IHC's Relationship Advice Thread

[crazy4cock]

Don't ever go to the mall with your wife or girlfriend. Even if she says she is going to Victoria's Secret. You will end up going to a bunch of other stores and even if you go to Victoria's Secret you end up fidgeting with a semi hard-on for the rest of the day. Not a lot of fun. Especially if you are wearing jeans.

Suck it up buttercup. Like we haven't had to feign interest in a new cordless drill just to get a little som'in som'in....just sayin....all's fair.

 

[IhateClowns]

Suck it up buttercup. Like we haven't had to feign interest in a new cordless drill just to get a little som'in som'in....just sayin....all's fair.

Power tools make you moist huh?

 

[crazy4cock]

Power tools make you moist huh?

It's those damned battery pacs.

 

[Wife of Bath]

Dear IHC,

My boyfriend complains because I want sex all the time. He runs when he sees me naked.

What do you recommend?

-lost in lingerie

 

[IhateClowns]

It's those damned battery pacs.

Hey I get it. Watching her get her breasts sized correctly is just as hot. Just something about measuring tapes that turn me on. Well unless I am measuring myself. Then I cry a little and understand her disappointment a little bit more.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear IHC,

My boyfriend complains because I want sex all the time. He runs when he sees me naked.

What do you recommend?

-lost in lingerie

I think lingerie is a waist of time. I would suggest. T-shirt and boy shorts. Maybe a hat as well. That is just my thing though. He might want to get his cataracts checked though. Maybe he sees the lingerie as something else and it spooks him.

 

[Wife of Bath]

So you're telling me to wear a pair of his boxers and one if his tshirts to bed? Hm. There's an approach I haven't tried before.

That is soooooooo helpful.

 

[IhateClowns]

So you're telling me to wear a pair of his boxers and one if his tshirts to bed? Hm. There's an approach I haven't tried before.

That is soooooooo helpful.

Sometimes simple is best. Lingerie can be cumbersome. Guys sure can't wrap gifts and unwrapping them can be a pain in the ass as well. We appreciate a gift in a paper bag just as much as one with all the bows and trimmings.

 

[Wife of Bath]

So your best recommendation is to wear a paper bag.

 

[rubydlite]

I should be able to squeeze atleast 6 more weeks out of my relationship with all this stellar advice...lol

 

[IhateClowns]

So your best recommendation is to wear a paper bag.

Hmmmm could be a possibility. Depends on how you look above the neck. Could be why he runs.

 

[IhateClowns]

I should be able to squeeze atleast 6 more weeks out of my relationship with all this stellar advice...lol

If it is only 6 weeks then it wasn't meant to be anyway. Thank you for realizing how stellar it is though.

 

[Wife of Bath]

I take very good care of my union row and always trim my mustache. That can't be it.

 

[IhateClowns]

I take very good care of my union row and always trim my mustache. That can't be it.

Do you trim or wax? If you just trim and leave some Billie Dee Williams action going on above that upper lip then that is your problem. It is one thing to have hair above the bottom pair of lips. It is a whole other situation if you got it on the northern set.

 

[Wife of Bath]

That was supposed to say unibrow. I'm very pleased with my personal grooming habits. I even started wearing deodorant. What gives?

 

[rubydlite]

If it is only 6 weeks then it wasn't meant to be anyway. Thank you for realizing how stellar it is though.

True...but I'm too lazy to break someone else in...


And you''re welcome....your couch therapy brings a laugh

 

[IhateClowns]

That was supposed to say unibrow. I'm very pleased with my personal grooming habits. I even started wearing deodorant. What gives?

Javon Musk is a deterrent for guys. It is like Superman's kryptonite. My suggest is go with a pit plaster that has a more feminine touch to it. No not vinegar or salmon smell. More flowery or lavender scented.

 

[IhateClowns]

True...but I'm too lazy to break someone else in...


And you''re welcome....your couch therapy brings a laugh

By break what do you mean? Girls have to be careful when on top. One slight move and you could cripple us. How many guys have you broke in? Might want to stop riding bareback and put on a saddle.

 

[Wife of Bath]

This goes against all my instincts but... I'll give it a try. Thanks for saving my relationship, Clowns. *swoon*

 

[IhateClowns]

This goes against all my instincts but... I'll give it a try. Thanks for saving my relationship, Clowns. *swoon*

No problem. Stop back by in a few months and let us know how sore you are from all of his insatiable attacks.

 

[Wife of Bath]

Is that sarcasm I'm sensing? This is a real problem I'm having, oh ye Internet guru.

 

[IhateClowns]

Is that sarcasm I'm sensing? This is a real problem I'm having, oh ye Internet guru.

Sarcasm? By wishing you well and asking you to come bak so you can share with all of my followers the success you have had from following my advice? Not at all. We all wish you happiness and soreness.

 

[Wife of Bath]

All your followers eh? They must be off having a party with my followers.

 

[IhateClowns]

All your followers eh? They must be off having a party with my followers.

I have 4 followers and they are all if my alts.

 

[Wife of Bath]

No, that can't be right. I could swear you had six alts.