Limericks at 10 Paces

[cookiejar]

Bear was riding in the caboose
When his dick it just sprung loose
it fell over the side
he took it in stride
Cause he's into all kinds of abuse!!

 

[biggbear8]

Bear said my back aches, my penis is sore,
I really can't screw any more:
I'm dripping with sweat,
You haven't come yet,
And - oh, no, it's a quarter to four!"

 

[biggbear8]

cookie in reply, in that case, I think you should know:
I wondered how far you could go;
Though I stifled my moans
And held back on groans
I came thirty times in a row!"

 

[biggbear8]

Rosy husband has got himself lost
Under the files and the disks and the floss.
She threw them away,
But early next day,
She discovered she'd thrown out the 'boss'!

 

[biggbear8]

cookie wants to get nasty with you
do you want to get nasty with me
she wants to spank you
she wants to thank you
for doing the nasty things you do

 

[biggbear8]

so silky you think that you are tough
silky you sayyou like to play rough
well lets go
cause you know
silky wants to wear my handcuffs

 

[biggbear8]

Cookie starts in the morning
Just as the day is dawning
With Rosy she jokes
Takes the mick from the blokes
A surefire cure for our yawning

 

[biggbear8]

Cookie find for your verse there's no call,
And you can't afford paper at all,
For the poet true born,
However forlorn,
There's always the lavatory wall.

 

[biggbear8]

With his thoughts on all sorts of abuse
Barn asked the good folk of Dunluce
If he brought his shillelagh
Along to their ceilidh
Would it get, did they think, any use?

 

[biggbear8]

gentleman Chem-E knew slightly
Persisted in e-mailing nightly
To ask her if she
Would ever be free
To come round and tie him up tightly.

 

[biggbear8]

Poor Middlestump was fast losing his sanity
And was diagnosed “split personality”,
When his doctor said “Middlestump,
Can you live with yourself?”
He said, “Yes, only not in reality”.

 

[biggbear8]

theTemptress suggest in an earthquake, the best thing to do
Is to set about having a screw:
When you're done, you can say
In a nonchalant way,
"May I ask, did the earth move for you?"

 

[biggbear8]

Jade taking driving lessons one night
Made a left by mistake at the light
Then she turned left twice more
With intent to be sure
For she knew that three wrongs make a right.

 

[biggbear8]

knocked long 'fore he turned back the door lock:
"Afternoon", I quoth, touching my forelock,
But Slick wouldn't chat,
Said, "I've no time for that",
So I took meself back home to Porlock.

 

[biggbear8]

There once was a princess named WildRose,
And where she is now, no one knows.
It is rumored she fled,
Or at least, so it's said,
From a prince with a very long nose

 

[biggbear8]

There spiderlady who lived in a shoe,
Who had so many children and knew just what to do,
She took to the streets,
Trading blowjobs for eats,
Now she's full, and her kids are too

 

[biggbear8]

Little ABM sat in a corner,
Eating her nice hair pie,
He stuck in his thumb,
She said, "Are you dumb?,
Give me dick if you're ready to try!"

 

[biggbear8]

I see by the size of your member
You're as hot as a blazing coal ember!
So slicken that mast -
And slick, make it fast -
This Cookies not been poked since December!

 

[biggbear8]

silky said you'll think me quite dotty,
But please, no caffeine in the latte!
One simple espresso -
I put on a dress, oh,
And really start acting quite sexually naughty!

 

[biggbear8]

"For Christmas", Cookie said with a tingle
"I'd love a gift cunnilingual!"
'Twas with joy and surprise
She found twixt her thighs
The tongue of jolly Bear Kringle!

 

[biggbear8]

Spiderlady while dining at LOU'S
Found an horse's whang in her stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout,
And don't wave it about,
Or the others will all want one too."

 

[biggbear8]

There was a trucker named nightmoves from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight 'un."
She replied, "Hon my soul,
You're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right 'un."

 

[biggbear8]

Said wildrose with open delight,
"My pubic hair's perfectly white.
I admit there's a glare,
But the fellows don't care.
They locate it more quickly at night."

 

[cookiejar]

OMG.....ROFL......Bear you've outdone yourself.......

 

[ChemE_student]

Please, please, please tell us you've been saving those up! Otherwise, we all are left so far in the dust we might as well just let you carry the thread from now on!