If William Burroughs wrote 'Lord of the Rings'

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

Welcome to Mad_Jack_Rabbit's thread.

This is where I will occasionally post my pretentios drivel.

(The orginal material of this first post has been moved further down to provide a more friendly and warm welcome to visitors.)

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

If....

This is a strange one. The idea just came to me when I was leaving lit yesterday. What if William Burroughs had written 'Lord of the Rings'? I think it might go something like this:

‘The Council of Elrond.’

Strider and Arwen doing the four lip two tongue tango. Grey Gandolf he pull them apart. ‘Arwen, dahling, those jewels are as fake as you.’ Strider pissed no one insult his future queen. ‘Take that back you dumb fuck or else.’ And he drop trousers proving to all he really is king of the tower. Grey Gandolf rips off Awen’s dress proving to all she is already a queen. Arwen’s prick hangs limply between his legs. Sight of lover’s naked body make Strider forget he angry. ‘My love!’ he say and he fall to knees and takes prick in his mouth.

Grey Gandolf he now address the Council. He pissed because he been on the road too long and without getting any ass. ‘Why you fuckers, you faggot sons of syphilitic whores! This is THE ring, Sauron’s ring. Don’t you fucked up assholes know what that is?’

Elf Friend Elrond he tokes dope and holds smoke sans choking and slides hand along the king of the fairies thigh. ‘I don’t think he’s been getting any lately.’ Fairy King he say nothing but move Elf Friend hand to prick.

Grey Gandolf parts the grey veil and seizes wizard staff. ‘Bug fuck Sauron he sit in dark Mordor only really a trailer park in Las Vegas but he so fucked up he don’t know that. Sauron pissed. He pissed real bad. He mad at all you fuckers. Long time ago he get fucking big butt plug stick in ass then big battle break out and Elf king he come and cut off Dark Lord’s ring and now butt plug stuck. Stuck long time. Too long Sauron no do shit and now desperate to unplug like MTV and shit on whole world. His haemorrhoids have ulcerated and he hurting bad ‘cause Orc’s keep stealing his stash. So Dark Lord needs his ring. He send armies of faggot raping Orcs out into Middle Earth on big quest. He say ‘Find my ring so I can shit.’ All time Grey Gandolf rub wizard staff and snort cocaine from back of his junkie hand.

Flash forwards.
Tree Beard pissed. He pissed at Saruman. Saruman send big fuck Uruk-Hai to chop trees and make strap-on dildos to butt fuck Saruman all night. You see Saruman make Uruk-Hai Orcs without dicks only assholes he not want orcs spend all day fucking each other but no dicks mean he don’t get fucked either. And they not just chop trees for dildos. Saruman got big plan to open crack cocaine franchise across Middle Earth. Needs trees for feed fire and cook drugs.

Tree Beard already got drug market sown up he don’t want no faggot wizard muscling in on his action. He the main man so he stop opium and coke on way to Saruman. He say ‘Hey you bug fuck faggot wizard. You no chop trees or you no get your junk.’

Saruman pissed. Uruk-Hai break into dildo store and spend all time fucking each others asses. They snort all his coke and shoot up all his junk leaving Saruman strung out doing cold turkey. He so bad he doing cold ostrich now. Takes to giving blow jobs to dwarfs in return for rocks. Double crossing dwarves kick his ass and keep rocks to themselves because they in league with Tree Beard. Saruman even more pissed now. He burn all dildos while Uruk-Hai still fucked up on his junk. He tell them ‘you go chop all trees down or you don’t get fucked no more.’ Uruk-Hai limp off ass sore from too much fucking.

Tree Beard he waiting in ambush and he set Huorns on stupid faggot orcs. Uruk-Hai get stomped and stomped till their assholes too flat to fuck.

Cut Back
Elrond Elf Friend stares at Grey Gandolf wizard staff own hand working Fairy king’s pecker. ‘Can’t let Dark Lord of Mordor only really vacant lot behind Hollywood studio but he too fucked up to know that have ring. He shit on us all if he have ring and I don’t do scat. Only way is destroy ring take ring and throw into fire of mount Doom only really furnace in underground station. Now which of you dumb fucks is stupid enough to go there and destroy ring?’

Fairy King moans in pleasure as Elf Friend’s hand works his dick. Everyone else too busy fucking everyone else to answer. They all got their asses and mouths full of dick. Grey Gandolf’s wizard staff explodes spraying council with wizard jism. Sight too much for Elrond and he go down on Fairy King, showing exactly how he earn title of Elf friend.

Frodo he put ring on finger and tickle inside of Sauron’s ass. Far away in Mordor, only really back of fried chicken shack in New York but he don’t know that on account of his brain fucked by giant butt plug, the Dark Lord quivers with pleasure. ‘I take the ring,’ say Frodo. ‘I take the ring and throw it into fire of Mount Doom only really furnace in Basingstoke.’

Grey Gandolf he turn look at young hobbit wizard staff rising again. He smile, shake hobbit hand then turn him round, pull down his trousers and fuck him with mighty wizard staff. ‘You dumb fuck hobbit,’ he say filling tight Hobbit ass with hot wizard jism.
************************

Or maybe not.

 

[Weird Harold]

Please don't quote unless it really is necessary, say from a least a few posts before. It isn't hard to read the post just above.

I always quote the person I'm responding to, so there is no confusion about what point I'm addressing. The last post in a thread is often NOT the last post in thread by the time I've finished "running off at the fingers."

Of course, I seldom quote an entire post just to add a couple of words of commentary.

Don't ban quotes, promote responsible quote use.

On the thread topic, If anyone other than JRRT wrote the Rings trilogy, it wouldn't BE the rings trilogy. Terry Brooks' Shannara stories seem to me to be blatant rip-offs of JRRT's vision of middle Earth and they're just one example of people "flattering" Tolkien in that manner.

 

[cg_allstar]

How many ladies here love banal sex?

Sorry. Just couldn't resist.

 

[Guest]

How many ladies here love banal sex?

Is that anal with a partial banana?

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

Re: Re: If William Burroughs wrote 'Lord of the Rings'

I always quote the person I'm responding to, so there is no confusion about what point I'm addressing.

Don't ban quotes, promote responsible quote use.

I don't want to ban quotes - promoting responsible quote use is exactly what I am trying to do. And I think you have it about right.

As for the point about it not being LOTR if it was written by some one else I agree. I was just having a bit of fun. Perhaps you should take a look at Philip Jose Farmer's 'The Jungle Rot Kid On The Nod' - the premis being if William Burrough's had written Tarzan instead of Edgar Rice.

And yeah, Brooks is a bad Tolkien rip off and sadly one of so many.

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

Nah mate, it's just commonplace, trivial, petty.

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

Ten Things a man should avoid saying to a woman on a first date….
1) So you have a sister. That’s great, I’ve always wanted to try a threesome.
2) No, No, I meant ‘Ugly’ as a compliment – it suits you.
3) Plenty of room in an estate car. Which is handy because I’m living in mine.
4) I’d buy you a drink but I don’t get my benefit cheque ‘til tomorrow.
5) Quick duck – it’s my wife!
6) Yes I know your daughter, she gives great blow jobs.
7) What a strong smell of fish! Are you wearing knickers?
8) I can only get an erection when my body is covered with peanut butter.
9) I’m sure I’ve seen you before. Was it at the VD clinic?
10) Honeymoons are so romantic. This is the first night of mine.

 

[Angeline]

You want us to think about Burroughs

rewriting Tolkein and post responsibly? Hahahahaha.

That's pretty funny.

Personally I'd like to see what Burroughs might have done with the Laura Ingalls Wilder series.

And Nabakov Mary Poppins.

And Brett Easton Ellis Goodnight Moon.


Burroughs had skin like parchment. And those little lizard-looking eyes. And contempt for all. I saw him read a few times at the New Year's Eve all-night poetry readings at St. Mark's Church in the Bowery. One time he read with Laurie Anderson and John Luango. And Luango said each of his lines twice, like an instant replay. Gave his poem--which was about Richard Nixon--a beautiful chanting quality. Here are the first two lines of his poem:

You are floating down a river.
You are floating down a river.

Was this a responsible post?

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

Re: You want us to think about Burroughs

rewriting Tolkein and post responsibly? Hahahahaha.

That's pretty funny.

Personally I'd like to see what Burroughs might have done with the Laura Ingalls Wilder series.

And Nabakov Mary Poppins.

And Brett Easton Ellis Goodnight Moon.

Was this a responsible post?

Actually, it is 'QUOTE RESPONSIBLY' not post responsibly.

It is not my intention to make you think about Burroughs but feel free to do so should you have the urge. (Which is more important - the man or his writings?)

And I haven't re-written Tolkien.

I've 're-written' Tolkien using a caricatured style of another writer and posted it here under the vain delusion that people may enjoy reading it. Pretentious I know but what the hell. Just be glad I haven't started posting my poetry - makes Vogon poetry sound positively enjoyable.

Nabakov doing Mary Poppins might be interesting. Why not give it a go, Angeline. Think you can do a better job than me? Feel free to post it here, somewhere else or not at all but at least TRY. You're a poet, why not have a go at Dr Seuss's take on "American Pshco"?

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

Originally posted by Mad_Jack_Rabbit
___________________________
Welcome to Mad_Jack_Rabbit's thread. A somewhat strange one I expect.

Please try and refrain from using this as a chat room - there are chat rooms for that sort of thing - and please refrain from posting banalities here - there are plenty of other threads for that sort of thing. I know because I posted on them.

Oh, and one more thing. Please don't quote unless it really is necessary, say from at least a few posts before. It isn't hard to read the post just above.

In otherwords, please quote responsibly. (added for clarification in response to comments)

Thanks,

MJR

(Look, don't take it too seriously. I'm just making a polite request, not laying down the law okay? Can we move on now please?) In otherwords, please quote responsibly.
________________________

NOW I THOUGHT THAT THE ABOVE WAS FAIRLY STRAIGHT FORWARD, EASY TO UNDERSTAND AND INOFFENSIVE. JUDGING BY THE REPLIES I WAS NAÏVE TO THINK SO.

FIRST OFF IS THE “SELF OPINIONATED OLD FART” (HIS DESCRIPTION, NOT MINE) WEIRD HAROLD WHO TELLS ME THAT I SHOULDN’T BE TRYING TO BAN QUOTES BUT PROMOTE RESPONSIBLE QUOTING.

I THOUGHT THAT WAS WHAT I WAS DOING. HOW FUCKING STUPID OF ME TO GET THAT WRONG! AND THEN HE MAKES THE BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS POINT THAT “LORD OF THE RINGS” WOULDN’T BE “LORD OF THE RINGS” IF IT HADN’T BEEN WRITTEN BY TOLKIEN! WELL FUCK ME! ALL THIS TIME I’VE BEEN GOING AROUND THINKING THAT BURROUGHS’S ‘THE NAKED LUNCH” WOULD HAVE BEEN EXACTLY THE SAME BOOK WHETHER IT HAD BEEN WRITTEN BY LEWIS CARROLL OR ENID BLYTON! GOSH! IT IS TRUE THAT YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERYDAY!

WELL HERE’S SOME NEWS FOR YOU WEIRD HAROLD YOU PEDANTIC BASTARD: LOTR IS NOT A TRILOGY AS YOU SAY BUT A NOVEL PUBLISHED IN THREE VOLUMES. “AH-HA! THREE BOOKS THEREFORE A TRILOGY!” I HEAR YOU SAY. WRONG! LOTR IS SIX BOOKS, TWO IN EACH VOLUME MAKING IT, BY THE YOUR REASONING, A SEXTUPLET. <CRINGES IN PREPARATION FOR THE INEVITABLE PUNS>

AND THEN THERE’S ANGELINE. DEAR, SWEET ANGELINE (WHO NO DOUBT HAS LOTS OF FRIENDS WHO WILL TELL ME OFF FOR WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY) WHO IMMEDIATELY GETS IT WRONG AND THINKS I’M ASKING PEOPLE TO “POST” RESPONSIBLY! EXCUSE ME? POST AND QUOTE ARE TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT WORDS. LOOK DIFFERENT, MEAN DIFFERENT, SOUND DIFFERENT, USED DIFFERENTLY AND NOT THE SORTS OF WORDS ONE WOULD USUALLY CONFUSE. NOT ONLY THAT SHE ACCUSES ME OF REWRITING TOLKIEN IN AWAY THAT SUGGESTS I’M NOT ‘POSTING RESPONSIBLY’

NO, I’M NOT REWRITING TOLKIEN. I’M INDULGING MY IMAGINATION AND HAVING A BIT OF FUN WRITING WHAT IS KNOWN AS A PARODY. I AM IMAGINING WHAT LOTR MIGHT BE LIKE IF IT HAD BEEN WRITTEN BY BURROUGHS. THAT’S WILLIAM, NOT EDGAR RICE. I HAVE USED A CARICATURED STYLE OF BURROUGHS. WHETHER EFFECTIVELY OR TERRIBLY I LEAVE TO THE JUDGEMENT OF THE READER.

OKAY, SO MY SPELLING MAY NOT BE GREAT, MY GRAMMAR IMPERFECT. SO WHAT? DO I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT BURROUGHS? NOT PARTICULARLY BUT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO IF YOU WISH. IT IS, AFTER ALL, A FREE COUNTRY.

AND ANOTHER THING. BURROUGHS WAS NOT A MAN WITH PARCHMENT THIN FLESH. HE WAS ONLY A MAN WITH PARCHMENT THIN FLESH AT THE END OF HIS LIFE. I EXPECT HE WAS CHUBBY, WRINKLY AND PINK WHEN HE WAS BORN.

YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT I HAVE DONE. TOUGH. YOU MAY THINK I AM A WANKER. TOUGH. I DON’T CARE. IS IT ANY GOOD? PERHAPS I SHOULD START A POLL ON THIS ISSUE:

“MAD JACK RABBIT’S ATTEMPT AT PORTRAYING LOTR AS IF WRITTEN BY WILLIAM BURROUGHS IS:
A) MILDLY AMUSING
B) A PILE OF CRAP
C) I AM OBSESSED WITH TOLKIEN, HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOUR AND CONSIDER IT BLASPHEMOUS.
D) EXCREMENT FROM JUNKIES ASS WHO BEEN FUCKED ALL NIGHT WITH STEELY DAN III STRAP ON (STEELY DAN II RIPPED IN HALF BY BULL DYKE.)”

OKAY, I’M GOING TO REVISE THE ORIGINAL QUOTE TO MAKE THINGS NICE AND CLEAR AND SIMPLE:

“HELLO, WELCOME TO MAD JACK RABBIT’S THREAD.”

AND THERE'S NO POINT IN TELLING ME NOT TO TAKE IT SO SERIOUSLY; I KNOW THAT I SHOULDN'T TAKE IT SO SERIOUSLY, SO DON'T BOTHER.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

Un ashamed bump

 

[ScarlettRose]

hmmm, so now the nick makes sense.

 

[Angeline]

On Burroughs

Dear Mad Person,

I am so very sorry I misquoted you and that I answered your thread in such a way that caused you to produce not one but two angry rants about posts, quotes, and at what point in his life burroughs developed parchment-like skin.

I was trying to be funny. Apparently that did not communicate.

Have a nice thread.

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

I over reacted. I'm sorry.

In future I shall leave replying to until I've had a chance to think and blow off any steam. Hopefully I shall then post a more calmer reply than a rant.

Aplogetically, MJR

 

[Pagliacci]

Re: Re: If William Burroughs wrote 'Lord of the Rings'

Originally posted by Mad_Jack_Rabbit
___________________________
Welcome to Mad_Jack_Rabbit's thread. A somewhat strange one I expect.

Please try and refrain from using this as a chat room - there are chat rooms for that sort of thing - and please refrain from posting banalities here - there are plenty of other threads for that sort of thing. I know because I posted on them.

Oh, and one more thing. Please don't quote unless it really is necessary, say from at least a few posts before. It isn't hard to read the post just above.

In otherwords, please quote responsibly. (added for clarification in response to comments)

Thanks,

MJR

(Look, don't take it too seriously. I'm just making a polite request, not laying down the law okay? Can we move on now please?) In otherwords, please quote responsibly.
________________________

NOW I THOUGHT THAT THE ABOVE WAS FAIRLY STRAIGHT FORWARD, EASY TO UNDERSTAND AND INOFFENSIVE. JUDGING BY THE REPLIES I WAS NAÏVE TO THINK SO.

FIRST OFF IS THE “SELF OPINIONATED OLD FART” (HIS DESCRIPTION, NOT MINE) WEIRD HAROLD WHO TELLS ME THAT I SHOULDN’T BE TRYING TO BAN QUOTES BUT PROMOTE RESPONSIBLE QUOTING.

I THOUGHT THAT WAS WHAT I WAS DOING. HOW FUCKING STUPID OF ME TO GET THAT WRONG! AND THEN HE MAKES THE BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS POINT THAT “LORD OF THE RINGS” WOULDN’T BE “LORD OF THE RINGS” IF IT HADN’T BEEN WRITTEN BY TOLKIEN! WELL FUCK ME! ALL THIS TIME I’VE BEEN GOING AROUND THINKING THAT BURROUGHS’S ‘THE NAKED LUNCH” WOULD HAVE BEEN EXACTLY THE SAME BOOK WHETHER IT HAD BEEN WRITTEN BY LEWIS CARROLL OR ENID BLYTON! GOSH! IT IS TRUE THAT YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERYDAY!

WELL HERE’S SOME NEWS FOR YOU WEIRD HAROLD YOU PEDANTIC BASTARD: LOTR IS NOT A TRILOGY AS YOU SAY BUT A NOVEL PUBLISHED IN THREE VOLUMES. “AH-HA! THREE BOOKS THEREFORE A TRILOGY!” I HEAR YOU SAY. WRONG! LOTR IS SIX BOOKS, TWO IN EACH VOLUME MAKING IT, BY THE YOUR REASONING, A SEXTUPLET. <CRINGES IN PREPARATION FOR THE INEVITABLE PUNS>

AND THEN THERE’S ANGELINE. DEAR, SWEET ANGELINE (WHO NO DOUBT HAS LOTS OF FRIENDS WHO WILL TELL ME OFF FOR WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY) WHO IMMEDIATELY GETS IT WRONG AND THINKS I’M ASKING PEOPLE TO “POST” RESPONSIBLY! EXCUSE ME? POST AND QUOTE ARE TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT WORDS. LOOK DIFFERENT, MEAN DIFFERENT, SOUND DIFFERENT, USED DIFFERENTLY AND NOT THE SORTS OF WORDS ONE WOULD USUALLY CONFUSE. NOT ONLY THAT SHE ACCUSES ME OF REWRITING TOLKIEN IN AWAY THAT SUGGESTS I’M NOT ‘POSTING RESPONSIBLY’

NO, I’M NOT REWRITING TOLKIEN. I’M INDULGING MY IMAGINATION AND HAVING A BIT OF FUN WRITING WHAT IS KNOWN AS A PARODY. I AM IMAGINING WHAT LOTR MIGHT BE LIKE IF IT HAD BEEN WRITTEN BY BURROUGHS. THAT’S WILLIAM, NOT EDGAR RICE. I HAVE USED A CARICATURED STYLE OF BURROUGHS. WHETHER EFFECTIVELY OR TERRIBLY I LEAVE TO THE JUDGEMENT OF THE READER.

OKAY, SO MY SPELLING MAY NOT BE GREAT, MY GRAMMAR IMPERFECT. SO WHAT? DO I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT BURROUGHS? NOT PARTICULARLY BUT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO IF YOU WISH. IT IS, AFTER ALL, A FREE COUNTRY.

AND ANOTHER THING. BURROUGHS WAS NOT A MAN WITH PARCHMENT THIN FLESH. HE WAS ONLY A MAN WITH PARCHMENT THIN FLESH AT THE END OF HIS LIFE. I EXPECT HE WAS CHUBBY, WRINKLY AND PINK WHEN HE WAS BORN.

YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT I HAVE DONE. TOUGH. YOU MAY THINK I AM A WANKER. TOUGH. I DON’T CARE. IS IT ANY GOOD? PERHAPS I SHOULD START A POLL ON THIS ISSUE:

“MAD JACK RABBIT’S ATTEMPT AT PORTRAYING LOTR AS IF WRITTEN BY WILLIAM BURROUGHS IS:
A) MILDLY AMUSING
B) A PILE OF CRAP
C) I AM OBSESSED WITH TOLKIEN, HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOUR AND CONSIDER IT BLASPHEMOUS.
D) EXCREMENT FROM JUNKIES ASS WHO BEEN FUCKED ALL NIGHT WITH STEELY DAN III STRAP ON (STEELY DAN II RIPPED IN HALF BY BULL DYKE.)”

OKAY, I’M GOING TO REVISE THE ORIGINAL QUOTE TO MAKE THINGS NICE AND CLEAR AND SIMPLE:

“HELLO, WELCOME TO MAD JACK RABBIT’S THREAD.”

AND THERE'S NO POINT IN TELLING ME NOT TO TAKE IT SO SERIOUSLY; I KNOW THAT I SHOULDN'T TAKE IT SO SERIOUSLY, SO DON'T BOTHER.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

Writing in all caps lends so much more credence to what's said in the post.

I wonder if this is responsible or irresponsible quoting.

Oh well what the hell.

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

Capitals are usually considered as 'shouting'. And that was exactly what I was doing.

Was it a responsible quote?

You can be the judge of that. Ask yourself if it was necessary to quote the whole thing.

If you had read all the way to the bottom you'd realise that I had done away with the 'quote' thing.

Responsible quoting? I don't care anymore. People are so tetchy about this 'responsibe quoting' thing.

 

[Pagliacci]

<SNIP>
Capitals are usually considered as 'shouting'. And that was exactly what I was doing.

And shouting your arguments lends more credence to what you're saying ?
Not to mention that insulting those that don't agree really helps your cause out.
In regards to the last I'm not referring to myself but to those you are directing your all caps post to.

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

I was angy. Get over it. I have.

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

Does shouting lend more credence to my words? No I don't think so. But then nor does the traditional mix of upper and lower case letters. It is the words themselves that are the most important thing.

Besides using to capitals to show my anger, I also wanted to contrast the rant with the original mild post and I think the use of capitals does that effectively. I could have used BOLD or Itallics but I wanted to use bold for emphasis elsewhere and I don't think the italics stands out well in these posts.

Pagliacci, you obviously object to my use of capital letters. You got something against them? I bet you are one of those people who believe that capital letters should only be used at the start of a sentence or for a the first letter of a proper noun. A capital letter must know it's place, right?

I think that what rattled your cage was seeing all these 'uppity' capital letters, getting above themselves and being given equal treatment with lower case letters. How 'Capitalist' of you.

My view is different. If I want to use a capital letter for effect, I'll use a capital letter for effect. I may choose to put them in the miDDle of a word. or maybe i won't use any at all. perhaps only just before a full stoP. oR usE theM foR everY lasT letteR. It all depends on what mood I am in at the time.

You see, I will use a capital letter where ever and whenever I like and no little 'GRAMMAR FASCIST' like you is going to stop me. UNDERSTAND? I'm going to stand up for freedom of speech and the freedom to type things how I want. I will not be dictated to by the people oppressing captital letters.

EQUAL RIGHTS FOR CAPITAL LETTERS!
EQUAL RIGHTS FOR CAPITAL LETTERS!
EQUAL RIGHTS FOR CAPITAL LETTERS!

So who's with me on this?

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

It just get's better and better.

First Jeffrey Archer violates the terms of his home visits and gets banged up in a proper nick. Oh I do hope they give him a cell with a nice friendly cell mate, someone who likes to play 'Mummies and Daddies'

Now Edwina Curry has published her diaries and revealed that she and John Major had an affair for four years ('84-'88). Mr Major has, apparently, confirmed the story.

Ironically, When it came to light that the then Liberal leader Paddy Ashdown had been having an affair, his popularity went up and he was nick named 'Paddy Pants down.' This was a complete turn around - other labour/tory M.P.s caught dipping the wick in places they shouldn't were eventually made to resign. Not Paddy though.

The response prompted one satirical comedy show to run a spoof news item where reports/commentators were revealing that, in an attempt to boost their flagging popularity, Tony Blair and John Major were revealing that they too had had affairs! I bet they didn't expect to be right about Major.

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

Judjing by the lack of comments about the piece itself, I am beginging to suspect that people arent' making past the first paragraph at most. Which means they've missed out on the flying elephant bit. Ha! Their loss, not mine!

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

Bump

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

Bump

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

If more people read this thread, I promise to post something more interesting than *bump* next time.