a haiku is more than 5-7-5

[_Land]

For me the clearer one can make the image the better. Of course the image has to work within the context of what you're saying overall. So if the point of the poem is, for example, to evoke the sound of the splash a frog makes when it jumps into a pond, why would it matter if the frog is big or green or whatever? That's more specific but it doesn't affect the point of the poem.

I went searching for an answer.......

This is what the answer came up as

In traditional Japanese haiku, neither naming the animal outright nor purely implying it is strictly “better”—but there are important nuances in how it's done, tied to seasonality, subtlety, and aesthetic sensibility.

Here’s how it breaks down:


---

1. Kigo (Season Word):

Traditional haiku must contain a kigo, a word or phrase that references a season. Animals often serve as that seasonal anchor—e.g., frogs for spring, cicadas for summer, geese for autumn, etc.
Naming the animal clearly can fulfill that requirement directly.

> Example:
An old silent pond—
a frog jumps into the sound
of water.
—Matsuo Bashō



In Bashō’s haiku, the frog is named explicitly, as it’s the seasonal cue for spring.


---

2. Subtlety (Yūgen & Ma):

Japanese aesthetics value yūgen (mysterious depth) and ma (the space between things). Sometimes, evoking the animal through image without naming it creates a more open, mysterious experience for the reader.

This is especially prized when the reader can recognize the animal from behavior or sensory details.

> Example (implied):
Narrow trail through reeds—
a sudden rustle behind
vanishing footsteps



We may never see the animal, but it’s there, and our mind meets the poem halfway.


---

3. Cultural Context Matters:

In Japanese haiku, readers are steeped in seasonal awareness and poetic tradition. A named animal immediately evokes not just an image, but a mood, a time, a whole cultural moment. In English-language haiku, this resonance is less culturally automatic, so we often need stronger imagery to communicate the same feeling.


---

Which is better?

Neither is better—what matters is the impact:

Name the animal when it fulfills seasonal, cultural, or symbolic clarity.

Imply the animal when myst
ery, subtlety, or emotional space serve the poem better.



So from a perspective of trying to honor the traditional based on this either form is fine.....

I happen to really like my bull in the china shop of haiku example LOL.

 

[Angeline]

I went searching for an answer.......

This is what the answer came up as

In traditional Japanese haiku, neither naming the animal outright nor purely implying it is strictly “better”—but there are important nuances in how it's done, tied to seasonality, subtlety, and aesthetic sensibility.

Here’s how it breaks down:


---

1. Kigo (Season Word):

Traditional haiku must contain a kigo, a word or phrase that references a season. Animals often serve as that seasonal anchor—e.g., frogs for spring, cicadas for summer, geese for autumn, etc.
Naming the animal clearly can fulfill that requirement directly.

> Example:
An old silent pond—
a frog jumps into the sound
of water.
—Matsuo Bashō



In Bashō’s haiku, the frog is named explicitly, as it’s the seasonal cue for spring.


---

2. Subtlety (Yūgen & Ma):

Japanese aesthetics value yūgen (mysterious depth) and ma (the space between things). Sometimes, evoking the animal through image without naming it creates a more open, mysterious experience for the reader.

This is especially prized when the reader can recognize the animal from behavior or sensory details.

> Example (implied):
Narrow trail through reeds—
a sudden rustle behind
vanishing footsteps



We may never see the animal, but it’s there, and our mind meets the poem halfway.


---

3. Cultural Context Matters:

In Japanese haiku, readers are steeped in seasonal awareness and poetic tradition. A named animal immediately evokes not just an image, but a mood, a time, a whole cultural moment. In English-language haiku, this resonance is less culturally automatic, so we often need stronger imagery to communicate the same feeling.


---

Which is better?

Neither is better—what matters is the impact:

Name the animal when it fulfills seasonal, cultural, or symbolic clarity.

Imply the animal when myst
ery, subtlety, or emotional space serve the poem better.



So from a perspective of trying to honor the traditional based on this either form is fine.....

I happen to really like my bull in the china shop of haiku example LOL.

I'm glad you found an answer that can help you.

This is why I prefer the tanka form and, if I'm doing 17 syllables, the American Sentence.

 

[_Land]

Circle of life
A narrative haiku
By Bear Sage


1. First Breath
Soft paws in tall grass,
mother’s hum the only truth—
world still smells like milk.

...

2. Teeth Come Quietly
First wound tastes like rust.
A rabbit’s scream in his mouth—
he does not flinch now.

...

3. Rebel Roar
Claws against the pride,
he chases the sun alone,
too wild to be ruled.

...

4. Scars Like Scripture
Bones ache in the night.
Each scar writes a sermon down—
pain taught him to lead.

...

5. Crowned in Dust
He walks with thunder.
No longer asks to be seen—
the land bows for him.