Litiquette VII

[QuietCanadian]

What’s the shortest time it’s ever taken for you to have an orgasm?
And the longest?
Have these stats changed over the years, for you or your partner, if you have one?
Ladies and gents, how long can you hang out n go to town down there (or let someone else hangout) before you throw in the towel and change up the game plan?
Does it even matter?!
*looks at watch*

I'm not going to answer that first question, can I apply the fifth amendment in Canada? Honestly, I don't know. I don't time these things, but I'm sure it was embarrassingly quick.

Longest? Also, never really timed it. But edging is usually a good time, so lengthy. Even some orgasm denial from time to time can be fun, no? Just me? Can't be.

I can "hangout" for quite some time. It's an enjoyable thing to do. I like the whole "no, no, where do you think you're going" play when a partner may think she is spent. The other way, hmmmm, it depends. If it's an overall experience, attention paid to areas that aren't just my cock, quite some time. But if it becomes something that I can see is going to result in something happening too quickly for the situation, I'll change things up.

Overall, oral is fun, let's keep that going for a while.

I’m almost positive you didn’t type that whole thing with a bag on your head. I’m disappointed.

*steals flamingo socks*

Damnit. I liked them. But I can discuss this with a bag on my head, so I like that you're only almost positive.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

What’s the shortest time it’s ever taken for you to have an orgasm?
And the longest?
Have these stats changed over the years, for you or your partner, if you have one?
Ladies and gents, how long can you hang out n go to town down there (or let someone else hangout) before you throw in the towel and change up the game plan?
Does it even matter?!
*looks at watch*

I mean.. there are those times when it's like, "holy fuck.. that happened.."
the longest is too long and often results in overwhelming emotions and tears
the stats are always changed for the better when I am with a partner I trust and have strong feelings for..
and "down there?" totally depends on the day.. if there's enough variety, I don't know that any of this matters.

 

[Orchidea73]

Precluding someone for one belief or being friends with someone I don't like? No, that's silly talk.

It is but many do that chit.

And thus concludes an oral history of The Fast and the Furious. But mostly, I'm just agreeing with you.

An this is why nerds are hot. They get passionate.

 

[BongoGal]

What’s the shortest time it’s ever taken for you to have an orgasm?

Some number of years ago (10? 15?), I was in my bedroom, fully dressed, and not doing anything in particular. I just happened to see my Magic Wand on the floor next to my bed. I used it a week or so earlier and recalled how powerful it was. That was when I had an idea. I thought, "What if I....?" And I immediately turned that bad boy on, flopped flat onto my back on the bed, and pressed it firmly twixt my nethers. This was through denim jeans, mind you. It was mere seconds before I knew I was well on my way. Normally, I would use it more indirectly because it could be 'too much', but this time I didn't back away. With eyes crunched shut, I was soon gulping for air. I don't recall fantasizing at all, just thinking, "Holy fuck, I'm gonna come." And I sure did. I regret not using a stopwatch because I can't give a specific time, but I do know that this all went down in under a minute. I saw the clock on my nightstand reading 1:25 when I flopped onto the bed, and I saw it change to 1:26 shortly after my orgasm.

 

[QuietCanadian]

It is but many do that chit.



An this is why nerds are hot. They get passionate.

Never in my life would I expect my knowledge of the FF series to put me in a position to be perceived as hot. Yes, that is what I took from this.

 

[QuietCanadian]

I mean.. there are those times when it's like, "holy fuck.. that happened.."
.

You speak truth.

 

[Orchidea73]

Never in my life would I expect my knowledge of the FF series to put me in a position to be perceived as hot. Yes, that is what I took from this.

And you would be correct.
If someone gets me interested in something that I usually am not, because of their passion, that is HOT!

 

[QuietCanadian]

And you would be correct.

Well, shucks.

 

[Acktion]

What’s the shortest time it’s ever taken for you to have an orgasm?
And the longest?
Have these stats changed over the years, for you or your partner, if you have one?
Ladies and gents, how long can you hang out n go to town down there (or let someone else hangout) before you throw in the towel and change up the game plan?
Does it even matter?!
*looks at watch*

I've said before, but I'll say again, I'm a weird as fuck duck. Back before I even knew for certain just where the pussy was, much less had seen one, I was paranoid... nay, I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to satisfy the woman I eventually had the opportunity to have sex with (after we were married, of course) and so would lose her.

And came up with a training program based on research (that I was probably too impressionable to be exposed to) that approached sex like the Olympic Decathlon.

Only, that shit backfired when I did get around to actually having sex. Big time.

I had trained myself to hold off for an hour before cumming. (The first time.) And as a result, I needed that long to get there.

***sigh*** Every lover I've ever had has thought they found a good thing at first. But, with only two exceptions they have run, not walked, away. And even those two exceptions, it has driven crazy from time to time. "Oh, for fuck's sake! Would you just cum already?!"

So...

How short was the shortest time for me? I can recall one time when it was twenty minutes. But, I was pretty worked up before we started.

Longest was about eight hours. And before the medical professionals start getting worried, no. I wasn't hard the entire time, I didn't court blood poisoning. I know enough that if I don't cum in four hours, I force myself to go flaccid. Although, the most recent time resulted in hematospermia.

And, yeah. The "stats" did change over the years. During my two and half decade to my late wife, Love. But, more so I changed due to aging and infirmity. I've told the tale around here somewhere of the first time my sweet little spice came to me and I took her for forty-seven hours. I'm sure most that read it thought it was hyperbole. It wasn't. And what I don't know if anyone can comprehend is that I was let down by my performance there, that I could no longer do the full seventy-two hours that I had with Love in a Dallas hotel room a few decades earlier.

But, by the same token, according to my sweet little spice, "I'm fuckin' GLAD you've slowed down! 'Cause if I'd met you back then, I think you might have broken me!"

It's all perspective, I suppose.

Which, I'm not sure of my perspective on the next question. How long can I hang out and go to town down there or let someone else hang out before changing the game plan?

I'm not real sure I understand the question... But, I'm going to assume it is asking how long I can perform cunnilingus versus how long can I allow her to perform fellatio.

In one memorable event from my early years, I sucked, licked, fingerbanged, and ate her out for an hour and a half without ever taking my jeans off. No, that wasn't normal for me. I tend to follow a game plan of being steered by her reactions. And once she had three orgasms that way, brought my cock out for the rest that she could endure. Only... this gal just didn't seem to have anything that I recognized as even one orgasm. Although I later found out that she'd had several and didn't ask me to stop because she was disappointed, but because I'd worn her out.

Fellatio on the other hand... It makes absolutely no damn sense, because left to my own devices in a solo-masturbatory session, I tend to fixate on this as my prime fantasy. However, in the moment... Well, one night Love greeted me when I came home by squatting down in front of me with my back against the front door, before I even had the chance to set my helmet down. And I held up under her ministrations right up until she looked up at me and begged for me to cum. At which point I broke and swept her over my shoulder to carry to the bed where I proceeded to ravish her for two hours. She tried again the next night and the next for probably two weeks, but we never did figure out how many licks it took to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop.

So... yeah. I'm just not built to be passive. About much of anything really, but especially when it comes to sexy fun times. I can have infinite patience when administering to my lover, but hardly any at all on the receiving end. Despite wishing and fantasizing to the contrary.

Does it even matter?

Well, in my experiences it has mattered a whole hell of a lot. Lubrication has a tendency to dry up and muscles clamp down somewhere around their twelfth orgasm if not before. And since I've never been a "one and done," I had plans for later that weren't going to possible if she was too sore and possibly even injured. So, that's typically been my guiding star as I set sail 'round the world. Her responses more than the tick-tock of a watched clock.

Because at the end of the day, for me, her pleasure is what I most treasure. And her climax the ultimate surrender to me.

 

[Trekka]

^^ so I'm not the only one that gets self conscious because i'm taking too long. i feel better now.

i think it's interesting that, for the most part, the guys blush when they cum quickly, and the women worry about it taking too long.

i remember the first time i ever played with my hitachi magic wand. it was pretty much instantaneous. like sticking my finger in a light socket. surprised i didnt just pass right out. lol.

and i remember how i used to be able to cum rapid fire like a machine gun. or corbal. and then something happened... i got a little older? and now it's like one or two or three and i'm done! i'm good, and i'm done. maybe a skilled hand could coax one or two more outta me, but that's a long shot, and a Big Night.

sometimes it takes forever! even when i'm alone and all worked up!
sometimes it doesn't take long at all! *so confusing*

i'm under a strict "you better not fake it" order from the BF. strict!! so, sometimes? he's down there for 45 mins! the man is a trooper.

but it's not usually that long. anyone else time how long they've been at it by how many songs have played? lol. usually he's down there for 5 or 6 songs. laughing.

on the other hand, i can't remember spending that long working on someone else... i can think of times when we went again and again and again...

and then there's those rare occasions when it just ain't gonna happen, i'm too stressed, my head can't stay in the game... that's when i drag him up by the ears and beg him to fuck all the noise right outta my head.

 

[rubydlite]

What’s the shortest time it’s ever taken for you to have an orgasm?
And the longest?
Have these stats changed over the years, for you or your partner, if you have one?
Ladies and gents, how long can you hang out n go to town down there (or let someone else hangout) before you throw in the towel and change up the game plan?
Does it even matter?!
*looks at watch*

When we leave for long periods of time we pop back in and talk about orgasms....right?!
I'm a firecracker ...if I'm in the right mood...it can be a few minutes....
If you make me hold out (please, make me hold out), I can go hours.
If there's a dick in my mouth....sometimes I like the quick game...sometimes I like the tortuous long game.lol

 

[Acktion]

^^ so I'm not the only one that gets self conscious because i'm taking too long. i feel better now.

i think it's interesting that, for the most part, the guys blush when they cum quickly, and the women worry about it taking too long.

i remember the first time i ever played with my hitachi magic wand. it was pretty much instantaneous. like sticking my finger in a light socket. surprised i didnt just pass right out. lol.

and i remember how i used to be able to cum rapid fire like a machine gun. or corbal. and then something happened... i got a little older? and now it's like one or two or three and i'm done! i'm good, and i'm done. maybe a skilled hand could coax one or two more outta me, but that's a long shot, and a Big Night.

sometimes it takes forever! even when i'm alone and all worked up!
sometimes it doesn't take long at all! *so confusing*

i'm under a strict "you better not fake it" order from the BF. strict!! so, sometimes? he's down there for 45 mins! the man is a trooper.

but it's not usually that long. anyone else time how long they've been at it by how many songs have played? lol. usually he's down there for 5 or 6 songs. laughing.

on the other hand, i can't remember spending that long working on someone else... i can think of times when we went again and again and again...

and then there's those rare occasions when it just ain't gonna happen, i'm too stressed, my head can't stay in the game... that's when i drag him up by the ears and beg him to fuck all the noise right outta my head.

Not at all! In fact, it was stories such as these that caused my terror fueled studies and training all these decades ago. The man popping off and the woman left wanting. And then wandering off to find something that could satisfy her.

And I still hear these stories. All the time. And, yeah, even from lovers during our first explorations as I tease out their past experiences so I know what framework lattice I will be working out from in my effort to render that most beautiful of all creations, a well-loved woman in the throes of passion wrought by my efforts.

I couldn't, I really couldn't, hazard a guess just how many told me that they'd never climaxed actually with anyone before, much less multiples.

Only to then have them leave me because they were cumming too much and I wasn't cumming enough?! WTF?! That was NOT how the storybook story was supposed to go! She was supposed to be so swept up in the passions that I brought to life in her, how good I made her feel, that she would stay forever and never stray!

And, yet, I felt like the singer from "there goes another rubber tree plant." And it absolutely baffled me. Until I met Love, the woman I would eventually marry, and who earned her nickname by teaching me what love really was and how to.

And she didn't mind AT ALL just how long I could go and what I would do. And, yeah, we really did retire to a hotel in Dallas for seventy-two solid hours on a laughing bet about which of us could actually outlast the other back in '93. And at the end of the seventy-two hours when we exited (and allowed housekeeping in for the first time), we were both limping, but both smiling, and I was the conceded winner.

Well, she didn't mind for several years, anyway, until about a decade and a half later when she looked up at me after two hours and said, "oh, for fuck's sake, would you stop holding back and just cum already?!"

Which was, I think understandably, counterproductive as it gave both of us the giggle fits. But, yeah... once we calmed down and stopped snickering, we had a serious discussion. And she told me that while she loved what I did for her, sometimes, and particularly on nights when we had worked all day and had to the coming day, it would be nice to fuck, cum, cuddle, and get to sleep longer than five hours. And since she was afflicted with nymphomania and I with satyrnalia, skipping those night altogether wasn't an option.

Funnily enough, the time when I popped off in twenty-minutes was also with her as, a few years later, she had a full hysterectomy. And was placed "on injured reserve" for six weeks. For maybe a week, she tried to do for me, but it would stir up an ache in her that we couldn't do anything about. And me handling matters on my own so she didn't have to try to sleep with rebar poking her hip all night long didn't answer since knowing what I was doing, even in another room, would turn her on. So, while being seven different kinds of asshole, there are some kinds I choose not to be. And I settled in to wait it out with her.

Both of us were so worked up by the time the doctor gave her a release that I gave her three more in just under five minutes after the front door was locked. And pulled out my own neglected cock to get busy.

And spent about the next ten just trying to work my way in. Egads, I wouldn't have thought that six weeks would be enough time to... Did they sew it shut by accident? What the Hell?

And the whole time she was screeching like a banshee "don't you dare fuckin stop" and every fraction of an inch gained would cum again and clamp down even tighter.

Well, I'd no sooner gotten in the saddle good (and given her a bit to stretch and get used to it again) and I turned into the three-pump-chump of my earlier fears. Seriously. Three strokes and I was suddenly wracked so hard I rocked back on my knees and came out, aided and abetted by her squeezing to shoot me out like a watermelon seed.

And, great gloriosky, it felt like the very first time ever as three hard spasms shook me there on my knees before I collapsed back to barely catch myself to keep from landing on her with two more tremors.

I had no idea what I'd done (my eyes were closed you see) until she started laughing uncontrollably and begging me to get a towel. And I opened my eyes to see...

Look, she was a tall woman. She could look down on the top of my head (when she couldn't avoid standing at the same time). And when I'd rocked back and fallen out of her, my hips were about her knees.

And that first shot that had been pent up for four weeks when I was used to seven or eight times per day got her right in the right eye. And looked like a Lit writer's wank fantasy. And that was just the first shot. The second went right up her right nostril. The third turned her cleavage into a river valley. The last two, after I'd fallen forward, had just glazed her whole pubic area.

I managed to stagger off and retrieve a towel, only running into three walls, and when I returned, my delicate flower (who had the sense of humor between us) says, "now THAT'S how you cum, damn it!"

Oh, HELL no!

If holding off for another four weeks didn't kill me, cumming like that again just might!

And while she wasn't swayed by latter, she was wholeheartedly in concurrence with the former.

Sadly, after not enough more years of laughing play, she was all but bedridden as her own history caught up with her. And for the last couple of years of her life, she just wasn't able to. The last time we tried, just two months before she died, having to stop when it hurt too much.

Not that long ago, my current lover, my sweet little spice, lamented to me that she wished she didn't cum so easily.

And I was, "Ubba... whu-...?"

This just did not compute. Not in any way, shape, form, or fashion. No sirree no how.

Now, I will just mention here that I am something of an aficionado of "the last love which dare not speak its name." I've been a practitioner of BDSM as something on the capitalized side of the slash for decades. I mention it because while I am well aware of something called "orgasm denial," it's just not how I've ever chosen to play. Oh, I can do it if she really, really needs it. But, life fucks up enough orgasms all on its own, as anyone with more than one rugrat can testify.

"Oh, God, I'm gonna-..." "Mooooooooommmmeeee! He's trying to cut my hair again!"

Not to mention all those stories from my distant past as well as my second ex-fiancee and first sexual experience being unable to cum even through masturbation before I met her and for the first several months of our, ultimately doomed, relationship.

Nope, her pleasure is my treasure. And the climax is the well-named apex of that pleasure. An orgasm an ovation. And, as such, I am much more inclined towards the "forced orgasm" experience than denial.

And I explained this to her.

Nope. She thinks she cums too easy.

And would not be swayed by my arguments "there ain't no such thang."

Well, unless any random Tom, Dick, or Harry comes walking up on the street and punches you in the pussy and you fall down writhing in the throes of ecstasy. THAT might be "too easy." But, no. Just because her late husband of three decades could make her cum almost on command (and now my own humble self) does not mean she cums too easy. After all, loving us enough to submit to our will so fully has to count for more than a lot. And she didn't cum for the erstwhile would-be rapist that found her not long before me, but kicked his ass.

But, apparently, we've been reading different stories in our misspent checkered past. And while I wouldn't change a damn thing since the stories I read brought me fear and phobia, I guess she wants to make me work for it like I do her, and as one of the heroines from her old, tattered bodice rippers.

***shrug***

At the end of the day, as long as everyone invited is having a good time, play on you filthy mutherduckers, and don't even bother with the question "to cum or not to cum? Ay that's the rub. Whether 'tis nobler to ride his arrow longer or..." Well, you get the idea.

My mantra though will continue to be, "cum early, cum often, babygirl. And we'll get to me eventually."

 

[SMNaughtywife]

Acktion- you have the best stories! Thank you.

I love taking my time giving a delicious cock worshiping.
I’m game every.single.day.
But then I’m all for a “let me fuck your pretty little mouth.” too

Going down on me, 99% of the time I’ll cum.
But just like Trekka, if my head is a mess, it’s harder to get there. And yeah, c’mere and fuck me hard while your hand wraps around my throat and I cum.
Add in some “my dirty li’l slut” and hot damn.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

Today 12 things appear in your backyard, they’re random, but all start with a letter of your choosing. What letter do you choose and what are the objects?

 

[Suz_anne]

Today 12 things appear in your backyard, they’re random, but all start with a letter of your choosing. What letter do you choose and what are the objects?

I random!

• C is for Cookie - that's good enough for me!
• Closer-era Clive Owen
• Chickens in a cute coop
• Cashmere cache of sweaters, blankets, scarves...
• Cheese - all of the cheeses
• Case of Chambertin 2005 - Domaine Armand Rousseau
• Cultivated garden
• Christian Louboutins
• Classic cute Cabriolet
• Cask of Jo Malone's Nectarine Blossom & Honey cologne
• Coffee with cream
• Cali Candy Kush

 

[AficionadoAngel]

Does a second orgasm count? Under the right conditions I can have a second orgasm less than a minute after the first. I don't own a vibrator, but I once had one "pulled on me" when I was already quite worked up and I think I came in a minute of two. Usually it's more like 5 minutes I would guess, when things really get going.

The longest depends on what I may have consumed. Alcohol slows things down while other drugs can go either way. I'm pretty sure it's been an hour or two before, but there might have been some breaks in there.

What’s the shortest time it’s ever taken for you to have an orgasm?
And the longest?
Have these stats changed over the years, for you or your partner, if you have one?
Ladies and gents, how long can you hang out n go to town down there (or let someone else hangout) before you throw in the towel and change up the game plan?
Does it even matter?!
*looks at watch*

 

[QuietCanadian]

I'm just gonna go to Suz's backyard. I'm Canadian, so it works.

I'm gonna go with B, but I'll likely think of something better later.

• Big Green Egg
• Big Screen TV Showing Baseball
• Builder's Edition Grand Pacific Taylor Guitar (Wild Honey Burst)
• Beer, not Budweiser though
• Basil Hayden's Bourbon
• Bean Shaped Pool (I don't want to do laps)
• Big Enough for Two Hammock
• Bananas (Hey this is going to be a party, we're gonna need some sustenance)
• Beagle
• Brick Fire Pit
• Beca from Pitch Perfect (this is really a cop out, so not an object)
• Bacon Bourbon Apple Crisp wth a Vanilla Bean Ice Cream

 

[Richard_C]

I haven't met a stopwatch I couldn't beat!


I mean with a hammer!!


I'm a freak, but don't put that kind of pressure on me!!

 

[Corbal]

I'm just gonna go to Suz's backyard. I'm Canadian, so it works.

I'm gonna go with B, but I'll likely think of something better later.

• Big Green Egg
• Big Screen TV Showing Baseball
• Builder's Edition Grand Pacific Taylor Guitar (Wild Honey Burst)
• Beer, not Budweiser though
• Basil Hayden's Bourbon
• Bean Shaped Pool (I don't want to do laps)
• Big Enough for Two Hammock
• Bananas (Hey this is going to be a party, we're gonna need some sustenance)
• Beagle
• Brick Fire Pit
• Beca from Pitch Perfect (this is really a cop out, so not an object)
• Bacon Bourbon Apple Crisp wth a Vanilla Bean Ice Cream

B is for bag.

You forgot the fucking bag.

Dammit. I’m done.

 

[QuietCanadian]

B is for bag.

You forgot the fucking bag.

Dammit. I’m done.

Fuck. We had a pretty alright run though, didn't we?

 

[Corbal]

Fuck. We had a pretty alright run though, didn't we?

We cannot have a comedy road porn show without the bag.

It’s like a PB&J without the PB.

I’m disappointed. Take your white socks back.

 

[Trixxii]

I went with the letter L.

• Lemon Tree
• Lightbulb - I always forget to buy them
• Lavender
• Love Letter - A delightfully sinful one
• Lace Lingerie - It's my favorite
• Leather Paddle - In dark red, please
• Lollipop Bouquet - Watermelon flavored
• Lip Gloss - Dreamsicle Juicy Tube
• Llama!!!
• Lox and Cream Cheese Bagel
• Latte from the corner coffee shop
• Lorna Doone - Cause I've never read the book

 

[QuietCanadian]

We cannot have a comedy road porn show without the bag.

It’s like a PB&J without the PB.

I’m disappointed. Take your white socks back.

Shit. Disappointed? That's worse than being angry. I can pick up some PB on the way home, I'll have them double bag it.

 

[Trekka]

• Mangoes
• Macchiato, large, lotsa foam, bottomless
• Mani/pedi chair with nail tech just waiting for me
• Momoa, Jason
• Mood rings, always fun
• Magic wand, hitachi, a shiny new one
• Merlot, a good vintage, with two balloon glasses so I can share with a friend
• Metallica circa 1994 playing an unplugged set, just for me
• Money!
• Massage therapist, male
• Mountain Dew, Diet, spirting forth from a fancy fountain
• Meat, red, grilled, medium rare

 

[Mr_bogey]

•Faralicious
•Furburgers
•Funbags
•Fat Stacks of cash
•Five cases of 2xIPAs from Hill Farmstead
•Farm raised beef
•Fish - specifically Monkfish
•Furry Golden Retriever puppies
•Five bottles of Elijah Craig Barrel Proof C919
•Fannies - all the luscious fannies that backyard can hold
•Friends to share my bounty with
•Fellatio for me and my friends