IHC's Relationship Advice Thread

[IhateClowns]

No, that can't be right. I could swear you had six alts.

Nooooo no no. That's 6 inches....







A round.

 

[Wife of Bath]

Oh right. My mistake.

 

[IhateClowns]

Oh right. My mistake.

It's ok. At least you can admit them. That's a good thing. Keep that trait.

 

[Wife of Bath]

Who me? I'm very demure. No arguments here.

 

[IhateClowns]

Who me? I'm very demure. No arguments here.

In stature? Have you tried platforms before?

 

[Wife of Bath]

I'm thinking we have different definitions for demure.

 

[IhateClowns]

I'm thinking we have different definitions for demure.

Maybe so. I am not smart with the vocabulary stuff. I am better just winging it.

 

[IhateClowns]

Does it mean you take it in the pooper?

 

[Wife of Bath]

Yes. Yes it does.

 

[IhateClowns]

Yes. Yes it does.

And your man runs from you? Do you clean the pipes prior or does it feel like pushing your fingers through silly putty?

 

[Wife of Bath]

I just threw up a little.

 

[IhateClowns]

I just threw up a little.

You ok? Feeling demure?????

 

[Wife of Bath]

I'm feeling quite demure. I think I'm having the vapors. Bring me some smelling salts.

 

[IhateClowns]

I'm feeling quite demure. I think I'm having the vapors. Bring me some smelling salts.

Cum has salt. What are you proposing?

 

[IhateClowns]

For those of you in stuck relationships the above conversation is how you are supposed to communicate. Be upfront. Ask questions. Get to the root cause of your problems. As you can see MYW needs to wax her stache and clean her pipes. I need to learn the definition of words but in the end we came together and found common ground.

I hope you all learned something today.

 

[Wife of Bath]

I appreciate your input, IHC. I think everything will be Great from now on! You're my hero.

 

[IhateClowns]

I appreciate your input, IHC. I think everything will be Great from now on! You're my hero.

Another deeply satisfied customer. I aim to please. I am a people pleaser. Oh and a hugger.

 

[IhateClowns]

There is no room in a relationship for jealousy. If you don't trust your partner enough that causes you to be jealous then they aren't worth it. I would rather be with a woman who turns heads and is wanted rather than one who makes people turn their head in disgust. Be proud of your mate and be secure in yourself and what you bring to the table.

 

[MedicalMuse]

I always find your advice so enlightening.
Or confusing, depending upon the topic of the day. I do love your mini synopsis of things though. That clarified everything.

 

[IhateClowns]

I always find your advice so enlightening.
Or confusing, depending upon the topic of the day. I do love your mini synopsis of things though. That clarified everything.

Awwwwwww. Thank you!

I think?

 

[MedicalMuse]

Awwwwwww. Thank you!

I think?

Exactly.

 

[IhateClowns]

Gotta love iPhones. Just as confusing as women with their double podts and double talk.

 

[IhateClowns]

Exactly.

Ahhh where is my Lucky Charms decoder ring at?????

 

[MedicalMuse]

Ahhh where is my Lucky Charms decoder ring at?????

I stole it. It makes you easier to understand.

 

[IhateClowns]

Here are some questions men shouldn't have to answer just because you feel the need to ask them.

1). How much did that cost?
2). Why are you acting like that?
3). Did you just fart?
4). Are you mad at me?
5). Do I look fat?
6). Where do you see this relationship going?
7). Am I still attractive?
8). Are you tired? You look tired.
9). Can I have the last Rice Krispie treat?
10). Want to cuddle?
11). Which dress do you like better?
12). Do we have to watch football every Saturday and Sunday?
13). How much money is in our account?
14). When are you going to now the lawn?
15). Want to go to my parents for Christmas?
16). Do you know what you are getting me for my birthday?
17). What's for dinner?
18). Is that steak cooked all the way through?
19). Wanna watch something in the Lifetime channel?
20). Can I wear my socks to bed?
21). What did you think of the new Twilight movie?
22). Does this movie scare you?
23). Will you change his diaper?
24). What time will you be home?
25). Where are you?
26). How is the job search going?
27). Out of our friends who would you sleep with?
28). Have you gained weight?
29). Is that what you are wearing?
30). Who are you talking to?
31). How many girls have you slept with?
32). Why don't you ever buy me flowers?
33). Where are my keys?
34). Why do we always go out with your friends?
35). Wanna read this funny text I got?
36). Why don't you ever wear that shirt I got you?
37). Wanna go shopping with me?
38). What color looks best on me?
39). Who do you think about when you masturbate?
40). Will you wash the dishes?
41). Why can't I drive?
42). Wanna go to the ballet?
43). Don't you just love Michael Buble?
44). Will you be on top this time?
45). What's wrong?
46). Why does your status say single?
47). Who did you vote for?
48). Does this hat make me look stupid?
49). Am I tight?
50). How does this feel?