Joke

[lickerish]

Home Late...

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys." I told my wife that I would be home by midnight...promise! Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 3:00 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.

The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her 12 o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one! She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said 'oh shit,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted.

Ha Ha

 

[InternationalFunboy]

This little old lady walks up to this biker club and knocks on the door...
A big burley mofo answers and sneers down at her, Waddya want?
I want to join your club.
This club is for bikers only, where's your ride?
That's my hog over there..
The guy was impressed but he still wasn't sure about the whole thing so he tried to discourage her, Well, do you smoke?
Three packs a day, and a few cigars while I'm shooting pool.
He was actually starting to dig her vibe so he hit her with the kicker, Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?

No, but I've been swung around by my nipples a few times.

 

[Basia]

This blond was sitting in the middle of a corn field in a row boat, rowing away. A second blond is driving down the road, spies the first blond and stops her car.

The second blond gets out of her car, looks to the first blond and yells:

"It's people like you who give the rest of us a bad name! If I knew how to swim I would go over there and slap you!"

 

[Valdimer]

Here's a cheesy joke for ya...

A mushroom walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender says," We dont serve your kind here." And the mushroom says, " Why not? I'm a fungi!"

Get it? hahahahahhahahahahahahahha

I kill me, here are some more...

3 men walk into a bar, the 4th one ducks.

A termite walks into a bar and says, " Is the bartender?"

Horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, " Why the long face?"

Lmfao, god, I have shitty jokes.

*Goes to get better material.*

 

[Basia]

A guy walks into a bar

ouch

 

[faith]

three nuns

Three Italian nuns die and show up at the pearly gates where they are met by Saint Peter. He says," Ladies you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you 6 monthes to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be.

The first nun says," I want to be Sophia Lorien." *Poofs* she's gone.

The second nun answers," Madonna" *Poof* she's gone too.

The third nun says," Sara Pipalina."

St. Peter just shakes his head," I'm sorry sister but that name just doesn't ring a bell."

The sister take a paper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hand the paper back to her...."No sister the paper says...Sahara Pipeline layed by 1,900 men in 6 months"