Litiquette

[stickygirl]

I'm more thank capable of putting both my feet in my mouth at once ( no sexual suggestions please ) and while friends become familiar with my zany humour, one should never rule out a complete faceplant.
Kalisback is right - emoticons have their place but spoil a deadpan joke by being too goofey.
You can be jokey with sexual innuendos on a thread when there are plenty people posting, but when it's just down to you and one other then it changes things. I have sent a PM from a busy thread flirt with a 'were you serious?' That stll leaves me room to escape without playing my hand, though that's only happened a couple of memorable times.
On the flipside, people have taken my flirting seriously, sent a PM and then you can just give a pleasant reply to decline going further with no bruised egos.

 

[Mindfondler]

I'm a bit late on this one...

Hello late night Litiquette-izans. I think one of the biggest challenges in lit is being able to tell when you are being flirted with and when a post is made just for "the fun of it". If you were talking a newbie to Lit, how would you explain the differences.

For me the analogy to real life doesn't work. Real life flirting involves body language that can't be replicated at Lit.

So tell us, how can we tell when you are flirting?

I'm still shy about flirting openly (both online and in real life), so I tend to be sneaky and do it with ambiguous comments, which allow me the fallback position of claiming that I only meant them in a non-flirty sense. (Darn it... I'm giving away my secrets here!)

Luckily, my wife and I have an agreement that we both enjoy flirting for fun and that we're happy for each other to do it, as long as nobody else gets misled or hurt. Indeed, we found to our mutual surprise that we each get a thrill from watching the other flirt with someone else, and then comparing notes afterwards. It's not what either of us (with "traditional" upbringings) would have expected!

Anyway, I digress! The short answer is that I do it with double meanings and, as KalIsBack mentioned, some assistance from the winky emoticon.

How good are your Lit insticts. When you see people posting how good is your abilities to tell the differences between the asshats, the nice ones, the teases, the really naughty.....etc have you ever misread someone, good or bad?

I think my instincts are quite good. I've been using online forums since the days of bulletin boards (remember those?!) and I'm quite astute at picking up hidden signals behind certain styles of writing, or particular choices of words.

I'm aware, though, that there's a possibility of mis-reading these signals, and so I try not to condemn anyone on the basis of those impressions alone. For me, much more reliable indicators are how individuals interact with others, how courteous and helpful they are, how well they tolerate those with differing viewpoints, and so on. Those are fairly clear-cut judgements for me rather than instinctive ones, though.

Have I ever got it badly wrong? Yes -- a couple of times, but not so far on this forum (at least, I don't think so!).
.

 

[NotHisLady]

Good morning all!

How good are your Lit insticts. When you see people posting how good is your abilities to tell the differences between the asshats, the nice ones, the teases, the really naughty.....etc have you ever misread someone, good or bad?

I would guess that I've gotten it wrong, I'm terrible at reading signals in life so I can only assume that I am here as well. Now when there is the least amount of doubt I err on the side of "probably not."
I once thought someone was trying to be friendly who turned out to have been being sarcastic. That was fun. So was the time I messaged someone who had no idea who I was.
On at least on occasion I was very right and made a friend I can't imagine living without.

I know that my own signals have been missed. There is actual evidence of this based on a new friend at whom I had been throwing signals for ages (not so much flirty I guess as invitations for private interaction.) He told me that he never once noticed what I thought had been blatantly forward.
Generally if I follow someone's post more than two or three times in a single thread (the chatty ones, not the word games) it means I'm open to going private.
Tone says a lot. If my answers to those posts are sexy-flirty then that's the kind of conversation I'm expecting to have. If I'm being friendly or funny then that's where I'm going.

 

[KalIsBack]

My Lit instincts are 90% right 90% of the time. I'm generally very good with double entendres and innuendos and hidden meanings, and knowing the difference between flirting and desiring. Asshats are obvious, although the people that parade around as 'angel asshats' (that post a good thing or two from time to time, and whenever they post something untoward, they say it was just a joke, stop being so serious) tend to be a little bit more difficult to read. I generally lump them in with the asshats. The teases are usually obvious to me, and I think all the really naughty ones are taken.

That said, I've misread some things, generally only when I'm being very serious with someone. Because then I start thinking and stop feeling, and it can be difficult to think about words on a screen when the other person is feeling whatever goes into them. If I've misread someone on the boards, I'll often send a PM apologising or asking for clarification, and it's a no-harm no-foul situation. If I've misread someone in PM, things get decidedly more awkward. And I can spend the next hour or so puzzling it out. But I'm very good with just playing along, playing flirtatiously on the boards. That's easy, and fun.

But like I said. 90% right, 90% of the time. I've made my mistakes.

 

[may_I_please]

Wow

You all really analyse things don't you? I feel I should be thinking things through on a deeper level now but I generally just use the forum to play and kind of assume that's what everyone else does (naively I'm beginning to think). If things are going to get real I assume they will do so off board, not that all PM relationships have depth, some are just fun too.

 

[Edensgarden]

I'm terrible at flirting.

 

[KalIsBack]

I'm terrible at flirting.

That turned me on.

 

[Edensgarden]

That turned me on.

I'm so bad I'm good....

 

[KalIsBack]

I'm so bad I'm good....

It's good to be bad.

(Bonus points to anyone that can read between whatever lines may or may not be there in my previous post, as a case in point. Decipher the meaning!)

 

[rubydlite]

Hello late night Litiquette-izans. I think one of the biggest challenges in lit is being able to tell when you are being flirted with and when a post is made just for "the fun of it". If you were talking a newbie to Lit, how would you explain the differences.

For me the analogy to real life doesn't work. Real life flirting involves body language that can't be replicated at Lit.

So tell us, how can we tell when you are flirting?

Hmmm....like others...emoticons help...and the dreaded 'lol'. I feel I need to add it though or else I get pm's related to posts. (Not always a bad thing after several thread plays with the same person ...but not always good either).
In the playground I often take the comments for face value....as play...it is a playground afterall.

Good morning all!

How good are your Lit insticts. When you see people posting how good is your abilities to tell the differences between the asshats, the nice ones, the teases, the really naughty.....etc have you ever misread someone, good or bad?

They are mediocre. I assume everyone is what they say. Asshats I can usually pick out....unless, like Kallsback says, they're hidden under a layer of 'just kidding' posts. I'll avoid either poster all the same. Teases and naughty are fairly obvious.
I've definitely misread people in my early days on lit....but mostly it gets me in trouble when I'm really trying to get to know someone through p.m.

 

[Corbal]

Good morning all!

How good are your Lit insticts. When you see people posting how good is your abilities to tell the differences between the asshats, the nice ones, the teases, the really naughty.....etc have you ever misread someone, good or bad?

Years ago, they sucked. I snubbed several liars within the first year and half and got my feelings throat-punched because of it. Then I realized, I might get one genuine cool person outta' a hundred. I watch more than I post and because of that, I "see" a ton more than I ever did when I was a consistent poster. I now can name the dramatic fucks but have never spoken a word to them. I know the whiners, the posers and fuckwads. The few I communicate with have been here for many years and I know them to be very great people; they are few and far between.

 

[KalIsBack]

Years ago, they sucked. I snubbed several liars within the first year and half and got my feelings throat-punched because of it. Then I realized, I might get one genuine cool person outta' a hundred. I watch more than I post and because of that, I "see" a ton more than I ever did when I was a consistent poster. I now can name the dramatic fucks but have never spoken a word to them. I know the whiners, the posers and fuckwads. The few I communicate with have been here for many years and I know them to be very great people; they are few and far between.

Well fuck... How come I never got a throat punch? And the only reason I ever stepped back was to take stock of that ass of yours. Need to know what I'm boosting over fences, you know?

So am I a whiner, a poser, or a fuckwad?

 

[Corbal]

Well fuck... How come I never got a throat punch? And the only reason I ever stepped back was to take stock of that ass of yours. Need to know what I'm boosting over fences, you know?

So am I a whiner, a poser, or a fuckwad?

I don't let pussies punch me.

You, my friend, are the DRAMA. I stay away from you on the boards and the talons that mar the delicate flesh of your back.

 

[KalIsBack]

I don't let pussies punch me.

You, my friend, are the DRAMA. I stay away from you on the boards and the talons that mar the delicate flesh of your back.

But you said you never talked to the dramamakers... and here we are... and there we were, with those steamy PM's. Am I special enough that I rate an exception? Or am I simply irresistible?

Delicate flesh? Pfft. Fucking steel.

 

[Corbal]

But you said you never talked to the dramamakers... and here we are... and there we were, with those steamy PM's. Am I special enough that I rate an exception? Or am I simply irresistible?

Delicate flesh? Pfft. Fucking steel.

Oh, yes, so irresistible. I'm typing and undressing all at the same time.

Meet me in the shower, bitch. I'm snotty, chubby and look like death-warmed over; just how you like it.

Dirty.

Or not.

 

[KalIsBack]

Oh, yes, so irresistible. I'm typing and undressing all at the same time.

Meet me in the shower, bitch. I'm snotty, chubby and look like death-warmed over; just how you like it.

Dirty.

Or not.

Exactly.

There's nothing between you and I but air and opportunity.

Come at me, sugarbuns.

 

[Aquagal]

See I'm far more attracted to Corbal's aggressiveness than the leg humpers.

 

[KalIsBack]

See I'm far more attracted to Corbal's aggressiveness than the leg humpers.

Mm. Agreed.

I wonder how effective it is as an anti-stroker mechanism.

 

[Edensgarden]

See I'm far more attracted to Corbal's aggressiveness than the leg humpers.

I would agree too.

I'd let her have her way with me. I don't think I'd have an option.

 

[Corbal]

Exactly.There's nothing between you and I but air and opportunity.
Come at me, sugarbuns.

Spoken like a true twat.

See I'm far more attracted to Corbal's aggressiveness than the leg humpers.

I need something more precise. Are we talking 10% for leg humpers vs. 60% aggression attraction? Or, are we talking 10% leg humpers to 25% Corbs agression?

Don't get me wrong, I'll take what I can get, but my aggression elevates if I'm in the 35% range.

Mm. Agreed.
I wonder how effective it is as an anti-stroker mechanism.

Have you ever driven a hot-rod with a stroker motor?

Oh, wait, nevermind, you wouldn't know... 'cause it's cool.

 

[AbsintheFather]

See I'm far more attracted to Corbal's aggressiveness than the leg humpers.

This is why the 'bad boy' persona attracts and 'Nice guys finish last'. Women often claim that they want the secure and stable type guy but it's not what attracts them.

Not calling Corbal a guy here Just making an observation.

Signed, the leg humper who didn't get laid as much as his roomate in college.

 

[Aquagal]

Spoken like a true twat.

I need something more precise. Are we talking 10% for leg humpers vs. 60% aggression attraction? Or, are we talking 10% leg humpers to 25% Corbs agression?

Don't get me wrong, I'll take what I can get, but my aggression elevates if I'm in the 35% range.


Have you ever driven a hot-rod with a stroker motor?

Oh, wait, nevermind, you wouldn't know... 'cause it's cool.

You can hump my leg while pulling on my nipple clamps aggression.

This is why the 'bad boy' persona attracts and 'Nice guys finish last'. Women often claim that they want the secure and stable type guy but it's not what attracts them.

Not calling Corbal a guy here Just making an observation.

Signed, the leg humper who didn't get laid as much as his roomate in college.

I think you misunderstood, this doesn't exclude good guys. It just means match me instead of being a patsy to my whims.

 

[Edensgarden]

This is why the 'bad boy' persona attracts and 'Nice guys finish last'. Women often claim that they want the secure and stable type guy but it's not what attracts them.

Not calling Corbal a guy here Just making an observation.

Signed, the leg humper who didn't get laid as much as his roomate in college.

In defense of leg humping, it is something I enjoy....both aggressively and taking it nice and slow.

 

[AbsintheFather]

I think you misunderstood, this doesn't exclude good guys. It just means match me instead of being a patsy to my whims.

Just making an observation about initial attraction . . . .

In defense of leg humping, it is something I enjoy....both aggressively and taking it nice and slow.

As the humper or the humpee

 

[stickygirl]

Loving the leg-humper phrase - diamond
There's a world of difference between leg-humpers and nice guys. I'm open to nice guys
did I just say that?

In defense of leg humping, it is something I enjoy....both aggressively and taking it nice and slow.

Ooo no don't say that: I'm picturing dog humping your leg desperation Surely no one needs that? Especially you Eden