Litiquette VII

[SMNaughtywife]

as you are so keen on hotel schematics, maybe you could hustle up some coffee? you know, we’re the room right between 905 and 909.

Pancakes too please.
Eggs Benedict
Fresh fruit
Crepes
Bacon. Yes, don’t forget the bacon.

Hangs my lingerie, or what left of it on the doorknob. I think room service will figure it out.

 

[tnman03]

Pancakes too please.
Eggs Benedict
Fresh fruit
Crepes
Bacon. Yes, don’t forget the bacon.

Hangs my lingerie, or what left of it on the doorknob. I think room service will figure it out.

So... I take it that you need emergency clothing delivery as well???

 

[Trekka]

Happy Friday, you filthy animals!

Alrighty then, continuing with the theme....

Hotel sex.

So Alice Cooper has been married to the same woman for more than forty years. I once read an interview he did. I only remember one sound bite. Upon being asked, "What's your secret?" Mr. Cooper revealed that he and his wife like to have fun, they try to be silly, keep it fresh, and from time to time they'll grab a room at a cheesy motel somewhere off the interstate and bang it out.

So, hotel sex: is it one of your things? Luxury or campy motor inn? Drapes open or closed? Do you let the neighbors hear? With a long time partner or a one-night stand? What's the best hotel sex you've ever had?

What is it about hotels that turns us into whores?!

And, for the record, room service in one of my kinks.

 

[parker77]

Pancakes too please.
Eggs Benedict
Fresh fruit
Crepes
Bacon. Yes, don’t forget the bacon.

Hangs my lingerie, or what left of it on the doorknob. I think room service will figure it out.

don’t forget the biscuits.

 

[hotwords229_A]

My hotel sex story requires way too much background to make any sense, so I'll just hit the fun parts--
We weren't the only ones with a key to the room. The other two were leaving early and came to get their stuff, our current state of enraptured nudity didn't prevent them from collecting their things OR from closing the door as many other of our friends were moving about outside, many of whom snuck a peek and left a comment or two. She and I thought it was funny and didn't stop.

Also, I was later informed that there "may" have been video taken from the open door, but I've never actually seen it.

Ah, college.

I think hotel rooms are like rental cars--potholes don't matter.

Also, it's not just hotel rooms. You know that couple you had spend the night in your guest room? Yeah, you better use bleach when you wash those sheets.

 

[tnman03]

Whatever you do don't lay or sleep on top of the bedspread and take your own pillows to sleep on. If you want to know why then take a black light with you the next time you rent a room.

My hotel stories have involved balcony curtains left open and curtains that weren't fully closed. Each case was simply a matter of entering the room and things going fully hot as the door was being shut behind us.

And yes, there certainly is something about motel-hotel sex being less vanilla.

 

[Mr_bogey]

So... I take it that you need emergency clothing delivery as well???

Lingerie? She don't need stinkin' lingerie.

 

[Mr_bogey]

Happy Friday, you filthy animals!

So, hotel sex: is it one of your things? Luxury or campy motor inn? Drapes open or closed? Do you let the neighbors hear? With a long time partner or a one-night stand? What's the best hotel sex you've ever had?

Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
So, I was meeting someone at a room and as I approached the room I was looking for, I noticed the door was propped open by the metal bar part of the safety lock. I double checked to make sure it was the right room and knocked. I heard "come in" and pushed the door open and found a room with the only light coming in from the window silhouetting a very tartily clad woman who was against the window in a pose that the police would require for a pat down. Being a perv, I stood there a minute to admire the beauty of it and drink in that perfect ass that was glowing before letting go of the door and attacking. About 90 mins later, give or take a few mins, we lay on the bed catching our breath, covered in sweat and other bodily fluids, a noise came from the hallway and we realized the door was still slightly ajar. The noise was that of several voices which we later learned was a college hoops team staying there for a road game. I closed the door and for the next 4 or 5 hours, we continued to play, then I grabbed a shower because I needed to head out and while I was drying and dressing, she tried to tempt me into one more round with a very entertaining masturbation scene. There have been some pretty good ones but I think that one takes the prize for me.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

Lingerie? She don't need stinkin' lingerie.

Say what?!
Damn straight I do.
You drinking today at work, that’s gibberish talk up there.
Black is my preference.
And I want it wrapped in a pretty bag too.

 

[Mr_bogey]

Say what?!
Damn straight I do.
You drinking today at work, that’s gibberish talk up there.
Black is my preference.
And I want it wrapped in a pretty bag too.

Apparently this phrase isn't as widely known as I thought:
https://www.google.com/search?q=bad...le&ie=UTF-8#scso=_nQ3tXv_DCIeFytMPlruHsAw39:0

I first discovered it in Blazing Saddles but I think it was also in 3 Amigos and a few more recent comedies.
If I wasn't so tech unsavvy, you would also notice that my avatar says:
"Avatar, I don't need no stinkin avatar" which was a response to a few folks here telling me having over 100 posts and no AV was creepy. I own being pervy but never creepy. So I spent a day or two crafting that turd after every pic I found of Humprey Bogart was not accepted.

How do you know your joke fell flat?
A: when you have to explain it

So you said your tattered lingerie was hanging on the doorknob. Someone else said you'd need it delivered. I corrected them, assuming you'd go comando and was trying to be cute in doing so but failed miserably and likely just killed this thread explaining it.

 

[Trekka]

Mr Bogey - - dude. She was yankin yer chain. Tryin to be cute. Chill out.

And if you get a pic resize app you can reduce the number of pixels of any photo you want and it’ll fit as an av. Although it might be hard to read the text.

I think we are making progress here. This is the nicest I’ve ever been to you.

Nah you didn’t kill the thread. You enriched it today!

Soooo I can answer my own question and tell the story of...

1. The trench coat and the German stairwell
2. The Brazilian bartender and how I hit my head on the ceiling
3. The gold vibrator necklace and the private pool cabana
4. The redheaded temptress who left the drapes open

Or

5. Why I travel with a 25’ extension cord

 

[Mr_bogey]

I'll catch onto you mean girls one day.

I vote all of the above. A sex story a day keeps the Dr away.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

as you are so keen on hotel schematics, maybe you could hustle up some coffee? you know, we’re the room right between 905 and 909.

Lol. Totally missed that *

Or, I mean, I'll be in 909 masturbating furiously...

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Lingerie? She don't need stinkin' lingerie.

I'm so tired

 

[SMNaughtywife]

I'll catch onto you mean girls one day.

I vote all of the above. A sex story a day keeps the Dr away.

Mean girls, absolutely.
And my panties would be stuffed in your mouth for talking too much.
https://cdn.pornpics.com/pics1/2019-01-16/581538_04big.jpg

 

[SMNaughtywife]

4. The redheaded temptress who left the drapes open

Or the blond’s body print outline still on the window the next morning.

 

[Mr_bogey]

Mean girls, absolutely.
And my panties would be stuffed in your mouth for talking too much.
https://cdn.pornpics.com/pics1/2019-01-16/581538_04big.jpg

Promise?

 

[LizVegas79]

Mean girls, absolutely.
And my panties would be stuffed in your mouth for talking too much.
https://cdn.pornpics.com/pics1/2019-01-16/581538_04big.jpg

Mean girls are rarely ever nice and I think guys generally know that.

But in my experience, a guy will let a nice girl talk him into just about anything if she promises him she'll be a little mean!

 

[Trekka]

don’t forget the biscuits.

hold up.
i missed this little gem earlier!

and i'd like an order of that for breakfast please.

piping.
hot.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

We all get our panties in a bunch.
Knickers in a knot.
Trousers in a twist.

Someone says this or that and you didn’t like or agree with it.
Over hearing a conversation.
A tool out of stock at Home Depot.
Your SO’s driving.

When was the last time you felt outta sorts like this? ——>
What triggered it?
And your go to response, are you one that gets quiet and rocking the silent treatment until you feel better?
Suck it up buttercup, deal with it and move on?
Say something?

 

[Mr_bogey]

When SMN and trekka ganged up on me and beat the shit out of me. I slunk into a corner and cried.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

When SMN and trekka ganged up on me and beat the shit out of me. I slunk into a corner and cried.

More like cried for more.

 

[Orchidea73]

So, hotel sex: is it one of your things? Luxury or campy motor inn? Drapes open or closed? Do you let the neighbors hear? With a long time partner or a one-night stand? What's the best hotel sex you've ever had?

What is it about hotels that turns us into whores?!

And, for the record, room service in one of my kinks.

Yes to Hotel sex.
Luxury
Drapes open or closed, makes no difference to me.
Never cared who's hearing. So, yes, the neighbors can hear.
Both, long time partner or one-night stand.

The best hotel sex was in Dubrovnik, Croatia, with room services included.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I’m not one to stay silent. If I’m quiet it means everything is cool. If things are not cool, I will be releasing a statement- something along the lines of, “Hey Fuckface, what the fuck?”

At least that will be my tone. I’m actually pretty good at rage. I’m capable of focusing all of it onto the person or thing that deserves my wrath. There is no collateral damage. This took years of work, but I got there. I don’t like people who get angry and take it out on who/whatever might be around. Put it where it deserves to be OR hit a punching bag, etc. until it passes.

I like to take care of things before they ever get to the rage level. I’m the guy who shuts down conversations when they get crazy. Thanksgiving table and opposing political views arise I’m the one who tells everyone to change the topic and I say it in a way that makes it clear that you will be thrown out of a window if you continue.

Peace through superior firepower works. <— that’s not meant to be a political statement as much as one of fact.

 

[Trekka]

I’m not one to stay silent. If I’m quiet it means everything is cool. If things are not cool, I will be releasing a statement- something along the lines of, “Hey Fuckface, what the fuck?”

At least that will be my tone. I’m actually pretty good at rage. I’m capable of focusing all of it onto the person or thing that deserves my wrath. There is no collateral damage. This took years of work, but I got there. I don’t like people who get angry and take it out on who/whatever might be around. Put it where it deserves to be OR hit a punching bag, etc. until it passes.

I like to take care of things before they ever get to the rage level. I’m the guy who shuts down conversations when they get crazy. Thanksgiving table and opposing political views arise I’m the one who tells everyone to change the topic and I say it in a way that makes it clear that you will be thrown out of a window if you continue.

Peace through superior firepower works. <— that’s not meant to be a political statement as much as one of fact.

I just creamed in my panties.
Gimme a minute to clean up and I’ll be back with a real answer.