Is it her responsibility or his??

[AbsolutLolita]

I've heard the female should because she's got the parts that need protecting, but that the man should because he's got the parts that the female parts need protected from. *lol*

Fellow Lit members I want your thoughts on whether or not it's the females responsibility to take care of the birthcontrol/family planning/etc... or is it the man's?

Do you think that women should take the responsibility to use the pill or various other contraceptives? Should the man take the responsibility and use condoms? When it's decided that you don't want to have children should the woman have her tubes tied or should the man have a... *gasp* vasectomy (because after all it is easier for men to have this process than the woman to have her operation, but most men are babies about it )??

I await your insightful answers!

 

[freakygirl]

both

If she doesn't want to get pregnant.. or an STD.. make sure he is wearing a condom.. and for double protection.. be on the pill.

don't ignore one just because you are using the other

 

[MissTaken]

I think that these decisions are best made as a couple. Each will respond differently. All possibilities should be explored and then two partners can consider the best option for them.

In real life though, it seems that responsibility often lies with the female.

 

[estevie]

both

If she doesn't want to get pregnant.. or an STD.. make sure he is wearing a condom.. and for double protection.. be on the pill.

don't ignore one just because you are using the other

yep! *nodding in agreement*

 

[modest mouse]

Any woman who leaves the responsibility with the man is a fool. Period, end of sentence.

 

[Weird Harold]

Fellow Lit members I want your thoughts on whether or not it's the females responsibility to take care of the birthcontrol/family planning/etc... or is it the man's?

It is BOTH parties to protect against disease and (unplanned) conception. However, on a practical basis, the woman taking unilateral action is more effective than depending on a man with too little blood to run both brains to remember.

As for "permanent" solutions, a vasectomy prevents many more pregnancies than a tubal ligation. If one particular woman wishes to avoid pregancy, then she should go for the fix -- there is always the possiblity of rape to consider. On the other hand if the motive is to reduce the population explosion, then a vasectomy is simpler and protects all women as well as the spouse.

 

[KillerMuffin]

The simple answer is that each adult is responsible for his or her own body. If you want to have sex and you don't want to get pregnant or catch a disease, then you should be responsible enough to tote your own birth control with you. In a perfect world, you would be able to rely on your partner at least some of the time to think of these things.

If you no longer want children and you're in a long term monogamous situation, it is far easier for him to get a snip than her to get tied. Most doctors refuse to perform a tubal ligation unless the woman has had about twenty kids and is nearing menopause. It's not easily reversed.

In my opinion, birth control rests with the individual, not the couple. It's better to have too many condoms than not enough. If you have condoms for him and none for her and he has a choice between the condom or jacking off again, most men will roll that bad boy on and ride.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Any woman who leaves the responsibility with the man is a fool. Period, end of sentence.

This is scary modest mouse, I agree with you on too many subjects,lol

Men should have the snip when the 'having a family' days are over.... didn't they see what their partner went through in the delivery room !!!! I think men that will not have the snip are wimps

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

sounds like most people are saying what i was gonna say...
Both, if he don't want to use anything and she agrees.... it's as much her fault as his.
if she don't want to use anything cause it's the guys responsibility and he don't want to cause it's her responsibility......

Both to blame eather way.

she says she's on the pill so it's okay and he don't have to use it... if he listens... he's an idiot, both to blame again patern evovling me thinks.

 

[Elizabeth]

I agree with everyone else. Both parties need to be responsible for their bodies. It's never fair to drop that on one person since both are participating.

 

[Aphrodisiac]

Do you think that women should take the responsibility to use the pill or various other contraceptives? Should the man take the responsibility and use condoms?
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I take responsibility for my own form of birthcontrol & he does the same for himself ... but even before we had sex we had discussed birthcontrol & we both agreed on what sort of birthcontrol was needed within our relationship.

 

[Summery]

The only one that takes responsibility for me and my body, is ME. Though I firmly believe in discussing this issue with my partner.

 

[kitsuke]

Men should have the snip when the 'having a family' days are over.... didn't they see what their partner went through in the delivery room !!!! I think men that will not have the snip are wimps

So in other words, I should have an invasive, potentially damaging, and completely elective surgery because my mate wants no more kids? What happened to condoms or birth control?

It is not the procedure or the use of it that gets me. It is the thinking that the man should do it, de facto. I know it's easier to do and undo, and less damaging to the male. But for gods's sake it was thinking like this (It's His/Her responsibility for "Insert Typical Thing Here") that got us to the point where women were in the kitchen cooking and having babies. And that was their entire sum of existence.

I personally think that it is not patently any single person's/sex's/whatever's responsibility to get something like that done. Each couple needs to discuss it between themselves and come up with their personal solution. Vasectomy may work out as the best option for many people, and more power to them.

And I say this in the nicest possible way because you are and intellignet and reasonable person T.H. Oughts, but don't you dare call me a wimp just because I don't want a doctor to play "Get my Knot-tying Merit Badge" with my boys.

 

[Chuckus]

It takes two to tango, therefore two people to dance or not dance. Precautions should be taken by both parties or face the consequences.

Even with the pill, there is a chance. Even with a condom, there is a chance. But with both, sure it's possible but not a high probability.

The "measures" should be taken by both parties.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

And I say this in the nicest possible way because you are and intellignet and reasonable person T.H. Oughts, but don't you dare call me a wimp just because I don't want a doctor to play "Get my Knot-tying Merit Badge" with my boys.

I see you point, I was meaning men that will not becasue they think it might do something to their sexuality or they don't want a doctor anywhere near their penis with a knife.

The ones that have been with a partner for many years and she has been the one to remember taking the pill every day. Why can't he take his turn at it?

If a man is over the age of 40, in a relationship of many years and they have the number of kids they want and does not have the snip becasue one day he might meet someone else who has not had kids and might want to... how much stock do they take in their current realtionship?

Gosh, you think I'm intelligent, lol.

 

[Laurel]

It's each partner's responsibility to make sure they don't get a disease from the other. It is the woman's responsibility to make sure that she does not get pregnant. She is the one who is most affected by a pregnancy. If she doesn't take precautions, then later blames the man, then she is being irresponsible. If he gets herpes from a girl with whom he had unprotected sex, then he is being irresponsible.

 

[kitsuke]

Well, the doc havin' the knife near my Pride n' Joy is really not the point, I was just kinda makin' a funny there. But the Vasectomy vs. Pill is not a very even thing, a comparable prevention would be a condom, i.e.- you can just stop using them when you want. The hysterectomy vs. vasectomy is the even solution there. I will be the first to admit that a vasectomy is 90% of the time a better option than hysterectomy, but the man still has to be willing to do it.

If a man coerced a woman into getting some altering surgery done to her body when she didn't want to, no MATTER how good the reason, what would your reaction be?

Now why should it be any different if the woman wants the man to have some surgery he doesn't want to? (And yes, women coerce men all the time, it is not necessarily a physical thing).

Also, what if the man, not necessarily the couple, but the man has religious objections to birth control and that is why they haven't used it? The woman may not feel the same way about it, but for Gods' sake she knew he did before they married. No way in hell something that significant can be missed.

What if the man is latex intolerant? Or the woman? Can't use condoms but the idea of a vasectomy frankly scares the piss out of him? What if I am just blathering on now because I like to hear myself talk? Incoming message from the Big Giant Head.....


Anyway, just some points (and when I said religious objections, I meant real ones, not just spur of the moment "You've been on the pill for twenty years but I was raised Catholic so *I* can't get a vasectomy" kind)

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Anyway, just some points

I see your points.. food for thought.. does this mean I have to call you intelligent too

 

[Chuckus]

What if the man is latex intolerant? Or the woman?

Lamb skin condoms.........

 

[kitsuke]

Lamb skin condoms.........

Don't protect near as well for pregnancy and almost useless against disease.... but for a couple that kinda doesn't want (not absolutely not, just kinda) to get preggo again they're fine.

 

[Chuckus]

Just giving options is all, just options and your right.

 

[CeceliaSkye]

I think the responsibility lies equally between both partners to communicate before they have sex, and to agree upon what method of birth control <if any> would work best for both....

 

[morninggirl5]

It's the responsibility of the man and the woman. You have to communicate about birth control and disease prevention and make decisions before they're needed.

Oh, and be prepared all the time just in case.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Depends on what you're lookin for... I hate condoms and since the only thing i'm attempting to avoid is pregnancy, i take care of the protection.

If and when I'm in a different relationship, unless i know the guy is clean, i suppose we'll have to use condoms.

 

[Wizard]

both

If she doesn't want to get pregnant.. or an STD.. make sure he is wearing a condom.. and for double protection.. be on the pill.

don't ignore one just because you are using the other

Thats my thoughts..........................You would be a fool any other way.