Thinking of making a story; here's a quick first-write

[SingularFocus]

Years ago, when I was in high school, I wrote a (then age-appropriate) story that I posted on 4chan, and got some nice comments (including my favourite, that I still remember, ish: "Thanks, I'm gay now").

Every now and then, I try to write again, but nothing's been good. However, I think that what I'm currently writing has potential. It will, however, not have any real characters- it's a first person perspective of an exhibitionist woman who likes teasing and being groped by strangers.

(The lack of characters isn't something that can really be fixed; I'm too autistic to people.)

So, hello literotica, please take a look at this first-write, and tell me if the reading style is tolerable.

1.

It was Monday, first day of school, and I was excited. For the past few months I had been struggling with a decision, and I had finally arrived at a conclusion. The previous week had been spent, mostly, on planing and preparation, and now I was ready: I had a professional-looking, form-fitting, black business suit, with a skirt that, while short, was just on the right side of acceptability. Under the suit I had a white button-up shirt that was barely transparent; it seemed appropriate and decent, unless you really looked. My shoes were nice, but unremarkable; black, short heels, comfortable. All in all, I looked like you’d expect a proper teacher to look.

You may notice that I didn’t mention my bra or other clothing, and that’s part of what I had decided: I wasn’t wearing anything under my suit and shirt.

Going outside like this was exciting beyond words. The thought that people could, at least in theory, see through my shirt, or up my skirt, that people could see my privates.. I could feel my nipples getting hard already, and I knew for a fact that their hardness was visible to anyone who’d look at me. Excitement was quickly joined by panic, and I almost abandoned the idea entirely when I saw a man look at me, at my chest. But it was little more than the casual look men often gave my chest; my breasts are, quite frankly, excellent. The disappointment and relief I felt then joined together to give me the courage I needed, and so I kept on walking to the train station, heart pounding.

I arrived on time for the train, and, as planned, it was packed full of people going to wherever. It was mostly men here, the women-only train having left only a few minutes ago. This, too, was part of my plan, and so was what happened a few minutes after the train started: someone’s hand rested on my waist.

I didn’t look around. I reached back, grabbed his hand, and moved it down, so that it was on my butt instead. The man was startled, and almost drew his hand back. Almost. Once he figured out what was happening, he started to grope around, touching and squeezing my ass in an almost frantic way. It was rather clumsy, and by itself was more annoying than enjoyable, but the fact that I not only allowed, but encouraged, a complete stranger to touch me like that, in public no less, more than made up for it. I still had about fifteen minutes, so I decided to take things further.

I let go of his hand, and grabbed around until I found his body. Slowly and deliberately, I moved down, until my hand was on his crotch. Just as I hoped, I could feel his erection through his trousers. While a good part of me wanted to take his pants off and fuck him right then and there, I had enough common sense to know that that would be a dumb idea. A sexy, hot, seductive, dumb idea.

He took this as a message, or an invitation, and moved his hand around my waist, finding my crotch. He pushed, and I went backwards, so that now I felt his erection on my ass while he felt my now-wet pussy. No words were spoken as we groped and rubbed together, but our breathing was heavier and our movements grew more determined; he had his hand pressed against my pussy, rubbing and pushing my ass to his rock-hard cock. I, in turn, rubbed myself up against said cock, stroking him with my hand and ass.

It was too good to last. I was nearing orgasm when he stopped, and took my hand away from his crotch. “I’m not cumming in my pants.” was all he said to me. It was for the best, since I had completely lost track of time, and it was almost my stop. Still, though. If he hadn’t stopped, I think I might’ve gotten off a few moments before it was time to get off.

Sighing with frustration and pent-up desire, I adjusted my outfit and got some tissues from my purse, using them to wipe away the juices that had formed. I didn’t turn around, but leaned my head back as I pushed the damp tissues towards him; “Maybe this will help.” I said to him. There was no response, but he did take the tissues.

 

[xerotique]

So Lovely

Somehow i'm having to voice an opinion of my innocence in the matter, and pick a million dollars?

 

[SingularFocus]

"Somehow i'm having to voice an opinion of my innocence in the matter, and pick a million dollars?"

I'm sorry, what? Is that your signature, or...?

 

[jarigi]

Greetings SingularFocus. A bit of friendly advice....try posting on one of the story based forums instead of the General Board. Many here don't read the Lit stories and in fact I suspect some cannot even read. BTW I enjoyed your story and I encourage you to complete it and upload to Lit. Be prepared for some to score it 1 while most will score 3-5. Many sick souls on board.

 

[JackoK]

A good start, SingularFocus, thank you. I noticed a small mistake in the beginning - "planing" should be "planning".
I'm looking forward to reading how your character reveals herself (in all possible ways) at school ...

 

[SingularFocus]

Greetings SingularFocus. A bit of friendly advice....try posting on one of the story based forums instead of the General Board. Many here don't read the Lit stories and in fact I suspect some cannot even read. BTW I enjoyed your story and I encourage you to complete it and upload to Lit. Be prepared for some to score it 1 while most will score 3-5. Many sick souls on board.

Thanks. Could you be more specific on which forum to post?

A good start, SingularFocus, thank you. I noticed a small mistake in the beginning - "planing" should be "planning".
I'm looking forward to reading how your character reveals herself (in all possible ways) at school ...

There's a reason why I didn't publish this, but thanks. And we all make typos, as is evident.

But, yeah, my plans have changed somewhat.

I'm thinking of writing a story where "I" am in my last semester of high school and get placed in an all-male class, and in the last few months decide to make the statement: I am nobody's girlfriend, but I am everyone's girlfriend. Or something like that. Essentially, make it plain and obvious that I'm not going to be attached to anyone, but that every boy in class gets a piece.

Except Gary the Gay, because comic relief. Or maybe I'd have him join in afterward. Or during. Possibilities are endless in fiction.

Having a bunch of guys wank off on me, and then another guy comes and licks up all the semen is quite the thought. Not sure if the audience is into it, but I sure am.

ANYWAY

Is the style tolerable? Not too many commas? Not too stilted? I'm more interested in how the writing can be improved than how it's a good start tbh, even though I am delighted to hear that you guys liked it. I'm just typing as I'd talk, more-or-less, and even my own mother gets bored by the way that I speak. (Though to be fair, that is in my native language; it may well be that I am more tolerable in english)

 

[DoctorSmith8]

Years ago, when I was in high school, I wrote a (then age-appropriate) story that I posted on 4chan, and got some nice comments (including my favourite, that I still remember, ish: "Thanks, I'm gay now").

Every now and then, I try to write again, but nothing's been good. However, I think that what I'm currently writing has potential. It will, however, not have any real characters- it's a first person perspective of an exhibitionist woman who likes teasing and being groped by strangers.

(The lack of characters isn't something that can really be fixed; I'm too autistic to people.)

So, hello literotica, please take a look at this first-write, and tell me if the reading style is tolerable.

Here's a micro fiction I came up with. All characters are 18+ of course...
*******
My biggest fear in school was being naked in the gym showers. Getting a boner in front of everyone would be the most embarrassing thing ever! I managed to keep things under control until one day after school at cross country track practice. I cut out early because my asthma was acting up and was all alone in the showers when it happened. It actually felt thrilling in a taboo way.

I turned off the water and pranced out bouncing and swaying but was suddenly paralyzed by an unexpected classmate. I felt like my life had ended as I stood there dripping with no place to hide. All he did was smile and give me a nod of approval, then turned and opened his locker like everything was cool.

I finally got over my fear.