleasure they want you have to engage in an activity that isn't your "cup of tea". How deep into your uncomfortable zone will you go?

I draw the line at oyster stew. Just can't make it despite how great the recipe is.

 

[wombat9966]

Never had to go out of my comfort zone yet so I don't know. I think I would be willing to give most things a try on the proviso of a 'Safe word' being in place for all activities.

 

[Violette_Elan]

I have tried the Daddy role play scene, there were lots of going on in my head. It was what they liked, and I made the best attempt I could but it wasn't for me.

 

[Ellafun]

An early morning topic: how far are you willing to go to please your partner? Sometimes your partner isn't an exact match with wants and needs and for them to enjoy the pleasure they want you have to engage in an activity that isn't your "cup of tea". How deep into your uncomfortable zone will you go?

I'll try anything once. I just wish that he would do the same for me.

 

[Mindfondler]

An early morning topic: how far are you willing to go to please your partner? Sometimes your partner isn't an exact match with wants and needs and for them to enjoy the pleasure they want you have to engage in an activity that isn't your "cup of tea". How deep into your uncomfortable zone will you go?

I'd do anything! If my wife told me that she found an idea sexually exciting, then my arousal would override any inhibitions that I might have. I guess I must have some limits, but I haven't had to invoke them yet. Unfortunately, I don't encounter this scenario often, so I don't get the chance to test them out.
.

 

[Lustful_Intentions]

I'll try anything once. I just wish that he would do the same for me.

I'm generally in the same boat-just replace 'him' with 'her'

 

[stickygirl]

I draw the line at oyster stew. Just can't make it despite how great the recipe is.

I don't even want to begin to know what that means!

Sometimes going beyond your comfort zones can be enlightening but I don't think I could do anything degrading or else the memory would just haunt me.

 

[Thandi]

An early morning topic: how far are you willing to go to please your partner? Sometimes your partner isn't an exact match with wants and needs and for them to enjoy the pleasure they want you have to engage in an activity that isn't your "cup of tea". How deep into your uncomfortable zone will you go?

If it makes him excited I will try it out. He would never put me in any danger or degrading position...so I don't worry about that.
Who knows what new kink I may discover I like.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

I don't even want to begin to know what that means!

Sometimes going beyond your comfort zones can be enlightening but I don't think I could do anything degrading or else the memory would just haunt me.

lol..Sticky...essentially I'll do anything to please my lover provided it's done in a safe and loving environment.

I absolutely hate oysters, though. The joke comes from a long time ago. When I was young and freshly married, my then husband loved my grandmother's oyster stew. I commented how much I couldn't stand oysters.. The site. . The smell. The texture. ..

His grandmother looked at me and said, "If you loved my grandson, you'd make it anyway."

I looked right back at her and said. ."If he loves me, he won't ask me to make it."

 

[Edensgarden]

An early morning topic: how far are you willing to go to please your partner? Sometimes your partner isn't an exact match with wants and needs and for them to enjoy the pleasure they want you have to engage in an activity that isn't your "cup of tea". How deep into your uncomfortable zone will you go?

I'm pretty adventurous and will try anything. I am willing to do about anything that will please him sexually. I almost get more pleasure out of giving than receiving.

Unfortunately, as others have stated, he's not quite so willing to return the favor.

 

[rubydlite]

An early morning topic: how far are you willing to go to please your partner? Sometimes your partner isn't an exact match with wants and needs and for them to enjoy the pleasure they want you have to engage in an activity that isn't your "cup of tea". How deep into your uncomfortable zone will you go?

I will go pretty far within reason. For me the pleasure comes from seeing him happy. However, if I'm always making things 'happy' and the favour isn't returned I'll soon stop trying at all *sigh...that's my home story*
In general, as long as I have trust and communication with my partner, there's not too much off the table! I think comfort zones turn into uncomfortable zones when communication breaks down.

 

[KalIsBack]

It's usually not necessary to make the same level of initial investment in getting to know someone online compared to in real life, and quick rewards early on make it tempting to ditch the arrangement once it hits the "boring bits" that are part of the ups and downs of a real-life relationship.

This. The fact that we have so many possibilities right at our fingertips without any real emotional commitment has its pros and cons. It allows us to just explore, forming casual relationships that help us to broaden our horizons, but at the same time, we run a greater risk if ever and whenever we decide to delve deeper.

I would make an observation here, that it's difficult to have any meaningful relationship without those 'boring bits.' If you're having sex every time you see each other, in 'real life' or in cyber-land, then you're not going to progress very far as a couple. It's the 'boring bits' that make the relationship, livened up or not. They're necessary for a happy couple to stay happy.

I'd suggest that the ability to liven up those "boring bits" is one factor that makes for a successful long-term relationship, but this depends critically on the "connection" to which ChainedUp refers and the commonality of longer-term values and goals.

This. The key term here being 'successful long-term relationship.' You can't have a successful relationship without some of those. And most Lit relationships tend to attempt to sidestep those boring bits, or devolve whenever those boring bits come around. But I suppose it wouldn't matter to you unless you're looking for substance, not simply interested in a quick stroke. It would be easy enough to let the 'relationship' crumble if that's all you wanted.

As with all relationships, what counts is how much effort both of those involved are prepared to put into it.

Please feel free to debunk the above. As I said, it's just my hypothesis, and I'm not wedded to it irrevocably.

That first line. That's really all that matters. What do you want, and what are you willing to do to get it?

No debunking here. Very well written. Thank you.

As for that white period... might have to debunk that.

An early morning topic: how far are you willing to go to please your partner? Sometimes your partner isn't an exact match with wants and needs and for them to enjoy the pleasure they want you have to engage in an activity that isn't your "cup of tea". How deep into your uncomfortable zone will you go?

If it makes him excited I will try it out. He would never put me in any danger or degrading position...so I don't worry about that.
Who knows what new kink I may discover I like.

Thandi put it closest. I'm particularly interested to plumb the depths of her sexual mindedness, pleasing her in a special way that she enjoys or craves. There are a couple things I won't do, but she's never pushed in that direction. If she did, I suppose we'd have a talk about it, but there's very little that I won't at least attempt to do to please her.

And who knows? She might uncover something that I enjoy immensely.

 

[NotHisLady]

If it makes him excited I will try it out. He would never put me in any danger or degrading position...so I don't worry about that.
Who knows what new kink I may discover I like.

I agree, this does come the closest to right.

If there is trust and reciprocity then pretty much anything goes. No one is going to push to the point where the other is truly unhappy. There is excitement exploring together.
This goes in and out of the bedroom. What interests and fascinates one the other should give a fair chance--you never know what new interest you might find.

Like so many others I wish my life lived up to that ideal.

 

[mickyp123]

Evening topic: do we bore with lit lovers easier than RL lovers? If so why? For me the boredom can happen if there's no connection. What say you?

I think if you can talk about sex, life, life's crap, and life's good stuff in one pm then that Lit relationship will more likely go on, like with real life if all you have in common is sex then your pretty much fucked for longevity.

 

[ChainedUp]

Strolls in. I've been told I'm a confident guy, sometimes maybe a little too confident. (I refute that point ). Confidence is sexy but arrogance is not. Where do you draw that line? When does confidence become a turnoff.

 

[stickygirl]

Strolls in. I've been told I'm a confident guy, sometimes maybe a little too confident. (I refute that point ). Confidence is sexy but arrogance is not. Where do you draw that line? When does confidence become a turnoff.

When it's inconsiderate.
I'd like my doctor to exude confidence but I dare say we've all met the other sort, who patronise and give little consideration for their patients feelings or indeed the junior staff. Yup, arrogance - quite the turn off.

 

[Thandi]

Strolls in. I've been told I'm a confident guy, sometimes maybe a little too confident. (I refute that point ). Confidence is sexy but arrogance is not. Where do you draw that line? When does confidence become a turnoff.

Confidence should not be hurtful. When properly used, it is very sexy.
When the line is crossed over to way too cocky for your own good..then the line is crossed.